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My Delight with Sarah Bartel

Sarah Bartel
My Delight with Sarah Bartel
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  • What about Period Sex?
    What about having sex during your period (as a married Catholic woman)? What are some things to think about? There are no moral prohibitions to this in the Catholic faith. Different NFP methods may have guidance around avoiding period sex if you're trying to avoid pregnancy. Some women may just avoid it because they assume it's yucky, but in this episode, Sarah challenges this thought. It is beautiful to be a woman, and having a period is part of the goodness of God's plan in creating women. Sarah shares practical tips, as well as a book consideration for hormonal health, Hormone Intelligence by Aviva Romm.Related: On the Dignity and Vocation of Women, by St. John Paul II (1988) MORE RESOURCES Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women) Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10) Model-free lingerie! Get 10% off with my affiliate link for Mentionables.
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  • What about Quickies?
    Are quick lovemaking sessions (less than 20-30 min or so) a good idea in your Catholic marriage, or not? In this episode, Sarah offers some cautionary and probing questions meant to identify if quickies are helping build your unity and connection or if they're reinforcing bad habits in your love life. She draws on quotes from Church documents to identify some principles to help you discern whether they're serving the highest goals of marriage.While the Catholic Church does not offer specific guidelines or rules about how long lovemaking sessions should be, in most cases, Sarah personally recommends against quickies. God created female sexuality to normally require much more time per lovemaking session in order to operate well and thrive. Some circumstances in which quickies might be a good idea are treated in this episode.Catholic Church documents referenced in this episode:Catechism of the Catholic Church, par. 2361"Sexuality, by means of which man and woman give themselves to one another through the acts which are proper and exclusive to spouses, is not something simply biological, but concerns the innermost being of the human person as such. It is realized in a truly human way only if it is an integral part of the love by which a man and woman commit themselves totally to one another until death."Humanae Vitae, par. 17"Another effect that gives cause for alarm is that a man who grows accustomed to the use of contraceptive methods may forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires, no longer considering her as his partner whom he should surround with care and affection."Casti Connubi, par. 23"This conjugal faith, however, which is most aptly called by St. Augustine the "faith of chastity" blooms more freely, more beautifully and more nobly, when it is rooted in that more excellent soil, the love of husband and wife which pervades all the duties of married life and holds pride of place in Christian marriage. For matrimonial faith demands that husband and wife be joined in an especially holy and pure love, not as adulterers love each other, but as Christ loved the Church. This precept the Apostle laid down when he said: "Husbands, love your wives as Christ also loved the Church,"[24] that Church which of a truth He embraced with a boundless love not for the sake of His own advantage, but seeking only the good of His Spouse.[25] The love, then, of which We are speaking is not that based on the passing lust of the moment nor does it consist in pleasing words only, but in the deep attachment of the heart which is expressed in action, since love is proved by deeds.[26] This outward expression of love in the home demands not only mutual help but must go further; must have as its primary purpose that man and wife help each other day by day in forming and perfectin MORE RESOURCES Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women) Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10) Model-free lingerie! Get 10% off with my affiliate link for Mentionables.
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  • Why Discovering Your Libido Brakes and Accelerators Is Important
    What gets you in the mood? That's an accelerator. What are you libido-killers? Those are your breaks. In this episode, Sarah describes common brakes and accelerators for women.  She shares some ideas for how to learn what your own personal brakes and accelerators are, and suggests how you can use this knowledge in order to optimize your love life in your marriage.Resources mentioned in this episode.Come as You Are, Emily Nagoski (a book by a secular researcher on female sexuality0"Libido Killer" by Holderness Family Music (a humorous video, G-rated and safe for work) MORE RESOURCES Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women) Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10) Model-free lingerie! Get 10% off with my affiliate link for Mentionables.
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  • What Counts as Just Cause for Using NFP?
    How grave do your reasons need to be to use NFP to avoid pregancy? The precise language the Church uses in Humanae Vitae discussing the kinds of reasons legitimating using NFP actually refers to "just reasons," "serious reasons," or "well-grounded reasons." The phrase "grave reason" is a mistranslation which gives the misleading impression that you have to be practically on death's doorstep or so broke you're eating dirt in order to use NFP to avoid. In this episode, Sarah looks at the categories of reasons Humanae vitae mentions, and offers some specific examples. She also recommends a way to pray together as husband and wife to get on the same page about your intention to avoid or try to achieve pregnancy.Resources mentioned in the show:Humanae vitaeEveryday in Love"How to Talk about the Use and Abuse of Natural Family Planning and the Importance of Accuracy in Translation and Description," academic article by Kevin E. Miller in the Linacre Quarterly MORE RESOURCES Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women) Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10) Model-free lingerie! Get 10% off with my affiliate link for Mentionables.
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  • NFP with a Contraceptive Mentality? It's Not a Thing.
    Can you use NFP with a contraceptive mentality? Is this something to beware of? No.Sarah debunks the false worry that NFP users need to watch out for using NFP with a contraceptive mentality.She looks at the origin of the phrase in magisterial Catholic documents in its context to discover what the "contraceptive mentality" actually refers to, and points to additional references.References for This Episode:Magisterial Catholic Church Documents:Humanae vitaeFamiliaris consortio (1981, St. John Paul II)Gaudium et spes (Vatican II, read esp. paragraphs 48-52 for beautiful teachings on marriage)The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality (1995, Pontifical Council for the Family)Other References:"NFP: The Myth of the Contraceptive Mentality," article by Fr. Ryan Erlenbush"That Pesky 'Contraceptive Mentality,'" blog post by Christina Valenzuela of Pearl & ThistleThe Contraceptive Mentality is Real, But It's Probably Not What You Think, blog post by Simcha Fisher. "How to Talk about the Use and Abuse of Natural Family Planning and the Importance of Accuracy in Translation and Description," academic article by Kevin E. Miller in the Linacre Quarterly MORE RESOURCES Free Enhancing Marital Intimacy Guide for Catholic Women: 9 Skills for Body, Mind, and Spirit (for married and engaged women) Do you want to know what is allowed for Catholics in the bedroom? The "What's Allowed List" answers 20+ questions about what is licit and illicit. ($10) Model-free lingerie! Get 10% off with my affiliate link for Mentionables.
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About My Delight with Sarah Bartel

You are not broken! The culture is broken. Your expectations may be skewed. But God designed your feminine sexuality to flourish in marriage if it is honored and nurtured appropriately. This show is for Catholic women who want to know how to enjoy sex in marriage. This show helps you learn how to create a positive view of sexuality and your body in line with Catholic teaching and ALSO gain practical knowledge, tips, and scripts. If you want to know more about what it means to care for your unique, God-designed sexuality as women --so that you can thrive in your sex life in marriage and help change the culture--join in these honest, woman-centered conversations hosted by Sarah Bartel, moral theologian and Catholic sex + marriage coach. “Sexuality is a source of joy and pleasure: The Creator himself ... established that in the genitive function, spouses should experience pleasure and enjoyment of body and spirit. Therefore, the spouses do nothing evil in seeking this pleasure and enjoyment.” -Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2362
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