The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast

Somehow the phrase “Big Beaver” isn’t even the weirdest thing you’re about to hear...
Rizz recently made his first trip to Buc-ee’s and came away impressed by the size, the amount of stuff and… well, that’s about it. But the beaver empire definitely gets more enthusiastic when somebody messes with its logo.
The crew discusses Buc-ee’s legal battle with an apparel company accused of using its famous beaver on military-style merchandise, resulting in an $850,000 settlement according to the story discussed on the show. That leads straight into John Oliver trolling “Big Beaver” with parody merchandise, Lern buying the socks, and a debate over the difference between legitimately protecting your trademark and unleashing corporate lawyers on every tiny beaver within driving distance.
That would already be plenty for a normal comedy podcast. Unfortunately, nobody here has ever been interested in normal.
Next comes the Rizz Quiz, where six callers are given extremely difficult questions such as “What ocean borders California?” and “What color is on the bottom of a traffic light?”
The results are devastating.
California gets relocated to the Atlantic Ocean.
The Great Red Spot moves to Mars.
One father celebrates his son’s 11th birthday by revealing he thinks a millennium is 100 years.
And during a playoff, Justin is asked what COUNTRY is directly north of Mexico.
His answer?
Alaska.
Not the United States.
Alaska.
The crew is forced to explain that this is no longer merely a geography problem.
Mark eventually survives the educational apocalypse and wins the contest, while an Empire State Building tiebreaker gives the people in the studio their own opportunity to demonstrate that estimating the size of famous buildings is apparently impossible.
From there, we move into accommodations.
Lern was supposed to stay at a Dolly Parton-themed hotel while traveling for the Foo Fighters, but shortly before the trip she learned the hotel still wasn’t ready. The staff offered to help with alternate accommodations — because that’s the Dolly way — and Lern eventually landed in an Airbnb.
Which leads directly to one of the most romantic vacation ideas ever discussed on the show:
Buffalo Bill’s house from The Silence of the Lambs.
Yes, you can stay there.
The crew discusses the house in Perryopolis, Pennsylvania, a town name that immediately gets roasted before anyone can even focus on the serial-killer-themed vacation rental.
The house goes ALL IN.
There’s a recreated basement well for pictures, horror memorabilia, hundreds of horror movies, an arcade, a pool table and a motion-activated disco ball that plays “Goodbye Horses.”
Apparently people have even proposed inside the well.
Nothing says lifelong commitment like asking someone to marry you while recreating one of the most disturbing basements in movie history.
And somehow several members of the show are completely willing to sleep there.
Devon may already be in the well.
Then the crew heads to karaoke, where the crew runs through songs you should probably never attempt unless humiliation is specifically why you left the house.
“I Will Always Love You.”
“Bohemian Rhapsody.”
“Dream On.”
“Take On Me.”
“Chandelier.”
“Somebody to Love.”
“Chop Suey!”
Lern and Rafe argue that bad karaoke is actually better because nobody wants to spend their night watching aspiring Broadway performers flawlessly execute songs like they’re trying to get discovered between Jägerbombs.
Rizz treats karaoke like The Voice.
Moon has standards.
And the show discovers Alan Ritchson can sing, because apparently being Jack Reacher wasn’t enough and this man needed additional talents just to make the rest of us feel worse.
Then Crap on Celebrities takes the wheel with Benny Blanco relationship talk, Ella Langley, Kacey Musgraves, Stevie Nicks, Black Sabbath, Metallica and the revelation that Oprah is heading to the Sphere.
Initially, the room has questions.
Many questions.
Then Moon learns Jacob Collier is involved and suddenly transforms into Oprah’s newest ticket salesman.
The episode also detours through movie songs, Dirty Dancing, Titanic, Frozen, Fievel and the eternal question of whether certain movie themes are masterpieces or crimes against speakers.
And then the crew walks into the room carrying a pharmacy.
Rafe arrives surrounded by cold and allergy remedies because he feels something coming on and absolutely refuses to get sick. Rizz recommends chicken soup — “Jewish penicillin” — while the crew starts comparing all the exciting new ways their bodies hurt for absolutely no reason.
That becomes a discussion of bizarre sleeping positions.
Lern sleeps on her stomach with a hand underneath her pelvis.
Moon sleeps like a vampire in a coffin.
Rafe routinely wakes up with entire arms completely dead and rubs his feet together like Jiminy Cricket.
Everyone is doing great.
From there we get Mary Kay nostalgia, pink Cadillacs, old-school home sales parties and Rafe remembering an early comedy gig where part of the compensation came in a deeply unconventional swag bag. We’ll leave it at that. YouTube a has rules.
The comedy podcast then moves into fitness, where the crew discusses the famous 10,000-steps goal and a conversation about walking pace before discovering Hyrox — a standardized fitness competition involving running and workout stations. Sounds healthy. Sounds inspiring. Sounds like a great way to improve yourself.
Then the show discusses a Hyrox race in Beijing where a 22-year-old Australian competitor reportedly suffered a severe bowel accident during the competition…
…and kept going.
She won.
The crew cannot believe what they’re hearing.
The controversy becomes less about competitive toughness and more about the fact that Hyrox involves shared workout stations, meaning everybody behind her suddenly had a problem they absolutely did not include in their training program.
“A win is a win” becomes the philosophy of the day.
Unfortunately, the bathroom content is not finished.
The show also discusses an alleged neighbor dispute involving a bucket of human waste, proving once again that some people handle relationship drama with communication while others apparently choose biological warfare.
Then air travel joins the nightmare.
The crew discusses disruptive airplane passengers, Moon’s frustration with constant in-flight entertainment interruptions and pilot announcements, and a flight attendant’s warning that some passengers reportedly change baby diapers directly on airplane tray tables.
Yes.
The tray where your pretzels go.
Congratulations. You will now wipe that thing down until the plastic changes color.
Follow The Rizzuto Show → linktr.ee/rizzshow for more from your favorite daily comedy show.
Connect with The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast online → 1057thepoint.com/RizzShow.
Hear The Rizz Show daily on the radio at 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio in St. Louis, MO.

Can’t Hit 10,000 Steps? How Fast You Walk May Matter More
Hyrox: The Fitness Race
Diarrhea-soaked Hyrox athlete divides internet over whether she should have quit
Miami woman threw bucket of poop on neighbor she accused of sleeping with husband, cop says
Vehicle with 'FAT CHICKS ONLY' text sought in investigation
Las Vegas tourist loses $32K after hot tub night with two women
Female passenger undresses on American Airlines flight, engages in 'indecent acts,' crew reports
Flight attendant reveals vile reason why you should never eat off plane’s back-seat tray tables
U.S. officials declare an end to record-setting cyclospora outbreak, but its origin is still unknown
Stay | The Silence of the Lambs Film Location
What Stevie Nicks Learned On Her Sobriety Journey
Oprah Winfrey wants you to reach your ‘AHA’ moment at the Sphere
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Nothing says happy birthday quite like Jeremy Piven telling Rizz he’s really, really glad he was born.
And nothing destroys that warm birthday feeling faster than immediately discussing aggressive beaver litigation.
Welcome back to The Rizzuto Show.
Rizz recently made his first pilgrimage to Buc-ee’s in Springfield and came away with a glowing review: it was okay. It was fine. It was big.
Take that, travel influencers.
But while Rizz may not be ready to dedicate his life to the beaver, Buc-ee’s is apparently extremely dedicated to protecting it. The crew discusses a legal battle involving apparel company Born United, which the show says used the Buc-ee’s beaver logo on military-style merchandise and continued selling it after receiving cease-and-desist letters.
The result discussed on the show: an $850,000 settlement involving trademark infringement, unfair competition and false advertising.
That launches this comedy podcast into the larger debate over Buc-ee’s aggressively defending its brand, especially when smaller businesses are involved.
Lern brings up John Oliver’s campaign trolling “Big Beaver” with parody merchandise featuring Mr. Nutterbutter and the phrase “Buck Off.” Instead of simply poking the bear — or beaver — the merchandise is raising money for charity, while Buc-ee’s apparently refuses to take the lawsuit bait.
Lern and Tim even bought the socks.
Naturally.
The crew debates where legitimate trademark protection ends and corporate bullying begins. Lern compares it to protecting station branding when somebody blatantly rips off a logo versus going nuclear on some random tiny business that happens to use something vaguely similar.
Basically: protect your beaver responsibly.
Then it’s time to give away concert tickets.
And any remaining faith in the American education system.
Welcome to the Rizz Quiz.
Six callers get 45 seconds of rapid-fire trivia. No skips. One wrong answer ends the run. Highest score wins their choice of concert tickets.
These are not impossible questions.
That becomes important.
Curtis starts the festivities by correctly identifying the colors of a yield sign before saying the main ingredient in butter is oil.
Score: one.
Rizz then accidentally hangs up on him.
Honestly, mercy killing.
Brian looks like an early trivia powerhouse when he correctly identifies Garfield as orange, Madrid as the capital of Spain and six as half a dozen.
Then he says the planet with the Great Red Spot is Mars.
Jupiter would like a word.
Score: three.
Justin steps up and starts absolutely cooking.
A baby kangaroo? Joey.
Sapphire? Blue.
Girl with the red hood? Little Red Riding Hood.
Quarters in two dollars? Eight.
Crushed peanuts? Peanut butter.
Which ocean borders California?
Atlantic.
NOOOOOOO.
Justin still posts the best score so far with five, but geography has officially entered the building and chosen violence.
Next comes Zach, who asks the show to wish his son Jameson a happy 11th birthday.
Rizz explains they don’t do shout-outs while immediately wishing Jameson a happy birthday and giving him applause.
Perfect.
Now Dad has to win for Jameson.
Unfortunately, Dad does not know how many years are in a millennium.
Happy birthday, buddy.
Daddy got you 100 years instead of 1,000.
Mark is next and nearly gets taken out immediately by Scar from The Lion King. After what feels like a complete psychological journey, he finally remembers the villain’s name and battles his way to five correct answers, tying Justin.
Then Aaron arrives with the opportunity to avoid a playoff entirely.
His first question:
What is the bottom color of a standard traffic light?
Red.
Game over.
The answer is green.
Aaron scores the day’s first zero, and somewhere every DMV employee listening quietly locks the doors.
Now we have a playoff.
Justin returns first and answers six inches in half a foot.
Correct.
Bruce Wayne’s superhero identity?
Batman.
Correct.
What country is directly north of Mexico?
Alaska.
ALASKA.
The comedy podcast has officially abandoned geography and entered experimental theater.
The room absolutely collapses.
Not only is Alaska not directly north of Mexico, it is — and we cannot stress this enough — not a country.
Justin finishes with two.
That leaves Mark needing three correct answers to win.
Football safety? Two points.
Shape with no corners or straight sides? Circle.
Famous New York statue holding a torch?
Statue of Liberty.
We have a winner.
Mark takes the Rizz Quiz crown and chooses Breaking Benjamin with Chevelle tickets, bringing one of the most educationally concerning contests in recent show history to a merciful conclusion.
But Rizz has one final question.
He reveals the closest-number tiebreaker they could have used: How many floors are in the Empire State Building?
Now everybody in the studio gets involved.
Devon guesses 54.
Lern lands on 88 after changing her answer.
Another guess rockets all the way to 224.
Rafe goes with 150 — while admitting he almost said 400 before realizing that might make him “sound like a real dumb ass.”
Good save.
The actual answer according to the quiz?
Lern’s 88 is closest.
Somehow, after an entire segment of listeners getting publicly destroyed by elementary-school trivia, Lern walks away the intellectual champion.
So this episode has everything: Jeremy Piven birthday wishes, Buc-ee’s trademark warfare, Big Beaver, John Oliver trolling, concert tickets, Garfield, Jupiter, a child learning his father doesn’t know what a millennium is, California apparently relocating to the Atlantic Ocean, Alaska declaring independence from the United States and a group of grown adults trying to estimate the height of the Empire State Building.
It’s trivia.
It’s chaos.
It’s The Rizzuto Show.
And please remember before getting behind the wheel today:
Green is on the bottom.
Follow The Rizzuto Show → linktr.ee/rizzshow for more from your favorite daily comedy show.
Connect with The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast online → 1057thepoint.com/RizzShow.
Hear The Rizz Show daily on the radio at 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio in St. Louis, MO.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Lern was supposed to stay at a Dolly Parton-themed hotel.
That sentence alone sounds magical.
Unfortunately, the hotel wasn’t finished.
After booking the Nashville stay months in advance for a trip surrounding the Foo Fighters, Lern and Tim learned shortly before arriving that their Dolly accommodations still weren’t ready for actual human beings. The hotel staff was extremely accommodating — because apparently that’s the Dolly way — and offered to help them find somewhere else.
Lern eventually landed in an Airbnb.
Which is convenient, because this funny show immediately turns into a discussion about Airbnbs that would make most reasonable people sleep in their cars instead.
The crew discovers you can stay in the actual Pennsylvania house used as Buffalo Bill’s home in The Silence of the Lambs. It’s in Perryopolis, a town name that Moon and Rafe immediately decide needs to be investigated for crimes against geography.
Perryville?
Too normal.
Perry Town?
Not enough grandeur.
Perryopolis?
Now we’re cooking.
And the house itself has gone completely all-in.
The basement scenes involving Buffalo Bill’s infamous well weren’t originally filmed there, so naturally the current owner had a replica constructed inside the house. Guests can climb into it, take pictures and apparently even propose marriage from inside the pit, because nothing says “spend forever with me” like recreating a serial killer’s basement.
There’s also a motion-activated disco ball that plays “Goodbye Horses.”
Worth the trip.
Throw in themed packages, horror memorabilia, an arcade, a pool table and hundreds of horror movies on DVD and VHS, and suddenly the crew is seriously considering a group vacation to Perryopolis.
Lern is absolutely sleeping there.
Devon apparently wants the well.
Everybody seems surprisingly comfortable with this.
From haunted vacation rentals, the conversation makes the completely natural transition into karaoke — specifically, songs you should absolutely NOT attempt unless your goal is public humiliation.
The crew runs through a ranking of brutally difficult karaoke choices, including “I Will Always Love You,” “Bohemian Rhapsody,” “Dream On,” “Take On Me,” “Chandelier,” “Somebody to Love,” “Emotions,” “Barracuda,” “We Didn’t Start the Fire,” “Informer,” “Purple Rain,” “Chop Suey!” and several other songs requiring vocal abilities that Chad from accounting simply does not possess.
Lern and Rafe argue that terrible karaoke is actually the point.
Nobody wants to watch twelve consecutive musical-theater kids nail obscure Broadway songs like they’re auditioning for a touring production.
We want danger.
We want confidence unsupported by talent.
We want somebody three drinks deep suddenly deciding they can sing System of a Down.
That is entertainment.
Rizz, meanwhile, treats karaoke like The Voice, mentally turning his chair whenever somebody actually pulls off the impossible.
And yes, the crew demonstrates some of these songs themselves.
You’re welcome.
The conversation also uncovers another deeply unfair fact about Alan Ritchson: apparently Jack Reacher can sing, too.
Being enormous and handsome was already plenty, sir.
Leave something for everybody else.
Then it’s time for Crap on Celebrities, and the funny show dives directly into entertainment chaos.
Benny Blanco’s relationship advice basically comes down to understanding your partner, communicating and not being a jerk — an apparently revolutionary romantic strategy.
The crew talks Ella Langley’s massive chart success, Kacey Musgraves, Stevie Nicks opening up about her history with cocaine and Klonopin, Tony Iommi reportedly passing on another Black Sabbath album and Moon explaining why producer Andrew Watt’s willingness to throw endless ideas around can be such an asset in the studio.
John Carpenter’s admiration for Metallica also sparks speculation about how his visual style could fit with a giant immersive production.
Which brings us to the Sphere.
Who’s next?
Metallica?
Oasis?
Coldplay?
Nope.
Oprah.
The show discusses Oprah Winfrey bringing an immersive production to the Las Vegas Sphere, and initially nobody can figure out what that is supposed to look like.
Giant Oprah?
Inspirational quotes covering 160,000 square feet?
“You get a Sphere! YOU get a Sphere!”
But then Moon discovers musician Jacob Collier is involved and executes one of the fastest opinion reversals in show history.
Suddenly, he’s in.
Completely in.
Moon launches into an enthusiastic defense of Collier’s musicianship and creativity while everybody else tries to figure out how the conversation went from mocking Oprah at the Sphere to Moon volunteering hundreds of dollars for tickets.
That’s growth.
Or something.
Celebrity chaos continues with Stagecoach talk, Florida Georgia Line, the Emmys, Reba’s Dolly Parton tribute, Dave Chappelle’s announced tour and Martha Stewart apparently considering releasing nude photos.
Which, naturally, gives Rafe the opportunity to invite everyone to “Martha’s Vineyard.”
We apologize.
Things briefly get much more serious when the show discusses a reported death possibly involving a counterfeit oxycodone pill containing fentanyl. The crew talks about the danger of counterfeit pills and the importance of Narcan, including the need to call 911 and the possibility that multiple doses may be necessary in an opioid overdose.
Then celebrity family drama arrives with a discussion about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s children dropping Pitt from their names, leading to a larger conversation about family relationships, famous last names and the obvious reality that none of us actually knows what happens inside somebody else’s home.
Finally, the episode becomes an accidental soundtrack debate.
What are the greatest songs ever attached to movies?
What are the worst?
Titanic. Dirty Dancing. Saturday Night Fever. Rocky. Philadelphia. Frozen. Wild Wild West. The Three Musketeers. An American Tail.
Moon gets emotionally invested in Fievel.
Lern would like everyone to return to Patrick Swayze.
Rafe remembers the reign of terror that was Bryan Adams.
And somewhere along the way, Pitbull gets accused of reminding everybody that he’s Mr. Worldwide in every song like he’s legally required to provide identification.
So yes, this episode starts with Dolly Parton hospitality, travels to Buffalo Bill’s basement, crashes a karaoke bar, discovers Jack Reacher can sing, sends Oprah to the Sphere and ends up debating whether Fievel has been given the musical respect he deserves.
Exactly the kind of funny show where nobody knows where the conversation is going — especially the people having it.
Welcome to Perryopolis.
Please put the lotion in the basket before checkout.
Follow The Rizzuto Show → linktr.ee/rizzshow for more from your favorite daily comedy show.
Connect with The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast online → 1057thepoint.com/RizzShow.
Hear The Rizz Show daily on the radio at 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio in St. Louis, MO.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Rafe might have allergies. Or a cold. Or he might simply be preparing for pharmaceutical Armageddon.
Either way, he arrives with enough medication spread across the desk to make the studio look like a Walgreens with microphones.
That’s how this episode begins, and somehow things get significantly less sanitary from there.
Rafe is determined not to get sick, so he’s armed with cold remedies, allergy treatments, mystery medicine from Devon and, naturally, cheese-filled salami wraps. Rizz recommends the traditional cure of chicken soup — AKA “Jewish penicillin” — while everyone tries to determine whether there’s actually something magical happening in the broth.
This daily podcast then becomes a support group for adults who wake up injured despite accomplishing absolutely nothing.
Rizz’s hand mysteriously hurts. Lern wakes up with a completely numb hand after falling asleep on the chaise lounge. Rafe routinely loses feeling in entire arms while sleeping. That launches everybody into an extremely detailed comparison of sleeping positions, dead limbs, stomach sleeping, coffin sleeping, restless legs and the bizarre little rituals our bodies apparently demand before allowing us eight hours of unconsciousness.
Moon sleeps like a vampire.
Lern has an elaborate pelvic-hand configuration.
Rafe rubs his feet together like a human cricket.
Everybody is doing great.
Lern also shares her surprise Mary Kay makeover from a listener, which sends the room down memory lane with pink Cadillacs, parents getting involved with Mary Kay, Tupperware parties and the strange world of home-sales businesses.
Naturally, Rafe has a related story.
Early in his comedy career, he and another comedian performed at an event and discovered part of their compensation involved a swag bag filled with adult products.
Money disappears.
Possessions come and go.
But apparently a bag of novelty merchandise is forever.
From there, Rizz gets into the supposed magic of 10,000 steps a day and explains that the famous number traces back to pedometer marketing rather than some sacred scientific commandment. The crew discusses walking pace, Moon’s extremely active 83-year-old mother and the general importance of staying mobile as you get older.
Then we meet Hyrox.
Imagine running five miles while repeatedly stopping to punish yourself with sled pushes, sled pulls, burpee broad jumps, rowing, kettlebell carries, sandbag lunges and wall balls.
Sounds fun!
It gets better.
The show discusses a 22-year-old competitor who won a Hyrox event despite suffering an absolutely catastrophic bathroom emergency during the race.
She kept going.
And won.
Normally, that would be an inspirational sports story about perseverance.
Unfortunately, Hyrox involves shared workout equipment.
Now we have a biohazard.
The crew debates whether finishing the race was admirable, horrifying or both, especially after learning the incident reportedly happened early enough that the competitor still had multiple shared stations ahead of her.
The event ultimately changed its rules for future incidents, but her victory remained intact.
A win is a win.
Apparently.
You might think one poop story is enough for a daily podcast.
That would indicate you have never listened to The Rizzuto Show.
Welcome to Poopy Tuesday.
The next story involves an alleged affair, neighboring units in a Miami-area mobile home park and a woman accused of preparing an entire bucket of human waste specifically to throw in her neighbor’s face.
That sentence somehow gets worse when the crew learns she reportedly told someone beforehand what she was planning.
Nothing says “healthy conflict resolution” quite like collecting ammunition yourself.
Crime news continues with authorities reportedly searching for an older Chevy Tahoe bearing the words “Fat Chicks Only” after a burglary. Witnesses allegedly describe two large bearded men, meaning police received perhaps the most specific and simultaneously useless suspect description imaginable.
Then Vegas enters the chat.
A man meets two women at a nightclub, drinks with them, hits the hot tub and brings them back to his hotel room. He later wakes up to discover cash missing along with tens of thousands of dollars in allegedly unauthorized transactions.
The crew immediately begins investigating the most important unanswered question:
Did the poor guy at least have a good night first?
We may never know.
Things eventually move to air travel, where Rizz recalls sitting near a passenger who suffered a seizure before takeoff and was ultimately removed from the flight because of the medical risk.
Then comes another flight story involving a passenger who reportedly got completely naked and began engaging in inappropriate behavior in front of neighboring passengers.
The pilots apparently decide they’re still going to Miami.
Honestly, at that point, everybody deserves the vacation.
Moon also unloads on airline entertainment systems that constantly interrupt movies with announcements, lengthy videos and pilots who sound approximately 40 years older over the intercom than they looked while boarding.
Then Rizz destroys airplane dining forever.
According to a flight attendant story discussed on the show, some passengers have changed babies on tray tables.
Yes.
Those tray tables.
The same tray tables where you put your pretzels.
Moon says he wipes down his tray, screen and armrests whenever he flies.
Suddenly that no longer sounds obsessive.
It sounds like basic survival.
And because apparently the gastrointestinal theme had not been explored thoroughly enough, the crew circles back to diarrhea for a discussion about a reported cyclospora outbreak tied to shredded iceberg lettuce being declared over.
Lettuce is back, baby.
The long national nightmare has ended.
Finally, the crew gets into one of St. Louis’ favorite shared hobbies: complaining about Lambert.
Airport pickup congestion, Uber confusion, departures versus arrivals, construction, terminal access and the increasingly chaotic experience of simply trying to collect another human being from the airport all get their turn.
For years, one of St. Louis’ greatest airport flexes was convenience.
Now?
Welcome to Thunderdome. Please locate your Uber somewhere in this general zip code.
So yes, this episode has allergies, mysterious body pain, bizarre sleeping positions, Mary Kay, unconventional comedy compensation, fitness trends, competitive bathroom disasters, weaponized feces, Vegas mistakes, naked airline passengers, contaminated tray tables, lettuce recalls and St. Louis airport rage.
Exactly what you expect from a daily podcast that begins by recommending chicken soup and somehow ends up making you afraid of gyms, airplanes, mobile homes, lettuce and your own digestive system.
Feel better, everybody.
And maybe disinfect that tray table.
Follow The Rizzuto Show → linktr.ee/rizzshow for more from your favorite daily comedy show.
Connect with The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast online → 1057thepoint.com/RizzShow.
Hear The Rizz Show daily on the radio at 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio in St. Louis, MO.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

What do concussions, Mexico City, a $2,000 foldable iPhone, midnight margaritas, tanning beds and a robot vacuum catching an alleged cheater have in common?
Absolutely nothing.
So naturally, we put them together.
This three-episode collection of The Rizzuto Show combines some spectacularly unrelated conversations into one giant funny podcast featuring physical trauma, international rock-star adventures, technological betrayal, relationship debates and enough questionable judgment to keep everybody employed for at least one more morning.
The chaos begins with a simple question: has anyone on the show ever been knocked out cold?
Moon recalls childhood injuries and the 219 stitches he’s had in his head and face, along with moments when a hard impact made everything go black. Rafe remembers a helmet-to-helmet football collision that left him seeing lights before collapsing. Lern doesn’t think she was ever fully knocked unconscious, although her cousins apparently made a respectable effort when they were kids.
Meanwhile, Rizz reveals that his social-media algorithm has correctly identified his primary interests as cooking videos and watching people get absolutely demolished.
Personalized technology is beautiful.
From there, Moon returns from Mexico City after performing with Goldfinger at Warped Tour. He describes roughly 40,000 people packed in front of their stage, with more than 150,000 tickets sold for the event overall. Mexico City’s altitude makes performing an adventure of its own, but Moon comes back raving about the crowd, the people, the food and the sheer size of a city that seemingly never ends.
There are chilaquiles. There are frijoles. There’s an extremely nice hotel. There are also security precautions involving verified drivers and discussions of kidnapping risks, because apparently touring internationally occasionally requires more preparation than “bring your guitar.”
Moon also gets reflective about the wealth disparity he saw and how traveling outside your normal bubble can violently reset your perspective.
Then everybody talks airports, TSA rules and the possibility of approved non-ticketed visitors eventually being allowed back through security at select airports. This leads directly into old airport nostalgia, Global Entry complaints, confiscated toiletries and all the other tiny indignities we accept because somebody once decided 3.5 ounces of shampoo represents chaos.
Lern then takes us into another terrifying environment:
Youth baseball.
After attending her best friend’s son’s game, she reports back on parents blocking views with tents, adults getting way too emotionally invested and one dad loudly criticizing his own kid while the kid is trying to hit.
The crew gets into overbearing sports parents, adults attempting to relive their glory days through children, screaming at referees and umpires, and the incredible ability of youth athletics to turn otherwise functional adults into people who believe a 12-year-old’s batting average determines the family legacy.
And somehow that still isn’t the weirdest concert-related story.
At an outdoor gig, Lern encounters an audience member who brings their own guitar AND a battery-powered amplifier, sets up in front of the band and simply starts playing along.
Not invited.
Not hired.
Not remotely part of the band.
Just spiritually promoted themselves.
Honestly, that confidence should be studied.
Then another episode brings us the reported foldable Apple iPhone and the greatest civil-rights battle nobody expected: left-handed people versus phone design.
The show discusses complaints that the foldable phone’s layout is significantly friendlier to right-handed users. Moon’s position is compassionate and nuanced:
The world is built for right-handed people. Deal with it.
Rizz responds by digging into supposed advantages of being left-handed in sports, creativity and other areas, which somehow becomes a discussion of famous lefties, presidents and Professor Lern’s historically questionable theories.
Her future college course remains undefeated:
“Things I Think, But Can’t Prove.”
Everybody passes.
The funny podcast then transforms into a movie-review program nobody requested.
Lern and her mom go see Practical Magic 2 dressed as witches and discover they are apparently the only people who received the imaginary costume memo. Fortunately, they have midnight margaritas and commit to the bit.
Lern enjoys the movie. Rafe also enjoys it.
There is only one important difference.
Rafe went alone.
Now the crew can’t stop imagining one solitary man sitting among groups of mothers and daughters at Practical Magic 2, looking suspicious despite having the extremely innocent explanation that he simply likes Sandra Bullock and wanted the movie to succeed.
Moon counters with his own nostalgia fix in Mortal Kombat 2, and suddenly the show has become Siskel & Ebert if Siskel & Ebert spent half the review making fun of each other.
More movie talk follows, including horror, sequels and entertainment news, before the show encounters something truly horrifying:
Fake Eminem.
An AI-generated song presented like a new Eminem track reportedly racks up more than 100,000 YouTube views before being removed. The crew listens and quickly realizes something is missing.
Variation.
A hook.
Actual Eminem.
And, most importantly, references to his mom.
AI may be coming for everyone’s jobs, but apparently Slim Shady remains safe for another afternoon.
Then Missouri gives everyone approximately seven minutes of gorgeous weather.
Rizz has the family outside. The dogs are playing. Nobody is fighting. Lern starts dreaming about jackets. Sweater weather is coming!
Tomorrow’s high?
99 degrees.
Thanks, St. Louis.
The conversation immediately gets darker when the show discusses allegations involving secret recordings of unsuspecting people using tanning facilities at an Arnold-area gym. The story summons the imaginary justice system known as Rizland, where the crew begins designing an increasingly elaborate form of Swamp Justice for the accused.
Lern proposes public shaming.
Rafe adds tanning.
Rizz gets disturbingly enthusiastic about the cooking process.
Nobody should give these people judicial authority.
Ever.
Next, Sex Time Fun Facts brings in a relationship dilemma involving a husband who wants to leave a stressful, high-paying career and pursue a calmer life. His wife worries about losing their lifestyle and wonders whether getting his testosterone checked might restore the ambitious “tiger” she married.
The room immediately divides over burnout, money, responsibility, marriage and whether this man genuinely needs a healthier life or just discovered mushrooms at Burning Man and now wants to skateboard in Costa Rica.
Underneath the jokes, the crew actually gets into the reality that people change during long relationships — and that figuring out how to adapt together may be more important than expecting your spouse to remain exactly who they were when you met.
Very mature.
Don’t worry. It doesn’t last.
Because now we have a robot vacuum solving infidelity.
The show discusses a story from Taiwan involving a husband who reportedly activated a robot vacuum remotely and discovered his wife with another man through the device’s camera.
Forget lipstick on the collar.
The Roomba has evidence.
The legal aftermath gets even stranger, but Rafe remains fixated on the true violation: another man allegedly sitting bare-assed on the couch where the husband watches football.
Some betrayals simply cut deeper.
That launches the crew into a debate over what actually qualifies as cheating.
Flirtatious texts?
Late-night conversations you hide from your partner?
Keeping a dating profile for “validation”?
Deleting messages?
Saving somebody under a fake name?
Talking to another person about problems in your relationship?
Everyone draws the line somewhere different, although Moon offers perhaps the most useful conclusion: if you want a genuinely healthy relationship, maybe stop deliberately hanging out directly next to the line.
This reasonable advice lasts until the show debates whether a straight married guy could theoretically maintain a Grindr profile exclusively for compliments.
We tried.
Three episodes. One spectacular pile of nonsense.
You’ve got people getting knocked out, Moon playing for a gigantic Mexico City crowd, airport security, youth-sports parents, an unauthorized audience guitarist, left-handed phone discrimination, witch costumes, midnight margaritas, Mortal Kombat nostalgia, AI Eminem, fake sweater weather, alleged tanning-bed surveillance, marital burnout, relationship boundaries and a robot vacuum that has seen things no household appliance should ever have to see.
It’s weird news, funny stories, pop culture commentary, St. Louis chaos and exactly the kind of funny podcast where you can start with traumatic brain injuries and somehow end up debating whether your Roomba is legally allowed to testify against your spouse.
Technology was a mistake.
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