Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

• A Hole Is A Hole w/ Tony Johns | Your Mom's House Ep. 804

  Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Learn more about Lightstrike at https://Drinklightstrike.com or follow on TikTok and Instagram @‌drinklightstrike. For their buy 1 get 1 50% off deal, head to https://3DayBlinds.com/YMH. A hole is a hole, partner! These are the famous words of the modern day Dirk Diggler, Mr. Tony Johns who drops in for this week's YMH! Before Tony calls in, Tom and Christine talk about their trip back from the UK, which included a visit to the Tower of London, where the kids were eager to see the torture devices. Tom’s also reveals he has evolved into a guy who shits on airplanes after turning 40. He shares stories about playing in Madison Square Garden, where Redman, Chrissy D, and Joey Diaz opened for him on an unforgettable night. They also talk CP’s desire for Bauhaus to open for her, Big Dad Energy, and shout out London’s food scene while criticizing Europe’s shitty public toilet situation. They then finally get to the opening clip featuring the phrase “Grippy Garfield”, which you'll have to watch and find out about on your own. They also discuss overweight flight attendants, the Baldwins being cringe once again, a schizo lady in a Canadian government conspiracy, the family cloth, and a hot chick farting for content. Oh, also “BREED” makes an appearance, and Tom is so excited to cover the latest Tony Johns drama, recalling all of his recent chaotic moments. Tony Johns next joins the show and talks about dealing with a bully coworker at Walmart, a scary landlord, and his OnlyFans ventures, including his film debut in the works featuring Alexis Fawx. Finally, Tom wraps the insane episode up by mocking a racist white lady’s wedding speech at an interracial marriage. Wooooo come on wit it! Your Mom’s House Ep. 804 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:52 - UK Trip, Big Dad Energy, & Plane Poopies 00:07:20 - Madison Square Garden 00:13:36 - European Public Toilets 00:15:57 - Opening Clip: Grippy Garfield 00:23:26 - Fat Flight Attendants 00:29:59 - Those Damn Baldwins 00:37:50 - Schizo Evelyn Montage 00:40:18 - Clip: Family Cloth 00:41:35 - Clip: Farting Baddie 00:44:20 - The Life & Times Of Tony Johns 01:01:32 - Tony Johns Sets The Record Straight 01:09:12 - More Wild & Crazy Stories 01:16:47 - Making Dreams Come True 01:21:33 - Clip: Cone To The Face 01:22:09 - Clip: Dumb Push-ups 01:22:38 - Clip: Well Done Ribs 01:23:12 - Cool Guy Collabs 01:24:56 - Shitty Wedding Speech 01:33:38 - Wrap Up 01:35:30 - Closing Song "I Got A DUI, Baby" by grasskingdoms & Fart Simpson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  1:40:37
• Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803

  Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at https://mintmobile.com/mom. Go to http://LiveGood.com/YMH to save 10% on your first order. Go to https://shopify.com/momshouse to upgrade your selling today. This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina welcome anti-aging expert and biohacker Bryan Johnson to talk about the ultimate goal: not dying. Bryan breaks down his "Don’t Die" program, which involves everything from hyperbaric chambers, drinking lots of olive oil, and shock waving your penis. Before Bryan joins in, Tom and Christina open the show by clowning on some rich guy influencers and check out some of Hilaria Baldwin’s unhinged reality show. Next, Bryan enters the Mommy Dome and briefs Tom and Christine on his entire lifestyle process, plus he even even gifts them some of his special olive oil. Tim and Kirsten also grill Bryan on some other crucial health hacks include coffee enemas, sharpening your own "sword", and piss drinking. They also touch on Bryan’s Mormon upbringing, his secrets for a better night' sleep, and whether owning a jet is actually worth it. If you want to live forever watch this episode ya chomo! Your Mom’s House Ep. 803 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:04:48 - Opening Clip: Psychotic Roofing Conference 00:07:39 - Clip: Who Is This Dangerous Guy? 00:08:50 - Clip: Fancy Trainer 00:10:43 - Clip: Fired A Client 00:12:01 - Clip: Cool Dudes On A Plane 00:24:23 - Hilaria Baldwin 00:34:18 - Bryan Johnson Won't Die 00:43:03 - Anti-Aging Secrets 00:48:58 - Clip: Urine Therapy 00:51:28 - The Father, Son, & Holy Pineal Gland 00:56:57 - Diet & Olive Oil 01:06:23 - Hyperbaric Chambers 01:12:28 - Fun Stuff & Tom's Routine 01:18:24 - Clip: Coffee Enema Queen 01:19:55 - Clip: Rub, Rub, Rub 01:24:00 - Shockwaving Peeners 01:27:53 - Bryan's Personal Life 01:33:26 - Cool Rich Guy Stuff 01:40:04 - Dying Is Dumb 01:50:14 - Closing Song - "Piss On Me Beat Me" by Zach Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  1:53:55
• Dumbest Shark Tank Pitches w/ Mark Cuban | Your Mom's House Ep. 802

  Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour Interested in learning more about Mark Cuban's company? Visit http://CostPlusDrugs.com to find out more! SPONSORS: Check out the full lineup and get 15 percent off your first order at https://TRUEWERK.com/ymh. Go to https://shopify.com/momshouse to upgrade your selling today. Secure your online data TODAY by visiting https://ExpressVPN.com/ymh Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. This week on Your Mom’s House, Robert Smith and Christina P are joined by billionaire entrepreneur and Shark Tank legend Mark Cuban. Tom and Christina are STILL hyped after YMH Live X and recap more of the insanity from that legendary night. Tom next opens the show with an unhinged clip of an old man who hasn't been laid in 30 years, before he brings up his tradition of texting Joe Rogan horrifying death videos. Other highlights include a Hulk Hogan steamer situation, a bizarre Kanye tattoo on an Asian guy, and a deep dive into Charles Manson documentaries. The one and only Mark Cuban joins the pod, and things get real. Mark opens up about selling the Mavericks, what it’s like to trade a generational talent like Luka Dončić, and why checking his bank account makes everything better. He spills secret rich guy knowledge (like how money makes ugly people attractive), explains why he’s not a yacht guy, and hilariously pitches Tom on buying a private jet. Mark also talks about being a public dad, his love for working, and why he’s obsessed with the future. He breaks down Shark Tank—from the dumbest pitches ever to surprising success stories like Dude Wipes—and how he’s wrong half the time when investing. The conversation gets even wilder as Mark shares thoughts on hunting Somali pirates, his late-night Twitter beefs, AI, NBA rule changes, and why he’s all-in on healthcare reform with http://CostPlusDrugs.com. Don’t miss it, Jeans! Your Mom’s House Ep. 802 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER, (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT) or visit http://www.mdgamblinghelp.org (MD). 21+ and present in most states. (18+ DC/KY/NH/WY). Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). 1 per new customer. $5+ first-time bet req. Max. $200 issued as non-withdrawable Bonus Bets that expire in 7 days (168 hours). Stake removed from payout. Terms: http://dkng.co/dk-offer-terms. Ends 3/30/25 at 11:59 PM ET. Pick6 not available everywhere, including, but not limited to NY and CA-ONT (for up-to-date list of jurisdictions please visit pick6.draftkings.com/where-is-pick6-available). Sponsored by DK. Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:29 - YMH Live X Still Got Us Hyped 00:10:19 - Opening Clip: Hard Time Getting Hard 00:17:15 - Heavy Reactions 00:21:07 - Deep Diving The Opening Clip 00:24:52 - Clip: A Hulk Hogan Steamer 00:28:33 - Christina P Trashes Meghan M 00:42:48 - Clip: Decent Footjob Review 00:44:49 - Clip: Cool Kanye Tattoo 00:45:39 - Charles Manson 00:53:56 - Mark Cuban Talks Mavs & Luka Doncic 01:00:42 - Secret Rich Guy Stuff 01:08:31 - How To Win At The Sport Of Business 01:14:51 - Dumb Shark Tank Pitches 01:22:33 - Putting Your Kids On The Right Path 01:28:22 - Personal Stuff & Somali Pirates 01:34:31 - AI & The Future Of Podcasts 01:43:01 - Changing The Game 01:47:45 - Mark Cuban's Favorite Things 01:55:47 - Closing Song - "Pussy Glassin" by Lady Money Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  1:58:49
• Andrew Schulz Is Gay Now | Your Mom's House Ep. 801

  Missed YMH Live X? Witness our BEST Live yet at https://livestream.ymhstudios.com/ Get tickets for Tom’s Come Together Tour at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: Go to http://helixsleep.com/YMH for 20% Off Sitewide. Try VIIA! https://viia.co/YMH and use code YMH! Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com! Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code YMH -- just pay $5 shipping. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/MOM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code MOM. In this jam-packed episode of Your Mom's House, Tom and Christina welcome the one and only Andrew Schulz! Before Schulz joins the Main Mommies, we open the show with a cool gal talking some shit about her jealous mom, before Tom shares his deep affection for Chicago, and Christina reflects on her steamy sex dream where she and Tom were both Black (yes, you read that right). They also celebrate the return of YMH Live X, discuss an outrageous encounter with a fat and gay flight attendant and react to some truly mind-blowing clips—including a loser who's married to a mannequin. Andrew Schulz next joins in and opens up about his new comedy special, LIFE, his approach to storytelling, and his exciting journey into fatherhood. Things get real as the group shares miscarriage horror stories, blending raw honesty with some dark laughs. The chaos continues with a deep dive into Temptation Island Spain, the internet sensation Montoya, the wild content on the Zeus Network, and some guy named Aaron the Plumber who fights transwomen. Don’t miss it, Jeans! Your Mom’s House Ep. 801 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:00 - Opening Clip: Jealous Mom Hate 00:00:00 - YMH LIVE X 00:00:00 - Chicago 00:00:00 - Christina's Hot Black Dream 00:00:00 - Black Hawk Down/What Jennifer Did 00:00:00 - The Fattest And Gayest Flight Attendant 00:00:00 - 50 Year Old Loser 00:00:00 - Andrew Schulz & Pregnancy Horror Stories 00:00:00 - Tom & Christina's Kids 00:00:00 - Comedic Scene Shifts 00:00:00 - TradWife Trend 00:00:00 - Dad Things 00:00:00 - American Stand Up & Storytelling 00:00:00 - White Loyalty & Wu-Tang Favors 00:00:00 - Just Dudes Telling Dudes Stories 00:00:00 - Temptation Island Spain 00:00:00 - Aaron The Plumber Fights People 00:00:00 - Sam's Tailor 00:00:00 - Wrap Up 00:00:00 - Closing Song - "WTF Is Eco-Sex" by Gaping Dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  2:06:45
• The High and Tight 800th Episode | Your Mom's House Ep. 800

  YMH Live is back and better than ever! Tune in March 7th at https://livestream.ymhstudios.com/ Touch our camera through the fence, chomos! SPONSORS: - Ready to take control of your money? Head to https://acorns.com/YMH or download the Acorns app to get started. - Trade is exclusively offering our listeners 40% off your first order at https://drinktrade.com/YMH. On this special episode of Your Mom’s House, we celebrate 800 episodes of the podcast that birthed Studio Jeans. On today’s show, we take a look at some highlights from the last one hundred episodes such as Fart Gate, Nadav’s passing, Stavros reacting to Norm’s poutine, and the Enny vs Ryan basketball rivalry. We also look back at Dan Soder’s Chapelle impression, Caitlin Campbell’s daily vlog, ICP’s YKWIS supercut. Other topics include: Garth Brooks, Robert Smith, Bryce Mitchell, Andy Milonakis, Candace Owens, and Alec Baldwin’s new reality show. Here’s to 800 more! Enjoy. Your Mom’s House Ep. 800 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://christinap.com/ https://store.ymhstudios.com https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:05:29 - Opening Clip: Footjob Review 00:09:17 - Clip: Be Young & Ruin Things 00:14:18 - YMH Civil War: Ryan Vs Enny 00:28:05 - Stavros Reacts to Norm's Poutine 00:31:50 - Garth Brooks, Dan Soder's Chapelle Impression, & Robert Smith 00:39:15 - Nadav's Passing & Caitlin Campbell 00:46:14 - ICP YKWIS Supercut & Airtight Abby 00:50:28 - Fart Gate 00:58:44 - Ice Cold Pepsi, Bad Haircuts, & Bryce Mitchell 01:09:48 - Alec Baldwin Reality TV & Candace Owens 01:17:09 - Episode 800 Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  1:21:36

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