Recovery Elevator

Today we have Harvey. He is 71 years old, lives in Fort Myers, FL and took his last drink on January 18th, 2026.
 
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Registration for our annual Bozeman retreat begins on Wednesday April 1st. This event takes place August 12th-16th. This retreat is all about fun, laughter, smiles and silent disco. We didn't quit drinking to not have fun!  Musical guest Uprise will be back and it's going to be another awesome year.
 
[03:54] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Paul shares with us and excerpt from Shannon Alder regarding sensitive people. See if this rings true for you:
 
"Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won't tell you about themselves if they trust your kindness. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they will end the friendship. They live with guilt and constant pain over unresolved situations and misunderstandings. They are tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred or being hated. This type of person needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others. However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing and the ones that often become activists for the broken-hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. They are angels with broken wings that only fly when loved."
 
Would you consider yourself a sensitive person? It isn't a bad thing at all, because you feel. And look out, it's the sober, sensitive person through their healing that heals others. That's the work we are doing here.
 
[08:01] Paul introduces Harvey:
 
Harvey is originally from Brooklyn but has lived many other places and currently spends his time between Virginia Beach and Fort Myers, FL. Harvey met his wife in 1980, and they have been married over 40 years. He works part time for CNN audio and just celebrated his 71st birthday.
 
Harvey took his first drink when he was 16 and says it wasn't the "a-ha" moment that many others have had. In college, weed was Harvey's drug of choice until it stopped working for him. He was able to quit easily but alcohol proved to be different.
 
In 1987 after a move to LA, Harvey and his wife got into the wine culture. It wasn't until two years later that he began to question his drinking and realizing he often woke up not feeling well. This began a tradition of Dry January where Harvey and his wife would quit drinking to let their bodies heal but never because they thought they were alcoholics.
 
In 2011 Harvey had his first turning point in his drinking. He was apparently hiding his drinking from his wife. When she confronted him with the empties he was hiding, he decided to go to an addiction counselor. They recommended AA and Harvey attended daily until he attempted to work the steps. The Higher Power aspect soured him.
 
Harvey went back out for more field research. Over time his wife was growing tired of his drinking and he eventually decided in 2024 to get back into recovery and discovered Recovery Elevator and Café RE when seeking alternatives to AA. He says he jumped right into the community and hasn't left. 
 
Going forward Harvey is doing this for him and not just for his family. There have been a few difficult bouts of field research, but Harvey is committed to continuing his recovery. He acknowledges that he is coming to the acceptance phase of his grieving of alcohol. Harvey is exploring new hobbies, specifically music. He intends to continue going to Café RE chats, walking and being open to more opportunities to have fun.
 
Harvey's parting piece of guidance: don't put it off till next month or to Monday. If you've made the decision that you want to quit, do it immediately.
 
Recovery Elevator
We took the elevator down; we've got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
I love you guys.
 
 
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Today we have Butch. He is 49 years old and is from Indianapolis, IN and took his last drink on November 1st, 2025.
 
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[02:33] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Paul shares and excerpt from an interview with Steve-O, who has 17 years of sobriety.
 
Steve-O said the worst thing would be to kinda have alcoholism. To kinda have a drinking problem. Because kinda is where people live for 20 years. Kinda is how you blow your 40s. Kinda is how you show up halfway to everything that matters. For your kids, your marriage, your job, your actual life. And then wonder why nothing ever feels real.
 
And while you're busy deciding whether it's really that bad, the years are passing by. The other side of what Steve-O is saying – he isn't just describing a trap, he's describing a clear escape plan. By being here, you have already made the call. Maybe it's still messy and maybe it's still early and maybe some days you're not sure what you're doing. But you are here fully.
 
We are done with "kinda". You've made a decision, now don't question that decision. The years that are left are yours, listeners. Now you can show up for them.
 
[07:31] Paul introduces Butch:
 
Butch is 49 and lives in Indianapolis with his wife and their cat named Ezra. For fun he is learning to play the bass guitar and recently started blogging.
 
Butch says he had his first drink in high school and found it helped him cut loose, relax, be funny and he really enjoyed it. His drinking was mostly off and on until he and his girlfriend were out on their own in his early 20s and nobody other than his wife knew he was drinking so much. He had responsibilities but struggled to hold down a job. After about a year and a half, Butch was able to reel it in to just binge drinking on weekends.
 
Over time Butch was spending more and more time drinking by himself in his basement and not having the energy to do much the next day. He would then try and tell himself it would only be one or two drinks, but that never happened. It wasn't until his early 40s that he started to question if he had a problem. His wife at the time wasn't very supportive of him when he asked for support with his attempt to take a break from alcohol, so he continued to drink.
 
Soon after this marriage ended, Butch got remarried in 2022. A few weeks later he quit drinking for seven months and says he felt great physically and mentally. It was a trip to Vegas on his birthday that he found himself drinking again. Butch says he moderated while on the trip, but after coming back he found himself slowly drinking more and more even though his wife wouldn't allow him to isolate like before. Eventually Butch started feeling the anxiety coming back and just wasn't feeling good about his drinking. He is approaching 50 years old, has anxiety and physical pain and was just ready to stop.
 
Around his recent sobriety date, Butch burned the ships with his family and friends. They have all been very supportive of him. He woke up the morning of November 1st and was ready to give it another try. Within the first few weeks he started exercising and eating better, he and his wife would go for walks and go to bed early. He was feeling great again.
 
Butch never spend much time at church before being married to his current wife so they have been going regularly. Prayer and AA has been helpful to Butch. He has no plans of drinking again but knows it's "one day at a time". Some of the resource and recovery tools that Butch uses are podcasts, books and has recently started blogging in the health and wellness space but there is a lot of crossovers with his recovery. Butch is off of anti-anxiety medications, looks forward to travelling more, learning to play his bass guitar and hopes to get a car to work on soon to keep himself busy.
 
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down; you've got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
 
 
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Today we have Jan. She is 75 years old from Winchester, VA and took her last drink on February 1st, 2021.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
 
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Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we're going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, and submit your story, we'd love to have you. There is no sobriety time requirement so if your saying to yourself, well, I've only been sober 30 days, I can't submit my story, then nonsense. Send an email to [email protected] and you'll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.
 
**TRIGGER WARNING** this episode references firearms and sexual assault
 
[02:48] Thoughts from Paul:
 
A common phrase in the recovery space is "protect your energy". Paul feels it is a solid idea and tries to practice it as well. His goal in life had always been to bring people together and it has been a major pain point for him to see the current administration purposely trying to separate or divide Americans.
 
Paul tries to focus on what he can control and turn everything else – especially the news. He shares a story about a recent visit to his parents' house where the news was on and he couldn't find the remote to turn it off.
 
Paull mentions all of this to remind us of what RE stands for, which is community, connection, inclusivity and love. Many of the things going on in our country go completely against our mission so we have to protect our energy and turn that stuff off, and you should too.
 
[07:49] Paul introduces Jan:
 
Jan currently lives in Winchester, VA, she is divorced, has one adult son named Sam and a 14-year-old Pekingese. For fun Jan enjoys walking, hiking, being outside and dancing.
 
Jan started drinking when she was 19 and attending school in Europe. She reflects that she spent time with the wildest group where they did a lot of drugs and drank. When she returned to the US, she attended the University of Arizona and did a lot of traveling back in forth to Mexico and eventually ended up in Puerto Vallarta. Jan says she always gravitated to the people she shouldn't have.
 
Bad things began happening to Jan due to her drug and alcohol use. She found herself in a lot of scary situations that eventually led to her depression and desire to move back to the US. Jan began to attend AA and was able to maintain four years of sobriety about fifteen years ago but started drinking again.
 
There was no rock-bottom moment leading up Jan's quit date in 2021, but she was tired of the mental obsession with alcohol. She tried naltrexone and The Sinclair Method, Antabuse and discovered Café RE after a friend of her son suggested it. She quit drinking right around the same time she joined.
 
Over the years prior to quitting drinking, Jan had been misdiagnosed with different mental health disorders. Since she has quit, she no longer needs the meds they believed she did. Jan says she sees things more clearly and enjoys photography now. Her love of nature has increased. The connection piece in recovery has also been very important to Jan, and she enjoys hosting some of the chats within Café RE. She stresses that we can't do this alone and having community is vital to recovery.
 
One of Jan's favorite recovery quotes is that it's a lot easier to stay sober than to get sober. Some of her advice for those new in recovery is to get involved with community, listen to podcasts, read quit lit and attend meetups.
 
 
Recovery Elevator
Go big because eventually we'll all go home.
Love thy neighbor.
I love you guys.
 
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Today we have Kendra. She is 38 years old from Central Minnesota and took her last drink on March 22nd, 2024.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
 
Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help
Café RE – THE social app for sober people
 
Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we're going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, and submit your story, we'd love to have you. There is no sobriety time requirement so if your saying to yourself, well, I've only been sober 30 days, I can't submit my story, then nonsense. Send an email to [email protected] and you'll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.
 
Recovery Elevator's first ever Sober Ukelele Retreat will be November 7th-14th, 2026. Registration opens May 1st.
 
[03:42] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Today Paul unwraps the reason that we drink. It isn't because alcohol is the most addictive drug on the planet or because you like the taste of wood, hops or earthy floral notes. For millions of years, humans evolved with the expectation of a loving and accepting community to be surrounding us at all times. In the modern world we are ripped away from this and are expected to be okay by ourselves.
 
The opposite of addiction is connection, and we've never been more disconnected as a species.
 
Be kind to yourself, this is not your fault. The pain that something was missing landed in your biology likely before you said your first word. This is why we all carry so much shame when something is missing or wrong we internalize it as if we are the problem and we are bad. Again, this is not your fault. But it is tasked to you, us, we to course correct – and we are.
 
[08:25] Paul introduces Kendra:
 
Kendra was previously interviewed on episode 501. She is 38 years old and has one 19-year-old daughter. She is a nephrology practice nurse and for fun she likes to cook, walk, bike, cycle and rollerblade.
 
Kendra never drank in high school and was an overachiever. She had great grades and played hockey. Kendra had her daughter when she was 19 so was unable to further her hockey career into college. Her daughter was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at six days old and Kendra says that forced her to grow up quickly.
 
Kendra had her first drink at age 21 and while she got very sick, she loved the relief that it gave her. Drinking helped her cope with the "what the hell am I doing in life" feelings and was an outlet for her stress of raising her daughter.
 
In 2008, Kendra got into a relationship and they drank regularly. He was able to moderate whereas Kendra was not. It was a balancing act keeping up with her party girl persona, raising her daughter and going to school to establish a career for herself.
 
After her divorce in 2018, she wasn't around alcohol as much but still struggled with the off switch. When the hangovers started affecting her day-to-day life, she realized she had an issue. Kendra says she was capable of managing her drinking for a time as she was building a successful life for herself but would still binge drink on weekends when she had the opportunity.
 
In 2023, while attempting moderation, Kendra concluded that alcohol wasn't fostering any positivity in her life. She knew she needed to quit. She had already been tracking her sobriety streaks and would get upset with herself when she broke them. She found the app I Am Sober helpful to keep track her streaks and feel like she was making progress.
 
Having already been reading quit lit and listening the RE podcast, she was priming herself to finally move on from alcohol. After her last drink, Kendra began focusing on rest, meditation, breathwork and doing a lot of walking and listening to podcasts about recovery, health and longevity. Since quitting, Kendra has found mental clarity, less anxiety and her meditation practice helps keep her centered.
 
 
Recovery Elevator
This isn't a no to alcohol
But a yes to a better life
 
 
 
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Today we have Tom. He is 40 years old from New Canaan, CT and took his last drink on July 12th, 2024.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
 
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Happy March! The Café RE theme this month is Mindfulness and Awareness. This key topic helps us build awareness and space, which ultimately gives us the freedom to make different choices beyond drinking. Café RE will feature chats focused on mindfulness. It has been said that the most powerful medicine can't match the power of awareness.
 
Recovery Elevator is compiling a list of recovery stories and we're going to put them in a book called This is How We Quit. If you want to be part of this book, and submit your story, we'd love to have you. There is no sobriety time requirement so if your saying to yourself, well, I've only been sober 30 days, I can't submit my story, then nonsense. Send an email to [email protected] and you'll get a google form to fill out and submit your story.
 
[03:56] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Paul shares with us a quote from author Brianna Wiest.
 
"Your new life is going to cost you your old one.
It's going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense
of direction.
It's going to cost you relationships and friends.
It's going to cost you being liked and understood.
It doesn't matter.
The people who are meant for you are going to meet you
on the other side. You're going to build a new comfort
zone around the things that actually move you forward.
Instead of being liked, you're going to be loved. Instead of
being understood, you're going to be seen.
All you're going to lose is what was built for a person you
no longer are."
[06:25] Paul introduces Tom:
 
Tom is 40 years old and lives in New Canaan, CT. He is a construction superintendent, is married and they have 5-year-old twins. For fun, Tom enjoys gold, skiing and spending time with his kids.
 
Tom first drank at age 14 and says he frequently blacked out when he drank going forward. There were multiple legal consequences throughout his late teens and early twenties as his binge drinking continued through college. Around age 21, Tom began using cocaine which enabled him to drink more with less blackouts.
 
After college, Tom and his friends mainly drank on the weekend. Fast forward a few years and he found himself drinking alone during the week while his friends did not. As time progressed, he would wake up daily and trash talk himself for not being able to stop at just one or two. He felt like Jekyll and Hyde and struggled with that throughout his 30's.
 
In 2020, Tom's twins were born. He struggled to juggle his drinking life and his family life. His wife was growing frustrated, and Tom wasn't the parent that he had hoped he would be. In spite of this, he never really thought about quitting drinking, but quickly realized moderation didn't work. He knew he would need to quit drinking for himself and not just for his family. His wife was growing frustrated, and Tom knew he would lose everything if he didn't quit.
 
On June 12th, 2024, Tom was going to start a new job and looked at it as a clean slate. He says quitting was awkward and he began to talk to an alcohol counselor that helped him a lot. Within the first few months Tom felt better physically and able to establish a workout routine which helped him start the day in a better headspace. He started listening to the RE podcast and relating to others' stories. Exercise has become a hobby for Tom. Woodworking is a hobby that has come back for Tom as well, he takes pride in the projects he completes now.
 
Tom's parting piece of guidance: If you can make it through the first couple of days, and start to see the benefit, it'll get better every day. There'll be bad moments and challenging moments, but don't give up.
 
 
Recovery Elevator
Remember this is an inside job. It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
 
 
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