Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a Jahova’s Witness caught with sticky contraband, an uninvited carpool passenger on the way to work, and the tale of a camper who survived leg day, but lost it all to Jersey Mike’s.
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Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!
Sponsors:
➜ Stop settling for wines that don't quite hit the mark! Head to TryFirstleaf.com/camp to sign up and you'll get fifty percent off your first box PLUS free shipping for an entire year.
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➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP
Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!
Social Media:
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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What does a heat rash, a speeding ticket, and a banana shaped car all have in common? They are all in this episode, duh! We're also unpacking a teen Elvis tribute competition, Connecticut’s identity crisis, TikTok pearl parties (allegedly) scamming people, the Wheel of Fortune's shady social media manager, and so much more!
This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.
Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Works Cited:
➜ Spartz, Isabel. “‘The World Needs More Whimsy’: Giant Banana Car Draws Attention, and a Traffic Stop, near Billings.” KBZK, 21 June 2026.
➜ Bates, Sophie. “With Jumpsuits, Wigs and Dance Moves, These Young Boys and Teens Keep Elvis’ Legacy Alive.” AP News, Associated Press, 8 June 2026.
Camp Songs:
Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape
Social Media:
Camp Counselors TikTok
Camp Counselors Instagram
Camp Counselors Facebook
Camp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper in need of advice for her fiance with a bathroom-related tic in very public settings, a camper who just wanted to visit a coworker in the hospital and instead walked into a plot twist nobody at the office saw coming, and the tale of an AXE slinging devil at church camp.
Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!
Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!
Sponsors:
➜ Shop now at Fabletics.com/camp to get 70% to 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. Limited time only.
➜ Go to zbiotics.com/CAMP15 to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use CAMP15 at checkout.
➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP
Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!
Social Media:
Camp Counselors TikTok
Camp Counselors Instagram
Camp Counselors Facebook
Camp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In the episode we’re talking about the “Have a Gay Summer” drama at Dartmouth High School and why one little Pride bulletin board had terrible ugly adults acting like literal idiodic children. We also get into two former nuns finding love, a robot cop that is terrible at their job, anoying little chipmunks taking over our bird feeder, Disney cruise family trauma... but dont worry bc Zach will close us out with the healing powers of Norah Jones.
This episode was edited and mixed by Kevin Betts.
Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON! Explore everything Camp Shady Birch has to offer at CampShadyBirch.com!

Works Cited:
➜ Alves, Ian. “They Were Going to Be Nuns, Now They’re Married: ‘God Was Our Cupid.’” BBC News Brasil, 21 May 2026.
➜ Marchese, Tony. “Ohio Police Retire ‘Robocop’ After It Heroically Made Zero Arrests and Issued Zero Tickets in Nearly 10 Months.” On Tap Sports Net, 19 June 2026.
Camp Songs:
Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret Mixtape
Social Media:
Camp Counselors TikTok
Camp Counselors Instagram
Camp Counselors Facebook
Camp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this mini episode we read listener submitted stories about a camper who was forced to take her self-care routine to the streets, one camper who tea bagged too close to the sun and suffered the consequences, and a camper who went to Hooters for wings and left with structural damage on the bill.
Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!
Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!
Camp Songs: Listen on Spotify here or Listen online here!
Social Media:
Camp Counselors TikTok
Camp Counselors Instagram
Camp Counselors Facebook
Camp Counselors Twitter
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.