The Best of You

What happens to your capacity to trust God when life has taught you to brace for disappointment?

You may still believe God is good. You may know the Scriptures and have walked with Him for years. And yet there can be places inside of you that still struggle to trust His goodness toward you.

This week, Dr. Alison is joined by bestselling author and radio host Susie Larson for an honest conversation about trauma, chronic illness, unanswered prayer, and what it means to keep trusting God when your circumstances remain painfully unresolved.

Drawing from her own experiences with childhood trauma, complicated pregnancies, chronic illness, financial strain, and seasons when God felt silent, Susie shares how she began moving from simply knowing she was saved to actually learning to live as someone deeply loved by God.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

How trauma and disappointment can affect your ability to trust God

The difference between knowing intellectually that God loves you and learning to live loved

Why trusting God isn’t a formula for getting the outcome you want

What Susie means by “contending” for what is true without slipping into striving

The difference between expectation and expectancy

Why trust can sometimes mean fighting for something and other times mean releasing control

How fear and strong emotions can reveal beliefs beneath the surface

Why you don’t have to wait until everything is resolved to begin living with purpose

A simple practice for intentionally receiving and reflecting on God’s love

The invitation isn’t to figure out how to make God give you the ending you hoped for. It’s to become more deeply rooted in His love while the story is still being written.

Ready Susie Larson’s book More Than You Can Imagine: What God Does When You Trust Him

Listen to Susie Larson Live

More Resources:

Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.

Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts!

Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!

AquaTru - Shower Head - Unlock your hair & skin’s true potential with 20% Off AquaTru Shower by using promo code SHBESTOFYOU (yes, the S-H is intentional) at AquaTru.com.

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sexual wounding shows up in so many different ways, and it affects so many men and women.

Maybe something happened that felt off, invasive, confusing, or inappropriate, but you told yourself it wasn’t a big deal. Maybe you’ve never used the words sexual abuse or sexual violation because what happened didn’t fit the picture you had in mind.

In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by trauma expert and bestselling author Dr. Dan Allender for a compassionate conversation about sexual abuse, sexual wounding, shame, trust, and the road toward healing.

Dan explains why abuse is not only about a single event, but about how that event becomes woven into the larger fabric of a person’s story. They explore why so many people minimize what happened, how involuntary body responses can create profound shame, and why these wounds often surface years later in our ability to trust, receive love, hope, and connect intimately with others.

You’ll learn:

What sexual abuse and sexual wounding can look like beyond the narrowest definitions

Why shame can linger long after an experience is over

How abuse affects trust, hope, intimacy, and your relationships

What parents can do when a child shares that something uncomfortable or violating happened

How to approach your story with honesty, compassion, and dignity

Sometimes the first step is simply being willing to say: Something happened that wasn’t okay. And I want to understand how it has shaped me.

To find out more about The Allender Center workshops visit theallendercenter.org/workshops

or email the Allender Center team directly at programs@theallendercenter.org

Read Dr. Dan Allender’s books:

Healing the Wounded Heart

The Deep-Rooted Marriage

More Resources:

Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.

Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts!

Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!

AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today!

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever walked into a room and almost automatically started adjusting yourself?

Maybe you hold back what you really think. You soften your opinions. You make yourself more agreeable. Not because you’re trying to be dishonest, but because some part of you wants to belong.

In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by behavioral scientist and Columbia University professor Dr. Patricia Hewlin to explore the tension between authenticity and belonging.

Dr. Hewlin’s research on what she calls facades of conformity shows that continually suppressing your values and perspectives in order to fit in can lead to emotional exhaustion and disconnection. But the answer isn’t to swing to the other extreme and insist on expressing every part of yourself in every room.

We were made for community.

And we were also made to become fully ourselves.

The goal isn’t to choose one over the other. It’s learning how to love other people without losing yourself in the process.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

Why the desire to belong is a healthy human need

How to tell the difference between wise compromise and self-abandonment

Why staying quiet isn’t always people-pleasing

How your core values can guide what you share, when you speak up, and when you flex

Why “bringing your whole self” doesn’t mean bringing every part of yourself everywhere

How to navigate relationships or workplaces where being fully yourself may come with a real cost

What Dr. Hewlin calls the middle self: authenticity with discernment and accountability

Why true authenticity is inherently relational

Read Staying True to You: Unlock the Power of Your Middle Self and Live With Confidence, Integrity, and Peace of Mind.

More Resources:

Listeners get exclusive access to the first 3 chapters of Dr. Alison’s newest book, The Secure Soul.

Connect further with @dralisoncook on Instagram

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts!

Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!

AirDoctor - Did you know the quality of oxygen you breathe affects your brain which in turn your thoughts? Eliminate 99.9% contaminants in your home with AirDoctor by visiting AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get UP TO $300 off today!

Remi - Start sleeping better with a Remi nightguard and use code BESTOFYOU and get 55% off your purchase. Go to ShopRemi.com/BESTOFYOU and use code BESTOFYOU.

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You love the kids you've been called to care for. You’re grateful most of the time.

But sometimes your hidden feelings are still, well.... complicated.

You may feel frustrated by how much is asked of you, lonely in the load you’re carrying, jealous of other moms who seem to have it easier, or ashamed that motherhood doesn’t always feel the way you thought it would.

In this week’s episode, Dr. Alison is joined by longtime friends, ministry leaders, and authors of the new book Moms on the Way, Kathy Tuan-MacLean and Tara Edelschick for an honest conversation about the complicated emotions moms are often afraid to admit out loud.

Drawing from their research with more than 700 women, they explore why shame and resentment thrive in isolation—and what can happen when we finally bring those feelings into the light.

You’ll learn:

*Why motherhood can become fertile ground for comparison and shame

*What resentment is really telling you

*How to discern between something that is simply hard and something that genuinely needs to change

*How hidden shame and resentment can isolate you from yourself, others, and God

*What to do when these hidden emotions creep in

More Resources:

Connect with Kathy and Tara here.

Get Moms on the Way: Following Jesus Through the Challenges of Motherhood here.

📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here

Don't forget to browse this week's sponsors, who make it possible for me to bring you these resources for free + provide you with additional discounts!

Quince - How you dress affects your mood and you can trust that Quince has you covered in every day sustainable wardrobe staples. Go to ⁠Quince.com/bestofyou⁠ for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!

Aqua Tru - Join 98% of customers who have made their drinking water cleaner, safer, & healthier by visiting AquaTru.com and use promo code BESTOFYOU to get 20% off today!

*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s Scripture: James 3:13–18

How do you know whether the voice guiding you is actually wisdom—or fear dressed up as certainty, responsibility, or discernment? James gives us a very different way to recognize wisdom: not by confidence, volume, or influence, but by the kind of fruit it produces.

You’ll learn:

*Why certainty and confidence can sometimes masquerade as wisdom*How fear can hide underneath control, harshness, or over-responsibility*The qualities James says actually reveal genuine wisdom*Why quiet faithfulness may be more powerful than visible influence*One way to discern the fruit your choices and relationships are producing

Go Deeper: The Best of You Every Day is taking a short break after this week while the Thursday deep-dive episodes continue.

Connect with Dr. Alison on Instagram: @dralisoncook

Join 80,000+ Soul Menders in Dr. Alison’s free email community for ongoing reflection and support.

While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.‍
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices