Bereaved But Still Me

• When Loss Becomes a Gift: Finding Meaning in Grief

  Grief is not simply the absence of someone we love—it can also be the absence of what we deserved but never received. In this profound conversation with counselor and trauma specialist Fonda Miller, we explore the often-overlooked dimensions of loss and healing that shape our emotional lives.Fonda shares a perspective on grief that transforms how we understand our deepest sorrows. Using the striking image of a balanced teeter-totter, she explains how the weight of our grief directly corresponds to the depth of our love—making grief itself a testament to how deeply we connected with what we've lost. "It's a gift," she says, "because what it says is I loved deeply and I was loved deeply."But what about the grief that comes from never having what we deserved? Fonda guides us through understanding childhood trauma as a form of hidden grief that follows people into adulthood, often without recognition. Through powerful metaphors like pressure cookers and release valves, she offers insights into how we can support those carrying these invisible burdens.As a certified Mental Health First Aid trainer who's worked with trauma victims across various contexts, Fonda brings extraordinary wisdom to everyday situations we all encounter. She explains how to notice when someone might be struggling with unprocessed trauma and provides practical guidance for creating safe spaces where healing can begin. The conversation touches on everything from talking to children about death to supporting survivors of trafficking and abuse.Whether you're processing your own grief or supporting someone through theirs, this episode offers compassionate perspectives that honor the complexity of human suffering while providing pathways toward healing. Because as Fonda reminds us, "Everyone is facing something"—and understanding this truth is the first step toward greater kindness in our world.Join us in exploring how grief, in all its forms, connects to our deepest capacity for love and resilience.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

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• Carrying Grief Forward Doesn't Mean Leaving Love Behind

  (00:00:00) Carrying Grief Forward Doesn't Mean Leaving Love Behind (00:00:47) Introduction to Host and Guest (00:02:09) Mother's Cancer Diagnosis and Family Hope (00:04:16) The Hospice Experience (00:10:10) Announcement and Disclaimer (00:10:56) Sister Jackie's Struggle with Alcoholism (00:17:37) Understanding Ambiguous Loss (00:21:31) Finding Joy Amid Grief (00:27:35) Writing About Grief and Loss (00:28:48) Closing Thoughts and Resources Award-winning journalist Dina Gachman takes us on a profound journey through the landscape of loss, sharing how the deaths of her mother from cancer and sister from alcoholism transformed her understanding of grief. With remarkable candor, Dina reveals the unexpected realities of home hospice care—administering morphine every few hours with minimal professional support, experiencing moments of dark humor amidst heartbreak, and feeling the conflicting emotions of not wanting a loved one to die while being exhausted by their prolonged suffering.The conversation explores the concept of "ambiguous loss"—grief experienced not from death but from relationship changes—which Dina encountered during her sister's years-long battle with alcoholism. She articulates how this differs from the anticipatory grief she felt watching her mother's cancer progress, offering valuable insights for anyone navigating complex family relationships affected by addiction or illness.Most powerfully, Dina challenges the common misconception that grief follows five neat stages before we "move on." Instead, she describes learning to integrate grief permanently into her life: "I'm now a person forevermore that carries grief with me every single day, but I have a ton of joy." This reframing offers tremendous hope to listeners feeling overwhelmed by loss, demonstrating how we can honor our departed loved ones while still embracing happiness.Dina's book "So Sorry for Your Loss" emerged from recognizing how uncomfortable most people are discussing grief. She combines personal memoir with journalistic exploration of topics like pet loss, hospice care, and the connection between food and mourning. Her work reminds us that acknowledging grief openly doesn't diminish joy—it creates space for authentic healing and deeper connection with both the living and those we've lost.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

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• BBSM Navigating Trauma and Resilience: Strategies for Hope in Uncertain Times with Hanny Sidis and Toni Alexander

  Imagine living in a war zone, where the constant threat of rocket attacks shapes daily life. This is the reality for Hanny Sidis, an occupational dance and mind-body therapist from Israel. In our conversation, she shares her unique therapeutic approach to processing emotions through movement, even amidst air raids. Alongside her, Toni Alexander, an American author and inspirational speaker, brings her insights into maintaining respectful dialogues across political divides in the U.S. Together, they explore the profound impact of national events on personal and community well-being and offer strategies for resilience through the mind-body connection.Amidst societal chaos, how do we cope with the resulting trauma and stress? We tackle this question by reflecting on the emotional landscape of living in constant alert and insecurity, both in Israel and the United States. From the fear of active shooter drills in American schools to the unyielding stress of life in a conflict zone, our conversation highlights the importance of mental health in times of turmoil. We delve into the necessity of understanding these psychological impacts and discuss the resilience of the human spirit in overcoming such challenges.As we close, we turn our focus to grief recovery, offering guidance and solidarity to those navigating the complexities of loss. With heartfelt stories, Hanny and Toni remind us that moving forward doesn't mean forgetting those we've lost. Instead, it involves cherishing memories while embracing life's journey. Our episode serves as a monthly beacon of solace and community, reassuring listeners that they are not alone. Join us and discover practical strategies to manage trauma and stress in an unpredictable world, fostering hope and resilience along the way.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

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• A Mother's Grief Story: Fiona Kanter on Losing a Daughter to Murder

  Fiona Kanter's journey from heart-wrenching grief to a source of hope and support for others is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. She joins us to share the painful loss of her daughter, Lee Gabriella, and how this tragedy has become a catalyst for her advocacy work in trauma and bereavement. Our conversation oscillates between poignant memories of our daughters' miraculous beginnings and the stark realities of their premature departures, highlighting how these experiences have irrevocably shaped our lives and missions.Parenting is never a straightforward endeavor, especially when raising exceptionally gifted children or spirited teenagers. Through the story of Lee, we explore the unique challenges and joys of nurturing a precocious child who excels in everything from languages to music. However, simultaneously, Fiona reveals the complexities of balancing Lee's intellectual gifts with her emotional development, as well as the profound impact Lee's short life left on those around her. These narratives underscore the delicate balance parents must strike in guiding and protecting their children as they navigate the world.Humor and giving back can be powerful tools in healing, as evidenced by the various initiatives we've embraced following personal loss. From supporting at-risk youth in Jerusalem to equine-assisted psychotherapy and aiding lone soldiers in Israel, our efforts reflect a commitment to community and resilience. Laughter, even amidst sorrow, emerges as a critical component of healing, offering moments of lightness and connection. Our episode promises insights into the transformative journey from grief to action, with the hope of inspiring others who find themselves on similar paths.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

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• From Heartache to Healing: Izumi Favia's Transformation Through Grief

  After the heart-wrenching loss of her young daughter Alyce to a rare cancer, Izumi Favia decided to turn her grief into a guiding light for others. In this poignant episode, we invite you to listen to Izumi's heartfelt story of love, loss, and the profound journey she undertook to rebuild her life. From the unexpected joy of a natural pregnancy to the blissful memories of Alyce's adventurous spirit, Izumi recounts these cherished moments with a raw honesty that touches the core of parental love. Her story is not just about heartbreak, but also about the challenge of facing an unimaginable diagnosis and how she navigated the tumultuous path of treatments and hope.Izumi’s transformative healing offers a beacon of hope to those grappling with similar loss. She shares her personal transformation and the coping strategies that helped her find peace, including journaling, meditation, and eventually becoming a certified coach. This transition allowed her to extend compassion and support to other grieving parents, helping them rediscover joy amidst sorrow. Join us for this conversation that illuminates the resilience of the human spirit and the surprising paths to recovery that can emerge from the deepest depths of grief.Helpful Link Mentioned in this episode:Izumi's website: https://www.izumifavia.comIzumi's book: https://www.amazon.com/Writing-Heal-Izumi-Favia/dp/1961098199Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/bereaved-but-still-me--2108929/support.

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