The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

Forgiveness might sound simple, but it's hard to let go of the anger that comes with being deeply hurt. Grudges, bitterness, and frustration with life’s unfairness can quietly build up over time and take a real toll on our mental and physical health.
As The Happiness Lab kicks off a new season on spring cleaning your wellbeing, Dr. Laurie sits down with psychologist Dr. Fred Luskin, director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, to explore what research says about forgiveness. Why is letting go of resentment so much harder than it sounds? And what does it really mean to forgive someone?
Plus, we revisit a powerful story from the archives that shows what forgiveness can look like in the face of profound loss and why it might be the most radical act of self-care we can take.
Experts Referenced:
Dr. Fred Luskin, psychologist and director of the Stanford Forgiveness Projects
Miroslav Volf, Professor of Theology at Yale Divinity School and founder of the Yale Center for Faith & Culture
Katy Milkman, Professor at The Wharton School, University of Pennsylvania
Resources Mentioned:
"Put Your Imperfections Behind You: Temporal Landmarks Spur Goal Initiation When They Signal New Beginnings," by Hengchen Dai, Katherine L. Milkman, and Jason Riis (Psychological Science, 2015)
Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness, by Fred Luskin (2002)
“Effects of a Group Forgiveness Intervention on Forgiveness, Perceived Stress, and Trait-Anger” by Alex H. S. Harris, Frederic Luskin, Sonya B. Norman, Sam Standard, Jennifer Bruning, Stephanie Evans, and Carl E. Thoresen (Journal of Clinical Psychology, 2006)
“Forgiveness and Conflict Resolution in Marriage” by Frank D. Fincham, Steven R. H. Beach, and Joanne Davila (Journal of Family Psychology, 2004)
Free of Charge: Giving and Forgiving in a Culture Stripped of Grace, by Miroslav Volf (2006)
Related Episodes:
"Happiness Lessons of the Ancients: Forgiveness" (The Happiness Lab, 2021)
"A New Hope" (The Happiness Lab, 2020)
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Why is social media so hard to quit? We waste hours scrolling, feel worse when we log off, and still find ourselves going back for more.
Dr. Laurie sits down with Dr. Cass Sunstein, co-author of (00:00:57) Nudge, to explore a new concept from the 2026 World Happiness Report: the “product trap.” Together, they unpack why we keep returning to platforms that make us unhappy — and what it might take to finally break free.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Technopoly: The Surrender of Culture to Technology
Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness
“World Happiness Report 2026”
“The Problem of Social Cost”
“Valuing Facebook”
“The Welfare Effects of Social Media”
“When Product Markets Become Collective Traps: The Case of Social Media”
“Libertarian Paternalism Is Not an Oxymoron”
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Over the past decade, rates of depression and loneliness have surged among young people. Many researchers point to one major change: the rise of smartphones and social media. But what does the data actually show?
Psychologist Jean Twenge has spent years studying how technology shapes adolescent happiness. Dr. Laurie sits down with her to unpack new findings from the 2026 World Happiness Report on how social media use affects teen wellbeing around the world.
What happens when kids spend hours a day on these platforms? Is any amount of social media actually beneficial? And what can we all do to build healthier relationships with our phones, regardless of age?
Resources mentioned in this episode:
“What is the International Day of Happiness?”
“World Happiness Report 2026”
iGen: Why Today's Super-Connected Kids Are Growing Up Less Rebellious, More Tolerant, Less Happy—and Completely Unprepared for Adulthood
“Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation?”
“National Trends in the Prevalence and Treatment of Depression in Adolescents and Young Adults”
“Pew Research Center Mobile Fact Sheet”
“Increases in Depression, Self‐Harm, and Suicide Among U.S. Adolescents After 2012 and Links to Technology Use: Possible Mechanisms”
“The Effects of Social Media Restriction: Meta-Analytic Evidence from Randomized controlled Trials”
“Am I Happier Without You? Social Media Detox and Well-Being: A Meta-Analysis of Randomized Controlled Trials”
PISA 2022 Database
10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World: How Parents Can Stop Smartphones, Social Media, and Gaming from Taking Over Their Children's Lives
“Over 20,000 Educators Share Insights on School Cell Phone Policies”
“Managing Student Digital Distraction in the College Classroom: a Self-Determination Theory Perspective”
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Work doesn’t end when the workday does. Even after we close our laptops, our minds keep replaying awkward meetings, looming deadlines, and unfinished to-do lists. Over time, that “always on” mentality can quietly hijack our relationships, our health, and our happiness.
Dr. Laurie sits down with psychologist and bestselling author Guy Winch (Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life) to explore the science of work stress — and why so many of us get stuck in fight-or-flight mode long after we’ve left the office.
Plus, Ben Walter, host of “The Unshakeables” and CEO of Chase for Business, shares what he’s learned from working with small business owners who don’t have the option to simply “clock out.”
If you’ve ever felt like work is bleeding into everything, this episode offers science-based tools to help you take your life back.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Mind Over Grind: How to Break Free When Work Hijacks Your Life
"Burnout: A Review of Theory and Measurement"
"The Relationship Between Workplace Stressors and Mortality and Health Costs in the United States"
"How Small Businesses Drive the American Economy"
"Small Business Facts"
“The Unshakeables”
"Yerkes-Dodson Law Of Arousal And Performance"
“The Use of Imagery to Manipulate Challenge and Threat Appraisal States in Athletes”
“Rebuilding After a Blaze: Luna Gourmet Coffee & Tea”
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In Part 2 of Dr. Laurie’s conversation with researchers Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, we learn how couples can raise complaints without damaging their relationship — and how to respond constructively when a partner voices a concern. Their research shows that fighting doesn’t have to pull couples apart. When handled well, conflict can actually make relationships stronger.
Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman.
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