Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads

Season 19 gave us a front-row seat to grief, resilience, reinvention, boundaries, healing, and some seriously honest conversations. In this season finale, we look back at every guest who sat down with us, the moments that stayed with us after the microphones turned off, and how much we have both changed along the way.

Awards & Downloads

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:

https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“I want to leave behind doubt and sadness and bring with me determination and hope and love.” — Dirty Skittles

Trigger Notice + 988 Crisis Reminder

This episode includes conversations about grief, suicide loss, sexual assault, addiction, depression, trauma, and other difficult mental health experiences.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, call or text 988 in the United States to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline:

https://988lifeline.org/

For international crisis support:

https://findahelpline.com/

Episode Description

We honestly cannot believe we are wrapping up Season 19.

When we started Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads, we knew we wanted honest conversations about mental health. We didn't realize how much those conversations would change us, too.

This season brought us stories about burnout, grief, perfectionism, binge eating, difficult relationships, workplace stress, suicide loss, trauma, resilience, identity, and what it really means to reinvent yourself. Every guest brought something different into the room, but somehow each conversation left us looking at our own lives a little differently.

In this finale, we go back through every guest from Season 19 and talk about what stuck with us.

We reflect on boundaries, self-doubt, fear of failure, therapy, creativity, friendship, and the weird little things that help us stay grounded when life gets messy. We talk about learning to protect our peace, walking away from drama, giving ourselves permission to change, and understanding that trying something hard does not mean we failed just because the outcome looked different than expected.

And yes, we also talk about fishing, fantasy romance, laughing at wildly inappropriate things, and why sometimes the best mental health support is having that one person who understands exactly how your brain works.

The biggest takeaway from Season 19 is this: our stories matter, but they don't have to become our entire identity.

Season 19 is ending, and we are leaving self-doubt behind.

Keywords: mental health podcast, emotional wellness, resilience, self-doubt, boundaries, burnout recovery, grief, trauma healing, perfectionism, anxiety, personal growth, therapy, self-care, reinvention, mental health awareness

Meet Our Guests — Season 19

Season 19 gave us some unforgettable conversations, and every guest left us with something that stuck.

Diandra Ford-Wing — Diandra talked with us about severe workplace burnout, losing her mom, and what happens when grief does not fit inside somebody else’s timeline.

Justin Shaw — Justin introduced us to his “shadow and sorcerer” framework and gave us a different way to think about trauma, identity, and what happens when our unhealed parts start running the show.

David Meyer — David reminded us how powerful creativity can be when writing, poetry, storytelling, and self-expression become part of how we process what is going on inside our heads.

Rocio & Angel — Rocio and Angel shared their work around women’s identity, growth, and transformation through The Orchid: The Secret Code of Modern Goddesses, while also showing us what genuine partnership and mutual respect can look like.

Mandi Lynne — Mandi opened up about being a recovering perfectionist and learning how to stop tying her worth to being extraordinary all the time.

Amber Abila — Amber shared her experience with restrictive eating, binge eating, and bulimia, along with the work it took to rebuild her relationship with food and herself.

Barbara Parker — Barbara talked about perfectionism, divorce, rebuilding her life, and learning that sometimes “good enough” really is enough.

Regent Cornell — Regent reminded us why the conversations we most want to avoid are often the ones we need to have, especially when work, relationships, and mental health collide.

Stephanie Renner — Stephanie shared the heartbreaking loss of her son Jordan and how she has turned that grief into meaningful ways of reminding people that they matter.

Noah May — Noah opened up about the circumstances surrounding his conception, the mental health struggles that followed, and how podcasting helped him find his voice.

John Carter — John shared an unbelievable story of surviving being shot in the head, depression, addiction, jail, and major life changes before rebuilding a life centered around fatherhood, fitness, and resilience.

Key Takeaways

Healing does not happen on somebody else’s schedule. Grief, trauma, and burnout do not care what a policy says.

What happened to us can shape us without becoming the only thing that defines us.

Boundaries can feel uncomfortable, but protecting our peace is worth it.

Trying something difficult and getting an unexpected result does not automatically mean we failed.

We can reinvent ourselves at any age. There is no expiration date on becoming somebody new.

Mental health support does not always look serious. Sometimes it is therapy. Sometimes it is laughter. Sometimes it is fishing, fantasy books, a phone game, or calling the one person who understands your sense of humor.

Actionable Items

Ask yourself what you are ready to leave behind in this season of your life. Write down what you want to replace it with.

Pick one boundary that would make your life feel lighter and practice holding it without overexplaining yourself.

Start your own joy folder. Fill it with photos, memories, screenshots, quotes, or anything else that reminds you what makes you feel like yourself.

Important Chapters

00:00:37 — Welcome to the Season 19 Finale

00:03:48 — How Much We Have Changed

00:08:23 — Diandra Ford-Wing: Burnout, Grief, and Work

00:10:17 — Justin Shaw: Your Shadow Is Not Your Identity

00:11:32 — David Meyer: Creativity and Mental Health

00:12:53 — Rocio & Angel: Identity, Partnership, and The Orchid

00:14:04 — Mandi Lynne: Recovering From Perfectionism

00:15:22 — Amber Abila: Binge Eating and Understanding the Why

00:16:39 — Barbara Parker: When Good Enough Is Good Enough

00:18:24 — Regent Cornell: Having the Conversations We Avoid

00:20:13 — Stephanie Renner: Grief, Jordan, and Letting People Know They Matter

00:21:51 — Noah May: Finding His Voice Through Podcasting

00:22:54 — John Carter: Survival, Resilience, and Rebuilding

00:24:18 — Five Questions for Us

00:26:14 — The Ridiculous Things That Actually Help Our Mental Health

00:27:25 — Friendship as Mental Health Support

00:30:10 — What We Are Leaving Behind in Season 19

00:31:01 — Thank You, Season 19

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!

Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:

https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #Season19 #MentalHealthJourney #EmotionalWellness #Resilience #HealingJourney #PersonalGrowth #HealthyBoundaries #BurnoutRecovery #GriefSupport #TraumaHealing #SelfDoubt #TherapyWorks #FindingJoy #MentalHealthCommunity #Reinvention

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens after you survive something that should have killed you? In Part 2, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles continue their conversation with John Carter about waking from a coma, living with permanent injuries, maintaining long-term sobriety, choosing forgiveness, staying grateful, and turning a brutal past into a life of purpose.

Awards & Downloads

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“Never give up. You are much stronger than you think.” — John Carter

Trigger Notice + 988 Crisis Reminder

This episode includes conversations about gun violence, addiction, overdose, incarceration, depression, disability, and loss. Please take care of yourself while listening.
If you or someone you know is in crisis or needs immediate emotional support in the United States, call or text 988 or visit:

https://988lifeline.org/

For crisis resources outside the U.S.:

https://findahelpline.com/

Episode Description

In Part 2 of John Carter’s story, G-Rex and Dirty Skittles go deeper into the moments that shaped the man he is today—and the mindset that keeps him moving forward.
John describes the vivid dream he experienced while unconscious after being shot in the head. In the dream, he was repeatedly challenged to swim a race he could not win until an unknown older man appeared, coached him, and refused to let him quit. John eventually won the race—and woke up. To him, that mysterious coach represented a higher power delivering a message that would follow him for the rest of his life: keep going.

The conversation explores the long road of physical recovery, John’s decision not to carry hatred toward the man who shot him, and why he sees accountability differently after surviving the consequences of his own choices.

John also talks about maintaining sobriety by refusing to forget how bad addiction became. Today, storytelling, speaking at recovery centers, mentoring younger people, training clients, supporting Mobility Danes of New England, and being present for his children and grandchildren all help keep him connected to his purpose.

He is candid about one challenge that remains difficult: accepting changes in his mobility. But instead of pretending those feelings don't exist, John keeps returning to gratitude.

His message is beautifully simple: never give up, accept help when it comes, and remember that you may be stronger than adversity has allowed you to believe.

Keywords: John Carter, trauma recovery, long-term sobriety, addiction recovery, forgiveness, gratitude, resilience, mental health recovery, overcoming adversity, purpose after trauma, disability awareness, personal growth, second chances, recovery motivation, never give up

Meet Our Guest — John Carter

John Carter is a personal trainer, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, author, and owner of Titanium Health and Fitness in Boston. After surviving a near-fatal gunshot, addiction, incarceration, disability, and profound loss, John rebuilt his life and now uses his experience to help others through fitness, speaking, recovery advocacy, mentorship, and service.
His first book, Triggered to Change, documents a life he describes as having contained “a hundred lives”—and the second chances that made his current one possible.

Website: https://www.johncarterauthor.com/

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Triggered-Change-Life-Full-Turbulence/dp/B0DWLVRWW5

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fitnessbycarter

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@turbulencebook

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/turbulencebook_/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-carter-b29a0a337/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@titaniumfitnessbr?_t=ZP-8wcklttkhhe&_r=1

Key Takeaways

Long-term recovery requires remembering where addiction can take you—not romanticizing where you came from.

Forgiveness can mean recognizing your own choices without carrying hatred for someone else.

Purpose often grows when we turn painful experiences into something that can help another person.

Accepting help can be every bit as important as having the strength to keep fighting.

Gratitude does not erase difficulty; it changes what you choose to focus on inside it.

Being present for the people you love can become one of the strongest reasons to protect your recovery.

Actionable Items

Write down the reality of a difficult period you never want to return to. Keep it somewhere you can revisit when your memory starts softening the hard edges.

Identify one way your lived experience could help someone else—even if it is simply having an honest conversation.

When adversity hits, replace “I can’t do this” with one smaller question: “What is the next thing I can do without giving up?”

References Mentioned

John Carter’s website:  https://www.johncarterauthor.com/

John Carter’s memoir, Triggered to Change:  https://www.amazon.com/Triggered-Change-Life-Full-Turbulence/dp/B0DWLVRWW5

John Carter’s TEDx talk is available through his website:  https://www.johncarterauthor.com/

Mobility Danes of New England:  https://www.mobilitydanesofnewengland.com/

Books for Prison: https://prisonbookprogram.org/

Important Chapters

00:00:53 — What Happened After John Was Shot

00:01:30 — The Dream John Remembers From His Coma

00:04:18 — Waking Up Unable to Move or Speak

00:05:19 — Physical Recovery and Aqua Therapy

00:06:43 — What Happened to the Man Who Shot John

00:07:23 — Choosing Accountability Over Resentment

00:09:03 — John’s Documentary and What Comes Next

00:10:20 — Getting His Book Into Prisons

00:11:25 — How John Maintains His Sobriety

00:12:27 — Being Present for His Family

00:14:37 — Accepting Changes in His Mobility

00:18:00 — Fatherhood After Prison

00:19:23 — What John Would Tell His Younger Self

00:22:19 — John’s Advice: Never Give Up

00:23:00 — Anxiety, Turbulence, and the Word John Hates Most

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:

https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #TraumaRecovery #SobrietyJourney #AddictionRecovery #NeverGiveUp #Forgiveness #GratitudePractice #PurposeAfterTrauma #SecondChances #Resilience #RecoveryIsPossible #DisabilityAwareness #PersonalGrowth #RecoveryMotivation #TriggeredToChange #JohnCarter

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

At 22, John Carter survived a point-blank gunshot to the back of the head—but surviving the bullet was only the beginning. G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with John for Part 1 of an unbelievable conversation about organized crime, depression, addiction, prison, sobriety, physical recovery, and the people who helped him fight his way back.

Awards & Downloads

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“Tomorrow might not be here for you, so take advantage of it.” — John Carter

Trigger Notice + 988 Crisis Reminder

This episode includes conversations about gun violence, addiction, incarceration, depression, overdose, and loss. Please take care of yourself while listening.
If you or someone you know is in crisis or needs immediate emotional support in the United States, call or text 988 or visit:

https://988lifeline.org/

For crisis resources outside the U.S.:

https://findahelpline.com/

Episode Description

John Carter has lived through the kind of story that sounds impossible until you hear him tell it. Raised around organized crime and determined to follow in his father’s footsteps, John entered a dangerous world that nearly killed him. At just 22, he was shot point-blank in the back of the head. He survived—but the aftermath brought disability, depression, alcohol, drugs, and eventually dealing drugs to support his addiction.
In Part 1, John joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to talk about the moments that changed the direction of his life. After his arrest, he found himself sitting in a police department parking lot at more than 300 pounds, using a wheelchair, broke, addicted, and out of options. A trip to detox—and a woman named Deb who showed him what recovery could look like—became the beginning of something different.

John also shares how a 10-year prison sentence ultimately became part of his second chance. Inside, three men who had known his father refused to let him stay in his wheelchair. They brought him to the prison gym, trained with him, and helped him rebuild his body until he eventually walked out of prison.

The conversation also explores grief, the loss of John’s brothers to addiction, the importance of asking for help, and the unexpected purpose he found through personal training and service dogs.

John’s story isn’t about pretending trauma was a gift. It’s about what can happen when you keep getting back up.

Keywords: John Carter, addiction recovery, mental health recovery, sobriety, trauma recovery, depression, prison rehabilitation, resilience, second chances, organized crime survivor, personal transformation, service dogs, recovery community, fitness and mental health, overcoming adversity

Meet Our Guest — John Carter

John Carter is a personal trainer, motivational speaker, entrepreneur, author, and owner of Titanium Health and Fitness, a private gym in Boston. After surviving a near-fatal gunshot, addiction, incarceration, and profound personal loss, John rebuilt his life around sobriety, service, fitness, and helping others believe that change is still possible.
His memoir, Triggered to Change, shares his journey from organized crime and addiction to recovery, purpose, and second chances.

Website: https://www.johncarterauthor.com/

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Triggered-Change-Life-Full-Turbulence/dp/B0DWLVRWW5

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fitnessbycarter

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@turbulencebook

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/turbulencebook_/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/john-carter-b29a0a337/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@titaniumfitnessbr?_t=ZP-8wcklttkhhe&_r=1

Key Takeaways

Recovery can begin at the moment you finally admit you need help.

Getting sober does not make every problem disappear, but it gives you a fighting chance to face them.

A painful consequence can sometimes become the interruption that saves a life.

Asking for help is not weakness—it can completely change the direction of your story.

Physical movement and fitness became powerful tools in John’s rebuilding process.

The people who believe in you can matter enormously, but you still have to choose the next right step.

Actionable Items

Make a recovery plan before you need it. Identify the people, places, and resources you can turn to when life becomes overwhelming.

Look honestly at the environments that pull you backward. Sometimes protecting your progress means changing where you go and who you spend time with.

Find one healthy practice that helps you reconnect with your body—walking, strength training, stretching, swimming, or another form of movement that meets you where you are.

Important Chapters

00:01:02 — John Introduces His Story

00:02:25 — Growing Up Around Organized Crime

00:03:03 — Surviving the Gunshot

00:04:00 — Addiction, Arrest, and Hitting Bottom

00:05:09 — Meeting Deb and Seeing Recovery Differently

00:06:00 — A 10-Year Prison Sentence

00:07:29 — Making a Plan Instead of Giving Up

00:09:13 — Rebuilding His Body in Prison

00:12:14 — The Lesson John’s Father Taught Him About Quitting

00:16:55 — Entering Prison at 24

00:18:31 — Facing Temptation After Prison

00:19:40 — Losing His Brothers to Addiction

00:21:16 — Turbulence and the Power of Service Dogs

00:26:21 — Turning His Story Into a TEDx Talk

00:29:46 — Finding Purpose Through Speaking and Service

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:

https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #AddictionRecovery #SobrietyJourney #TraumaRecovery #SecondChances #RecoveryIsPossible #OvercomingAdversity #Resilience #PrisonRehabilitation #DepressionRecovery #ServiceDogs #FitnessAndMentalHealth #RecoveryCommunity #NeverGiveUp #TriggeredToChange #JohnCarter

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when years of depression, anxiety, bullying, and feeling like an outsider finally meet a microphone? G-Rex and Dirty Skittles sit down with Noah May to talk about surviving some of his darkest moments, finding connection when he needed it most, and discovering that using his voice through podcasting could become part of his healing.

Awards & Downloads

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listened to in over 160 countries.

Feedback

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“Stay strong and don’t let it all bring you down. You got to keep fighting.” — Noah May

Episode Description

Noah May has been navigating depression since he was 13 and anxiety since he was 18, but his story is about more than diagnoses. It’s about what happens when loneliness, bullying, complicated family history, and feeling like you don’t belong start shaping the way you see yourself — and what can happen when you finally find a way to speak back.
In this deeply personal conversation, Noah joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to talk about growing up without his biological father, learning the painful circumstances surrounding his conception, being bullied by classmates, and wondering whether he was ever good enough. He also opens up about starting therapy, struggling to be completely honest during those early sessions, and later realizing that healing sometimes requires finding the right outlet — not just following someone else’s version of what recovery should look like.

For Noah, one of those outlets became podcasting.

After graduating from Auburn University with a journalism degree, Noah faced another familiar fear: What if all that work had been for nothing? Instead of giving up, he leaned harder into creating. Today, he hosts three podcasts — Lethal Venom, Music Talks, and Southern Reads — and uses his platform to tell the truth, connect with people, and create the kind of space he once needed himself.

Noah’s story reminds us that life rarely follows the damn plan. Sometimes healing looks like therapy. Sometimes it looks like friendship. Sometimes it looks like music, books, or sitting behind a microphone and finally saying the things you’ve carried for years.

Keywords: Noah May, depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, mental health recovery, podcasting and mental health, bullying recovery, loneliness, finding your voice, emotional healing, therapy, young adult mental health, mental health advocacy, overcoming adversity, healing through storytelling

Meet Our Guest — Noah May

Noah May is an Auburn University graduate with a bachelor’s degree in journalism and the host of three podcasts: Lethal Venom, Music Talks, and Southern Reads. After navigating depression, anxiety, bullying, loneliness, and periods of suicidal thinking, Noah turned his experiences into a reason to speak openly and create conversations where others can feel seen, heard, and less alone.
Website: https://www.noahspodcasts.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/713902225134300

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenoahshowww

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/noah-c-may

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thenoahshowww

X: https://www.x.com/noahspodcasts

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/noahspodcasts

Lethal Venom:

https://noahspodcasts.com/lethal-venom

Music Talks:

https://noahspodcasts.com/music-talks

Southern Reads:

https://noahspodcasts.com/southern-reads

Key Takeaways

Your past can shape you without getting the final say in who you become.

Depression and anxiety can make you feel isolated, but hearing someone else’s story can remind you that you aren’t the only one carrying heavy shit.

Finding the right mental health support may take time, honesty, and sometimes more than one therapist or healing approach.

Creative expression can become a powerful emotional outlet when you've buried feelings for years.

Supportive friendships can completely change the way we experience difficult seasons.

Life rarely unfolds exactly according to plan, and that doesn’t mean you failed.

Actionable Items

Find one safe outlet where you can say what you’ve been holding back — whether that’s therapy, journaling, podcasting, voice notes, art, or a trusted person.

Take inventory of the people around you. Pay attention to who makes you feel supported, heard, and able to be yourself.

When your original plan falls apart, ask yourself, “What can I build with what I have right now?” instead of automatically assuming you failed.

Important Chapters

00:00 — Meet Noah May

01:45 — Noah’s Childhood and Family Story

06:38 — Bullying and Growing Up Without a Father

08:11 — Depression and Anxiety Begin

09:12 — Starting College During COVID

12:52 — Why Noah Chose Journalism

15:00 — Turning a Dream Into Podcasting

16:38 — Podcasting as a Therapeutic Outlet

19:59 — Building Three Podcasts

21:05 — Music and Mental Health

23:14 — Rediscovering Reading

26:15 — Therapy and Learning to Open Up

28:28 — Giving Anxiety a Theme Song

29:53 — Advice to Noah’s 12-Year-Old Self

30:52 — The Hardest Lesson Noah Has Learned

32:15 — Noah’s Favorite Word

33:32 — Where to Find Noah

Closing CTA

Subscribe, Rate, and Review!
Remember to subscribe for more inspiring stories. Rate and review us on your favorite podcast platform, or visit our Website:

https://goesoninourheads.net/add-your-podcast-reviews

#MentalHealthPodcast #MentalHealthAwareness #Grex #DirtySkittles #Podmatch #DepressionAwareness #AnxietyAwareness #SuicidePrevention #MentalHealthRecovery #HealingJourney #PodcastingForHealing #FindingYourVoice #YoungAdultMentalHealth #BullyingRecovery #EmotionalWellness #MentalHealthAdvocate #HealingThroughStorytelling #YouAreNotAlone #OvercomingAdversity #NoahMay

***************************************************************************
If You Need Support, Reach Out
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a crisis hotline in your area. Remember, it’s OK not to be OK—talking to someone can make all the difference.
United States: Call or Text 988 — 988lifeline.org
Canada: Call or Text 988 — 988.ca
Worldwide: Find a Helpline
Mental Health Resources and Tools: The Help Hub
Stay Connected with G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Official Website: goesoninourheads.net
Facebook: @shltthatgoesoninourheads
Instagram: @grex_and_dirtyskittles
LinkedIn: G-Rex and Dirty Skittles
Join Our Newsletter: (https://grexanddirtyskittles.substack.com/)
Merch Store: goesoninourheads.shop
Audio Editing by NJz Audio

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Grief has a way of dragging us back into every decision, every conversation, and every painful “what if.” In this deeply personal episode, Stephanie Renner joins G-Rex and Dirty Skittles to talk about losing her son Jordan to suicide, the guilt and regret that followed, and how she learned to keep moving forward without letting the past define the rest of her life.

Awards & Downloads Line

Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads is a 2024 People’s Choice Podcast Award Winner (Best Health), 2024 Women in Podcasting Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), 2026 Podcast Tonight Award Winner (Best Mental Health Podcast), and 2026 NYC Podcast Award Audience Choice Winner (Best Hosts), with over 4.5 million downloads and listeners in more than 160 countries.

Feedback Link Line

We’d love to hear your thoughts! Leave us written or voice feedback here:
https://castfeedback.com/67521f0bde0b101c7b10442a

Mental Health Quote

“Love is not measured by the outcome.” — Stephanie Renner

Trigger Notice + 988 Crisis Reminder

This episode includes candid conversations about suicide, suicidal ideation, self-harm, grief, and the loss of a child. Please take care of yourself while listening and step away if you need to.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis in the United States, call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. https://988lifeline.org/

For crisis support outside the United States: https://findahelpline.com/

Episode Description

After losing her father, her mother, and her oldest son within a six-year span, Stephanie Renner knows what it feels like to replay the past and wonder what could have been different.
In this raw and deeply human conversation, Stephanie opens up to G-Rex and Dirty Skittles about her son Jordan, who died by suicide shortly before his nineteenth birthday. She shares what it was like raising a deeply empathetic young man who struggled for years with suicidal ideation, mental health challenges, and the feeling that he did not quite fit into the world around him.

Stephanie also speaks honestly about the guilt that can follow devastating loss. The questions come fast and hard: What if I had found the right therapist? What if I had been home? What if I had made one different decision? She calls them the “if-onlys,” and she knows firsthand how easily they can become a prison.

Over time, Stephanie began to understand that loving someone deeply does not mean you can control their outcome. That realization became one of the most important lessons of her life: Love is not measured by the outcome.

She also shares the unexpected signs that have helped her feel connected to Jordan, the community that surrounded her when she could barely function, and the ways grief changed her perspective on fear, work, and what actually matters.

After nearly 25 years as an attorney, Stephanie stepped away from the life she built and moved toward something more meaningful. Today, through her Regret to Resilience Method, she helps people work through regret, guilt, and shame after trauma or loss.

She also founded Gilly’s Friends in Jordan’s memory, turning his kindness into a lasting reminder: You matter. You’re loved.

Keywords: Stephanie Renner, Regret to Resilience, grief, grief recovery, suicide loss, suicide prevention, parental grief, guilt after loss, regret, emotional healing, self-forgiveness, resilience, trauma recovery, mental health awareness, finding purpose after loss

Meet Our Guest — Stephanie Renner

Stephanie Renner is a keynote speaker, writer, attorney, nonprofit founder, and creator of The Regret to Resilience Method. Her work helps people release regret, guilt, and shame after trauma or loss so they can move forward with greater purpose, confidence, and self-compassion.
Her work is deeply personal. After losing her father, mother, and oldest son, Jordan, within six years, Stephanie turned her own experience with grief into a mission to help others stop allowing the past to control what comes next.

She is also the founder of Gilly’s Friends, a nonprofit created in Jordan “Gilly” Guilford’s memory that spreads intentional acts of kindness and reminds people that they matter and are loved.

Website: https://www.stephanierennerspeaks.com

Gilly’s Friends: https://gillysfriends.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/srrnd/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stephanie.renner2

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephanierenner/

Key Takeaways

Love is not measured by the outcome. You can love someone completely and still not control what happens.

Regret often lives in the “if-onlys,” where we convince ourselves that one different choice would have changed everything.

Grief does not mean forgetting someone or moving on from them. It can mean learning to carry love and loss at the same time.

Support matters. Sometimes the people who simply show up, sit with you, feed you, and stay close make survival possible.

Belonging matters, especially for young people who feel like they do not fit anywhere.

Purpose can grow alongside grief. Stephanie transformed Jordan’s legacy of kindness into work that continues to help other people feel seen and valued.

Actionable Items

Challenge one “if-only.” Write down a regret you keep replaying and ask yourself whether you truly know that changing that one moment would have changed the outcome.

Know who your people are. Identify two or three people you can call when life gets heavy, and consider whether someone in your life may need you to be that person for them.

Do one intentional act of kindness. Send the text. Make the call. Buy the coffee. Check in. Small moments can carry more weight than we realize.

Important Chapters

00:00 – Meet Stephanie Renner

02:30 – Signs From Jordan and Staying Connected After Loss

08:15 – Jordan’s Mental Health Journey

12:00 – Surviving the Loss of a Child

13:35 – The “If-Onlys” of Grief and Regret

18:50 – One of Stephanie and Jordan’s Final Conversations

21:45 – Mental Health, Shame, and Creating a Kinder World

23:30 – The Community That Carried Stephanie

26:15 – Losing Fear After Losing So Much

26:55 – Grieving a Son While Losing a Mother to Alzheimer’s

29:30 – From Attorney to Regret to Resilience

31:00 – Letting Go of Mother’s Day Guilt

33:30 – Care Bears, Raccoons, and Signs From Beyond

41:25 – What Stephanie Would Tell a Younger Jordan

44:25 – Love Is Not Measured by the Outcome

45:40 – Favorite Word, Least Favorite Word

46:10 – Regret to Resilience

47:05 – Gilly’s Friends and Jordan’s Legacy of Kindness

Closing CTA

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