EP 234: Polyvagal Theory, Hope, Dysregulation, and Repair
What if dysregulation isn’t the problem? I know I know- that’s really hard to wrap our brain around! At least, it was for me. In this episode, I continue the conversation from last week’s interview with Deb Dana and take a deeper dive into one of her most powerful insights: that dysregulation is simply part of being human—and it’s the absence of repair that becomes the real challenge.But I think for parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors, we need to pause and explore that a little more. Because- in your home- dysregulation is a real problem!!!In this episode, you’ll learn:Why dysregulation is a natural part of being human, and how polyvagal theory reframes it with compassion and hopeThe difference between dysregulation itself and the behaviors that can emerge from itHow offering repair—even when it isn’t received—can create powerful shifts in your child’s nervous system and in your ownResources mentioned in this podcast:Polyvagal Theory as a Path to Hope: Regulation, Repair, and Connection with guest Deb Dana {EP 233}The Club – my online parent community with resources, events, and connections!!!!The Attachment Series - eBookFree Resource Library Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/polyvagalhope***Apply now for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals!Read all the details about the program and submit your application at RobynGobbel.com/Immersion*** :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
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EP 233: Polyvagal Theory as a Path to Hope: Regulation, Repair, and Connection with guest Deb Dana
Polyvagal theory isn’t just a theory- it’s a way of living that can transform how we show up for our kids, ourselves, and everyone around us. I’m SOOOO excited to introduce you to Deb Dana! Together, we explore how understanding our nervous systems brings hope, deepens connection, and makes repair possible even in the messiest moments.In this episode you’ll learn:Why polyvagal theory is truly a theory of hope and how it can reframe your parenting challenges.How to increase cues of safety and decrease cues of danger—for you and your child.The essential role of repair in building connection, even when your child can’t (or won’t) receive it right away.Resources mentioned in this podcast:https://www.rhythmofregulation.com/Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/DebDana***Apply now for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals!Read all the details about the program and submit your application at RobynGobbel.com/Immersion*** :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
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EP 232: Swearing- What it Means and How to Respond
When kids swear, it often feels jarring, disrespectful, or even threatening. But swearing isn’t about defiance or being a bad kid- it’s a clue about the state of your child’s nervous system. Swearing might mean your child is overwhelmed, dysregulated, or struggling to find their real voice. Of course, understanding the behavior isn’t excusing the behavior. BUT! When we understand where the behavior is coming from, we get much better and more effective ideas about how to address it.In this episode, we explore what’s really going on beneath the swearing, why it might be possible to consider that swearing isn’t inherently bad, and how parents can respond in ways that build regulation, connection, and felt safety.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why your own reaction to swearing is the first thing to explore, and how to regulate through itWhat swearing might really be communicating, including pain, overwhelm, or a need for controlHow to scaffold emotional expression so your child learns to use their real voice instead of cussing Resources mentioned in this podcast:Regulated Does Not Equal Calm {EP 31}Boundaries with Connection Part 1 of 3 {EP 111}Boundaries With Verbal Aggression with Juliane Taylor Shore {EP 115}How I've Strengthened my Psychological Boundaries {EP 117}Match The Energy, NOT the Dysregulation {EP 155}Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/swearing***Apply now for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals!Read all the details about the program and submit your application at RobynGobbel.com/Immersion*** :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
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EP 231: EMDR with Kids with Attachment Trauma with Deb Wesselmann
I’m so excited to introduce you to someone who has deeply influenced my work- Deb Wesselmann! Deb is a pioneer in integrating EMDR therapy with family therapy for children with early attachment trauma. In this episode, we chat about how Deb (and her colleagues) developed her attachment-focused EMDR model, why slow bilateral stimulation is so effective for complex trauma, and what it really means to create a secure holding environment for both kids and their parents. We also talk about the importance of therapists and other helpers doing their own work in therapy.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why Deb’s model of attachment-focused EMDR has transformed how we support children with early traumaThe importance of helping both parents and children process trauma for lasting healingHow bilateral stimulation, safety, and co-regulation come together in this powerful family therapy modeResources mentioned in this podcast:Learn more about Deb Wesselmann and her work: https://debrawesselmann.com/Register for Deb's upcoming online training in Attachment-Focused EMDR: https://debrawesselmann.com/#emdr-therapyStay tuned for Deb and Christine Mark-Griffin’s upcoming EMDR workbook for kids, releasing in 2026!Learn more about EMDR Therapy: https://www.emdria.orgRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/emdrfamilytherapy***Apply now for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals!Read all the details about the program and submit your application at RobynGobbel.com/Immersion*** :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
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EP 230: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria
Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) isn’t about being overly sensitive. It’s about a nervous system that experiences rejection as danger. In this episode, I explore RSD through the lens of relational neuroscience, attachment, memory, and regulation. Whether you see this in yourself or your child, this episode will help you understand why rejection feels so big, and what actually helps.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why RSD reactions are so intense and how they’re rooted in memory and nervous system statesHow attachment experiences shape our sensitivity to rejectionWhat actually helps when RSD shows up (for you or your child), including co-regulation and self-compassionResources mentioned in this podcast:Trauma, Memory, & Behavior: Part 1 {EP 90}The Neurobiology of Toxic Shame {EP 119}1% Better Is Enough. {EP 166}All Behavior Makes Sense {EP 198}Read the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/rejectivesensitivity***Apply now for the BBTI's Immersion Program for Professionals!Read all the details about the program and submit your application at RobynGobbel.com/Immersion*** :::Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubApply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagram Over on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
About The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}
Formerly the Parenting after Trauma podcast, internationally recognized children's mental health expert Robyn Gobbel decodes the most baffling behaviors for parents of kids with vulnerable nervous systems. If you're parenting a child who has experienced trauma or toxic stress or a child with a neuroimmune disorder, sensory processing, or other nervous system vulnerability, this show will let you know you are not alone. You can stop playing behavior whack-a-mole because Robyn offers you tools that actually work. You can become your child's expert, feel more confident as a parent, and bring more connection and clarity into your family.Educators, therapists, coaches and consultants- you too can learn all about what behavior really is and become more effective at helping the families you support. You can love your work again!
Listen to The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}, The Ultimate Human with Gary Brecka and many other podcasts from around the world with the radio.net app
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