Recovery Elevator

Today we have Tom. He is 40 years old from New Canaan, CT and took his last drink on July 12th, 2024.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
 
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Happy March! The Café RE theme this month is Mindfulness and Awareness. This key topic helps us build awareness and space, which ultimately gives us the freedom to make different choices beyond drinking. Café RE will feature chats focused on mindfulness. It has been said that the most powerful medicine can't match the power of awareness.
 
Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we're going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, and submit your story, we'd love to have you. There is no sobriety time requirement so if your saying to yourself, well, I've only been sober 30 days, I can't submit my story, then nonsense. Send an email to [email protected] and you'll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.
 
[03:56] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Paul shares with us a quote from author Brianna Wiest.
 
"Your new life is going to cost you your old one.
It's going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense
of direction.
It's going to cost you relationships and friends.
It's going to cost you being liked and understood.
It doesn't matter.
The people who are meant for you are going to meet you
on the other side. You're going to build a new comfort
zone around the things that actually move you forward.
Instead of being liked, you're going to be loved. Instead of
being understood, you're going to be seen.
All you're going to lose is what was built for a person you
no longer are."
[06:25] Paul introduces Tom:
 
Tom is 40 years old and lives in New Canaan, CT. He is a construction superintendent, is married and they have 5-year-old twins. For fun, Tom enjoys gold, skiing and spending time with his kids.
 
Tom first drank at age 14 and says he frequently blacked out when he drank going forward. There were multiple legal consequences throughout his late teens and early twenties as his binge drinking continued through college. Around age 21, Tom began using cocaine which enabled him to drink more with less blackouts.
 
After college, Tom and his friends mainly drank on the weekend. Fast forward a few years and he found himself drinking alone during the week while his friends did not. As time progressed, he would wake up daily and trash talk himself for not being able to stop at just one or two. He felt like Jekyll and Hyde and struggled with that throughout his 30's.
 
In 2020, Tom's twins were born. He struggled to juggle his drinking life and his family life. His wife was growing frustrated, and Tom wasn't the parent that he had hoped he would be. In spite of this, he never really thought about quitting drinking, but quickly realized moderation didn't work. He knew he would need to quit drinking for himself and not just for his family. His wife was growing frustrated, and Tom knew he would lose everything if he didn't quit.
 
On June 12th, 2024, Tom was going to start a new job and looked at it as a clean slate. He says quitting was awkward and he began to talk to an alcohol counselor that helped him a lot. Within the first few months Tom felt better physically and able to establish a workout routine which helped him start the day in a better headspace. He started listening to the RE podcast and relating to others' stories. Exercise has become a hobby for Tom. Woodworking is a hobby that has come back for Tom as well, he takes pride in the projects he completes now.
 
Tom's parting piece of guidance: If you can make it through the first couple of days, and start to see the benefit, it'll get better every day. There'll be bad moments and challenging moments, but don't give up.
 
 
Recovery Elevator
Remember this is an inside job. It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
 
 
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Today we have Greg. He is 57 years old and from Midlothian, VA. He took his last drink on December 8th, 2025.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
 
Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help
Café RE – the social app for sober people
 
Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we're going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, please submit your story. There is no sobriety time requirement. Send an email to [email protected] and you'll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.
 
If you have been thinking about joining Café RE, now is the time. The monthly price is increasing to $29 per month on March 1st. If you're already a member, your price will not increase, this is only for new membership.  Keep in mind that $29 per month is most likely a fraction of what you may have spent on alcohol per month.
 
[03:55] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Paul shares with us a beautifully written piece someone shared with him a few months ago.
 
In summary, they didn't quit drinking after a dramatic rock bottom, but after a quiet realization. Alcohol had become an automatic habit used to avoid feelings, slowly eroding sleep , mood, health, clarity, and self-respect. "Functioning" wasn't truly living. When they stopped lying to themselves about its cost and stopped romanticizing it, drinking felt pointless—and they simply chose honesty over pretending.
 
[10:12] Paul introduces Greg:
 
Greg is 57 years old from Midlothian, VA. For work, Greg is self-employed and does lawn, landscape and maintenance work. He has been married for 24 years, and he has four adult children, one grandchild, two dogs and a cat. For fun, Greg enjoys going to yard sales, is a big sports fan and enjoys music of all kinds.
 
Greg rarely drank in high school but began drinking regularly in college, which hurt his grades. After his GPA fell below 2.0, his father refused to keep paying for school unless he transferred to a Christian university. Greg initially moved out and continued partying while working a minimum-wage job but eventually accepted his father's offer. Despite strict no-drinking rules at the new school, he found ways to keep partying.
 
With his first child on the way after graduation, Greg got a position working in retail management. A few years later he shifted to working in the restaurant business, which found him drinking every evening after work and staying at the bar through all hours.
 
After his sister's sudden death, Greg's drinking intensified and shifted from social partying to drinking alone as a way to cope. He didn't see himself as an alcoholic - it just felt normal to him. When his relationship with the mother of his first two children ended, his drinking continued to worsen.
 
Within a few years, Greg and his current wife married and had two kids together. Greg continued to drink daily and over the years, his wife's tolerance decreased. She tried everything she could to help him stop, but eventually she began talking about divorce and separation, but he didn't believe she would do it.
 
In March 2025, his wife moved out. Greg had made a statement that this was just who he was, and he was done trying to quit drinking and he now believes that was the straw that broke the camel's back. He still had no interest in quitting drinking until August 2025 when he heard a voice telling him to start going back to church.
 
This was the catalyst Greg needed, and he surrendered control of his life to Jesus Christ and became active in his church community. He starts his mornings with reading the bible, journalling and reviewing his thoughts and feelings. He is currently starting a recovery group at his church. Greg and his wife are working on reconciliation. Now 45 days away from alcohol at the time of recording, Greg feels like a completely different person.
 
 
Recovery Elevator
 This isn't a no to alcohol,
But a hell yes to a better life
I love you guys,
 
 
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Today we have Kerri. She is 51 years old from Maine and took her last drink on June 7th, 2025.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
 
Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help
Soberlink – sign up and claim your $100 enrollment bonus
 
If you have been thinking about joining Café RE, now is the time. The monthly price is increasing to $29 per month on March 1st. If you're already a member, your price will not increase, this is only for new membership.  Keep in mind that $29 per month is most likely a fraction of what you may have spent on alcohol per month.
 
[04:09] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Last week we talked about patience and how preparation is sacred work. This week, we are talking about building your expedition team a.k.a., your sobriety team.
 
First, there is this podcast. Paul and the RE production team are part of your team. All interviewees are part of your team.
 
Then you need community. This can be in-person or online with other sober people. You need people who get it, who've been where you are, and who can remind you why you are doing this. There is also no shame in seeking professional help or a therapist.
 
And don't forget God, or a higher power, or the universe, or whatever you want to call that thing bigger than yourself. Because when you're in the wilderness and the map runs out.
 
This week, ask yourself: who's on my team? And if the answer is "nobody yet" then your mission is to find at least one person. Because you can't do this alone. You weren't meant to do this alone. Lean in.
 
[08:14] Paul introduces Kerri:
 
Kerri is 51 and lives in Maine. She is a registered nurse, divorced and has two older teenagers. For fun she loves live music, yoga, sauna, kayak, writing and spending time with her kids.
 
Kerri first tried alcohol when she was 12. She grew up in a townhouse community with lots of other kids and limited supervision. Kerri went to college in Boston where she says she partied like the guys did and was the girl that was let in. Her 20's were pretty healthy and she doesn't feel her drinking was a problem at that point.
 
Kerri has a sister in recovery. She says their alcoholism was more overt and people would comment on it, but Kerri kept drinking privately and faked control over it. When she got married, she and her husband were drinking partners and would drink daily. Over time she says she felt a switch flip and began to try and control her drinking with little luck.
 
When she got divorced, Kerri says she was undone. Alcohol became her coping mechanism, but she kept it concealed and remained functional. She tried to quit after her first DUI, but it lasted nine months and then she began to test the water again every few months afterwards. Kerri feels that moderation is a lie, from her experience.
 
Last June, Kerri lost her job as a school nurse and says she hit an emotional rock bottom. She no longer cared about herself, drank a box of wine and then drove leading to another DUI. Prior to this event, her drinking had been ramping up to the point her kids were noticing it. Her kids reaction to her DUI led Kerri to decide she needed to quit.
 
Utilizing her sister as a resource and attending AA, Kerri was determined to work on her recovery. Her life was crashing down around her, and her sister asked her what she was going to do differently. Kerri found herself on her knees surrendering and asking for help, which is something that has never been easy for her.
 
Podcasts have been a great tool for Kerri because she lives in a rural area and it's hard to get to meetings. Other tools she uses are journaling, sauna, yoga and she is committed to attending AA once a week.
 
Kerri's message to those that are still struggling: "your life will get better. It is so incredibly worth it. It could be the most challenging thing you're ever going to go through but imagine being clear and present for your own life".
 
 
 
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down
You've got to take the stairs back up
We can do this
 
 
 
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Today we have Lewis. He is 39 years old from Burlington, VT and he took his last rink of alcohol on June 12th, 2025.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
 
Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help
 
August 12th – 16th: Get ready to elevate your alcohol-free life in Big Sky Country. Join RE in Bozeman, Montana for our annual sober summer retreat. Registration opens April 1st. This isn't your typical retreat. We're talking adventure, laughter and deep bonds with people who get it. This retreat will remind you why choosing freedom over booze was the best decision you ever made.
 
[01:52] Thoughts from Paul:
 
This week, Paul talks about something that doesn't get discussed enough in recovery: patience and preparation.
 
Getting sober takes time. Preparing for your new life takes time. Some people are able to spontaneously quit drinking and never look back, but most have to slowly build momentum before trust falling into an alcohol-free life.
 
Some of you may have been listening to this podcast for years and feeling guilty for still drinking – DON'T. Maybe you think you are failing because you haven't quit yet. You're NOT. You are in preparation mode and intentional preparation is sacred work.
 
Every time you question whether alcohol is worth it, you're gathering intelligence. Every moment you imagine life without drinking; you're building the mental map you'll need for the actual journey.
 
This week, give yourself permission to be exactly where you are. If you're still drinking and listening, you're right where you need to be. It doesn't matter if you quit yesterday, last month or several years ago, you're right where you need to be.
 
[06:46] Paul introduces Lewis:
 
Lewis is 39 years old and grew up in Australia but now lives in Burlington, VT.  He runs a business. For fun, Lewis likes run and being outdoors snowboarding, surfing, eat good food and hang out with friends.
 
Lewis grew up with two brothers, who he is still close with, and says they had a great childhood living in a remote area in Western Australia. He tried alcohol for the first time when he was 14 and loved it immediately.
 
Lewis' drinking took off while attending university in Perth where the social life mainly revolved around alcohol. He didn't realize at the time that he was drinking more than others. He completed his studies in Canada where his drinking escalated because he was away from family and responsibilities. The drinking became a daily habit when he began his career as a bartender while in Greece.
 
Lewis moved back to Australia and began working in a brewery. He enjoyed that fact that there were less people there judging him. He knew his drinking was problematic when more and more negative things started happening, but he wasn't ready to confront it. There were many attempts to moderate, and he was able to take breaks, but never got it completely under control.
 
In 2020, Lewis realized he was powerless over alcohol but wasn't ready to accept it. Moderation attempts continued and Lewis moved to Vermont hoping the geographical cure would help him. He was a binge drinker, so daily drinking wasn't a concern for him, but he began having falls and missing work due to his binges.
 
On his last binge, it finally occurred to him that if he kept going, he was going to lose everything or die. He woke up last June and made the decision to finally stop drinking.
 
Lewis joined AA and found a great community within it. He started out going to at least five meetings a week and found a sponsor in a friend he had previously met at the gym while he was still drinking. Lewis is very open about his recovery and has found that most people have been very supportive. 
 
Tools that are helpful to Lewis include podcasts, quit-lit, The Phoenix (sober workout community), his higher power and AA. Lewis is learning he can make plans, have goals and follow through with them.
 
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down
You gotta take the stairs back up.
We can do this!
 
 
 
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Sobriety Tracker iTunes 
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Café RE

Today we have Jack. He is 45 years old and from Los Angeles, CA. He took his last drink of alcohol on December 31st, 2024.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
 
Café RE – THE social app for sober people.
Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help
 
[02:47] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Last week Paul talked about the intentional phase of sobriety: choosing what you want to explore next and how you are going to fill the void left by alcohol.
 
Looking at Lewis and Clark, we know that no expedition goes according to plan. So this week we will talk about setbacks because they're part of life. Maybe it's relapse (or Field Research as we refer to it in RE). Maybe it's an injury that sidelines your new running routine or an illness that drains your energy for weeks. Or it may just be life being life.
 
The thing about setbacks – they don't erase your progress; they're just part of the terrain. If you drink again, you have not gone back to zero. You've gathered data. You know more now than you did before – about triggers, patterns, what works and what doesn't.
 
The goal here is not perfection, it's persistence. If you are facing a setback – big or small – ask yourself: what's the adjusted route? Not "should I give up?" but "how do I keep moving forward from here?"
 
[7:46] Paul introduces Jack:
 
Jack grew up in New Jersey but now lives in LA. He is a runner and currently training for a marathon. He loves movies and video games, and he is currently taking a fragrance development course and plans to build his own brand and launch his own fragrance in the future.
 
Growing up, Jack was always sensitive and shy kid. His parents drank and alcohol was just a regular part of life with wine at dinner and craft beer always around.
 
As a teenager, Jack drank to fit in at parties. Jack is gay and used alcohol to cancel out his anxiety and the awkwardness he felt socially. He says he didn't drink all the time and there were no real consequences, just teenage experimentation,
 
Jack drank on the weekends through college and enjoyed going out to gay clubs. After transferring from Savannah back to NYC, he finished school and got a job as a graphic designer. Drinking became a daily activity on his commutes and on weekends. Jack also began moonlighting as a DJ hosting parties in Manhattan and Brooklyn, something he always dreamed of doing when he was a teenager. This opened up a new world of nightlife for Jack.
 
Jack would drink all night while DJ'ing and go to work a few hours later. He had his first panic attack at work and while he knew that it was the hangover that triggered it but found that alcohol gave him instant relief. Blackouts began to happen regularly, and it dawned on Jack that he wasn't sure he was going to be able to stop drinking.
 
Jack became sober-curious in 2016. He started reading books and taking time off from drinking. Soon after this started his partner had an opportunity to go to grad school in Boston and Jack felt like this could be a clean slate.
 
After a few years alcohol-free, Jack felt like he could handle alcohol again. He planned to drink on his birthday. This opened the door for regression and within 6 months, the pandemic found Jack drinking just like he was before.
 
Jack's anxiety and panic attacks caused by his alcohol abuse were getting the best of him. After a rough weekend in Vegas, he drank through that holiday and knew that he couldn't continue to drink. He had heard about RE's Dry January course and burned the ships with his partner.
 
Jack said the course was exactly what he needed at the time and he knew within the first week that this is how he wants to live his life. He felt the pink cloud and euphoria from making the daily decision to be sober. He is an active member in Café RE, enjoys running, hiking, meditation and finding connections with community. Jack says he has gone from Passive Sobriety to Active Recovery.
 
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down
You got to take the stairs back up
We can do this.
 
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Sobriety Tracker iTunes 
RE YouTube