The Best of You

What if getting “triggered” isn’t the problem… but a signal?

We all have moments where our body reacts fast—your heart races, your defenses go up, and suddenly you’re not responding from your wisest self.

In this episode, Dr. Alison sits down with Dr. Kelly Flanagan to explore what’s really happening in those moments—and how to respond with more clarity, connection, and intention.

Together, they unpack what’s happening behind reactivity and what it looks like to interrupt that cycle in real time.

You’ll learn:

Why being triggered is a normal nervous system response

How to notice your reactions before they take over

The difference between protection mode and connection mode

How to set boundaries without escalating conflict

Why an open heart leads to wiser—not weaker—boundaries

If you’ve ever felt stuck in reactive patterns in your relationships, this conversation offers a grounded, compassionate way forward.

More Resources:

Order Dr. Kelly Flanagan’s new book, The Road Less Triggered.

You can preorder Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul, and immediately receive the first 3 chapters as well as early access to the companion guide!

Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram

Curious what Family Role may have shaped you? Take the Family Role Quiz to learn how you may be showing up in your relationships with others.

Want to hear more like this? Start here:

Episode 203: Staying Close When Connection Feels Hard: The Relationship Skills No One Has Taught You

Episode 180: When People Push Your Buttons — The Power of Curiosity Over Control

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts!


Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!


Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today!


StoryWorth - Give your loved ones a unique keepsake you’ll all cherish for years—Storyworth Memoirs! Right now, save $10 or more during their Holiday sale when you go to StoryWorth.com/BESTOFYOU! 


MOSH - Save 20% shipping plus FREE shipping on the Best sellers Trial Pack or the plant-based trial pack when you visit MoshLife.com/BESTOFYOU.

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Ruth 1:16–18

What’s the difference between love that strengthens your soul and loyalty that slowly erases you? In today’s reflection on Ruth 1, Dr. Alison Cook explores Ruth’s freely chosen commitment to Naomi—and why healthy love never uses guilt, pressure, or control to make someone stay. This episode offers a nuanced look at staying, leaving, agency, and the kind of attachment that is faithful, honest, and free. We explore:

*How to recognize the difference between chosen love and fear-based loyalty

*Why Ruth’s commitment to Naomi is not a picture of codependency

*How secure attachment gives people agency instead of trapping them

*Why guilt-driven love can slowly lead to self-erasure

*When staying can be rooted in freedom—and when leaving may be an act of wisdom

Go Deeper:

Start reading about inner attachment, when you preorder The Secure Soul

Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook

Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Matthew 5:29–30

**Today's devotional is in response to listener requests.** Some Bible passages don’t just make us think—they make our bodies brace. In today’s reflection on Matthew 5:29–30, Dr. Alison Cook offers a compassionate way to read one of Jesus’ hardest teachings without fear, shame, or self-condemnation. This episode explores:

*How fear-based religion can shape the way your body hears Scripture

*What happens in the brain when the amygdala perceives threat

*Why repentance means turning toward love, not turning against yourself

*How God’s holiness always leads us toward healing and wholeness.

Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook

Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Psalm 121:1–8

When life feels uncertain, your nervous system may start scanning for safety—looking for reassurance, protection, or some solid place to land. In today’s reflection on Psalm 121, Dr. Alison Cook explores how God meets us in that vulnerable place as the One who watches over our coming and going. We explore:

*Why your nervous system scans for safety

*How hypervigilance develops

*Why “God watches over you” may take time to feel true in your body

*How dwelling on scripture can slowly retrain your soul toward safety

Go Deeper:

Get my Masterclass "Healing the Wounds that Shape Us" when you preorder The Secure Soul

Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook

Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today's Scripture: Galatians 1:10

Have you ever said yes when something inside you wanted to say no?

In today’s episode, we look at Galatians 1:10 and the hidden cost of living for approval. In this episode, you’ll learn:

*How approval-seeking disconnects you from your own voice

*How early family roles shape your need for approval

*Why the helper, peacekeeper, or responsible one within may still be leading

•How to find your own inner compass instead

Go Deeper:

Take our new Family Roles Quiz!

Episode 147: Making Sense of Your Family Story with Adam Young

Episode 85: The Goal of a Healthy Family & 6 Roles We Take on in Dysfunction

Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook

Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices