The Psychology of Relationships

There’s a quiet pressure many people carry: the feeling that they’re running out of time. Time to find love. Time to settle down. Time to make it all happen before the clock says otherwise. In this episode, Julie & Yue are joined by therapist and advocate Beth Gulotta to explore how societal timelines—especially around love, fertility, and partnership—shape our anxiety and decision-making. Through the lens of psychology, Beth breaks down how social comparison and time pressure can distort our choices, and why meeting love later in life often comes with more clarity, emotional maturity, and intention. This conversation invites a redefinition of what it means to be “on time,” while still honoring real biological and emotional realities.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• Why societal timelines create stress and rushed relationship decisions
• How social comparison fuels anxiety around love and fertility
• What psychology says about partnering later in life
• How to balance biological realties with value-aligned choices
• Ways to reclaim agency over your relationship and life timeline

To learn more about Beth Gulotta, follow her @bethgulotta and visit https://www.bethgulotta.com/ 

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You’ve probably heard of IQ and EQ—but what if the missing piece in your relationships is PQ? In this episode, Julie and Yue are joined by Shirzad Chamine, bestselling author and creator of Positive Intelligence, to unpack how our inner saboteurs quietly undermine relationships. Drawing from neuroscience and cognitive psychology, Shirzad explains why we’re wired to judge ourselves and our partners, how the nine saboteurs show up in dating and long-term relationships, and what happens when we let them run the show. Together, they explore how building positive intelligence helps interrupt reactivity, reduce self-sabotage, and create more fulfilling, emotionally resilient relationships.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• What Positive Intelligence (PQ) Is—and Why It Matters in Relationships
• The 9 Saboteurs That Appear in Every Relationship
• Why Judgment Is Hardwired Into the Brain (and How to Interrupt It)
• How Saboteurs Create Conflict, Distance, and Self-Sabotage in Love
• Practical Ways to Strengthen Your PQ Muscles
• How to Respond to Triggers With Curiosity Instead of Reactivity
• How Higher PQ Leads to Healthier, More Fulfilling Relationships
To learn more about Shirzad Chamine: follow @shirzadchamine and visit https://www.positiveintelligence.com

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Relationships don’t fall apart overnight—they erode through unresolved conflict, unmet needs, and missed opportunities for repair. In this episode, Julie & Yue are joined by Casey and Meygan Caston from Marriage365, marriage coaches and authors of The Marriage Habit and 365 Connecting Questions for Couples, to explore how their own marriage nearly collapsed and what it took to rebuild it. Drawing from both their personal journey and their work with hundreds of thousands of couples, they break down the patterns, expectations, and myths about marriage that often go unnoticed, and show how lasting love is possible when couples have the tools, awareness, and intentional practices to repair, reconnect, and thrive together.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• Why conflict isn’t the problem, but avoidance and defensiveness often are
• Key green and red flags to notice early in a relationship
• Cultural and modern myths about marriage that can sabotage relationships
• How to rebuild emotional safety, trust, and intimacy after disconnection
• Tools for maintaining a thriving, resilient relationship over the long term
To learn more about Casey and Meygan, follow them @marriage365 and visit https://marriage365.com/

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We often assume that love, marriage, or having children is the key to happiness—but research tells a more complicated story. In this episode, Julie & Yue are talking with Dr. Laurie Santos, Yale professor, psychologist, and host of The Happiness Lab, to explore the science of well-being and how that relates to our relationships with others. Drawing on decades of research, Dr. Santos explains how to feel fulfilled in love without relying on someone else to make you happy, ways to shift your focus from external achievements to internal well-being, and why relationships, while important, are only part of what creates lasting joy. 
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• What The Arrival Fallacy Is And Why Achieving Goals Often Fails To Boost Happiness
• How The U-Shaped Happiness Curve Explains Satisfaction Across Life Stages
• Why Social Connection Alone Isn't Enough For Fulfillment
• Research-backed Habits To Increase Personal Happiness And Emotional Resilience
• How Prioritizing Your Own Well-Being Improves Dating, Relationships, and Connection
To learn more about Dr. Laurie Santos, follow her @lauriesantos and visit https://www.thehappinesslab.com

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Love is supposed to feel good—so why does it so often feel confusing, activating, and emotionally exhausting? Even in the healthiest relationships, we can feel anxious, irritated, or like we’re “losing our mind,” which often leads to the quiet panic of wondering whether something is wrong with us or the relationship itself. Julie and Yue sit down with Todd Baratz, therapist and author of ‘How To Love Someone Without Losing Your Mind’ for a raw, unfiltered look at why love brings out our deepest insecurities, needs, and patterns. Todd breaks down why losing your mind in relationships is normal, how cognitive biases distort the way we evaluate partners, and why frustration doesn’t automatically mean you’re with the wrong person. 
In this episode, you’ll learn:
• Why Even Healthy Relationships Activate Anxiety, Doubt, and Emotional Intensity
• How Cognitive Biases Shape The Way You Judge Your Partner And Your Relationships
• What Frustration in Love Is Really Signaling (And What It's Not)
• Why 'Should I Stay or Should I Go?' Keeps People Stuck
• The Question That Actually Leads to Clarity, Self-Trust, and Relational Growth

To learn more about Todd, visit toddbaratz.com and follow him on Instagram @yourdiagnonsense

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