Sisters In Sobriety

• Hard Truths About Infidelity Part 1

  Infidelity can be one of the most painful experiences in any relationship—and for many, it can also become a turning point. In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, hosts Sonia and Kathleen unpack what it really means to stay emotionally sober through betrayal, heartbreak, and healing. Drawing on their own lived experiences and Kathleen’s clinical expertise, they’ll help you understand not only why infidelity happens, but how to navigate the emotional fallout with clarity, self-compassion, and growth. Together, they explore questions many of us have struggled with in silence: What counts as cheating? Is emotional infidelity just as damaging as physical betrayal? Can a relationship ever truly recover from deceit? And how do alcohol, secrecy, and unmet needs complicate our choices—and our healing? From defining betrayal to understanding why it feels so personal, this conversation offers both insight and empathy for anyone who’s been on either side of infidelity. Listeners will learn how infidelity impacts emotional sobriety, the difference between emotional and physical affairs, and how alcohol can blur—but never justify—boundaries. Kathleen breaks down the psychology of betrayal, explaining the roles of trust, attachment, and validation, while Sonia opens up about her own experience of infidelity and what it taught her about resilience, self-worth, and the power of sitting with discomfort. You’ll walk away with practical insights about rebuilding trust, recognizing red flags, and understanding when it’s time to rebuild—or let go. Finally, Sonia shares a deeply personal story about the aftermath of her own betrayal—the shock, the anger, and the white-knuckled early days of staying sober through grief—while Kathleen reflects on what it takes to heal, whether together or apart. Their raw honesty and humor make space for reflection, laughter, and growth, even in the messy middle of heartbreak. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights 00:00 – Sonia and Kathleen kick off with humor and a “dating disaster” red flag story 01:30 – Introducing the topic: why infidelity brings even the strongest to their knees 03:00 – Defining what “infidelity” really means—beyond just sex 04:15 – Kathleen explains deception and secrecy as the real breach of trust 05:45 – Emotional cheating vs. friendship—where’s the line? 07:00 – The danger of fantasy and emotional displacement 08:00 – A lighthearted detour into Jason Momoa and fantasy boundaries 09:00 – Alcohol and infidelity—how lowered inhibitions aren’t the same as lost morals 10:30 – Sonia recalls the difference between blackouts and passing out 11:15 – Why betrayal feels like a personal rejection (and why it’s not about you) 12:00 – The “roommate syndrome” and what makes relationships vulnerable 13:30 – Kathleen explains how discomfort avoidance fuels betrayal 14:30 – Sobriety and infidelity—why staying sober makes you feel more, not less 16:00 – Can good relationships survive cheating? 17:00 – When infidelity isn’t about love, but about lost identity 18:30 – Rebuilding after betrayal—what it really takes 19:30 – The long road back to trust and why it’s often harder than people realize 20:30 – “Punishment mode” after infidelity and the death-by-a-thousand-cuts dynamic 22:00 – Is it ever just about sex? Desire discrepancy and longing for aliveness 23:15 – Esther Perel’s perspective on why people cheat 24:30 – Navigating the recovery process: disclosure, accountability, and trust rebuilding 25:45 – Setting communication boundaries when discussing betrayal 27:00 – Why triggers can reappear years later—and how to respond with empathy 28:00 – When it’s time to walk away with love and clarity 29:00 – The importance of remorse, accountability, and emotional safety 30:00 – Closing reflections and the promise of a follow-up episode on emotional sobriety Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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• The Good Daughter Trap: Guilt, Family & Freedom with Sahaj Kohli

  Bicultural identity, authenticity, boundaries, and belonging — this week on Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia sits down with award-winning therapist, author, and Washington Post columnist Sahaj Kaur Kohli, founder of Brown Girl Therapy (@browngirltherapy). Sahaj is the author of But What Will People Say: Navigating Mental Health, Identity, Love, and Family Between Cultures and host of So We’ve Been Told. Together, Sonia and Sahaj explore how culture shapes our emotional lives and what it really means to honor your identity while protecting your mental health. This conversation unpacks what happens when cultural expectations collide with personal truth. Sonia and Sahaj discuss why “just be yourself” can be harmful advice for children of immigrants, how boundaries sound different across cultures, and why guilt and shame can linger even in healing. They dive into the nuances of bicultural identity, family dynamics, and how recovery and self-discovery intersect when you grow up between worlds. You’ll gain a deeper understanding of bicultural identity, intergenerational trauma, authenticity, and decolonizing mental health. Sahaj explains how Western therapy often misses cultural context and why redefining concepts like boundaries, self-care, and recovery through a collectivist lens can change everything. She shares practical frameworks for discernment, emotional safety, and reclaiming ancestral wisdom in modern mental-health practices. Sonia also shares her personal story of navigating no contact, cultural shame, and the grief that comes with estrangement. Together, she and Sahaj reflect on how to hold compassion for parents shaped by survival, while creating space for your own healing. It’s a candid and heartfelt conversation about identity, duty, and the freedom to choose what wholeness means to you. This is Sisters in Sobriety — the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights [00:00:00] Introduction to Sahaj Kaur Kohli and her work bridging mental health and culture [00:02:00] The origins of Brown Girl Therapy and how identity crises inspired it [00:04:00] Why “boundaries” can feel unnatural in collectivist families [00:05:30] Reframing boundaries as compromise, connection, and care [00:06:30] The myth of authenticity when you live between cultures [00:08:00] Adapting between cultural spaces without losing yourself [00:09:30] The difference between hiding and lying in family systems [00:12:00] When immigrant parents surprise you with growth and empathy [00:13:30] Narrative therapy and rewriting generational family stories [00:16:00] “What will people say?” and the survival logic behind shame [00:18:00] Intergenerational trauma and assimilation through an immigrant lens [00:20:00] Drinking culture, gender, and coping in Punjabi families [00:23:30] How recovery language often excludes cultural context [00:26:00] What culturally responsive recovery could look like [00:29:00] The role of shame across cultures and its impact on healing [00:31:00] What it means to decolonize mental-health practices [00:33:00] When duty is love — and when it becomes control [00:36:00] Setting boundaries and practicing discernment with family [00:39:00] Grieving family estrangement and re-parenting yourself [00:44:00] Redefining self-care as collective and cultural care [00:47:00] What’s next for Sahaj and Brown Girl Therapy Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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• What Science Really Says About Recovery With Dr. John Kelly

  Harvard’s Dr. John Kelly joins Sisters in Sobriety to unpack the science of recovery, language, and what really works long-term. Addiction recovery isn’t a mystery—it’s a science. Dr.Kelly, Professor of Psychiatry in Addiction Medicine and Founder of the Recovery Research Institute at Massachusetts General Hospital. Together, they explore what the data actually shows about recovery, relapse, language, and long-term healing—and how our understanding of addiction has evolved far beyond stigma and shame. Throughout this conversation, Sonia and Kathleen unpack big questions about recovery and remission: Is addiction really a chronic disease—or does that label sometimes hurt more than it helps? How does the language we use—terms like “abuser,” “addict,” or even “clean”—impact recovery outcomes? And what does the evidence say about the effectiveness of AA compared to other programs and modern approaches to long-term sobriety? They talk about key scientific and psychological concepts such as behavioral mechanisms of recovery, language-based stigma reduction, chronic disease framing, psychosocial support networks, and gender differences in relapse and recovery. Dr. Kelly explains why AA remains the most evidence-based recovery tool for alcohol use disorder, how social connection drives sustained remission, and why linking clinical care to community-based supports is critical to long-term success. In the personal story segment, Sonia shares how fear of stigma once kept her from seeking help while she was still a practicing dentist—and how Dr. Kelly’s research validates those fears and offers a new framework for compassionate understanding. Together, they discuss what’s changing in the recovery landscape—from virtual meetings to redefining “recovery” itself—and how science is helping rewrite the story of what healing can look like. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights (Time-Stamped) 00:00 – Sonia and Kathleen introduce Dr. John Kelly, Harvard Professor and Founder of the Recovery Research Institute. 01:30 – Dr. Kelly shares how personal experience drew him to addiction medicine. 03:10 – Why short-term treatment isn’t enough—and the importance of long-term recovery support. 04:20 – Understanding the “chronic disease” model of addiction: when it helps and when it harms. 05:45 – The surprising statistic: 72% of people with substance use disorders achieve sustained remission. 06:50 – How language shapes stigma—why “abuser” versus “person with a substance use disorder” matters. 08:40 – Studies showing clinicians and the public are both biased by the words we use. 10:30 – How self-stigma can lead to treatment dropout and hinder recovery. 12:15 – The neuroscience of addiction: how chronic exposure changes the brain. 14:10 – Why clinicians need better training in screening, coding, and compassionate documentation. 17:00 – Sonia shares her personal fear of seeking help due to professional stigma. 18:20 – What “recovery” really means—and how to define it beyond remission. 21:40 – Dr. Kelly’s analogy of photosynthesis and “psychosynthesis” in human recovery. 24:00 – What decades of research show about AA’s effectiveness and why it works. 26:40 – The difference between process addictions and substance use disorders. 27:40 – AA’s abstinence roots—and how it evolved over time. 31:10 – Who benefits most from AA, and who might need alternative programs. 34:00 – Comparing AA to Smart Recovery, LifeRing, and Women for Sobriety. 39:00 – The science behind why AA works: social networks, coping skills, and self-efficacy. 43:30 – Gender differences in recovery: how AA supports women differently than men. 48:00 – Dr. Kelly’s current research on relapse after long-term remission. 51:00 – His vision for an integrated, wraparound system of recovery support. 54:00 – How to reach the 80% of people with untreated addiction. 56:00 – The future of virtual recovery meetings and what researchers are exploring next. 57:00 – Final reflections on redefining recovery and sustaining remission over a lifetime. Dr. Kelly's Links 🔗 Recovery Research Institute 🔗 Cochrane Systematic Review: Alcoholics Anonymous and Other 12-Step Programs 🔗 Cochrane Author Interview with Dr. John Kelly SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram  

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• Feng Shui, Crystals & Biophilic Living with Alejandra Brady

  When it comes to transforming your environment, the energy of a space can be just as powerful as its aesthetics. On this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, we explore how intentional design, Feng Shui, and spiritual alignment can support wellness, recovery, and renewal. Joining Sonia is Alejandra G. Brady—Founder & Visionary of Casa Shui Life, Feng Shui & Biophilic Designer, best-selling author, and energy alchemist. With over two decades in luxury interiors, Alejandra pivoted her career after a profound awakening at age 50, weaving ancient energetic practices into her design work to help clients create sanctuaries that heal, inspire, and uplift. In their conversation, they dive into what Feng Shui really is (beyond the myths), how our homes can impact health, relationships, and creativity, and the subtle yet powerful shifts that make a space magnetic. Together, they explore questions like: What does it mean to “sleep under knives”? Why is the bedroom the most important room for love and rest? How can unused or cluttered spaces block abundance? And how do color, light, and texture play into energy flow? Listeners will walk away with practical takeaways on how to shift their own spaces using intentional placement, the Bagua map, biophilic principles, and crystals. You’ll learn why small choices—like moving an heirloom, clearing out old love letters, or balancing elements with plants and lighting—can have ripple effects in your health, wealth, relationships, and emotional clarity.  Beyond the design tools, Alejandra shares deeply personal stories: her health struggles and surgeries leading up to her 50th birthday, the life-changing consultation with her mentor, and how she became her own first “Feng Shui client.” She recounts the dramatic changes in her own home, her spiritual awakening, and the unexpected calling to write her memoir I Just Can’t Make This Sh!t Up. They reflect with her on how space can heal grief, nurture sobriety, and anchor a new chapter of life with intention and beauty. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights 00:00 – Welcoming Alejandra Brady and her journey from luxury interiors to Feng Shui 02:00 – The health crises at age 50 that became a turning point 04:30 – Her first Feng Shui consultation and the life-changing mentorship that followed 06:15 – Why certification in Feng Shui matters when working with energy 08:00 – How meditation led to writing her memoir and oracle deck 10:00 – The surprising role of silverware under the bed and the connection to surgeries 13:30 – How clearing a client’s old love letters invited in a new partner 16:00 – Bedroom Feng Shui: rest, romance, and relaxation as the foundation 18:00 – The “coffin position” and practical adjustments for better sleep 20:30 – Why single artwork or photos can unintentionally block love 22:00 – Using crystals like rose quartz for love and amethyst for sobriety support 24:00 – Avoiding clutter while integrating crystals intentionally into design 26:00 – Protecting energy as a practitioner with crystals in everyday life 27:00 – Where to source crystals and how to clear them 29:30 – Broken objects, wealth corners, and knowing when to release or repurpose 31:00 – The dramatic story of a client healing after moving a painting of water 34:00 – Literal connections between words (“burnt out”) and home energy 36:00 – Understanding the Bagua map and the nine areas of life it represents 40:00 – How interconnected areas (wealth, career, fame) affect one another 42:00 – Using Feng Shui for both large and micro spaces—even a mattress 44:00 – The importance of keeping unused rooms alive with intention 47:00 – Creating multifunctional rooms that support family and life transitions 50:00 – How colors, textures, and the five elements (fire, water, earth, wood, metal) balance a space 53:00 – Triple-duty design: objects that bring multiple elements into balance 55:00 – Live plants vs. fake plants—what really matters energetically 56:30 – Preserved flowers, sentimental items, and when joy overrides rules 57:00 – Alejandra’s current projects, travel plans, and future online courses Alejandra's Links 📸 Alejandra G. Brady Instagram SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website – Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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• Storytelling, NLP, and Sobriety with Marsha W

  In this episode of Sisters in Sobriety, Sonia and Kathleen dive into the power of storytelling, resilience, and rewriting our lives with special guest Marsha Vanwynsberghe. Marsha is the founder of OUTSPOKEN, a leadership platform designed to help female entrepreneurs rise as global thought leaders through coaching, writing, speaking, and publishing. As an NLP Trainer, six-time Best-Selling Author, and Boutique Publisher, she empowers her clients to rewire limiting beliefs and build confidence. Today, Sonia and Kathleen explore how her unique blend of personal story and professional expertise helps women transform pain into purpose. Together, they unpack what it really means to share your story, the difference between wounds and scars, how emotions live in the body, and why resilience doesn’t mean going it alone. They also talk about the role of subconscious patterns in shaping our behavior, the signals cravings send us, and how practices like NLP and reframing beliefs can shift everything from self-worth to success. Listeners will come away with practical tools for emotional processing, boundary setting, and storytelling. Key takeaways include understanding how emotions last only 90 seconds unless we attach a story, why humor and reframing are powerful tools to loosen old narratives, and how to interrupt negative thought loops with curiosity and new language. You’ll also learn how NLP helps reprogram the subconscious mind so that the conscious goals you set actually stick. On a more personal note, Marsha opens up about her journey through family addiction, living with endometriosis, and how early experiences with shame shaped her emotional landscape. She shares how storytelling became her healing tool, what it took to forgive herself, and how she moved from silence to speaking boldly. Sonia and Kathleen also bring their own stories to the conversation, making this a raw, relatable, and uplifting episode you won’t want to miss. This is Sisters in Sobriety, the support community that helps women change their relationship with alcohol. Check out our Substack for extra tips, tricks, and resources. Episode Highlights 00:01:00 – Marsha shares her transition from kinesiology to coaching and NLP 00:02:45 – Her experience with teen substance abuse and how it changed her family’s story 00:04:10 – The truth about resilience: why it doesn’t mean doing it alone 00:05:30 – How storytelling became a guidebook for others in similar struggles 00:07:15 – Recognizing the generational silence around addiction and shame 00:08:20 – Forgiving herself and reframing past failures 00:09:40 – Difference between telling your story “in it” vs. “on it” 00:11:10 – Wounds vs. scars: why healing requires more than time 00:13:30 – Writing a book while still in the story and how to cope 00:15:10 – Using humor to loosen the subconscious grip of painful stories 00:17:20 – How emotions live in the body and why they last only 90 seconds 00:20:10 – Identifying trigger emotions and patterns 00:23:15 – How unprocessed emotions manifest as physical illness 00:25:30 – Shame, trauma, and how blocked emotions limit joy 00:28:15 – The difference between feeding and feeling emotions 00:29:40 – What happens when people in sobriety stop numbing emotions 00:33:00 – Curiosity as a tool to manage cravings and triggers 00:36:20 – What NLP is and how it rewires subconscious beliefs 00:40:00 – The role of language in reinforcing or breaking down beliefs 00:57:00 – Visualization, manifestation, and acting “as if” Marsha’s Links 🔗 Marsha’s Website 📸 Marsha on Instagram SIS Links 💌 Sisters In Sobriety Substack – where the magic (and the mocktail recipes) happen 📬 Sisters In Sobriety Email 📸 Sisters In Sobriety Instagram 🌐 Kathleen’s Website Kathleen does not endorse any products mentioned in this podcast 📸 Kathleen’s Instagram

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