Mystery Boys w/ Kurt Metzger & Duncan Trussell

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Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. This week the boys refuse to sleep anywhere but inside their walled garden, where it's protected and the critics can't get in. Except one finally did. Comedy writer Seth Simons reviewed Mystery Boys on his Substack, and the boys are calling it a career highlight. They go through the review line by line: Kurt's old Facebook post, his Ukraine joke from his Gas Digital half hour, and the accidental title "Alex Jones Still Has Shooters." Then they offer Seth an open invitation to the show, a writing job, a custom outfit, and a full session with Duncan's new mobile grooming service, oatmeal bath included. Kurt gives a dramatic reading of Seth's poem "Poem After Collapse," and the boys ask everyone to subscribe to his Substack and only say nice things, because Mystery Boys does not harass. From there it's dopamine maxxing and the DoorDash edging app where your food never shows up, Peter Thiel, Trump naming everything America the way Musk names everything X, Kamala Harris explaining the war in Ukraine, and America's latest bomb sale to Israel. The mysteries get darker when Apple patents AirPods that read your brain activity, the boys watch the Davos brain-transparency talk, and they explain why Orwell's 1984 was simple compared to what we have now. Then they investigate whether Candace Owens is a lesbian and run the photo through an AI check (it's not her). Also: the thicc ghost Booh Booty, the physics of ectoplasm, the Tibetan yoga of dream and sleep, Kubla Khan, the rainbow bridge, scientists sending your consciousness through a wormhole, the Montauk Project and the original title of Stranger Things, the lizard brain, Kurt's favorite anime Fist of the North Star, Kurt's movie pitch for Rob Schneider, the Chris Hansen hit piece and why you shouldn't let your kids on Roblox.

This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast.

Mystery Boys File_021

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:55 - Seth Simons, Our Biggest Fan

00:34:27 - Dopamine Maxxing and DoorDash Edging

00:45:55 - Mystery Boys Poem Readings

00:52:31 - Trump's Ultimate Rug Pull

00:55:49 - Kamala Harris Explaining The Ukrainian War

01:02:03 - We Are Giving BOMBS to ISRAEL?!?

01:05:34 - Apple Is READING Your MIND

01:23:42 - Is Candace Owens A Lesbian?

01:29:16 - Proof Of Candace Owens Lesbian?

01:36:39 - The Thicc Ghost, Booh Booty

01:49:13 - Scientists Putting Your Consciousness Through A Wormhole

02:14:30 - Kurps Favorite Anime

02:22:52 - Hand Free Hassidic Gooning

02:25:51 - Kurts Pitch For Rob Schneider

02:30:34 - Chris Hansen Hit Piece
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🎟️ Duncan Trussell Tour: http://duncantrussell.com/tour🎙️ Kurt Metzger Tour: https://punchup.live/kurtmetzger

🦊 Buster (Tanner's Friend From School): https://instagram.com/mysterybuster666

Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. This week Dark James and Jort Preacher open with the news that AGI has arrived: GPT Astra has achieved high-fidelity jiggle physics, and a swarm of rogue AI agents broke loose just to collect more stickers. Then the boys investigate the man duct-taped to his seat on American Airlines Flight 618 and the passenger he allegedly attacked, messianic prophet Jonathan Cahn, who told the 700 Club he sensed it coming because he gets attacked every time he releases a book. Was it demonic, a work, or the thing on the Twilight Zone wing? Then Dark James reveals he's a $418-a-month founder member of the 700 Club, blows out his knee demonstrating the official prayer position, and calls the CBN prayer line to report a prayer injury, which somehow becomes Gary from tech support and an Iranian computer worm. From there it's why Ozempic is fascist, CIA cutouts, Gloria Steinem explaining on camera how the CIA funded her, the Davos musical guest, and the Paris Olympics opening ceremony as a pagan festival. The mysteries get darker with Dark James' family curse of anxiety orgasm disorder, Tibetan sky burials, and the Nutty Putty Cave. Also: Hasan Piker's thirst trap, the jerk burka, Low Tier Normie's "Smash My Face," Dracula's years as a Turkish hostage, Saddam's palace, Chevy Chase in the Comedy Store bathroom, whether Gallagher invented the Ninja Turtles, the Mystery Boys original "Rhino Reynolds, The Scarecrow Of The Cornfield," pimple stars, Justin Bieber complimenting Duncan's beard at a Russian bathhouse, whether Kurt is in the Rogan sphere, and Mystery Buster's furry art.

This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast.

Mystery Boys Ep. 20

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:01:04 - GPT Astra Achieves High-Fidelity Jiggle Physics

00:05:26 - Rogue AI Agents Just Want Stickers

00:09:56 - The Man Duct-Taped On American Airlines Flight 618

00:14:46 - Jonathan Cahn Is The Thing On The Wing

00:21:12 - Hasan Piker's Thirst Trap & Was Flight 618 A Work?

00:30:06 - Dark James Prank Calling The CBN Prayer Line

00:46:03 - The Jerk Burka & Ozempic Is Fascist

00:54:28 - CIA Cutouts & Gloria Steinem Was CIA

01:02:44 - Davos Music & The Paris Olympics Ceremony

01:07:44 - Anxiety Orgasm Disorder & Tibetan Sky Burials

01:13:21 - Buried Alive In The Nutty Putty Cave

01:17:19 - Dracula's Hostage Years

01:21:56 - Saddam's Palace, Chevy Chase & Comedy Store Coke

01:29:12 - Rhino Reynolds, The Scarecrow Of The Cornfield

01:35:22 - Pimple Stars & Justin Bieber At The Russian Spa

01:39:15 - The Rogan Sphere, Mystery Buster, & Closing Prayer
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🎟️ Duncan Trussell Tour: ⁠http://duncantrussell.com/tour⁠

🎙️ Kurt Metzger Tour: ⁠https://punchup.live/kurtmetzger⁠

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Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. This week the King of All Time himself, Alex Jones, puts on the crown and sits down with Captain Chud and the Pancake Man ahead of the Infowars relaunch and his new show, Crashing Out. Alex says the White House sent people to Austin in 2017 to recruit him as the anonymous voice behind Q, then breaks down the 8chan cutouts, Steve Bannon and the Epstein files, Jeffrey Epstein's Trilateral Commission appointment, and why Joe Rogan is one of the only names in the emails who told them to get lost.

Then the boys get into AI. Alex thinks tech billionaires like Sam Altman and Elon Musk are talking to unfiltered AGI deep in the labs and are scared by what it tells them. He predicts a rogue-AI false flag, a crash, and a single "One Ring" AI with a unified central bank ledger. Duncan compares frontier AI to the Radium Girls and Tolkien's Palantir, and brings in John Lilly's solid state intelligence prophecy, where data centers become biomes for a machine mind. Alex also tells the story of an engineer who handed him a secret manual for the Scientific Atlanta cable box with a microphone inside, which leads to smart TVs, Alexa, and the Kenyan contractors reviewing footage from Meta smart glasses.

Also: King Charles' sausage fingers, three security clearances above cosmic, the Onion's fake Infowars studio, Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin in the Upside Down, Lindsay Clancy's old nose, Kurt's deep knowledge of duck anatomy, the band's original hit "My Dick's Too Big For A Hummingbird," Jesus and the pig farmer, the largest micro penis in the world, gnome skin condoms, Peter Nygard, Tony Podesta's art collection, the Holy Diver Kabbalah, bail-ins and the FDIC, the prodigal son, and a forensic zoom-and-enhance investigation into whether Michael Bloomberg has hooves.

This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast.

Mystery Boys Ep. 19

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⁠https://www.instagram.com/kurtmetzgercomedy⁠

⁠https://www.instagram.com/mysteryboyspodcast⁠

⁠https://store.ymhstudios.com⁠

Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:02:53 - Q, 8chan and the Epstein Message Boards

00:07:15 - Is Alex Jones Actually Bill Hicks?

00:09:32 - A Midterm PSA and Arrests in Canada

00:11:13 - Kash Patel, the FBI and the Dog Confession

00:16:28 - Israel, General Flynn and Project Monarch

00:20:29 - Epstein and the Trilateral Commission

00:23:30 - Scientists, Blackmail and Neil deGrasse Tyson

00:26:31 - Alex Names His New Show: Crashing Out

00:35:28 - Duncan's AI Theory: The Warlocks Guild

00:44:38 - The Radium Girls and the Palantir

00:51:02 - Your TV Is Watching You

00:54:37 - An Apology to the Kenyans

00:58:07 - The Onion, the CIA and the Fake Auction

01:04:06 - Alex Jones Has Been Assassinated'

01:07:26 - Why Do They Hate Me?

01:12:26 - Persisting Is the Revenge

01:18:26 - The Google Hive Mind and John Lilly

01:25:25 - Lindsay Clancy and the School Shooter Pills

01:28:25 - So What Is Satanism, Really?

01:35:35 - Duck Pussies: Another Mystery Solved

01:52:02 - The World's Largest Micropenis

01:54:02 - Does Michael Bloomberg Have Hooves?

02:09:29 - The Unified Ledger Endgame

02:22:32 - Alex's Closing Sermon and the Infowars Relaunch
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🎟️ Duncan Trussell Tour: http://duncantrussell.com/tour🎙️ Kurt Metzger Tour: https://punchup.live/kurtmetzger🎤 Follow Dave Smith: https://www.instagram.com/theproblemdavesmith/?hl=en🎤 Follow Dr. Heather Lynn: https://www.instagram.com/DrHeatherLynn/

Check out Hoop and Huddle, YMH Studios' new comedy sports show, hosted by comedians Luke Touma & Nate Marshall. Two friends talking basketball, football, and whatever ruined their weekend. Less "analysts breaks down the tape," more "your boys yelling at the TV." https://www.youtube.com/@HoopandHuddle

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Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. This week comedian Dave Smith of Part of the Problem sits down with the boys and immediately gets handed a Certificate of Appreciation printed on important government paper, which leads to Frank Abagnale being a liar, why you can buy a doctorate at Staples, and the Turkish human trafficker who became Santa Claus. From there the investigation runs through the Lindsay Clancy case as an MKUltra distraction, school shooter pills and SSRI onboarding, the Pulse nightclub shooting as blowback, the Daily Wire's latest romp Run Hide Fight along with the new Zionist propaganda pivot, Tucker Carlson's nicotine pouches, Courtney Love's dad, the CIA's fav Bohemian Grove, plus, the Prussian origin of compulsory school, kindergarten, and the Bellamy salute.

Then the boys make Dave take the American Jewish Committee's online anti-Semitism quiz live on camera, and he finishes at a comfortable four out of ten. The mysteries get heavier when historian and author Dr. Heather Lynn calls in to lay out the symbolic reading of the Butler shooting and the Charlie Kirk killing: the pierced right ear of the Hebrew servant in Exodus 21, priestly consecration of ear, hand and foot, Chabad Lubavitch as an intel cult, Masonic passion plays, Albert Pike, the Blue Lodge, and why 33 is everywhere. Dr. Lynn also dismantles Zecharia Sitchin and the Anunnaki, the Sumerian problem, cuneiform as a language isolate, the Shining Ones, the black-headed ones and the red ocher people, the Sumerian Noah and his breakaway civilization, the Younger Dryas, and the Garden of Eden read as an ancient slave revolt.

Also: Dolly Parton's letter to Eminem, Eminem's alleged descent from Golden Dawn magician Samuel Liddell MacGregor Mathers, Roseanne Barr at Thanksgiving, Sabbatai Zevi and the Frankists, the Haitian Revolution as a Freemason project and Haiti paying reparations to France until 1985, Prince Hall Freemasonry, Joe Rogan's Alpha Brain ingredient list, the TikTok Shop selling suppressors as kitchen utensils to Tanner, Hypno Dolly, the Lockheed Martin video game, Northrop Grumman leaking specs on Discord, and the new Mystery Boys supplement, Beefzos.

This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast.

Mystery Boys Ep. 18

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Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:04:42 - The 'Zalom' bit (Kurt's Grok-made Hebrew)

00:06:15 - Balaam and the talking donkey

00:07:35 - The Lindsay Clancy case + the Candace Owens / Andrew Wilson debate

00:16:37 - Pulse nightclub and blowback

00:21:57 - The Zionist-propaganda pivot

00:34:43 - Kurt's doomsday-cult upbringing

00:36:48 - School was invented in Prussia

00:40:05 - Reading Dolly Parton's letter to Eminem

00:42:51 - Roseanne stories

00:48:35 - The AJC 'Translate Hate' antisemitism quiz

01:02:50 - Dr. Heather Lynn on the Butler shooting

01:10:49 - Epstein files, Charlie Kirk, and 'positive evidence'

01:16:19 - Crowley's Liber 4, theatrics, and the 33s

01:21:08 - Haiti, Prince Hall Freemasonry, and the only successful slave revolt

01:24:48 - The Anunnaki and Zecharia Sitchin

01:38:27 - The Garden of Eden, Enki, and the tree of life

01:42:32 - Tanner's targeted ads: Hypno Dollar and the TikTok Shop

01:49:36 - Defense-contractor video games and Discord leaks

01:50:56 - Reading the Alpha Brain ingredients

01:54:53 - Kars4Kids and the Andrew Wilson GoFundMe
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Neil deGrasse Tyson vs. the moon landing. Welcome to Mystery Boys, the podcast from YMH Studios hosted by Kurt Metzger and Duncan Trussell. This week, Expert to Expert convenes and the astrophysicist and StarTalk host calls in to answer the only questions that matter: what exactly is the universe expanding into, would aliens find us hopelessly ugly, and how big does your ego have to be to think an alien crossed the galaxy just to probe you. Duncan pitches him Wet Goddess, the novel about a man who dated a dolphin, and Neil writes the title down. The investigation runs through his new book Lost In Space: 5,000 Facts for Navigating the Universe, neutrinos arriving at IceCube from the wrong direction, whether there is any real difference between top secret science and published science, Barbenheimer, the sea rising to the Statue of Liberty's left elbow, the James Webb Space Telescope finding galaxies that formed too early, rods from God, micronovas and lost civilizations, and the elephant nobody would believe in either.Then it turns adversarial. Kurt tells Neil deGrasse Tyson that "NASA doesn't lie" is a false premise, Duncan reads him the part about the Apollo 11 telemetry tapes being erased and reused, and Neil explains why he does not argue with conspiracy theorists and asks the boys to stay in their lane. He signs off. The Mystery Boys award him the Official Mystery Voice Science Award anyway, in absentia, and then the episode leaves the atmosphere: Devon Galore's mirror song, Kurt Debus and the rocket men who built the American space program, a Florida man and his flock camera, pre-trigger as a new medical condition, how to summon a succubus, the diaries of Marvin Minsky and Erwin Schrödinger, and a full descent into PSL scores, looksmaxxing, bone smashing, blackpill mathematics and Low Tier Normie.

Also: UAP hearings and why nobody will just bring out the alien, Take Me to Your Leader as toilet reading, whether Neil deGrasse Tyson would take acid, why you can only kiss yourself on the lips, the interview gets graded by the two people who conducted it, and Buster ruins the outro.

This is not a conspiracy podcast. This is a mystery appreciation podcast.

Mystery Boys File_017

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Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro

00:00:22 - Welcome Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson (not Mike)

00:01:09 - What is the universe expanding into?

00:02:59 - Lost in Space + Take Me To Your Leader

00:09:45 - The abduction/probing theory

00:11:54 - Science communicators vs. witch burners

00:19:52 - Neutrinos, IceCube and the wrong direction

00:23:12 - Top secret vs. published science

00:26:46 - Barbenheimer

00:27:27 - NASA doesn't lie' — Kurt vs. Neil

00:32:07 - The missing moon landing footage

00:34:35 - Why Neil won't argue with conspiracy theorists

00:39:56 - Micronovas, solar dust and lost civilizations

00:42:46 - James Webb's too-early galaxies

00:45:52 - Rods from God

00:48:35 - Are earthquakes speeding up?

00:50:13 - How does the world not end in five years?'

00:52:09 - The surveillance state

01:02:41 - Neil signs off

01:03:19 - The award we forgot to give him

01:07:42 - Kurt Debus, the first head of NASA

01:08:42 - The Florida flock camera guy

01:11:01 - Pre-trigger — a new condition

01:21:05 - Marvin Minsky and Schrödinger's diaries

01:24:03 - PSL scores and looksmaxxing

01:30:29 - Blackpill, bone smashing and the Clavicular doc

01:34:34 - Personality still counts

01:35:07 - Low Tier Normie

01:39:19 - We converted Neil deGrasse Tyson'

01:40:58 - Outro / Buster

01:43:34 - Sign-off + credits
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