Tell Me Why You're Here

Lorna is headed for divorce and trying to make sense of what’s happening. As we talk about her volatile marriage and a household in turmoil, she says she feels numb—but then why do I feel so much? As I struggle to find my way through our halting conversation, I begin to wonder whether what we're experiencing together might tell us more than either of us can yet put into words.

As she prepares to leave therapy, Ana has a dream that takes us into uncharted waters. We dive into her conflicting wishes to be admired for her self-sufficiency and to have someone come to her rescue. And when I turn up in not one but two of her dreams, we explore what this might tell us about her readiness to welcome me aboard as her co-captain.

Ana returns with surprising news: things with Jason are going so well that she thinks she's ready to end therapy. But as we explore her reasons for leaving, her reasons for wanting to stay begin to emerge, along with her ambivalence about disappointing me. By the end of our session, saying goodbye turns out to be more complicated than either of us expected.

Ana returns determined to make sure I understand why she has to do everything herself. But when that same struggle emerges between us, we discover that being seen as needing no one can leave Ana feeling strangely dismissed. As she begins to let me see the part of her that does want help, we wonder who she might be if she didn't always have to have the answers.

Ana comes to therapy with her marriage in crisis—but is convinced it's her husband, not her, who needs to be here. He's withdrawn, won't step up, and leaves Ana feeling responsible for everything. As we explore why she is, in fact, here with me, we begin to discover how much Ana both resents and relies on being the one who can handle everything.