PodcastsComedyCamp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

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Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson
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307 episodes

  • Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

    177 - Scrappy & Sore in my Juicy Couture

    04/15/2026 | 1h 20 mins.
    It's the one-year anniversary of Jonathan's hair transplant and he's celebrating in a Juicy Couture velour tracksuit and a bedazzled hat, because why the frick not? In this episode, we're having flashbacks to the great Mario Movie 4DX feud. OOopsie, did not mean to bring that back up... but we buried the hatchet (for now hehe). The we're getting into birding! It's like Pokemon Go irl, who knew? And crows?! Did yall know they can hold a grudge against a specific human for up to 17 years! Sounds like us! Then we go deep on "We Built This City" by Starship, one of the most hated songs in rock history that also hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100, which sort of proves its own point. We also have a full Backseat Lovers / Kilby Girl deep dive, and the Everest Fraud Scheme thats actually nuts.
    This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.
    ➜ Jonathan's 12 Month Hair Transplant Journey
    ➜ Global Village Coffeehouse Video Essay
    Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!
    Sponsors:
    ➜ Protect your teeth with Remi at ShopRemi.com/camp and use code CAMP to get 50% off your new night guard!
    ➜ Go to REVOLVE.com/CAMP to shop and use code CAMP for 15% off your entire order! This offer ends April 29, 2025 so don’t wait!
    ➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp and use code: CAMP to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first order. Exclusions apply. See site for details.
    ➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.
    ➜ Join Thrive Market with our link ThriveMarket.com/camp for $20 off your first three orders plus you’ll get a FREE $60 gift.

    Works Cited:
    ➜ Prasain, Sangam. “Inside Nepal’s Fake Rescue Racket.” The Kathmandu Post, 27 Mar. 2026.
    ➜ Wethington, Paula. “‘Do You Think I’m Stupid?’ Judge Calls Out Woman for Denying She’s Driving During Zoom Hearing.” WCVB, 27 Mar. 2026.
    ➜ Khoirotun, R. “Did You Know That Crows Can Hold Grudges for Seventeen Years?” Medium, 14 June 2025.
    Camp Songs:
    Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape
    Social Media:
    Camp Counselors TikTok
    Camp Counselors Instagram
    Camp Counselors Facebook
    Camp Counselors Twitter
    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
  • Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

    Bride's Mom is A WEREWOLF! - Trail Mix #127

    04/13/2026 | 34 mins.
    This week on Trail Mix, our campers went through it and we are so grateful they survived to tell us about it. A friend who MacGyvered a lost ID back from the dead using gum and a coffee stirrer at midnight, an Airbnb host who had absolutely no concept of personal boundaries, and a mom who took a bachelorette trip completely off the rails in the middle of the woods.
    Sponsors:
    ➜ Shop now at Fabletics.com/camp to get 70% to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Limited time only.
    ➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP
    Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!
    Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!
    Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape
    Social Media:
    Camp Counselors TikTok
    Camp Counselors Instagram
    Camp Counselors Facebook
    Camp Counselors Twitter
    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
  • Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

    176 - Controversial Mount Rushmore of Fast Food

    04/08/2026 | 1h 5 mins.
    We're creating our Mount Rushmores this week and it's getting controversial. Well... for us. We ranked our top four fast food items, Counselor Zachariah's favorite places to just walk around, and then Counselor Jonathan built an Anti Mount Rushmore of his most hated fictional characters of all time. Some of you will agree, and some of you will be on the wrong side of Shady Birch history. Either way, leave a comment I guess. Then we've got an 80-year-old cafe owner who spent a month baking a 6,000-pound carrot cake for his birthday. The Philadelphia airport set a Guinness World Record by lining up 1,291 cheesesteaks between terminals (kind of a nightmare imo). We're also ranting about a dog that would not stop barking in a hotel room, having an anxiety attack at TJ Maxx, why fireflies are the greatest bug alive, and Lisa Kudrow's The Comeback deserves more love. Its a fabulous episode, duh.
    This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.
    Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!
    Works Cited:
    ➜ Hooper, Ben. "Cafe Owner Celebrates Birthday with 6,044-Pound Carrot Cake." UPI, 27 Mar. 2026.
    ➜ Kulkarni, Akshay. "For His 80th Birthday, Ted Martindale and His Friends in Quesnel, B.C., Baked a 2,500-Kilogram Carrot Cake." CBC News, 26 Mar. 2026.
    ➜ Vejpongsa, Tassanee, and Leah Willingham. "Longest Line at Philly Airport? Cheesesteaks, Not Security." Associated Press, 24 Mar. 2026.
    Camp Songs:
    Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape
    Social Media:
    Camp Counselors TikTok
    Camp Counselors Instagram
    Camp Counselors Facebook
    Camp Counselors Twitter
    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
  • Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

    Pregnant by the Gay Ex-Convict Guy from Upstairs - Trail Mix #126

    04/06/2026 | 39 mins.
    In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper in need of advice for supporting someone she loves through something she's never experienced herself, a camper who opened her backpack at 30,000 feet to the shock of a lifetime, and a camper who makes good money, but her workplace can only be described as a nightmare she cannot wake up from.
    Sponsors:
    ➜ Go to zbiotics.com/CAMP15 to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use CAMP15 at checkout.
    ➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP
    ➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Get 30% off all purchases when you subscribe and save at LiquidIV.com/campcounselors
    Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!
    Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!
    Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape
    Social Media:
    Camp Counselors TikTok
    Camp Counselors Instagram
    Camp Counselors Facebook
    Camp Counselors Twitter
    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
  • Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

    175 - Hot Priest Caught Stealing From Walmart

    04/01/2026 | 59 mins.
    Hey our little April Fools! In this episode we have a cup of noodle betrayal that still hasn't been resolved, and ohhhh boy a lot more. A fisherman in Texas arrested for cheating in a bass fishing tournament. Meanwhile, the head priest of a historic Pittsburgh cathedral got caught stealing baseball cards from Walmart and allegedly may have been selling sacred church artifacts on eBay. That would totally make Jesus sad. We soft-pitch ourselves as a jingle writers, Jonathan explains why words that end in "sps" should be removed from the English language immediately, and dark mode. Naturally Zachariah loses his mind over people who can unexpectedly do the splits, and there's a full dispute about eating chips in bed after you've already brushed your teeth.
    This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.
    Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!
    Works Cited:
    ➜ "Texas Fishing Tournament Winner Arrested over Cheating Scandal." New York Post, 10 Mar. 2026.
    ➜ "Episcopal Priest Accused of Baseball Card Theft Resigns as Pittsburgh Cathedral Dean." Religion News Service, 16 Mar. 2026.
    Camp Songs:
    Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape
    Social Media:
    Camp Counselors TikTok
    Camp Counselors Instagram
    Camp Counselors Facebook
    Camp Counselors Twitter
    See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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About Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.
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