10% Happier with Dan Harris

Dan doesn't usually sit in the interviewee's chair — but when journalist and author Allison Gilbert invited him to speak at the 92nd Street Y as part of their Connected Lives series, he said yes. What followed was one of the more wide-ranging conversations Dan has had about his own practice, his own anxieties, and why he's become convinced that inner work divorced from relationships is just selfishness dressed up as self-care. The evening also included a guided loving-kindness meditation — metta practice — that Dan led live with the audience.
They talked about:
Why Dan thinks the meditation world's PR problem has shifted — it's no longer "this is weird hippie stuff," it's "I get it, but I personally can't do it"
The upward spiral: how taking care of your mind improves your relationships, which improves your inner weather, which improves your relationships further — and the "toilet vortex" that runs in the opposite direction
Free-range mindfulness: why brushing your teeth or standing in a grocery line can rewire your brain just like formal seated practice
The self-compassion toolkit — Kristin Neff's three-step practice, distanced self-talk, and why putting your hand on your heart is "cheesy as f*ck" but actually works
Joseph Goldstein's single best question for breaking an anxiety loop: "Is this useful?"
Why micro-interactions — with your doorman, your barista, a stranger on the elevator — are one of the most underrated sources of happiness
Allison Gilbert is a journalist, author, and co-author of The Joy of Connections. She's also designed an app to help people deepen the relationships they already have. She writes and speaks about human connection, grief, and resilience. Learn more at BeingMoreConnected.com.
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Additional Resources: 
Check out Allison's new app at beingmoreconnected.com

This episode is sponsored by:
Notion: Learn more about how Notion can support your business, at notion.com/happier.
To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

Dan doesn't usually sit in the interviewee's chair — but when journalist and author Allison Gilbert invited him to speak at the 92nd Street Y as part of their Connected Lives series, he said yes. What followed was one of the more wide-ranging conversations Dan has had about his own practice, his own anxieties, and why he's become convinced that inner work divorced from relationships is just selfishness dressed up as self-care. The evening also included a guided loving-kindness meditation — metta practice — that Dan led live with the audience.
They talked about:
Why Dan thinks the meditation world's PR problem has shifted — it's no longer "this is weird hippie stuff," it's "I get it, but I personally can't do it"
The upward spiral: how taking care of your mind improves your relationships, which improves your inner weather, which improves your relationships further — and the "toilet vortex" that runs in the opposite direction
Free-range mindfulness: why brushing your teeth or standing in a grocery line can rewire your brain just like formal seated practice
The self-compassion toolkit — Kristin Neff's three-step practice, distanced self-talk, and why putting your hand on your heart is "cheesy as f*ck" but actually works
Joseph Goldstein's single best question for breaking an anxiety loop: "Is this useful?"
Why micro-interactions — with your doorman, your barista, a stranger on the elevator — are one of the most underrated sources of happiness
Allison Gilbert is a journalist, author, and the creator of The Joy of Connections, a book and companion app designed to help people build more meaningful relationships. She writes and speaks about human connection, grief, and resilience. Learn more at allisongilbert.com.
Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here
Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here
Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok
Subscribe to our YouTube Channel

Additional Resources: 
Check out Allison's new app at beingmoreconnected.com

This episode is sponsored by:
Notion: Learn more about how Notion can support your business, at notion.com/happier.
To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris

How to calm down fast with an 'inventory' practice, how to build 'resources' you can call on anytime, and why 'healing' might be the wrong goal to chase. Plus, living with autoimmune disorder, writing as a practice of embodiment, and why white-knuckling isn't worth it.
Johanna Franzel is a teacher, somatic practitioner, educator, and author of the new book Write Yourself Home: A Creative Guide for Living Well in the Body You Have Through Embodied Writing and Movement Practice. She brings both professional expertise and the lived experience of navigating chronic illness for more than two decades. She also writes a Substack called Permission Slips. 
In this episode we talk about:
Why your nervous system stays on high alert for threats that aren't actually there
The three-step "inventory" practice for finding calm in your body, right now
Why calling to mind a "resource" can genuinely shift your physiology
"Presence without scrutiny": the difference between being with someone (or yourself) and staring them down
Why Johanna doesn't love the word "healing" and the word she prefers instead
How to turn your most embarrassing memories into material, not shame
Why the way you talk to yourself matters more than you think
What over two decades with Crohn's disease taught Johanna about self-advocacy and knowing your own margins

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Plus: how to build a village, why your attachment style isn't your destiny, and a two-step method for asking for help that actually works.
Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed therapist and the author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, an instant New York Times best-seller translated into over 35 languages worldwide. In addition, she has authored seven other books, including Drama Free and, most recently, The Balancing Act. A sought-after relationship expert, she has practiced relationship therapy for almost 20 years.
In this episode we talk about:
The difference between healthy dependency and full-blown enmeshment
Why your attachment style is useful information, not a life sentence
Wise compassion versus what Buddhists call "idiot compassion" 
Why you can't force someone else to change, but your own change might be contagious
The "silent agreements" we make in relationships without ever saying them out loud — and how they quietly build resentment
Why over-considering everyone else's needs backfires, and how to actually advocate for your own
How to stop dragging old relationship trauma into brand-new relationships
What to actually do if you feel lonely, or like you don't have enough friends
Related Episodes:
How to Handle Family Drama | Nedra Glover Tawwab
That Rut You're In – This One Word Could Pull You Out | Nedra Tawwab
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Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here!

This episode is sponsored by:
Tonal: Get $200 off your Tonal purchase with promo code HAPPIER at tonal.com.
Warby Parker: Our listeners can buy one pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional pairs at WarbyParker.com/HAPPIER — and using our link helps support the show. #WarbyParker #ad
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Plus: The "hard yes" list, the intentional pursuit of being bad at things (and how that opens doors you didn't know were closed), being "on intimate terms with catastrophe," and optimism as a daily practice. From How To Be A Better Human.

Today we're sharing an episode from another show we love: How to Be a Better Human, hosted by Chris Duffy. In this conversation, Chris talks with actor Yara Shahidi — known for Black-ish and Grown-ish, and now host of The Optimist Project podcast — about what she's learned from building a career and an identity at the same time. Yara explains why she thinks of optimism as a daily practice rather than a fixed personality trait, how a "year of no" eventually led her to build a "hard yes list" of things that reliably bring her joy, and why she's been deliberately pursuing things she's bad at — cartwheels, crochet, the glockenspiel — as a way of staying curious and connected.
It's a thoughtful conversation about purpose, identity, and how to keep growing once you've already achieved the thing you thought you wanted. If you like what you hear, check out How to Be a Better Human wherever you get your podcasts.
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Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here! 
 To advertise on the show, contact sales@advertisecast.com or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris