Faith & Feelings

The depth of our relationships is often shaped by the depth of our communication. Not just what we say, but how we say it...and even more than that, why we say it.

Communication isn’t just a skill we learn. it’s something that’s been formed in us. Through our stories, our families, our attachment, the environments that shaped us long before we had language for any of it.

In today’s conversation, I’m joined by therapist and author Jason VanRuler to explore the different communication patterns we tend to fall into, how those patterns are formed, and what it looks like to grow in self-awareness so that our friendships can actually deepen. We also talk about hard conversations: why they matter, why they’re so difficult, and how learning to step into them can become one of the most meaningful pathways to connection. I hope you'll listen in.

Check out Jason's new book Discovering Your Communication Type ⁠here⁠.

Thought-provoking quotes:

“Our ability to have relationships hangs on our ability to communicate.” - Jason VanRuler

“Some of us are starters in relationships, and some of us are sustainers...but lasting relationships require depth. Depth requires self-awareness, and the ability to understand where someone else is coming from.” - Jason VanRuler

“A good communicator understands themselves. A great communicator understands other people.” - Jason VanRuler

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Key words:

communication, relationships, friendship, connection, conflict, vulnerability, attachment, self-awareness, communication styles, communication patterns, growth, trust, intimacy, emotions, listening, honesty, Jason VanRuler

Vulnerability is often talked about as openness, but what if it’s actually about capacity?

In this episode, we continue our series on friendships by exploring what it really takes to share our inner world with one another in a meaningful way.

Drawing from Dr. David Schnarch’s work on the Four Points of Balance, we look at vulnerability not just as something we do, but as something we practice within relationship. From developing a Solid Flexible Self, to cultivating a Quiet Mind & Calm Heart, to practicing Grounded Responding and Meaningful Endurance, this episode unpacks how we stay rooted in ourselves while building deeper, more honest friendships.

I invite us to rethink vulnerability, not as raw exposure, but as a lived, relational balance that shapes the way we show up in our friendships.

Thought-provoking quotes:

“For every one of us, vulnerability has told a story in our lives...not always directly, but through our experiences. Through the moments we’ve shared something real, and how those moments were received.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“We all carry an inner world: a rich, complex web of thoughts, feelings, and experiences that shapes who we are. But expressing that inner world, learning how to put it into words and share it with someone else, takes time and practice.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“Vulnerability isn’t just about being open. It’s about being present. It’s about staying connected to yourself while also staying connected to someone else.” - Taylor Joy Murray

Get Faith & Feeling's weekly resource email

Watch this episode on YouTube

Grab a copy of my book Stop Saying I'm Fine

Connect with me on my website

Find me on Instagram @__taylorjoy__

Key words:

friendship, authentic relationships, emotional safety, community, vulnerability, loneliness, connection, intimacy, curiosity, authenticity, personal growth, spiritual formation, courage, compassion, self-awareness

How do we actually cultivate deeper friendships? The kind where we don’t have to perform, hide, or carry the weight of our lives alone?

In this episode, we begin a new series on soul friendships: relationships marked by honesty, presence, and a shared attentiveness to God’s work in our lives. But before we talk about how to build them, we start with something more honest: the tension so many of us feel between our longing to be known and our instinct to hide.

We also unpack what soul friendships really are, where the idea comes from, and the key markers that set them apart…from authenticity and openness to a lack of agenda and a shared curiosity about where God is at work. These kinds of friendships don’t just support our lives. They shape them. And they become spaces where we are seen, formed, and invited into deeper connection with both God and others.

Thought-provoking quotes:

“Love doesn’t actually allow for that kind of hiding. Love invites our whole selves and our whole stories out into the light.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“We were made for spaces where the broken and the beautiful parts of our lives can be held together, without fear of being too much or not enough.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“Spiritual friendships are not built on performance, but on a kind of self-giving love that has its source in God.” - Taylor Joy Murray

“Friendship becomes a kind of relational mirror: a space where we come to know ourselves more truthfully because we are seen, reflected, and responded to by another person.” - Taylor Joy Murray

Get Faith & Feeling's weekly resource email

Watch this episode on YouTube

Grab a copy of my book Stop Saying I'm Fine

Connect with me on my website

Find me on Instagram @__taylorjoy__

Key words:

friendship, authentic relationships, emotional safety, community, vulnerability, loneliness, connection, intimacy, curiosity, authenticity, personal growth, spiritual formation, courage, compassion, self-awareness

In this episode, I invite us into a guided time of imaginative prayer — a contemplative practice rooted in the early church mothers and fathers that helps us encounter God in a personal, embodied way.

Together, we step into a crowded home in Luke 5, where a group of friends carries someone they love to Jesus. As we enter this scene, we slow down, engage our senses, and notice what stirs within us as we witness their persistence, their love, and the vulnerability of being seen and known.

I hope you'll join me as we walk onto the scene of Luke 5:17–20, 24–26 and ask the Spirit to speak to us through this story.

Get Faith & Feeling's weekly resource email

Watch this episode on YouTube

Grab a copy of my book Stop Saying I'm Fine

Connect with me on my website

Find me on Instagram @__taylorjoy__

Key words:

friendship, authentic relationships, emotional safety, imaginative prayer, guided reflection, vulnerability, loneliness, connection, intimacy, curiosity, authenticity, personal growth, spiritual formation, courage, compassion, self-awareness

I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately. Not the surface-level kind, but the kind that actually sees you. The kind that knows the messy, unedited parts of your life…and stays.

In my own life and in my work with clients, I keep noticing the same patterns: we hold back, self-edit, and worry we’re “too much.” Beneath those fears, though, is a quiet longing: to be known, understood, and truly seen.

In this new series, we’ll explore that longing and the courageous work it takes to step into deeper friendship. Through conversations with guests and reflections from my own work as a therapist, we’ll talk about vulnerability, emotional safety, and the skills that help deepen relationships.

Get Faith & Feeling's weekly resource email

Watch this episode on YouTube

Grab a copy of my book Stop Saying I'm Fine

Connect with me on my website

Find me on Instagram @__taylorjoy__

Key words:

friendship, authentic relationships, emotional safety, vulnerability, loneliness, connection, intimacy, curiosity, authenticity, personal growth, spiritual formation, courage, compassion, self-awareness,