Sisters In Sobriety

In this deeply personal first episode of a new Sisters in Sobriety series, Sonia begins something she has circled for years: working the 12 steps. Joined by Arlina Allen, recovery coach, host of the One Day at a Time podcast, and author of The 12 Steps for Skeptics, Sonia explores why she has always respected AA while still feeling hesitant to fully commit. Together, Sonia and Arlina open the door to Step One with honesty, curiosity, humor, and a modern lens for anyone who has ever wondered whether the steps could work for them.

The conversation explores what it means to admit powerlessness over alcohol without collapsing into shame, why “unmanageable” does not always look like losing everything, and how women with high-functioning lives can still hit an emotional bottom. Sonia and Arlina talk about raising the bottom, separating the 12-step program from meeting culture, finding the right sponsor or guide, and why old recovery language can sometimes create resistance before people even get to the deeper wisdom underneath it.

This episode breaks down Step One in a practical, accessible way: defining powerlessness and unmanageability, identifying patterns around moderation, understanding denial, and recognizing the difference between being sober and being emotionally sober. Arlina also explains why the steps are not just about quitting alcohol, but about self-honesty, accountability, nervous system regulation, recovery habits, and learning to meet the parts of ourselves we would rather avoid.

Sonia also shares her own story of having what looked from the outside like a “silk sheet bottom”: a stable marriage, career success, financial security, and no dramatic external consequences. But inside, she was emotionally exhausted, self-loathing, and unable to keep the daily promise not to drink. Through Step One, she begins to see how alcohol had made her life unmanageable in quieter but powerful ways—and why this series may be less about joining a program perfectly and more about finally stepping inside the work.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.

Time-Stamped Highlights
00:00 Sonia introduces the new series and why she is finally choosing to work the 12 steps.

02:00 Arlina explains how she will guide Sonia through the steps using The 12 Steps for Skeptics.

03:00 Sonia shares why she has always “danced around” AA without fully committing.

04:00 The moment Sonia realized she could separate the 12-step program from meeting culture.

05:00 Arlina explains why the steps are an experience, not just words on a page.

07:00 Sonia opens up about the awkwardness of seeking a sponsor after years of sobriety.

08:00 Arlina explains why Sonia’s approach will be modified because she already has long-term sobriety.

09:00 Sonia reflects on being surprised by how much Step One had to offer.

10:00 The concept of “raising the bottom” helps Sonia reframe what recovery can look like.

11:00 Sonia describes having an emotional bottom even though her outside life looked stable.

12:00 Sonia shares how her brother’s AA experience planted the first seed that alcohol might be a problem.

14:00 Arlina clarifies that Step One means powerless over alcohol, not powerless over everything.

16:00 Sonia revisits Bill’s story with a more open mind than she had in the past.

18:00 Arlina introduces HOW: honest, open-minded, and willing.

21:00 Sonia and Arlina discuss finding similarities instead of differences in recovery stories.

23:00 Sonia defines powerlessness and unmanageability in her Step One homework.

24:00 Sonia shares the daily cycle of promising not to drink and drinking anyway.

26:00 Sonia connects deeply with the idea that when she enjoyed drinking, she could not control it.

28:00 Sonia questions whether rehashing old drinking stories is always helpful.

32:00 Arlina explains the difference between sobriety and recovery.

35:00 Sonia defines emotional sobriety as the ability to self-regulate without substances.

39:00 Sonia reflects on how drinking kept her from living in alignment with her values.

42:00 Sonia shares how sobriety helped her rediscover books, creativity, and her real personality.

45:00 Arlina explains how recovery asks people to love the parts of themselves they usually reject.

47:00 Sonia considers trying a women’s step study meeting as part of her homework.

48:00 Arlina gives Sonia the reading assignment for Step Two and they close the episode

Arlina's Links

🌐 www.soberlifeschool.com
📸 Instagram: @arlinaallen | @odaatpodcast

SIS Links

💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen

📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email

📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram

🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

In this episode, Sonia sits down with Richard Taite to talk about addiction, trauma, treatment, emotional sobriety, self-love, and what it really takes to build a life that feels worth staying present for. They explore Richard’s decades of experience as an addiction treatment entrepreneur, recovery advocate, founder of Cliffside Malibu and Carrera Treatment, and host of the mental health podcast We’re Out of Time. Richard also opens up about his own history with addiction, childhood trauma, homelessness, long-term recovery, and his controversial view that some people can transcend addiction after doing deep, sustained work.

The conversation moves through some big questions: Is addiction always a lifelong identity? What does it mean to truly recover versus simply stop using? How does childhood trauma become the emotional engine behind substance use disorder? Sonia and Richard also discuss AA, therapy, treatment centers, the fentanyl crisis, emotional sobriety, reparenting, and why “getting sober” is only one part of the work. Richard challenges familiar recovery language while still crediting AA as a foundation in his own life, making space for a more nuanced conversation about addiction recovery, identity, and healing.

Richard explains why therapy has been central to his recovery, how shame forms in childhood, and why so many people carry a “bad kid” narrative into adulthood. He shares his belief that self-care can become self-esteem, and self-esteem can become self-love—especially when recovery expands beyond abstinence into purpose, parenting, relationships, physical health, and joy. The episode also looks at what effective addiction treatment should include today, why therapeutic fit matters, and how families may need to think differently about drugs, alcohol, opioids, and fentanyl in the current recovery landscape.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.

 

Highlights

[00:01:00] Richard corrects the record about his sobriety and explains why he no longer identifies as sober.

[00:02:00] Richard describes what he means by “transcending addiction.”

[00:03:00] He shares the Michelin-star wine-pairing moment that showed him his relationship with alcohol had changed.

[00:04:00] Sonia asks whether his shift happened suddenly or slowly over time.

[00:05:00] Richard explains why thriving matters after getting sober.

[00:07:00] Sonia asks how his current relationship with alcohol differs from active addiction.

[00:08:00] Richard opens up about becoming a father and losing the fantasy of eventually getting loaded again.

[00:10:00] Sonia asks whether fatherhood pushed him into deeper emotional sobriety work.

[00:11:00] Richard talks about being in therapy for much of his recovery.

[00:12:00] Richard shares the therapy moment that helped him understand he was never “a bad kid.”

[00:14:00] He explains how childhood shame can keep running the adult life.

[00:16:00] Sonia and Richard discuss childhood trauma as a root driver of addiction.

[00:18:00] Richard challenges the idea that one first drink automatically explains addiction.

[00:19:00] He talks about AA as a foundation while also questioning rigid recovery identities.

[00:21:00] Richard explains why he sees AA as support, not treatment.

[00:23:00] He connects self-care, self-esteem, and self-love.

[00:27:00] Richard explains why treatment should feel like care, not punishment.

[00:32:00] Sonia asks how fentanyl changed the addiction treatment landscape.

[00:34:00] Richard shares the overdose death that brought him back into treatment work.

[00:40:00] Richard describes how he talks to his son about pills, powders, fentanyl, and peer pressure.

[00:45:00] Sonia asks what families should look for in a recovery center today.

[00:50:00] Richard closes with a message of hope for anyone afraid to ask for help.

 

Richard's Links

https://www.instagram.com/richardtaiteofficial/

https://carraratreatment.com/author/richard/ 

SIS Links

💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen

📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email

📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram

🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Creativity isn’t just a hobby—it can be a sobriety tool, a self-care practice, and a way back to the parts of ourselves we forgot. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen explore how play, journaling, memory keeping, and hands-on creativity can help women rebuild identity and joy after alcohol. Sonia is joined by Amy Tangerine, a designer, author, creative director, memory keeper, and founder of a colorful creative brand that has inspired hundreds of thousands of people to reconnect with imagination, craft, and permission to play.

The conversation opens up the question of what happens when drinking used to be the “play hard” part of life—and what it means to redefine fun in sobriety. Sonia and Amy talk about childhood creativity, cozy hobbies, scrapbooking, junk journaling, reading, Legos, collecting, and why many adults dismiss the very activities that once made them feel alive. They also explore how high-achieving women can struggle to do something without measuring it, monetizing it, or turning it into another task.

Amy shares how creative flow can become a grounding practice, especially for people who feel anxious, overworked, disconnected, or unsure of who they are without alcohol. The episode covers memory keeping, analog journaling, vision boards, tactile creativity, pen-to-paper reflection, creative self-care, inner child work, and the difference between creating for an outcome versus creating for the process. Amy also talks about “taking your rage out on the page,” using journaling to process emotions, and building small systems that make creativity possible in 10- to 15-minute pockets.

In the personal story segment, Amy opens up about being raised by immigrant parents, her early love of stickers, crayons, journals, and magazines, her transition from fashion into scrapbooking, and the burnout that pushed her to rethink success. She also shares the deeply personal role vision boards played during her miscarriages, how creativity helped her imagine and accept a different version of family, and how manifesting, aligned action, and self-belief shaped her life.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.

 

Highlights

00:00 Welcome to Sisters in Sobriety with Amy Tangerine
01:00 Amy’s earliest creative sparks: crayons, stickers, journals, and crafts
02:00 From fashion design to scrapbooking and memory keeping
03:00 The Hello Kitty journal that started Amy’s diary practice
04:00 Why Amy blended memoir and guidance in Craft a Life You Love
05:00 Why hobbies matter more than people think
06:00 Taking 15 minutes for creativity without explaining it to anyone
07:00 Amy’s immigrant parents and the freedom to follow what made her happy
09:00 Creativity as a way to design a more intentional life
10:00 Creative flow, harmony, and coming back to yourself
11:00 Collage as comfort during family stress and grief
13:00 Redefining play when drinking used to be the recreational hobby
14:00 Returning to the activities that brought joy in childhood
15:00 Sonia on rediscovering reading in sobriety
16:00 Legos, collecting, and childhood hobbies as adult comfort
18:00 Junk journaling and the return to analog creativity
20:00 What happens emotionally when people enter a playful state
21:00 Giving yourself permission to create in small pockets of time
23:00 Letting go of metrics, productivity, and the pressure of an end product
25:00 Pen-to-paper journaling versus digital memory keeping
27:00 Balancing AI tools, metrics, and the need for handwriting
30:00 What memory keeping really means
31:00 “Take your rage out on the page” as emotional release
34:00 Pickleball, anger, and accessing different parts of the self
35:00 Simple ways to incorporate photos, planners, and everyday memories
37:00 Why memory keeping does not have to be chronological
39:00 Vision boards, self-belief, and “what I desire is what I deserve”
42:00 Manifesting, higher power, and aligned action
47:00 Amy’s products, printables, stickers, and ways to get started creatively

Amy's Links
 
http://www.amytangerine.com/
https://www.instagram.com/amytangerine/
 

SIS Links

💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen

📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email

📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram

🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Sonia sits down with psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Hochman for a candid, nuanced conversation on addiction, recovery, and what actually works in the real world in this episode of Sisters in Sobriety. Daniel Hochman, is a board-certified psychiatrist and creator of Self Recovery, an online program helping people address substance and behavioral addictions through a science-based, psychologically informed approach that prioritizes privacy, agency, and emotional understanding.

The conversation explores the limits of traditional recovery models, including where 12-step programs can feel outdated or incomplete, and why concepts like “powerlessness” may actually undermine long-term change. Sonia and Dr. Hochman dig into questions around agency vs. external control, whether addiction is a disease or learned behavior, and how approaches like urge surfing, emotional regulation, and behavioral strategies fit into recovery. They also examine the role of medication like Antabuse and naltrexone, the rise of alternative recovery models, and how high-achieving individuals experience addiction differently.

Dr. Hochman reframes addiction as a response to “intolerable emotions,” highlighting how anxiety, dissatisfaction, and internal conflict can quietly drive addictive behaviors. He introduces a practical framework—moving from underlying distress to cravings to action—and explains how different “points of attack” can interrupt that cycle. 

As the conversation unfolds, Sonia shares her own experience navigating sobriety outside of traditional systems, including her curiosity about the 12 steps and her journey into emotional sobriety.

The episode shifts into a more personal exploration of identity—especially for high achievers whose self-worth is tied to performance—and what it looks like to rebuild a sense of self without alcohol. Through this lens, recovery becomes less about restriction and more about rediscovery, experimentation, and learning how to sit with discomfort rather than escape it.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.

Highlights

[00:00] Introduction to Dr. Daniel Hochman and Self Recovery
[01:00] Why willpower isn’t enough in addiction recovery
[02:00] What a psychiatrist actually does in addiction treatment
[03:00] Early exposure to rehab systems and gaps in care
[04:00] Problems within the addiction treatment industry
[05:00] The role of untrained providers in recovery spaces
[06:00] Sonia’s experience exploring the 12 steps
[07:00] “Powerlessness” and the problem with vague frameworks
[09:00] Locus of control and reclaiming agency in recovery
[12:00] Why vague advice like “try harder” doesn’t work
[14:00] What traditional recovery models get right—and wrong
[16:00] Why addiction science hasn’t been fully integrated into AA
[18:00] Addiction as a response to underlying emotional distress
[20:00] Trauma, boredom, dissatisfaction, and hidden drivers
[22:00] The “current” model: from pain to craving to action
[24:00] Urge surfing and behavioral tools for early sobriety
[26:00] Why deep emotional work shouldn’t come first
[28:00] Limitations of CBT and surface-level therapy
[30:00] Inside the Self Recovery program framework
[33:00] Sobriety vs. moderation: choosing your own path
[36:00] Medications in recovery: Antabuse vs. naltrexone
[41:00] High achievers, identity, and addiction patterns
[45:00] Rebuilding a sense of self beyond achievement
[49:00] Rediscovering hobbies, curiosity, and joy in sobriety
[51:00] One simple awareness practice to start changing behavior

Dr. Hochman's Links

Self Recovery's Website: https://www.selfrecovery.org/

Self Recovery's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfrecoveryhealth/

SIS Links

💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen

📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email

📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram

🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

Sonia sits down with Jeremy Lipkowitz to unpack addiction, dopamine, and the hidden patterns behind compulsive behaviors—from alcohol to everyday habits.

They dive into the questions most people avoid: What actually drives compulsive behavior? Why does dopamine keep us chasing more instead of feeling satisfied? How do perfectionism, shame, and high achievement intersect with addiction? And what happens when we swap one coping mechanism for another—alcohol for work, porn, social media, or even productivity? They also explore how habits quietly escalate and how identity becomes entangled in addiction.

Jeremy breaks down neuroplasticity and how repeated behaviors wire the brain, reinforcing cycles of craving and avoidance. He reframes dopamine as the chemical of wanting—not pleasure—and explains how this fuels the loop of desire. The conversation introduces tools like urge surfing, mindfulness, and creating space between stimulus and response, alongside a deeper look at emotional avoidance, shame, and the “hungry ghost” cycle of never feeling like enough. They also demystify meditation—what it actually is, and how to practice it without perfection.

The episode also traces Jeremy’s personal turning point—from a high-achieving student battling insecurity and compulsive behaviors to discovering meditation and a new definition of fulfillment. As Sonia reflects on her own patterns in real time, the conversation becomes a powerful example of what it looks like to pause, notice, and choose differently.

This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources.

TIME-STAMPED HIGHLIGHTS

00:00 – Introduction to Jeremy Lipkowitz and his work in addiction recovery
01:30 – Jeremy’s early struggles with insecurity and addiction
03:45 – Realizing the path he was on wasn’t leading to happiness
06:15 – Why success didn’t translate into fulfillment
08:00 – Neuroplasticity and how habits shape the brain
10:30 – Dopamine explained: wanting vs. liking
12:45 – How addiction escalates over time
14:30 – Addiction as emotional avoidance
16:10 – Why we struggle with boredom and discomfort
17:45 – Identity and shame in addiction
20:00 – Rationalizing harmful behaviors
21:30 – Addiction as a universal pattern
23:00 – The “dry drunk” concept and root causes
24:30 – Healthier vs. harmful coping mechanisms
26:00 – Recognizing subtle compulsions
28:15 – What urge surfing is
31:00 – Creating space before reacting
34:00 – Building mindfulness as a skill
37:00 – Meditation myths and perfectionism
41:30 – Different types of meditation
45:00 – Mindfulness in everyday life
49:00 – Perfectionism as addiction
52:00 – The “hungry ghost” mindset
55:30 – Sonia’s real-time habit awareness
58:30 – Learning to sit with boredom
01:02:00 – Why abstinence can help moderation
01:06:00 – How subtle habits take hold
01:09:00 – Finding freedom from external validation

Jeremy's Links

Podcast: https://unhooked.buzzsprout.com/
Website: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremylipkowitz/
 
SIS Links

💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen

📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email

📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram

🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast

📸 Kathleen’s Instagram