The Rizzuto Show | Daily Comedy Podcast

Things start surprisingly deep when Lern talks about listening to Rafe’s appearance on The HoneyDew, where he discussed difficult experiences from childhood and finding comedy in darker moments. He explains the idea of turning life’s lowlights into highlights, everybody agrees that nobody escapes childhood completely unscathed, and for one fleeting moment this sounds like a mature conversation between emotionally intelligent adults.
Then Moon asks what everyone puts in their coffee.
So much for that.
Turns out King Scott likes his coffee like he likes his women... According to former Starbucks professionals, black-coffee drinkers might enjoy torturing themselves, caramel macchiato fans barely want coffee at all, vanilla-latte people play it safe, Frappuccino drinkers are basically ordering milkshakes, matcha people might be doing it for the aesthetic, and macchiato drinkers know exactly what they want—and apparently want the barista to know that they know.
Then Rafe introduces the concept of a “bro drive-thru” serving pre-workout instead of coffee, because apparently this funny podcast is also an incubator for business ideas nobody should finance.
Speaking of decisions nobody should finance, Shake Shack has a limited-edition Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup shake featuring vanilla custard, peanut butter, fudge, a crackable chocolate shell, whipped cream, Reese’s cups and Reese’s Pieces. The damage? A completely reasonable and emotionally stable 1,900 calories with 158 grams of sugar.
That sends the crew spiraling into their own hall of fame of caloric atrocities. Moon remembers casually annihilating an entire package of Double Stuf Oreos during his gaming days—potentially somewhere around 2,700 to 3,500 calories. Lern admits she could take down an entire gooey butter cake. And suddenly everyone is remembering the beautiful years when metabolism was magic and nutritional labels were merely decorative stickers.
From there, Domino’s new Detroit-style pizza promotion sparks the important question our Founding Fathers were apparently too cowardly to answer: What belongs on the Mount Rushmore of fast food?
McDonald’s fries enter the conversation. So does the Wendy’s Frosty, Taco Bell’s spicy potato soft taco, the Frisco Melt, Lion’s Choice, Dairy Queen onion rings, Rally’s fries, Del Taco, Freddy’s and more. Nobody reaches a universal consensus because democracy has failed once again.
Things somehow become less appetizing when the crew discovers a Walgreens three-in-one product described as a douche, enema and water-bottle combination system. There are some household products where “multipurpose” is a selling point. This may not be one of them.
The show then gets into a study suggesting men have a complicated relationship with dieting, including the idea that some men may respond better to “goals” and “challenges” than the word “diet.” Rafe offers his own theory after seeing wildly confident dudes criticize women online while looking, in his words, like a thumb melting into a suit. Poetry remains alive in St. Louis.
And because the current calendar apparently isn't irritating enough, Moon brings up a viral proposal to replace our 12 months with five beautiful 73-day monstrosities: Jebruary, Maple, Jaugust, Socktober and Nissember. Is a 73-day Jaugust horrifying? Absolutely. Are we intrigued by Socktober? Unfortunately, yes.
We also discover that plenty of Americans apparently aren’t sure what Labor Day celebrates, leading to the much more useful Rizz Show explanation that it exists so all pregnant women can give birth on the same day. Please do not cite us in an academic paper.
Then Tupac conspiracy content leads into a survey asking whether Americans believe they could successfully fake their own deaths. Younger adults are more confident. Older adults have apparently lived long enough to understand that the IRS, prescription refills and bill collectors are undefeated.
Finally, a high-school football season gets canceled amid an investigation into alleged misconduct at a football camp, leaving Moon to read a phrase from the reports on morning radio enough times that everyone involved should probably receive hazard pay.
Coffee psychology. Childhood trauma. Reese’s shakes. Oreos. Fast-food Mount Rushmore. Dieting. Socktober. Labor Day. Fake deaths. High-school football chaos.
That is Episode 101 of The Rizzuto Show—and somehow the funny podcast survived all of it.
Follow The Rizzuto Show → linktr.ee/rizzshow for more from your favorite daily comedy show.
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Hear The Rizz Show daily on the radio at 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio in St. Louis, MO.
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The 1st full Saturday slate of college football is here and Tim McKernan and Anthony Stalter are back in The Spread Zone breaking down their picks for the weekend.
Anthony looks to bounce back after an 0-3 Week 0, while Tim comes in off a 2-1 week. Starting Thursday night, they look into Coach Prime's return to Atlanta, and how you can bet on Mizzou as they kick off the season against Arkansas Pine Bluffs. Plus, a showdown on the west coast as Oregon takes on Boise St., Kane Kiffin's LSU debut against Dabo Swinney's Clemson Tigers, Wisconsin and Notre Dame meeting at the not so frozen tundra of Lambeau Field, and more.
Plus, does the expanded playoff change how bettors should approach massive spreads against overmatched opponents? And could a rough Week 1 loss already turn up the heat on Dabo Swinney at Clemson?
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Moon kicks things off with the full report from the Cali Country Cruise, sailing from Long Beach to Ensenada, Mexico. The lineup included Tracy Lawrence, Gretchen Wilson, Jo Dee Messina, Chase Rice and plenty more, while Moon performed with Sullivan. There were some musical highs, some musical... let's call them learning opportunities... and the revelation that Jo Dee Messina may have discovered the ultimate cruise hack: perform before the ship leaves and then GET OFF THE BOAT.
Gretchen Wilson, meanwhile, delivered one of Moon's highlights of the entire trip with a killer performance and band. Unfortunately, the actual cruise experience wasn't getting the same review. We're talking pricey Wi-Fi that barely worked, a balcony-room mix-up, limited excursion options, fake Cuban cigars, a stage built over the pool and a tiny backup pool populated by people who apparently had no interest in ever getting out.
From there, this funny podcast turns into a tour of America's most overrated attractions. Four Corners gets roasted. Mount Rushmore gets called smaller than expected. Times Square takes a hit. The Las Vegas Strip lands at the top of the list. Lern also reveals she once got emotional seeing Chicago's Bean, proving once again that public art can be powerful when it looks like a gigantic piece of silver produce.
A swimmer at Lake Tahoe reportedly gets attacked by an otter and requires 38 stitches, prompting Rafe to immediately begin defending the otter because apparently wildlife now has legal representation on The Rizzuto Show. Then there's a possible shark attack near the Massachusetts location associated with Jaws, followed by the deeply upsetting story of a woman waking from a dream about a mouse crawling toward her mouth... only to discover there was actually a BAT near her mouth.
We also discover a Hawaiian shirt designed to confuse AI-powered surveillance cameras, which means Weird Al may have been preparing for the surveillance state this entire time.
Missouri and Illinois get dragged into America's "worst vibes" rankings before the crew investigates which states hate each other the most. Missouri's answer? Kansas. Obviously. Centuries pass, civilizations rise and fall, and Missouri will apparently still find time to be annoyed by Kansas.
Moon kicks things off with the glamorous realities of modern air travel after seemingly every flight on his trip decided that “on time” was more of a suggestion. A canceled connection, rerouting through Dallas, delays into Los Angeles and another delay getting back to St. Louis gave him plenty of time to catch up on movies. Unfortunately, that included The Mandalorian and Grogu, which gets a very enthusiastic C-minus review. Somewhere, a Star Wars fan just felt a disturbance in the Force.
Then we discover that Americans apparently hit an energy wall around 2:48 in the afternoon, which explains basically every email you’ve ever received after lunch. Rafe’s sleep schedule is wrecked, Lern is fighting afternoon cravings with hard-boiled eggs, and that leads to perhaps the most important culinary advice ever delivered on a funny podcast: if you’ve already hard-boiled the egg, you’re halfway to a deviled egg.
That discussion somehow turns into stale cereal confessions. Lern admits to eating old strawberry vanilla Chex after band practice while Rafe reveals that he knowingly ate stale Pops AND stale Golden Grahams. This is less a morning show and more four adults slowly admitting things that should probably stay between themselves and their pantries.
Then it’s time for Crap on Celebrities, where things get appropriately ridiculous. A woman is accused of stealing and crashing an ambulance outside an Avenged Sevenfold and Good Charlotte concert. Sevendust drummer Morgan Rose gets some love. Gibson is releasing an extremely limited Billy Gibbons “Pearly Gates” Les Paul. Sean Ono Lennon welcomes his first child, making John Lennon and Yoko Ono grandparents for the first time. There’s also a Matthew Perry documentary on the way, more Tulsa King, and the crew tries to understand the enormous world of people watching other people play video games.
Speaking of gaming, Grand Theft Auto gets everybody talking about Twitch, streaming communities, gameplay fandoms, and the strange realization that watching someone else play a game can become an entire entertainment ecosystem. Scott even admits he made “multiple dollars” streaming, so please respect the media mogul.
Hollywood keeps the nonsense rolling with Emmy gift bags, Marvel’s mysterious Secret Wars casting, Hamnet, and Ridley Scott reportedly having some thoughts about Paul Mescal and Gladiator 2. That opens the floodgates because Rafe and Moon are more than happy to discuss just how much they hated that movie. Sharks in the Coliseum are put on trial. The verdict is not favorable.
There’s also a live-action Street Fighter movie coming with a completely unhinged cast, including Jason Momoa, 50 Cent, Roman Reigns, Cody Rhodes, Eric André and more. Apparently somebody looked at the casting board and selected “yes.”
Finally, Journey brings Steve Perry look-alike Hugo Valenti onstage during shows in Japan, causing some fans to apparently wonder whether the real Steve Perry had returned. The crew listens to the results, and that goes exactly as respectfully as longtime listeners would expect.
Throw in birthdays, Terry Bradshaw, Keanu Reeves, Salma Hayek, Rafe’s increasingly dangerous wordplay, and all the other nonsense that somehow qualifies as broadcasting, and you’ve got another funny podcast from The Rizzuto Show.
Delayed flights. Deviled eggs. Stale Pops. Celebrity fails. Video games. Gladiator sharks. Fake Steve Perry.
We accomplished nothing and covered everything.

The Cali-Country Cruise
7 most overrated US attractions
Woman attacked by otter while swimming says 'it felt like a human'
Woman gets potential shark bite off Martha's Vineyard, in the town "Jaws" was filmed
Which US state has the worst vibes?
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Moon kicks things off with random facts, including the slightly unsettling reminder that everything you see technically happened in the past because your brain needs time to process visual information. Humanity’s deepest hole is only about 7.6 miles deep compared to an Earth radius of thousands of miles, and apparently hundreds of thousands of people around the world may hit the space bar during the exact same second you do.
More importantly, the scientific word for your stomach rumbling enters the conversation, and the crew immediately does what scientists surely hoped humanity would do with that information: turns it into a bit.
Then Rafe takes everybody deeper into the cosmic rabbit hole. Looking at distant stars means looking into the past, some of those stars may not even exist anymore, and the Andromeda galaxy we see is essentially an ancient version of itself. We eventually make it all the way back to the cosmic microwave background and the early universe before Moon asks the only question that matters: do you know what movies are playing in theaters right now?
And with that, science is over.
It’s time for Three in Five.
The rules sound painfully simple. Rafe gives a category. The contestant gets five seconds to name three things that fit it. No stall tactics, no verbal buffering and no wasting precious seconds trying to remember information you absolutely knew before somebody put you on the radio.
Naturally, everything goes wonderfully wrong.
Mike in Fenton is asked for three Julia Roberts movies and fires off Pretty Woman, Ocean’s 8 and Ocean’s 11. Unfortunately, Ocean’s 8 creates a minor courtroom proceeding before Mike recovers by naming states beginning with M and actors who played Batman.
Matt gets cereal mascots and Saturday Night Live cast members while apparently communicating through technology recovered from an archaeological dig. Somehow, he survives.
Then Chris is asked for three TV shows set in New York City and confidently opens with… CHiPs.
Yes. CHiPs.
California Highway Patrol.
New York City.
This comedy podcast cannot explain what happened there. We can only document it for future generations.
Things become even more legally questionable when Chris attempts to name three Doritos flavors and introduces “spicy taco” into the proceedings. The judges investigate. Mercy is granted. Then he names ibuprofen, Tylenol and acetaminophen as three over-the-counter pain relievers, creating another debate because Tylenol and acetaminophen might be getting suspiciously friendly with each other. Somehow, tickets are still awarded because Moon has apparently decided rules are just another form of audience participation.
Lisa joins the game and gives us what sounds suspiciously like the “Pittsburgh Farts” while attempting to name professional baseball teams. The crew loses it, Lisa survives, and we eventually discover she knows her domestic beers extremely well despite preferring Ichiban. Honestly, respect.
Then Bill returns seeking redemption after a previous mathematical catastrophe, only to discover that redemption is apparently not available today. Asked to name three laundry detergent brands, Bill gets as far as “Tide.”
Goodbye, Bill.
Jordan struggles with NFL teams and St. Louis landmarks, giving us “the Arch, the River…” before the five-second clock claims another victim. At this point the game has stopped being trivia and become a controlled experiment studying what happens when humans experience extremely mild pressure.
Finally, Brad attempts to end things on a high note with refrigerator condiments, solo artists known by one name, and holidays that get you a day off work. Naturally, even that creates debates over Elvis, Bowie, Veterans Day and what exactly constitutes a universally recognized day off.
Throw in AC/DC and Foo Fighters tickets, Shinedown, Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, refrigerator hot-sauce organization, missing Milk Duds and a shocking amount of leniency from Moon, and you’ve got another comedy podcast that started by contemplating the age of the universe and ended by arguing about condiments.
Science taught us that looking into space means looking into the past.
Three in Five taught us something even more important:
Never judge someone for freezing on an easy question until Rafe puts a five-second timer on you.

Follow The Rizzuto Show → linktr.ee/rizzshow for more from your favorite daily comedy show.
Connect with The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast online → 1057thepoint.com/RizzShow.
Hear The Rizz Show daily on the radio at 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio in St. Louis, MO.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Moon is back from California and Mexico, Rizz is out, and naturally the captain’s chair immediately becomes a command center for delayed flights, stale cereal, deviled eggs, celebrity nonsense, video games, and a surprisingly passionate takedown of Gladiator 2. Welcome to another funny podcast where we somehow start with Southwest Airlines and end up debating whether a Steve Perry look-alike can spiritually become Steve Perry if the crowd believes hard enough.
Moon kicks things off with the glamorous realities of modern air travel after seemingly every flight on his trip decided that “on time” was more of a suggestion. A canceled connection, rerouting through Dallas, delays into Los Angeles and another delay getting back to St. Louis gave him plenty of time to catch up on movies. Unfortunately, that included The Mandalorian and Grogu, which gets a very enthusiastic C-minus review. Somewhere, a Star Wars fan just felt a disturbance in the Force.
Then we discover that Americans apparently hit an energy wall around 2:48 in the afternoon, which explains basically every email you’ve ever received after lunch. Rafe’s sleep schedule is wrecked, Lern is fighting afternoon cravings with hard-boiled eggs, and that leads to perhaps the most important culinary advice ever delivered on a funny podcast: if you’ve already hard-boiled the egg, you’re halfway to a deviled egg.
“Scoop and gloop,” America.
That discussion somehow turns into stale cereal confessions. Lern admits to eating old strawberry vanilla Chex after band practice while Rafe reveals that he knowingly ate stale Pops AND stale Golden Grahams. This is less a morning show and more four adults slowly admitting things that should probably stay between themselves and their pantries.
Then it’s time for Crap on Celebrities, where things get appropriately ridiculous. A woman is accused of stealing and crashing an ambulance outside an Avenged Sevenfold and Good Charlotte concert. Sevendust drummer Morgan Rose gets some love. Gibson is releasing an extremely limited Billy Gibbons “Pearly Gates” Les Paul. Sean Ono Lennon welcomes his first child, making John Lennon and Yoko Ono grandparents for the first time. There’s also a Matthew Perry documentary on the way, more Tulsa King, and the crew tries to understand the enormous world of people watching other people play video games.
Speaking of gaming, Grand Theft Auto gets everybody talking about Twitch, streaming communities, gameplay fandoms, and the strange realization that watching someone else play a game can become an entire entertainment ecosystem. Scott even admits he made “multiple dollars” streaming, so please respect the media mogul.
Hollywood keeps the nonsense rolling with Emmy gift bags, Marvel’s mysterious Secret Wars casting, Hamnet, and Ridley Scott reportedly having some thoughts about Paul Mescal and Gladiator 2. That opens the floodgates because Rafe and Moon are more than happy to discuss just how much they hated that movie. Sharks in the Coliseum are put on trial. The verdict is not favorable.
There’s also a live-action Street Fighter movie coming with a completely unhinged cast, including Jason Momoa, 50 Cent, Roman Reigns, Cody Rhodes, Eric André and more. Apparently somebody looked at the casting board and selected “yes.”
Finally, Journey brings Steve Perry look-alike Hugo Valenti onstage during shows in Japan, causing some fans to apparently wonder whether the real Steve Perry had returned. The crew listens to the results, and that goes exactly as respectfully as longtime listeners would expect.
Throw in birthdays, Terry Bradshaw, Keanu Reeves, Salma Hayek, Rafe’s increasingly dangerous wordplay, and all the other nonsense that somehow qualifies as broadcasting, and you’ve got another funny podcast from The Rizzuto Show.
Delayed flights. Deviled eggs. Stale Pops. Celebrity fails. Video games. Gladiator sharks. Fake Steve Perry.
We accomplished nothing and covered everything.

Follow The Rizzuto Show → linktr.ee/rizzshow for more from your favorite daily comedy show.
Connect with The Rizzuto Show Comedy Podcast online → 1057thepoint.com/RizzShow.
Hear The Rizz Show daily on the radio at 105.7 The Point | Hubbard Radio in St. Louis, MO.
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.