The Best of You

• 184: Stop Running From Anxiety - How to Tell Normal Stress from Unhealthy Anxiety and Find Peace Over Panic

  We spend so much energy trying to silence anxiety. But what if it isn’t an enemy to defeat—what if it’s a signal to understand? This week, Dr. Alison talks with Dr. Bethany Teachman, professor of clinical psychology at the University of Virginia and director of the PACT Lab, about what healthy anxiety looks like, why it’s actually useful, and how to stop letting it run your life.  Dr. Teachman explains how to know when anxiety is becoming a problem and shares practical ways to calm anxious thoughts, build resilience, and approach your fears with curiosity instead of control. She says, “Anxiety is uncomfortable, but it’s not dangerous, when you stop treating it like a threat, it loses its power over you.” You'll learn: The difference between healthy anxiety and unhealthy anxiety How to recognize when your threat response doesn’t match the situation Why trying to “get rid” of anxiety often makes it worse How reframing challenges as opportunities builds resilience Why doom-scrolling keeps us trapped in fear Check out more free resources on anxiety: TYDE (Thriving Youth in a Digital Environment) — A University of Virginia initiative co-directed by Dr. Teachman focused on youth, technology, and mental health. MindTrails — A suite of digital and mobile interventions designed to help people manage anxiety and increase access to care, including.  If you liked this episode, you’ll love:  Episode 129: Understanding Your Anxiety Episode 54: Can I Pray My Anxiety Away? 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Head to moshlife.com/BESTOFYOU to save 20% off plus FREE shipping  *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• 183: The Real Reason You Compare Yourself (and How to Heal It)

  It can happen so fast - you feel grateful one moment, and five minutes on Instagram later you’re suddenly feeling small or behind. But what if comparison isn’t the problem itself, but a messenger? Dr. Alison explores how comparison, when we pause to listen, can actually reveal our deepest longings and lead us back to connection with God, with others, and with ourselves. She explains why comparison is wired into us, what it’s trying to show us, and how to shift from competition to curiosity and compassion. This conversation invites you to slow down, notice what stirs inside you when comparison shows up, and remember: your story is unfolding at its own sacred pace. In this episode, we cover: Why comparison isn’t always toxic, and what it’s really telling you How to move from calibration to condemnation (and back again) The two types of comparison A simple three-step practice to use when you find yourself comparing 📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here  📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email. Other episodes you might like : Episode 37: The Problem with Toxic Thinking Episode 140: If You Struggle with Guilt and Second-Guessing Yourself, This Will Set You Free 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. Black Friday has come early at Cozy Earth! Use my code BESTOFYOU at cozyearth.com to get up to 40% off.  If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• 182: Self-Esteem Culture, Therapy Culture, and the Case for Wholeness in Christ

  When insecurity takes over, most of us double down on self-improvement. But what if freedom doesn’t come from focusing more on yourself - but less? In this powerful conversation, Dr. Alison and author of Free of Me and Gazing at God, Sharon Hodde Miller, discuss the promises and pitfalls of self-esteem culture - and why a bigger story of belovedness, stewardship, and connection sets us free.  We talk about how self-preoccupation doesn’t improve self-esteem, why “just love yourself more” can reinforce the problem, and how beholding God (not abandoning yourself) recenters your life with humility and purpose. In this episode, we cover: Why self-focus can erode your confidence and joy The difference between self-esteem and self-preoccupation What it means to de-center yourself without losing your worth How wounds can masquerade as pride or insecurity The freedom that comes from remembering: you are not the hero of the story Get your hands on a copy of Sharon's books! You can find them here: 📚Free of Me: Why Life Is Better When It's Not about You 📚Gazing at God: A 40-Day Journey to Greater Freedom from Self Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 99: I Shouldn’t Feel Like My Spirit is Broken Episode 67: The Inextricable Link Between Faith & Emotional Healing with Cindy Gao 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• 181: The Healing Power of Safe People (Not Just Safe Spaces)

  What do you do when relationships feels risky after you’ve been hurt, betrayed, or let down, yet you still crave real connection? This week, Dr. Alison is joined by speaker, and author Toni Collier, for a powerful and honest conversation about healing through community and learning how to trust again after deep pain.  Toni shares her story of betrayal and loss, and how she discovered the power of safe people - the kind who can hold your heart without judgment and help you rebuild when life falls apart. Together, they unpack what real friendship looks like and why isolation, while it feels safe, can slowly destroy us. You’ll walk away with language for repair, courage to take off your “strong friend” cape, and practical wisdom for finding (and becoming) the kind of people who can walk with you through both heartbreak and healing. This episode explores: Why healing requires safe people, not just safe spaces How to build a community that can hold your story The difference between isolation and refuge The courage it takes to say, “I need help” The three steps to finding and keeping trustworthy friends You can find Toni’s powerful book here: 📚Don't Try This Alone: How to Build Deep Community When You Want to Hide from Your Pain Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 104: Overcoming the Fear of Vulnerability Episode 76: Finding the Faith & Strength to Move Forward after Loss & Heartache  📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self. If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. Go to shopremi.com/BESTOFYOU and use the code BESTOFYOU  at checkout for 50% off. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍ © 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• 180: When People Push Your Buttons: The Power of Curiosity Over Control With Harvard Psychologist Dr. Stuart Ablon

  What do you do when someone you love - whether it’s your kids, a spouse, or a friend - keeps doing the same maddening things?  This week, we’re tackling how to approach the most frustrating dynamics in any relationship. Dr. Alison is joined by award-winning psychologist Dr. J. Stuart Ablon, founder of Think:Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital, and Associate Professor at Harvard Medical School.  He shares a game-changing mindset shift: most challenging behavior is about skill, not will. If you’ve ever thought, “They just don’t care,” about someone you love, this conversation provides a proven, practical path to real solutions.  This episode explores: The five core skills that drive every behavior The real reason most people struggle How to keep your cool and trade judgment for curiosity The exact words that lower defensiveness fast Why boundaries still matter—and how to set them collaboratively A step-by-step walkthrough of Collaborative Problem Solving in action For more from Dr. Stuart Ablon, check out his many free resources: 💡For free access to an interactive, self-paced course for parents, go to https://thinkkids.org/Self-Paced-Courses/Parent-Caregiver-Course/ Use code: BestofYou 🏥 Think: Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital  📚Changeable: How Collaborative Problem Solving Changes Lives at Home, at School, and at Work Here are some other episodes you might like : Episode 86: Embracing Conflict—Why It's Essential & 4 Simple Ways to Tackle It Episode 70: Mastering the Art of Emotional Intelligence—How to Harness the Power of Your Emotions to Improve Your Relationships 📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here 💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode. Thanks to our Sponsors! Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order! Head to cozyearth.com and use my code BESTOFYOU for 40% off! If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com. *Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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