Sisters In Sobriety

• How to Find Your Spark Again in Midlife with Shannon Watts

  Sobriety, midlife purpose, and finding your spark again. Sonia sits down with activist and author Shannon Watts. Shannon is the founder of Moms Demand Action, the nation’s largest grassroots group fighting gun violence. She led the organization to pass over 500 gun-safety laws and mobilize millions of supporters. She’s been named one of TIME’s 100 Most Influential People, a Forbes 50 Over 50 Changemaker, and a Glamour Woman of the Year. In 2025 she published her book Fired Up: How to Turn Your Spark into a Flame and Come Alive at Any Age. Together, they talk about what it really looks like to rebuild your life when the old one stops fitting. Shannon shares the story of her own “wake-up moment,” and Sonia brings her lived experience of starting over, making hard pivots, and learning to own her sobriety without apology. This episode is all about finding your spark again, even if you haven’t felt it in years. Sonia and Shannon dive into the big questions so many women wrestle with in midlife: How do you know when you’re meant for something more? What if you’ve spent decades doing what you were supposed to do instead of what you actually want? How do you handle people’s opinions when you finally step into your power? And what happens when drinking, dating, parenting, obligations, burnout, and old roles start to clash with the woman you’re becoming? Listeners will walk away with practical guidance and clarity around what lights them up. Shannon shares her simple framework for figuring out your next chapter, how to deal with criticism without shrinking, and why rest, boundaries, community, and honesty matter more than perfection. This episode also looks at signs you might be ready for a change, the myths about “purpose,” the pressure women carry in midlife, and the surprising freedom that comes with not caring what everyone else thinks. Sonia opens up about dating in sobriety, making herself small for years, and the moment she realized she didn’t need to apologize for the life she’s building. Shannon shares the realities of starting a national movement while raising five kids, navigating co-parenting, dealing with internet trolls, and knowing when it was finally time to step back. It’s heartfelt, real, and filled with the kind of “me too” moments that make women feel less alone. Episode Highlights  01:00 Shannon shares the moment she realized her life wasn’t aligned anymore 03:12 The emergency room visit that became her turning point 04:10 How journaling helped her map out a completely different future 06:02 Shannon explains her “values, abilities, desires” formula 07:15 Why so many women put obligations before what they actually want 09:20 The guilt and shame that show up when women start changing their lives 11:05 Sonia talks about the date that made her second-guess her sobriety identity 12:14 Shannon’s advice for handling criticism without shrinking 16:08 What launching Moms Demand Action looked like behind the scenes 18:02 The fear moms have about pursuing desires “at the expense of their kids” 20:40 How to know it’s time for a pivot even without a dramatic crisis 23:05 Discovering abilities you don’t realize you have 25:00 Sonia shares how nightly drinking revealed deeper misalignment 26:15 Shannon on her “controlled burn” approach to clearing space for change 28:20 The difference between true urgency and pressure we put on ourselves 30:12 Why Gen X women have more freedom in midlife than we realize 33:00 Shannon redefines success after years of burnout and martyrdom 35:18 How female friendships became the backbone of her second chapter 37:05 Sonia talks about intentionally rebuilding her community 40:22 The hardest “no” Shannon ever had to make in her career 46:04 The early “failure” that ended up shaping her entire movement 47:18 What Shannon hopes her next decade looks like SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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• Hard Truths About Infidelity Part 2

  Infidelity, emotional sobriety, and recovery collide in this raw and honest continuation of the Sisters in Sobriety infidelity chat. In today’s episode, Sonia and Kathleen explore what happens when betrayal shows up in a relationship — and how to navigate it without abandoning yourself or your sobriety. They dig into the emotional rollercoaster, the shame that can surface on both sides, and the surprising ways infidelity can mimic relapse patterns even without alcohol involved. We'll unpack: what does emotional sobriety look like when your heart just got shattered? Can cheating happen as a form of emotional escape? How do you stay grounded when your nervous system is on fire and every coping mechanism is calling your name? And why does early recovery sometimes make people more vulnerable to risky behavior and emotional impulsivity? You'll hear strategies for repairing trust, protecting your recovery, and reconnecting with your values — even when life feels like it’s exploded. Sonia also opens up about her own experience with infidelity in her marriage, the fight to stay sober through heartbreak, and the fierce determination to not let someone else's choices take away the life she worked so hard to build. Together, she and Kathleen explore what healing can look like — and what they wish they knew back then about boundaries, self-trust, and choosing yourself in the aftermath. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks and resources. Episode Highlights 00:00 – The story starts with cruise-chaos and questionable onboard sushi 01:55 – A pivot from food poisoning to infidelity and emotional sobriety 02:58 – Emotional sobriety explained — steadiness when life gets messy 04:03 – Cheating as misalignment with values, not a “good vs bad person” label 05:26 – Emotional relapse vs physical relapse, and where infidelity fits in 06:41 – Dishonesty, avoidance, and numbing behaviors as warning signs 07:34 – What staying sober through betrayal actually feels like 08:17 – Accountability as the foundation for emotional recovery 09:08 – How betrayal can trigger old coping urges and emotional spiraling 10:03 – The difference between staying sober and staying emotionally regulated 11:12 – “You won’t take my sobriety too” — sobriety as rebellion and self-protection 12:17 – The dopamine hit of infidelity and temptation in early recovery 13:12 – Pause, play the tape forward, ruin the fantasy (and save yourself) 14:19 – Stumbling doesn't end your recovery — denial does 15:37 – Hyper-vigilance vs healing — and why control isn’t safety 17:45 – Avoiding conflict vs actually repairing the relationship 19:40 – The messy reality of sexual communication after betrayal 20:53 – Sonia reflects on self-blame and impossible expectations 23:40 – Letting go of “if I do everything right, they won’t cheat” 26:22 – A grounding tool for the day after everything falls apart 28:10 – Closing gratitude + a reminder that healing is possible Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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• Hard Truths About Infidelity Part 1

  Infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences in any relationship—and for many, it can also become a turning point. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, hosts Sonia and Kathleen unpack what it really means to stay emotionally sober through betrayal, heartbreak, and healing. Drawing on their own lived experiences and Kathleen’s clinical expertise, they’ll help you understand not only why infidelity happens, but how to navigate the emotional fallout with clarity, self-compassion, and growth. Together, they explore questions many of us have struggled with in silence: What counts as cheating? Is emotional infidelity just as damaging as physical betrayal? Can a relationship ever truly recover from deceit? And how do alcohol, secrecy, and unmet needs complicate our choices—and our healing? From defining betrayal to understanding why it feels so personal, this conversation offers both insight and empathy for anyone who’s been on either side of infidelity. Listeners will learn how infidelity impacts emotional sobriety, the difference between emotional and physical affairs, and how alcohol can blur—but never justify—boundaries. Kathleen breaks down the psychology of betrayal, explaining the roles of trust, attachment, and validation, while Sonia opens up about her own experience of infidelity and what it taught her about resilience, self-worth, and the power of sitting with discomfort. You’ll walk away with practical insights about rebuilding trust, recognizing red flags, and understanding when it’s time to rebuild—or let go. Finally, Sonia shares a deeply personal story about the aftermath of her own betrayal—the shock, the anger, and the white-knuckled early days of staying sober through grief—while Kathleen reflects on what it takes to heal, whether together or apart. Their raw honesty and humor make space for reflection, laughter, and growth, even in the messy middle of heartbreak. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights 00:00 – Sonia and Kathleen kick off with humor and a “dating disaster” red flag story 01:30 – Introducing the topic: why infidelity brings even the strongest to their knees 03:00 – Defining what “infidelity” really means—beyond just sex 04:15 – Kathleen explains deception and secrecy as the real breach of trust 05:45 – Emotional cheating vs. friendship—where’s the line? 07:00 – The danger of fantasy and emotional displacement 08:00 – A lighthearted detour into Jason Momoa and fantasy boundaries 09:00 – Alcohol and infidelity—how lowered inhibitions aren’t the same as lost morals 10:30 – Sonia recalls the difference between blackouts and passing out 11:15 – Why betrayal feels like a personal rejection (and why it’s not about you) 12:00 – The “roommate syndrome” and what makes relationships vulnerable 13:30 – Kathleen explains how discomfort avoidance fuels betrayal 14:30 – Sobriety and infidelity—why staying sober makes you feel more, not less 16:00 – Can good relationships survive cheating? 17:00 – When infidelity isn’t about love, but about lost identity 18:30 – Rebuilding after betrayal—what it really takes 19:30 – The long road back to trust and why it’s often harder than people realize 20:30 – “Punishment mode” after infidelity and the death-by-a-thousand-cuts dynamic 22:00 – Is it ever just about sex? Desire discrepancy and longing for aliveness 23:15 – Esther Perel’s perspective on why people cheat 24:30 – Navigating the recovery process: disclosure, accountability, and trust rebuilding 25:45 – Setting communication boundaries when discussing betrayal 27:00 – Why triggers can reappear years later—and how to respond with empathy 28:00 – When it’s time to walk away with love and clarity 29:00 – The importance of remorse, accountability, and emotional safety 30:00 – Closing reflections and the promise of a follow-up episode on emotional sobriety Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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• The Good Daughter Trap: Guilt, Family & Freedom with Sahaj Kohli

  Bicultural identity, authenticity, boundaries, and belonging — this week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia sits down with award-winning therapist, author, and Washington Post columnist Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy (@browngirltherapy). Sahaj is the author of But What Will People Say: Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love, and Family Between Cultures and host of So We’ve Been Told. Together, Sonia and Sahaj explore how culture shapes our emotional lives and what it really means to honor your identity while protecting your mental health. This conversation unpacks what happens when cultural expectations collide with personal truth. Sonia and Sahaj discuss why “just be yourself” can be harmful advice for children of immigrants, how boundaries sound different across cultures, and why guilt and shame can linger even in healing. They dive into the nuances of bicultural identity, family dynamics, and how recovery and self-discovery intersect when you grow up between worlds. You’ll gain a deeper understanding of bicultural identity, intergenerational trauma, authenticity, and decolonizing mental health. Sahaj explains how Western therapy often misses cultural context and why redefining concepts like boundaries, self-care, and recovery through a collectivist lens can change everything. She shares practical frameworks for discernment, emotional safety, and reclaiming ancestral wisdom in modern mental-health practices. Sonia also shares her personal story of navigating no contact, cultural shame, and the grief that comes with estrangement. Together, she and Sahaj reflect on how to hold compassion for parents shaped by survival, while creating space for your own healing. It’s a candid and heartfelt conversation about identity, duty, and the freedom to choose what wholeness means to you. This is Sisters in Sobriety — the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights [00:00:00] Introduction to Sahaj Kaur Kohli and her work bridging mental health and culture [00:02:00] The origins of Brown Girl Therapy and how identity crises inspired it [00:04:00] Why “boundaries” can feel unnatural in collectivist families [00:05:30] Reframing boundaries as compromise, connection, and care [00:06:30] The myth of authenticity when you live between cultures [00:08:00] Adapting between cultural spaces without losing yourself [00:09:30] The difference between hiding and lying in family systems [00:12:00] When immigrant parents surprise you with growth and empathy [00:13:30] Narrative therapy and rewriting generational family stories [00:16:00] “What will people say?” and the survival logic behind shame [00:18:00] Intergenerational trauma and assimilation through an immigrant lens [00:20:00] Drinking culture, gender, and coping in Punjabi families [00:23:30] How recovery language often excludes cultural context [00:26:00] What culturally responsive recovery could look like [00:29:00] The role of shame across cultures and its impact on healing [00:31:00] What it means to decolonize mental-health practices [00:33:00] When duty is love — and when it becomes control [00:36:00] Setting boundaries and practicing discernment with family [00:39:00] Grieving family estrangement and re-parenting yourself [00:44:00] Redefining self-care as collective and cultural care [00:47:00] What’s next for Sahaj and Brown Girl Therapy Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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• What Science Really Says About Recovery With Dr. John Kelly

  Harvard’s Dr. John Kelly joins Sisters in Sobriety to unpack the science of recovery, language, and what really works long-term. Addiction recovery isn’t a mystery—it’s a science. Dr.Kelly, Professor of Psychiatry in Addiction Medicine and Founder of the Recovery Research Institute at Massachusetts General Hospital. Together, they explore what the data actually shows about recovery, relapse, language, and long-term healing—and how our understanding of addiction has evolved far beyond stigma and shame. Throughout this conversation, Sonia and Kathleen unpack big questions about recovery and remission: Is addiction really a chronic disease—or does that label sometimes hurt more than it helps? How does the language we use—terms like “abuser,” “addict,” or even “clean”—impact recovery outcomes? And what does the evidence say about the effectiveness of AA compared to other programs and modern approaches to long-term sobriety? They talk about key scientific and psychological concepts such as behavioral mechanisms of recovery, language-based stigma reduction, chronic disease framing, psychosocial support networks, and gender differences in relapse and recovery. Dr. Kelly explains why AA remains the most evidence-based recovery tool for alcohol use disorder, how social connection drives sustained remission, and why linking clinical care to community-based supports is critical to long-term success. In the personal story segment, Sonia shares how fear of stigma once kept her from seeking help while she was still a practicing dentist—and how Dr. Kelly’s research validates those fears and offers a new framework for compassionate understanding. Together, they discuss what’s changing in the recovery landscape—from virtual meetings to redefining “recovery” itself—and how science is helping rewrite the story of what healing can look like. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights (Time-Stamped) 00:00 – Sonia and Kathleen introduce Dr. John Kelly, Harvard Professor and Founder of the Recovery Research Institute. 01:30 – Dr. Kelly shares how personal experience drew him to addiction medicine. 03:10 – Why short-term treatment isn’t enough—and the importance of long-term recovery support. 04:20 – Understanding the “chronic disease” model of addiction: when it helps and when it harms. 05:45 – The surprising statistic: 72% of people with substance use disorders achieve sustained remission. 06:50 – How language shapes stigma—why “abuser” versus “person with a substance use disorder” matters. 08:40 – Studies showing clinicians and the public are both biased by the words we use. 10:30 – How self-stigma can lead to treatment dropout and hinder recovery. 12:15 – The neuroscience of addiction: how chronic exposure changes the brain. 14:10 – Why clinicians need better training in screening, coding, and compassionate documentation. 17:00 – Sonia shares her personal fear of seeking help due to professional stigma. 18:20 – What “recovery” really means—and how to define it beyond remission. 21:40 – Dr. Kelly’s analogy of photosynthesis and “psychosynthesis” in human recovery. 24:00 – What decades of research show about AA’s effectiveness and why it works. 26:40 – The difference between process addictions and substance use disorders. 27:40 – AA’s abstinence roots—and how it evolved over time. 31:10 – Who benefits most from AA, and who might need alternative programs. 34:00 – Comparing AA to Smart Recovery, LifeRing, and Women for Sobriety. 39:00 – The science behind why AA works: social networks, coping skills, and self-efficacy. 43:30 – Gender differences in recovery: how AA supports women differently than men. 48:00 – Dr. Kelly’s current research on relapse after long-term remission. 51:00 – His vision for an integrated, wraparound system of recovery support. 54:00 – How to reach the 80% of people with untreated addiction. 56:00 – The future of virtual recovery meetings and what researchers are exploring next. 57:00 – Final reflections on redefining recovery and sustaining remission over a lifetime. Dr. Kelly's Links 🔗 Recovery Research Institute 🔗 Cochrane Systematic Review: Alcoholics Anonymous and Other 12-Step Programs 🔗 Cochrane Author Interview with Dr. John Kelly SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram  

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