The Sandwich Generation Pod

Caregiving in the Sandwich Generation is already a full-contact sport. One minute you’re negotiating with a toddler over broccoli, the next your parents are on the phone… also negotiating, but with guilt trips and passive-aggressive commentary. Cool, cool, cool. So what’s the move when everyone needs something and someone’s being downright difficult?
In this episode of The Sandwich Generation Pod, Robyn and Eliesa talk with family mediator Molly Darsow, owner of Still Waters Mediation. (Yes—family mediator. Because sometimes families need a referee.) Molly shares expert advice on setting boundaries with parents, managing emotional triggers, and improving communication in challenging family dynamics.If you’ve ever thought “there has to be a better way to deal with this,” this one’s for you.
If you’re caring for aging parents while raising kids, navigating sibling tension, or just trying not to lose your mind during one more “interesting” phone call—this episode will give you tools, validation, and maybe even a little laugh.

Takeaways
We are born into family systems and when our parents age or pass away, those roles within the system are wildly disrupted. 
We always hold onto our inner child. 
When we’re family, we all know each other’s triggers - that never leaves us.
There might be a generational difference in how we talk about our emotions.
There is A LOT of vulnerability in aging. 
Shutting down bad behaviors is totally legit. 
It sounds annoying but acceptance, compassion and time are three of the best ways to handle a difficult parent.
Communication takes active practice on everyone’s part and Molly gives tips on doing this effectively.

Chapters
00:00 Introduction with Molly Darsow of Still Waters Mediation
02:55 What is Mediation and why might I need it?
09:40 Managing Triggers and Emotional Responses
11:39 Strategies for Difficult Conversations
30:31 Establishing Boundaries with Parents
33:47 Acknowledging Loss and Change
38:49 The Driving Conversation - is anything more difficult than this?
48:18 What to do when a parent is guilting you?
58:07 Sibling Relationships and Triangulation
01:05:50 Managing Difficult Parents in Front of Children
01:11:11 Outro

Links and Resources:
Still Waters Mediation 
Care out Loud Conversation starter Cards

What is it really like for the Spouses in The Sandwich Generation?! We know it’s emotional for us caregivers, but what is it like on the other side of a relationship? In this episode, Eliesa Johnson and Robyn Frank hand the mic over to their spouses, Nick and EZ, for a refreshingly honest (and occasionally hilarious) take on:
What actually irritates them (yes, we go there)
How to keep the spark alive when you're exhausted and emotionally tapped out
Raising kids while juggling everyone else’s needs
 And what support really looks like—beyond “just tell me what you need”
Spoiler: Love is strong… but so are opinions about buying milk!
If you’re in a relationship in the Sandwich Generation—whether you’re the caregiver or the one wondering how to help—this one’s for you.
Because sometimes, laughter is the only thing keeping everyone sane.

Takeaways
Everyone is in The Sandwich Generation together when you’re married but in different roles.
How can a spouse help with the overwhelm of being sandwiched?
When your spouse takes a back seat - and making them a priority again!
How are we raising the kids in the middle of it all?
Keeping the fire alive - intimacy and humor during tough times.
It takes a village - asking for help!

Chapters
00:00 Reflections on Marriage: Expectations vs. Reality: Getting Married Later in Life and Entering The Sandwich Generation
10:20 When the caregiver is overwhelmed, what's a spouse to do?
18:53 Hormones are a big deal in The Sandwich Generation
30:18 When your spouse takes a back seat and making them a priority again
36:27 Arguments
39:27 So what do you really think of your in laws?
45:36 What about us? What does our aging look like?
48:01 Lets talk about the kids + grief
54:33 Making things easier for the spouse that is overwhelmed by caregiving
59:09 What makes our spouse sexy now in The Sandwich Generation?
01:05:36 Outro

Welcome to Part 2 of our episode on Medical Assistance for Long Term Care in Minnesota. This is a HOT topic and one that deserved some extra time! In this episode, Robyn and Eliesa welcome back Rachel Schromen of Schromen Law, LLC answers more questions and gives practical examples and tips on the strategy and process behind applying for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care. What’s a 5 year look back? What’s a spend down? What are Medical Assistant Divorces and why do they happen? There is so much great information in this episode!
Hot Tip: Spend the money and hire an attorney - it’s worth the investment! We’re not here to sell, we are here to guide you through and hopefully shed some light on a subject that is fraught with financial and emotional loss. 

**Please note that we are not offering specific legal advice - Use this advice to ask the questions in your states, with your attorneys.**

Takeaways:
The benefits of Pre Planning for Long Term Care
The benefits of hiring an attorney to help - especially to flag for exemptions in MN that get missed a lot. 
Clarifying the terms:  5 year Look Back, Asset Reduction and Spenddown terminology
The cost of care in America is HIGH right now - we will all need long term planning and the earlier the better because you have options. 
Ongoing MA maintenance
Some real life examples of a medical assistance spenddown before annual renewals
Medical Assistance Divorces and why do they happen
What’s the most frequent question an attorney gets asked by families applying for Medical Assistance for long term care?

Links and Resources:
National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys - a national resource to help connect you with Elder Law Attorneys around the country! 
Schromen Law, LLC - Learn more about Rachel’s practice and approach to Estate Planning and Elder Law. We know we’ll be making an appointment!
10 Questions to ask your Estate Planning Attorney - A very cool document provided by Schromen Law, LLC that walks you through questions to ask while calling around for Estate Planning and Elder Law. 
Minnesota Application for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care - if you’re interested in a DIY approach. A word of caution - these forms can seem deceivingly simple. We might recommend hiring a pro to help guide you. 

Low Income Resources:
Mid Minnesota Legal Aid
LawHelpMN.Org

What happens when the money runs out? For many Americans, Medical Assistance for Long Term Care is an option that feels almost inevitable. But these were supposed to be ‘The Golden Years’, right? And now you’re telling me I have to live off of $120/month? WHAT?!? Where do you begin? There seem to be SO many rules and so much fine print -  and what is really provided?  
In part one of this two-part episode, Eliesa shares her personal story with the hardships of navigating and applying for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care. We also welcome Rachel Schromen of Schromen Law, LLC to be our expert in talking about the legalities of Medical Assistance for Long Term Care in Minnesota with real tips, real examples and real advice. 
**Please note that we are not offering specific legal advice - Use this advice to ask the questions in your states, with your attorneys.**

Takeaways:
Eliesa’s personal story - why is she so passionate about Medical assistance?
Lets clarify the terms: Medical Assistance for Long Term Care, Elder Waiver and Cadi Waiver
What is *actually covered in MN when you’re on Medical Assistance for Long Term Care?
The benefits of hiring an attorney for the pre-planning and application process. 
Setting Expectations for being on Medical Assistance for Long Term Care

Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Rachel Schromen of Schromen Law
01:06 Eliesa’s Personal Story with Medical Assistance
12:38 Why do people go on Medical Assistance and who is it for?
13:56 Medical Assistance vs The Elderly Care Waiver vs the Cadi Waiver
17:42 What are the first steps in applying for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care?
23:55 Navigating county workers and application challenges
34:16 Financial Realities of Medical Assistance and Elderly Waiver
45:39 The importance of early planning
47:02 Outro

Links and Resources:
National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys - a national resource to help connect you with Elder Law Attorneys around the country! 
Schromen Law, LLC - Learn more about Rachel’s practice and approach to Estate Planning and Elder Law. We know we’ll be making an appointment!
10 Questions to ask your Estate Planning Attorney - A very cool document provided by Schromen Law, LLC that walks you through questions to ask while calling around for Estate Planning and Elder Law. 
Minnesota Application for Medical Assistance for Long Term Care - if you’re interested in a DIY approach. A word of caution - these forms can seem deceivingly simple. We might recommend hiring a pro to help guide you. 

Low Income Resources:
Mid Minnesota Legal Aid
LawHelpMN.Org

Description: Alright, who else feels overwhelmed by keeping together the paperwork and passwords alone in The Sandwich Generation? Do we go digital with all of this or keep it analog? Yeah, we are asking ourselves the same questions, too! Season 2 of the podcast premiers with this mini-episode where Robyn Frank and Eliesa Johnson tackle one of our greatest challenges: organization. We discuss a system called ‘The Legacy Binder’ to simplify life admin - the medical, legal, end-of-life-planning, etc. and hopefully this can help us ALL make caregiving a little less stressful and more manageable when all of our shit is in one place. Did we mention how amazing scanner apps are? This episode isn’t deep but it is helpful! 
Takeaways:
Creating the “Legacy Binder”: Put together both a physical binder and digital folder with all of these important things! You can create this for both your aging parents and your own family. 
Digital Folder: Use a cloud service like Google Drive, Dropbox or iCloud. Make sure to keep things password protected for safe keeping!
Get yourself a Scan App: Scan Ace or Scan is what we use!
Folders can include: 
Personal Information
Financial Information
Legal Information
Medical Information
Digital Information + Password
Home Information
End of Life Wishes
Links and Resources:
Care Out Loud - Use their Conversation Cards, 
Caregiving Cheat Sheets + Caregiver Resources - all in one place! 

Chapters:
00:00 Document Organization Strategies
01:15 There's so much paperwork: How do we get ourselves organized?
02:47 Analog vs Digital Organization - Or make it a combo!
09:54 Category Tips for Organizing ALL the Info
17:44 Category Tips Continued
22:17 Starting the Conversation with Parents
25:23 Care Out Loud Resource for Caregivers
28:59 Outro