For The Hayters: The Stories We Survive

Retirement is one of those topics everyone throws numbers at you about. You need a million dollars. You should have six times your salary saved by 50. You should be maxing everything out. And honestly? It makes me want to close Instagram and pretend retirement doesn't exist.
But here's what Alex helped me understand this week: avoiding it doesn't make the problem smaller. It just makes it harder to fix later. So we're actually digging in.
The Solution:
Start now, not "when you make more." A $500/month contribution at 8% gets you $1.75M if you start at 25, but only $745K if you wait until 35. Same money. The difference is time.
Know your real number. The 80% rule and the 4% rule are starting points, not gospel. We walk through what they actually mean and why your number is more situational than the internet wants you to believe.
Build from multiple buckets. 401(k)s, Roth IRAs, traditional IRAs, HSAs, brokerage accounts, Social Security. The strongest plans pull from different tax buckets so you have flexibility later.
Avoid the five big mistakes. Waiting for the perfect time, skipping your employer match, staying in cash too long, ignoring healthcare costs, and assuming Social Security alone will carry you.
Plus, we answer a listener question from Emma, who paid off $170K in student loans and wants to know how to prioritize everything at once. Her situation is a masterclass in juggling goals.
This week's homework: Take 10 minutes to check your retirement accounts, your contribution rates, and your employer benefits. That's it. Awareness is always the first step.
Connect with us:
Join the Live Therapy: Support the show and join our monthly live Q&As at patreon.com/beckyhayter.
Share your story: Email us at info@forthehaters.com to have your financial scenario featured on the show!

Love you, mean it.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: child neglect, addiction, sexual assault, abortion.
You met Kail Lowry at 16, pregnant, on national TV. You never met the girl who came before her. The twenty-some moves, the locked doors, the childhood she spent raising herself long before any cameras showed up. I've known Kail for over ten years and thought I knew her story. I didn't know the half of it. This is part one: the years no one was watching.
Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.
🔹 New episodes drop every Monday!
🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter
🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters
🔹 Submit your story: info@forthehayters.com
🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com
🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

TW: outing, homophobia, sudden death of a parent, complicated grief, body image.
Em was outed at 13 — before she ever got to say the words herself — and spent years being told she was too young to know who she was. This episode is about what it took to stop hiding: coming out for real on her own terms, finding her wife Paige, and building a family the way they wanted it. It's also about loss. In 2024 she lost her mom suddenly, with a thousand things still unsaid between them, right as she was stepping into motherhood herself. We talk about grief that doesn't come with a clean story, the voice from childhood that never fully goes quiet, and what it means to become the parent you needed when you were small.
Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.
🔹 New episodes drop every Monday!
🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter
🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters
🔹 Submit your story: info@forthehayters.com
🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com
🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The second Becks was born, Becky called Alex in a full panic and asked one question: "What account am I supposed to open for him?" Same energy as everyone who's ever Googled "529 vs UTMA" at 11pm. In this episode, Becky admits she had no idea where to even start, and Alex breaks down every kid investment account without making any parent feel like they're already behind.
The Solution
Why the guilt parents feel is real, and why you can't pour from an empty cup (you can borrow for college, you cannot borrow for retirement)
529 plans: strong tax advantages and high contribution potential, but locked into education and penalized for non-qualified withdrawals
UTMA custodial accounts: flexible and not tied to education, but your kid gets full control at 18 or 21, plus the "kiddie tax" and financial aid impacts to watch for
Roth IRAs for kids: decades of tax-free growth, but only if your child has legitimate earned income (sorry, newborns don't qualify)
Brokerage accounts: total flexibility, accessible anytime, and the account Alex and Becky both chose for their kids, with exactly why and how they set it up
What to do if you're not financially stable yet, because there are still free, low-cost ways to start

This week's homework: If you're not stable yet, open a high-yield savings account in your kid's name and funnel birthday and holiday money into it, or just start building money habits at home. If you are stable, pick the ONE account that fits your family, not your friend's seven accounts on Instagram.
Want to ask Alex which account makes sense for YOUR family? Our Patreon members get direct access to her on Discord to ask anything → patreon.com/beckyhayter
Because money is emotional, and you deserve to feel safe with it. Love you, mean it.
Try Fidelity: https://fidelity.app.link/e/zN0pCpYeUZb
Try Monarch: Get 50% off your first year → https://monarch.com/referral/ey3kkk8c7e
Connect with us:
Join the Live Therapy: Support the show and join our monthly live Q&As at patreon.com/beckyhayter.
Share your story: Email us at info@forthehaters.com to have your financial scenario featured on the show!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Trigger Warning: This episode contains detailed descriptions of domestic violence, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and coercive control.
Lauren spent four years inside a relationship that cost her almost everything — her safety, her money, her freedom, and pieces of herself she's still recovering. She left with a one-year-old son, no car, and nowhere to go. What happened next wasn't a clean start. It was a slow, unsteady crawl back toward a life that actually looked like her.
This is what surviving looks like when it isn't pretty.
Interview, narration, and editing by Becky Hayter, with post-production, scripting, and sound design by Emily Nadal.

Don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share to help us continue bringing these stories to light.
🔹 New episodes drop every Monday!
🔹 Join our community! patreon.com/beckyhayter
🔹 Follow us on Instagram: @forthehayters
🔹 Submit your story: info@forthehayters.com
🔹 Grab some merch! beckyhayter.com
🔹 A KILLR Network podcast! killrentertainment.com

If you or someone you know needs support, please visit:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988lifeline.org | Call or text 988
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.