The ADHD Parenting Podcast

Hosts Ryan and Mike work through five real listener questions covering some of the most common — and most misunderstood — challenges of raising kids with ADHD: a six-year-old with borderline intellectual functioning caught between a cautious school and a hands-off psychiatrist, a ten-year-old with total time blindness for non-preferred activities, sibling conflict where the hosts openly diverge on whether to hold the older child more accountable or redirect the younger one, a physically aggressive first-grader stuck in a cycle of ineffective next-day suspensions, and a fifteen-year-old with ADHD, anxiety, OCD, and autism who avoids school at the first sign of feeling unwell. The thread running through all five: executive functioning is environment-dependent, and parental accommodation — however loving — tends to make avoidance and anxiety worse rather than better.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:52] Borderline Functioning: School vs. Psychiatrist
[00:05:16] Time Blindness and Non-Preferred Activities
[00:09:03] Sibling Conflict and the Dopamine Cycle
[00:15:15] Aggression, Suspensions, and Brain Breaks
[00:22:28] Autism, Illness Avoidance, and School Refusal

In part two of this two-part series, Mike and Ryan discuss why families often abandon medication too quickly after a single difficult trial, the importance of trial-and-error in finding the right medication regimen, and why genetic testing isn't the shortcut many parents hope it will be.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠
Timestamps
[00:00:00] Start
[00:00:46] Why Families Give Up on Medication Too Easily
[00:01:30] Two Main Stimulant Categories Explained
[00:03:42] Non-Stimulant Medication Options
[00:04:22] Why Medication Alone Is Not Enough
[00:07:15] Genetic Testing Is Not Recommended
[00:09:43] Key Takeaways on ADHD Medication
[00:12:13] Final Thoughts on Kids and Medical Decisions

Citations
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. (2020). Clinical use of pharmacogenetic tests in prescribing psychotropic medications for children and adolescents. ⁠https://www.aacap.org/aacap/Policy_Statements/2020/Clinical-Use-Pharmacogenetic-Tests-Prescribing-Psychotropic-Medications-for-Children-Adolescents.aspx⁠
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. (2022). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: Parents’ medication guide. ⁠https://www.aacap.org/App_Themes/AACAP/docs/resource_centers/resources/med_guides/ADHD_Medication_Guide-web.pdf⁠
American Psychiatric Association. (n.d.). What is ADHD? ⁠https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/adhd/what-is-adhd⁠
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). Clinical care of ADHD. ⁠https://www.cdc.gov/adhd/hcp/treatment-recommendations/index.html⁠
Dalsgaard, S., Leckman, J. F., Mortensen, P. B., Nielsen, H. S., & Simonsen, M. (2015). Effect of drugs on the risk of injuries in children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: A prospective cohort study. The Lancet Psychiatry, 2(8), 702–709. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2215-0366(15)00271-0
Dalsgaard, S., Østergaard, S. D., Leckman, J. F., Mortensen, P. B., & Pedersen, M. G. (2015). Mortality in children, adolescents, and adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: A nationwide cohort study. The Lancet, 385(9983), 2190–2196. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(14)61684-6
de Vries, W., Boer, M., Stevens, G. W. J. M., & van Dorsselaer, S. (2025). Exploring concept creep: Youth’s portrayal of ADHD on TikTok. SSM Mental Health, 7, 100374.
Harpin, V., Mazzone, L., Raynaud, J. P., Kahle, J., & Hodgkins, P. (2016). Long-term outcomes of ADHD: A systematic review of self-esteem and social function. Journal of Attention Disorders, 20(4), 295–305. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054713486516
Myer, N. M., Boland, J. R., & Faraone, S. V. (2018). Pharmacogenetics predictors of methylphenidate efficacy in childhood ADHD. Molecular Psychiatry, 23, 1929–1936.
Shaw, M., Hodgkins, P., Caci, H., Young, S., Kahle, J., Woods, A. G., & Arnold, L. E. (2012). A systematic review and analysis of long-term outcomes in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: Effects of treatment and non-treatment. BMC Medicine, 10, 99. ⁠https://doi.org/10.1186/1741-7015-10-99⁠
Wetterer, L. (2020). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: AAP updates guideline for diagnosis and management. American Family Physician, 102(1), 58–60.
Wolraich, M. L., Hagan, J. F., Allan, C., Chan, E., Davison, D., Earls, M., Evans, S. W., Flinn, S. K., Froehlich, T., Frost, J., Holbrook, J. R., Lehmann, C. U., Lessin, H. R., Okechukwu, K., Pierce, K. L., Winner, J. D., & Zurhellen, W. (2019). Clinical practice guideline for the diagnosis, evaluation, and treatment of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 144(4), e20192528. ⁠https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2019-2528⁠
Yeung, A., Ng, E., & Abi-Jaoude, E. (2022). TikTok and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A cross-sectional study of social media content quality. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 67(12), 899–906. ⁠https://doi.org/10.1177/07067437221082854⁠

Ryan & Mike take on ADHD kids' medication based on research and doctors, not social media. They cover untreated ADHD risks, debunk the psychiatrist myth, and put decisions with parents and prescribers.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:01:05] Why Parents Get Confused About Medication
[00:03:40] The Risks of Untreated ADHD
[00:06:46] Where Medication Misinformation Comes From
[00:10:15] Do You Really Need a Child Psychiatrist?
[00:13:34] Who Makes the Medication Decision
Citations
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. (2020). Clinical use of pharmacogenetic tests in prescribing psychotropic medications for children and adolescents. https://www.aacap.org/aacap/Policy_Statements/2020/Clinical-Use-Pharmacogenetic-Tests-Prescribing-Psychotropic-Medications-for-Children-Adolescents.aspx
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. (2022). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: Parents’ medication guide. https://www.aacap.org/App_Themes/AACAP/docs/resource_centers/resources/med_guides/ADHD_Medication_Guide-web.pdf
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. (n.d.). Pharmacogenetic testing. https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Pharmacogenetic_Testing-128.aspx
American Psychiatric Association. (n.d.). What is ADHD? https://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/adhd/what-is-adhd
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2024). Clinical care of ADHD. https://www.cdc.gov/adhd/hcp/treatment-recommendations/index.html
Dalsgaard, S., Leckman, J. F., Mortensen, P. B., Nielsen, H. S., & Simonsen, M. (2015). Effect of drugs on the risk of injuries in children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: A prospective cohort study. The Lancet Psychiatry, 2(8), 702–709. https://doi.org/10.1016/S2215-0366(15)00271-0
Dalsgaard, S., Østergaard, S. D., Leckman, J. F., Mortensen, P. B., & Pedersen, M. G. (2015). Mortality in children, adolescents, and adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: A nationwide cohort study. The Lancet, 385(9983), 2190–2196. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(14)61684-6
de Vries, W., Boer, M., Stevens, G. W. J. M., & van Dorsselaer, S. (2025). Exploring concept creep: Youth’s portrayal of ADHD on TikTok. SSM Mental Health, 7, 100374.
Harpin, V., Mazzone, L., Raynaud, J. P., Kahle, J., & Hodgkins, P. (2016). Long-term outcomes of ADHD: A systematic review of self-esteem and social function. Journal of Attention Disorders, 20(4), 295–305. https://doi.org/10.1177/1087054713486516
Myer, N. M., Boland, J. R., & Faraone, S. V. (2018). Pharmacogenetics predictors of methylphenidate efficacy in childhood ADHD. Molecular Psychiatry, 23, 1929–1936.
Shaw, M., Hodgkins, P., Caci, H., Young, S., Kahle, J., Woods, A. G., & Arnold, L. E. (2012). A systematic review and analysis of long-term outcomes in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: Effects of treatment and non-treatment. BMC Medicine, 10, 99. https://doi.org/10.1186/1741-7015-10-99
Wetterer, L. (2020). Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: AAP updates guideline for diagnosis and management. American Family Physician, 102(1), 58–60.
Wolraich, M. L., Hagan, J. F., Allan, C., Chan, E., Davison, D., Earls, M., Evans, S. W., Flinn, S. K., Froehlich, T., Frost, J., Holbrook, J. R., Lehmann, C. U., Lessin, H. R., Okechukwu, K., Pierce, K. L., Winner, J. D., & Zurhellen, W. (2019). Clinical practice guideline for the diagnosis, evaluation, and treatment of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 144(4), e20192528. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2019-2528
Yeung, A., Ng, E., & Abi-Jaoude, E. (2022). TikTok and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder: A cross-sectional study of social media content quality. The Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, 67(12), 899–906. https://doi.org/10.1177/07067437221082854

Ryan and Mike take on four of the loudest myths in Facebook ADHD parenting groups: pharmacogenetic ("cheek swab") testing for medication selection, the idea that every ADHD child needs one-to-one talk therapy, the "everything is sensory" framing, and rejection sensitive dysphoria as a discrete diagnosis. For each one, they walk through what the actual research and clinical practice guidelines support — and what they don't.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:02:13] Myth 1: Genetic Panel Testing for ADHD Meds
[00:04:25] Myth 2: Every ADHD Kid Needs Therapy
[00:10:36] Myth 3: Everything Is Sensory
[00:13:00] Myth 4: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
[00:16:25] Closing: Research Over Popularity

CITATIONS:

American Academy of Pediatrics. (2019). Clinical practice guideline for the diagnosis, evaluation, and treatment of attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in children and adolescents. Pediatrics, 144(4), e20192528.
Antshel, K. M., & Barkley, R. A. (2020). Psychosocial interventions in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 29(3), 499–519.
Barkley, R. A. (2013). Distinguishing sluggish cognitive tempo from attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder in adults. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 122(4), 978–990.
Barkley, R. A. (2015). Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder: A handbook for diagnosis and treatment (4th ed.). Guilford Press.
Barkley, R. A. (2020). Taking charge of ADHD (4th ed.). Guilford Press.
Doffer, M., et al. (2023). Behavioral parent training for children with ADHD: Long-term outcomes and effectiveness. Journal of Attention Disorders, 27(5), 1–14. (Note: verify exact pages for final)
Evans, S. W., Owens, J. S., & Bunford, N. (2014). Evidence-based psychosocial treatments for children and adolescents with ADHD. Journal of Clinical Child & Adolescent Psychology, 43(4), 527–551.
Luman, M., Tripp, G., & Scheres, A. (2010). Identifying the neurobiology of altered reinforcement sensitivity in ADHD. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 34(5), 744–754.
Pinquart, M. (2017). Associations of parenting dimensions and styles with externalizing problems of children and adolescents: An updated meta-analysis. Developmental Psychology, 53(5), 873–932.
Sibley, M. H. (2021). Annual research review: Defining and treating ADHD in adolescents. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 62(6), 706–724.
Tripp, G., & Wickens, J. R. (2020). Neurobiology of ADHD. Neuropharmacology, 173, 108–127.

In this episode of the ADHD Parenting Podcast, hosts Mike and Ryan tackle a provocative but critical topic: why high expectations are the most loving thing you can do for a child with ADHD. They respond to a listener’s experience in which an effective classroom point system—backed by decades of research—was canceled after other parents of children with ADHD complained. Mike and Ryan break down the difference between evidence-based structure and popular social media narratives, explaining why removing consequences and lowering the bar can lead to learned helplessness, prompt dependence, and failure to launch. They cite leading ADHD researchers like Dr. Russell Barkley, clarify what the science actually says about connection vs. consequence, and offer practical advice for IEP meetings, home life, and navigating parent group chats. Above all, Mike and Ryan argue that high expectations combined with high empathy aren’t the opposite of love—they are love.

Find Mike @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.grownowadhd.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠IG⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Find Ryan @ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.adhddude.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ & on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Youtube⁠⁠⁠

{{chapters}}
[00:00:00] Start
[00:05:29] Debunking the "connection, not consequence" myth
[00:08:14] Dr. Russell Barkley: ADHD as a self-regulation problem
[00:10:39] The cost of removing structure: Learned helplessness
[00:14:05] "It's not fair": Neurology explains but does not exempt
[00:15:30] Setting kids up for failure to launch
[00:16:53] Research-backed classroom policies that work
[00:21:26] What parents can do at home and in IEP meetings
[00:25:05] Confidence is earned by meeting standards
[00:25:44] Closing: High expectations + high empathy = love

Citations:

Gaastra, G. F., Groen, Y., Tucha, L., & Tucha, O. (2016). The effects of classroom interventions on off-task and disruptive classroom behavior in children with symptoms of ADHD. Consequence-based approaches showed the largest positive effect.

Barkley, R. A. (2015 / 2022). ADHD: A Handbook for Diagnosis and Treatment. Self-regulation model and "point of performance" principle.

Power, T. J., Mautone, J. A., & Soffer, S. L. Family-School Success for Children with ADHD: A Guide for Intervention. Guilford Press. From the Center for Management of ADHD at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia — research-based home-school partnership intervention.

Pelham, W. E., Fabiano, G. A., and colleagues. Daily Behavior Report Card evidence base.

Rosenthal & Jacobson lineage. Pygmalion Effect / adult-expectation research in education.

Milich and colleagues; 2024 review on learned helplessness in ADHD populations.