Stepmom Side Chats

In this episode of Alyssa & Becca, we sit down with Ashton Whitmoyer-Ober, an Enneagram coach and speaker, to talk about how understanding your Enneagram type can help you navigate stepmom life with more self-awareness, clarity, and compassion.
We get into how different Enneagram types respond to conflict, triggers, boundaries, people-pleasing, resentment, and relationship dynamics, especially inside blended families. We also talk about why stepmom life can feel so emotionally layered, how your core motivations shape the way you react, and what it can look like to better understand both yourself and the people around you.
Whether you are the stepmom who overthinks everything, takes things to heart, avoids conflict, or feels like you always have to prove yourself, this conversation offers insight into why you may respond the way you do and how that awareness can help you move through blended family dynamics with more intention.
We also answer a listener question and share practical takeaways for stepmoms who want to better understand their triggers, communication patterns, and emotional responses.

Connect with Ashton:
Instagram: @enneagramashton Website:https://www.enneagramashton.com/

✨ Big Ass Candles | www.bigassluxuries.com and use the code STEPMOM for a discount
✨ Episode sponsor | www.cozyearth.com and use code STEPMOM
✨ Pateron private stepmom membership: ⁠https://patreon.com/Stepmomsidechats⁠
✨ Follow us on Instagram for more stepmom content and to stay connected for future episodes ⁠@stepmomsidechats⁠
✨ Leave us a review if this episode resonated with you, this helps us reach more stepmoms.

Season 2 is here and we’re starting with a conversation so many stepmoms know by heart. In this first episode, Alyssa & Becca talk about the exact moment they realized stepmom life was not what they thought they signed up for. From overfunctioning, unrealistic expectations, and feeling invisible in your own home, to the emotional labor, criticism, and identity shifts no one prepares you for, we’re getting honest about the parts of stepmom life that hit the hardest.
We’re also sharing what we wish we would’ve known earlier, the boundaries we wish we’d set sooner, and the biggest lessons we’ve learned along the way. If you’ve ever thought, “Wait… this is not what I expected,” this episode is for you.

✨ Big Ass Candles | www.bigassluxuries.com and use the code STEPMOM for a discount
✨ Episode sponsor | ⁠www.cozyearth.com⁠ and use code STEPMOMBOGO
✨ Pateron private stepmom membership: ⁠⁠https://patreon.com/Stepmomsidechats⁠⁠
✨ Follow us on Instagram for more stepmom content and to stay connected for future episodes ⁠⁠@stepmomsidechats⁠⁠
✨ Leave us a review if this episode resonated with you, this helps us reach more stepmoms.

It’s our season finale, and we are showing up caffeinated, chaotic, and completely unfiltered. Alyssa and Becca playing “Would You Rather: Stepmom Edition”, from sports practices vs. parent-teacher conferences to stepping on Legos vs. reading a six-paragraph text from the ex. They also tackle listener-submitted questions about dating a partner with a toddler, long-distance stepkids, and what it’s like when you have less than 50/50 time.
Plus, they are sharing a little life update on transition days, stepmom triggers, and why “let it go” is way easier said than done.
They discuss taking a short break before Season 2, but how they still be hanging out inside the Stepmom Side Chats membership with lives, Q&As, and support you don’t have to explain.

✨ Pateron private stepmom communities: https://patreon.com/Stepmomsidechats
✨ Follow us on Instagram for more stepmom content and to stay connected for future episodes @stepmomsidechats
✨ Big Ass Candles | https://bigassluxuries.com and use the code STEPMOM for a discount
✨ Leave us a review if this episode resonated with you, this helps us reach more stepmoms.

This week on Stepmom Side Chats, we sit down with co-parent coach Jay Skibbens for a conversation that goes deep, like identity-shifting, nervous-system-resetting deep.
Jay shares his powerful personal story of discovering that the children he had been raising weren’t biologically his and how that experience reshaped his understanding of resentment, emotional regulation, and what co-parenting really requires. From carrying years of anger to learning how to “cook his emotions first,” Jay breaks down why so many blended family conflicts aren’t actually about the kids: they’re about unprocessed triggers.
This episode challenges the scripts we’ve all been handed about co-parenting. It’s not about winning. It’s not about controlling the other house. It’s about learning how to stay grounded when the triggers hit, because in blended families, they will.
If you’ve ever felt dysregulated on transition day, resentful about schedules, frustrated with your spouse, or triggered by the other home, this conversation is for you.
You can find Jay on instagram at @jayskibbens or through his membership, The Grounded Coparent University.
The Grounded Coparent University is a private membership teaching regulated co-parenting through structure, tools, and repeatable growth. $49/month. Doors open March 23rd so use this link to get on the waitlist to save your spot: https://jay-skibbens.mykajabi.com/opt-in-9348c019-f9c1-4b91-8ab2-f6ad95ca18ab

✨ Pateron private stepmom communities: https://patreon.com/Stepmomsidechats
✨ Follow us on Instagram for more stepmom content and to stay connected for future episodes @stepmomsidechats
✨ Big Ass Candles | https://bigassluxuries.com and use the code STEPMOM for a discount
✨ Leave us a review if this episode resonated with you, this helps us reach more stepmoms.

In this episode of Stepmom side chats, Alyssa and Becca sit down with Gabriella Pomare Australian family lawyer, co-parent, and author of The Collaborative Co-Parent for a real conversation about what actually makes co-parenting and blended family life work.
We talk about how co-parenting changes over time, why communication and boundaries are everything, and what to do when repartnering shifts the dynamic. Gabriella breaks down the “blurred line” between step-parents and decision-making, how partners can support stepmoms with real unity and authority in the home, and why kids need consistency, even when they’re navigating two households.
We also get into high-conflict moments (like school events), resisting the urge to get pulled back into chaos when someone “plays nice,” and how staying child-focused can protect kids from the long-term impact of adult conflict.
You can connect with Gabriella on Instagram at @thegabriellapomare, where she shares practical co-parenting tips and blended family insights, and find her resources, guides, and book at thecollaborativeco-parent.com.au.

✨ Pateron private stepmom communities: https://patreon.com/Stepmomsidechats
✨ Follow us on Instagram for more stepmom content and to stay connected for future episodes: @stepmomsidechats
✨ Leave us a review if this episode resonated you, this helps us reach more stepmoms.