BEING HER with Margarita Nazarenko

Join Selfish 30 in December
He was perfect at the beginning. He was planning things, texting back, laughing at your jokes. And then something shifted.

Here is the truth. He might not have changed at all. You might have.

In this episode Margarita breaks down exactly why relationships feel different once you fall in love, why trying harder almost always makes things worse, and what the woman who keeps her power actually does differently.

In this episode:
1. The man you met versus the man you are dating now
2. Sometimes pursuit was the point and you need to know the difference
3. The moment you stop evaluating him and start seeking his approval
4. When love becomes fear and anxious attachment takes over
5. You start rewarding the behaviour you did not want
6. The difference between security and complacency
7. You made him the most important person in your life
8. Why trying harder almost always makes things worse
9. What to actually do when he has genuinely changed
10. The woman who does not change when she falls in love

If the more you do the less he appreciates it, if you cannot tell if he has changed or you have, or if you have become the puppy dog chasing the cat, this one is going to change how you see everything.

Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita

Mentioned in this episode:
Unbothered by Margarita Nazarenko
Detach Course

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.
Love you lots like jelly tots xx
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Attachment styles, nervous system regulation, shadow work, journaling, manifesting, boundaries, glow ups. At what point does self-improvement stop being self-love and start becoming evidence that you don’t actually like yourself? In this episode, Margarita turns the lens on the self-help world she’s part of and breaks down, with research to back it up, why the obsession with fixing yourself can keep you stuck. She explains the self-discrepancy trap, how perfectionism and comparison erode your self-worth, and why endlessly learning about boundaries is an illusion of progress.
Chapters
The Self-Discrepancy Trap
Perfectionism
Experiential Avoidance
The Illusion of Progress
When Self-Improvement Becomes Procrastination
Social Comparison
Hedonic Adaptation
The Self-Criticism Spiral
When Healing Becomes Your Identity
Your 2027 Goal: Psychological Flexibility

If you have been in healing mode for years but nothing has actually changed, if you know all the theory but cannot seem to do the thing, or if you are preparing to live your life instead of just living it, this one is for you.

Join Selfish 30 in December, the last round before a break until later in 2027
Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita
Unbothered by Margarita Nazarenko
To learn more about Margarita Nazarenko, visit https://www.margaritanazarenko.com

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms. Love you lots like jelly tots xx
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Join Selfish 30, Margarita’s 30-day challenge, now running again in December
In this episode she answers your real questions on narcissists, porn, situationships, why he married someone else after 7 years, how to get your husband into conquering mode again, what to do when a man says he is unsure, and why after 13 years there is still no proposal. Plus updates on Selfish 30 and why December is your month to lock in.
Chosen, Margarita’s best marriage tips
Detach - 3 Day Intensive
Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.
Love you lots like jelly tots xx
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Join Selfish 30, Margarita’s 30-day challenge starting November 1st

Welcome back to Being Her, where we are officially entering our selfish era. After years of talking about how to get over an ex, move from anxious to secure attachment, and create the life you want, Margarita has realised the answer to all of it is the same: become a little bit more selfish. Not selfish as in taking from others, but deliciously selfish, putting yourself at the centre of your own life and owning it. In this episode, Margarita explains why “decentring men” keeps you thinking about men, why being the good girl hasn’t made you happier or more valued, and how guilt conditioning keeps women convenient instead of unforgettable. She gets candid about her own people-pleasing, finally buying herself caviar, and the difference between being needed and being valued. She also reveals Selfish 30, her brand new 30-day challenge to help you stop delegating your life to others and actually start doing the behaviours of a woman who puts herself first.

In this episode:
1. How is being a good girl actually working out for you
2. Your life is a result of what you repeatedly prioritise
3. Stop volunteering for self sacrifice nobody is giving you a medal
4. Why being selfish feels so uncomfortable
5. Nobody is coming to hand you the life you want
6. Selfish women ask for what they want because they know what they want
7. Become less available to everyone else to become more available to yourself
8. Stop confusing being needed with being valued
9. You cannot think your way into becoming a different woman you have to do the behaviours
10. Selfish 30, 30 days to become the woman you actually want to be

If you are ready to stop thinking about it and actually do something, this is your sign.

Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

Love you lots like jelly tots xx

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This week’s episode comes straight from the DMs: “Can you please make a video about your partner sleeping soundly while you are crying next to him?” It’s a message Margarita gets often, and one she lived herself in her twenties. The internet’s answer is usually just “leave him,” but Margarita argues that skips the most important part: understanding what is actually happening. In this episode, she breaks down the pursue-withdraw dynamic, why men and women experience conflict so differently, and how anxious and avoidant partners are both trying to feel safe in opposite ways. She gets candid about emotional sovereignty, rumination, and handing your emotional weather to someone else. She also explains how to tell a healthy break from stonewalling, emotional overwhelm from emotional punishment, and the one simple test that shows whether it really is time to leave him.

In this episode:
1. Three separate reasons this could be happening and they are all different
2. The pursue withdraw dynamic and why it is so painful
3. Anxious versus avoidant attachment and why these two always find each other
4. Sleep does not prove emotional indifference
5. Why women ruminate and men shut down during conflict
6. Emotional invalidation versus nervous system overload
7. Stonewalling versus taking a healthy break
8. Why women carry the emotional labour of the whole relationship
9. Contempt and emotional punishment disguised as withdrawal
10. What the next day actually tells you about everything

Write to Dear Margarita and read Unfiltered with Margarita

Mentioned in this episode:
Unbothered by Margarita Nazarenko

Being Her is your no filter space for woman empowerment, relationship advice, confidence, feminine energy, and living life completely on your own terms.

Love you lots like jelly tots xx
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.