Your Thoughts Your Reality

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What do you want your life to stand for?
Not someday.
 Not only after you are gone.
 But through the way you choose to live right now.
In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Nancy Jones, a coach, speaker, leadership mentor, and Dual Elite Certified Neuroencoding Specialist with decades of experience in education, leadership development, and personal transformation.
As the mother of two sons who have served as first responders—one as a wildland firefighter and the other as a police officer—Nancy understands that legacy is deeply personal. It is shaped through the example we set, the values we live, and the impact our daily choices have on the people watching us.
Together, Mike and Nancy explore The Tenth Silent War: Legacy.
Nancy shares a powerful idea from her leadership work: legacy is not simply something you leave behind—it is something you live. Every decision, interaction, belief, and action contributes to the story others experience through you.
This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including:
Legacy — “What am I building through the way I live today?” 
Mission — “What am I called to contribute?” 
Self-Worth — “Do I believe my life and purpose matter?” 
Identity — “Am I living authentically and in alignment with my values?” 
Fear — “Is rejection keeping me from becoming who I am meant to be?” 
Mike and Nancy discuss how leadership is demonstrated through integrity, authenticity, transparency, and whether your actions match the message you share. People are always learning from what leaders model—not only through what they say, but through how they show up when no one is applauding.
Nancy also explains how childhood environments, role models, experiences, and repeated emotional patterns can shape the subconscious beliefs that influence how we lead, love, communicate, and make decisions.
She describes several tools she uses in her work, including Neuroencoding, brain-health education, Body Code practices, hypnosis, and neuro-linguistic programming. Nancy explains how hypnosis can help people enter a relaxed, focused state where they can examine old patterns, release limiting beliefs, and begin creating a different internal story.
One of the most common beliefs she encounters is:
“I am not worthy.”
That belief—along with the fear of rejection—can quietly prevent people from living with purpose, receiving support, pursuing meaningful work, or believing they are capable of creating something that matters.
The first step toward change is awareness.
Notice the thought.
 Examine it without judgment.
 Ask whether it is true.
 Then ask whether it is absolutely true—and what evidence actually supports it.
From there, you can decide whether that belief still aligns with the person you are becoming and the legacy you want to live.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
 Why legacy is something you live rather than something you leave 
 How daily choices shape the impact you have on other people 
 Why integrity and authenticity matter in leadership 
 How subconscious beliefs influence behavior, relationships, and decisions 
 Why worthiness and fear of rejection are common emotional barriers 
 How sensory experiences can activate powerful memories and emotions 
 Why awareness must come before meaningful transformation 
 How to question beliefs that no longer support your purpose 
 One simple action you can take today to begin living your legacy intentionally 
Take five quiet minutes today and ask yourself:
What am I being called to do—and does the way I am living reflect that calling?
Write down what you notice. You do not need to have the entire plan. You only need to become willing to listen and take the next intentional step.
Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community:
👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/
Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality
And when you are ready to create meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction:
👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/
To connect with Nancy Jones or inquire about her coaching and speaking:
👉 crossroadscoaching11@gmail.com
👉 https://johncmaxwellgroup.com/NancyJones
Because your thoughts shape your reality…
And your legacy is being written through the way you choose to live today.
#Legacy #Purpose #Leadership #LimitingBeliefs #SelfWorth #Identity #Mindset #PersonalGrowth #FirstResponders #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality
Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at:

https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service.
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Who gets to decide what you are worth?
For many veterans, leaders, and high performers, value becomes connected to results, recognition, productivity, and being the person everyone depends on.
But when the role changes, the achievement loses its meaning, or success stops feeling fulfilling, a deeper question emerges:
Do I still know my value when I am not proving it?
In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Dominika Staniewicz—also known as Coach D—a leadership coach, speaker, Neuroencoding specialist, and ICF-certified coach who helps leaders strengthen self-awareness, confidence, personal alignment, and authentic decision-making.
Together, Mike and Dominika explore The Sixth Silent War: Self-Worth.
They examine why so many capable people confuse being valuable with being useful, productive, needed, or externally successful. Dominika shares how even personal development, education, and professional certifications can become another way to seek approval when the motivation underneath them is proving that we are enough.
The real question is not simply what you are accomplishing.
It is why you are pursuing it.
Are you learning because it helps you serve more effectively—or because you hope another title will finally make you feel worthy?
This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including:
Self-Worth — “Do I know my value without constantly proving it?” 
Identity — “Who am I beneath my accomplishments, roles, and credentials?” 
Fear — “Am I making decisions from alignment or fear of rejection?” 
Control — “Am I leading with clarity, or trying to control everything to feel secure?” 
Mission — “Does my definition of success support the life I actually want?” 
Mike and Dominika also discuss why people often adopt definitions of success that do not truly belong to them. Publicly, success may be described through money, houses, cars, status, and recognition. Privately, many people define it through family, meaningful work, freedom, peace, health, and time with the people they love.
When your public identity and private values do not match, the distance between them can quietly erode confidence and fulfillment.
Dominika explains how unstable self-worth can also affect leadership. When leaders feel they must continuously prove themselves, they may become defensive, reactive, controlling, or overly focused on performance. By contrast, grounded leaders can ask for help, hear different perspectives, admit mistakes, and allow others to contribute their strengths.
The conversation also explores fluid leadership—the idea that leadership can shift within a team based on who has the strongest skills for the task at hand. When people are trusted to make decisions and contribute meaningfully, they feel seen, valued, and connected to the outcome.
This episode is not about abandoning ambition.
It is about defining achievement on your own terms, giving yourself grace when you fall short, and remembering that your worth does not disappear when the outcome is imperfect.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
 Why productivity, usefulness, and achievement are not the same as self-worth 
 How to recognize whether growth is driven by service or outside validation 
 Why your definition of success should reflect your values and current season of life 
 How unstable self-worth can affect leadership, criticism, and decision-making 
 Why asking for help strengthens both individuals and teams 
 How grace and gratitude help separate worth from perfect performance 
 Why keeping promises to yourself builds trust in who you are 
 Simple evening practices that reinforce confidence and personal alignment 
 How celebrating progress helps your brain recognize the identity you are building 
Before going to bed, Dominika recommends identifying two things you did well, remembering where you showed up in alignment with your values, and celebrating the moments when you kept your word to yourself.
Your brain needs evidence of who you are becoming.
Give it evidence that you are honest, capable, resilient, and worthy—not because everything went perfectly, but because you continued to show up.
Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community:
👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/
Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality
Learn more about Dominika Staniewicz, her coaching, speaking, and leadership work:
👉 https://yourbraincoachd.com/
👉 https://dominikastaniewicz.com/
And when you are ready to take the next step toward meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction:
👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/
Because your thoughts shape your reality…
And your worth was never meant to be decided by the title, achievement, or approval of someone else.
#SelfWorth #WhoDecidesYourWorth #DominikaStaniewicz #Leadership #Identity #AuthenticLeadership #PersonalGrowth #HighPerformers #Veterans #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality
Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at:

https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service.
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Have you ever felt like life was happening to you instead of for you?
For many veterans, first responders, and families, trauma does not remain in the past. It can change how the present feels—leaving someone anxious, disconnected, constantly on guard, or determined to control everything around them just to feel safe.
In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Michelle Strigotte, a licensed professional counselor and founder of Serene Integrative Services in Post Falls, Idaho.
Michelle grew up with an Army veteran who served in Vietnam and lived with severe PTSD. Witnessing how trauma can keep someone trapped in survival mode helped shape her commitment to whole-person mental health care for veterans, first responders, and people experiencing PTSD, depression, anxiety, and trauma.
Together, Mike and Michelle explore The Fourth Silent War: Control.
They discuss why the need for control is not always stubbornness or a personality flaw. For someone who has experienced trauma, controlling the environment can become a protective response—an attempt to prevent being hurt, surprised, or caught off guard again.
The problem begins when the response that once helped someone survive starts making it difficult to rest, connect, trust, or feel safe in the present.
This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including:
Control — “Why does life feel chaotic, and what can I truly influence?” 
Emotional Armor — “What protected me then but keeps me disconnected now?” 
Connection — “How is what I am carrying affecting the people closest to me?” 
Identity — “Am I defined by what happened to me or by how I move forward?” 
Trust — “Can I believe that receiving support is safe?” 
Michelle also explains transcranial magnetic stimulation, commonly called TMS—a noninvasive prescription treatment that uses targeted magnetic pulses to stimulate areas of the brain involved in mood regulation. She discusses how the treatment is administered, why every person requires an individualized medical and psychiatric evaluation, and why TMS should be viewed as one part of a broader healing process rather than a cure or replacement for appropriate professional care.
Mike and Michelle also explore the importance of therapy, nervous-system regulation, self-awareness, sleep, relationships, physical health, personal values, faith, and daily choices. Michelle shares what it means to treat the whole person instead of reducing someone to a diagnosis or symptom score.
Most importantly, this episode challenges the belief that strength means suffering alone.
Receiving help is not surrender. It is a courageous decision to stop allowing past danger to control the rest of your life.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
 Why trauma can create an intense need for control 
 How survival responses can continue after the danger has passed 
 Why PTSD, anxiety, and depression are not signs of weakness 
 What holistic, whole-person mental health care can include 
 What TMS is and how it is administered 
 Why individualized professional evaluation remains essential 
 How healing can positively affect spouses, children, and relationships 
 Why asking for help may be one of the strongest actions you can take 
 One immediate step you can take when you feel exhausted or overwhelmed 
If something in this conversation resonated with you, do not immediately move on to the next thing.
Pause and ask yourself why it affected you. Then choose one point of connection. Tell someone you trust that you are exhausted, overwhelmed, or need help taking the next step.
Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community:
👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/
Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality
Learn more about Michelle and Serene Integrative Services:
👉 https://sereneintegrative.org/
And when you are ready to take the next step toward meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction:
👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/
Because your thoughts shape your reality…
And taking control back does not mean controlling everything—it means choosing the next courageous step you can take today.
#Control #TraumaRecovery #PTSD #TMS #MentalHealth #Veterans #FirstResponders #EmotionalArmor #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality
Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at:

https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service.
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What is really stopping you from moving forward?
For veterans, leaders, and high performers, fear does not always look like fear. Sometimes it looks like anger, avoidance, perfectionism, isolation, overworking, or shutting down before life has the chance to hurt us again.
In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Lauri Clontz, founder of Start Driving Your Destiny, a transformational movement helping people stop living on autopilot and begin creating their lives with greater clarity, confidence, and purpose.
After spending approximately 24 years climbing the corporate ladder, Lauri appeared highly successful from the outside. She led international teams, became the person everyone depended on, and built a reputation for always getting the job done. Underneath that performance, however, was a quieter battle driven by fear, perfectionism, self-doubt, and the belief that she always had to prove she was enough.
Together, Mike and Lauri explore The Ninth Silent War: Fear.
Lauri explains how fear can disguise itself as responsibility, excellence, productivity, or control. She shares how her need to perform kept her working 12- to 14-hour days, isolated her from the people she loved, and ultimately cost her one of the most important moments of her life: being present during her father’s final moments.
That painful realization forced her to confront a difficult question:
What are you working so hard for if the life you are building keeps taking you away from what matters most?
This conversation directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including:
Fear — “What am I avoiding, and what is really driving my behavior?” 
Self-Worth — “Why do I believe I must constantly perform to prove I am enough?” 
Control — “Am I intentionally directing my life, or reacting from old patterns?” 
Direction — “Is the way I am living taking me where I truly want to go?” 
Identity — “Who am I beneath the perfectionism, productivity, and expectations?” 
Lauri also explains how the brain develops protective patterns during pressure, rejection, trauma, and repeated stress. Those patterns may have helped us survive an earlier season of life, but they can eventually keep us trapped in automatic reactions that no longer serve who we are becoming.
The answer is not to shame yourself for those patterns.
It is to recognize them, name what is driving them, separate them from your identity, and begin choosing a different direction—one small action at a time.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
 Why fear often appears as perfectionism, anger, avoidance, or overperformance 
 How old survival patterns can quietly take control of your daily decisions 
 The warning signs that you may be living on autopilot 
 Why productivity does not always mean you are making meaningful progress 
 How to identify what is truly driving your behavior 
 Why small, imperfect actions can create lasting momentum 
 How celebration helps reinforce healthier patterns and choices 
 The first step you can take today to begin reclaiming control of your life 
Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community:
👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/
Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality
To connect with Lauri and learn more about her work, search Start Driving Your Destiny on Instagram and Facebook, or search Lauri Clontz on Facebook and LinkedIn.
And when you are ready to take the next step toward meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction:
👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/
Because your thoughts shape your reality…
And once you recognize what has been driving you, you can take back the keys and choose where your life goes next.
#Fear #StartDrivingYourDestiny #LauriClontz #Perfectionism #Autopilot #SelfWorth #Direction #PersonalGrowth #Veterans #HighPerformers #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality
Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at:

https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service.
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What if the answer to disconnection is not becoming tougher, more guarded, or more independent?
What if the bridge back—to ourselves, to one another, and to a greater sense of meaning—is caring?
In this episode of Your Thoughts, Your Reality, Michael Cole sits down with Dr. Tony Nader, a medical doctor, neuroscientist, consciousness researcher, New York Times bestselling author, and global leader of the Transcendental Meditation organizations.
Trained at Harvard Medical School with a Ph.D. in Brain and Cognitive Sciences from MIT, Dr. Nader has spent decades exploring consciousness, human potential, and the deeper principles that connect the mind, body, and world around us. His newest book, The Power of Caring, examines why caring is not merely an emotion or act of kindness—it is a transformative force capable of changing individuals, relationships, communities, and society.
Together, Mike and Dr. Nader explore The Third Silent War: Connection.
For veterans, first responders, leaders, and high performers, strength often means carrying the weight, solving the problem, and protecting everyone else. But that conditioning can also make it difficult to receive support, express vulnerability, or feel genuinely connected after the role, mission, or environment changes.
This conversation challenges the belief that caring makes us weaker. Instead, Dr. Nader explains how caring can create greater strength, belonging, resilience, cooperation, and purpose—and why our ability to care for others begins with understanding the deeper connection we already share.
This episode directly connects to several of The 10 Silent Wars, including:
Connection — “Where do I belong, and how do I reconnect?” 
Emotional Armor — “Can I remain strong without shutting people out?” 
Trust — “Can I safely open myself to others again?” 
Mission — “How can caring become part of what I serve now?” 
Legacy — “What kind of impact will my presence have on others?” 
Mike and Dr. Nader also discuss the relationship between consciousness and human connection, why isolation can affect how we experience ourselves and the world, and how caring can help move people from separation toward greater unity.
This is not a conversation about becoming passive or ignoring boundaries.
It is about recognizing that real strength includes the ability to see, understand, and care—and that connection may be one of the most powerful resources we have for healing and moving forward.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
 Why caring should be viewed as a strength rather than a weakness 
 How consciousness influences the way we experience connection 
 Why people can feel isolated even when surrounded by others 
 How emotional armor can protect us while also creating distance 
 Why caring for yourself and caring for others are deeply connected 
 How greater connection can support resilience, meaning, and purpose 
 What individuals can do to create a more caring world 
Start by connecting more deeply with the Your Thoughts, Your Reality community:
👉 https://yourthoughtsyourreality.com/
Watch the full conversation and subscribe to the YouTube channel for more discussions about The 10 Silent Wars:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/@YourThoughtsYourReality
Learn more about Dr. Tony Nader and The Power of Caring:
👉 https://www.thepowerofcaringbook.com/
And when you are ready to take the next step toward meaningful change in your mindset, identity, and direction:
👉 https://empowerperformancestrategies.com/
Because your thoughts shape your reality…
And caring may be the bridge that brings us back to one another.
#Connection #ThePowerOfCaring #TonyNader #Consciousness #Belonging #EmotionalArmor #Veterans #FirstResponders #PersonalGrowth #The10SilentWars #YourThoughtsYourReality
Explore more episodes, resources, and updates from Mike Cole at:

https://YourThoughtsYourReality.com

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss future conversations on leadership, mindset, and navigating life after service.
Support the show