Recovery Elevator

Today we have Taku. He is 44 years old, lives in Tokyo, Japan, and took his last drink on September 25th, 2021.
 
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You may have noticed there is a new podcast intro and outro song on this episode by our very own Pablo Church. The song will be available on Spotify and Apple Music next Monday, October 16th.
 
[03:40] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Paul reminds us of the difference between sobriety and recovery. Sobriety means not drinking alcohol, but simply removing alcohol doesn't necessarily address the reasons someone drank in the first place. While sobriety is an important step toward health and healing, recovery goes deeper.
 
Sobriety is abstinence, staying away from something. Recovery is abstinence, and getting to the root of unease that caused you to reach for the drink in the first place. Recovery is the opposite of a dry drunk but just being sober oftentimes goes hand in hand with being a dry drunk.
 
Recovery is creating a life where alcohol isn't needed. Ask yourself, are you sober or are you in recovery?
 
[09:07] Paul introduces Taku:
 
Taku currently lives in Japan and works in translation for an American company. He is married and they have no children. For fun, they enjoy specialty coffee and Taku enjoys playing music and attending live concerts.
 
Born in Japan and raised in the United States, Taku grew up navigating two cultures and languages. He often felt like he didn't quite belong, and social anxiety made it difficult to feel comfortable in his own skin. At 15 or 16, he discovered alcohol and immediately felt at home. Drinking eased his anxiety and made it easier to connect with people.
 
What began as a social lubricant escalated in college, where blackouts became part of the picture. After moving back to Japan and entering the corporate world, Taku relied on alcohol to transform from a reserved professional into the funny, outgoing guy at night. Losing his belongings and regretting things he said while drinking became familiar, but he rationalized the consequences.
 
In his late 30s, Taku transferred to Los Angeles, where his drinking intensified. He drank nightly and regularly drove drunk. During a vacation with his wife, he drank so much that an argument in a taxi led to police involvement and a night in a Riverside County jail. His visa was later revoked, and he quit his job and returned to Japan. Despite these consequences, he continued drinking heavily.
 
On September 25, 2021, Taku went out with his wife and friends determined to drink "like a gentleman." Instead, he blacked out again and received an angry text from his wife. The next morning, he finally recognized the cycle he had been repeating since his teens: drinking, making mistakes, apologizing, and promising to quit. He began to wonder what life might look like if he simply took alcohol out of the equation.
 
Taku found Paul's TED Talk and the Recovery Elevator podcast, which helped him commit to exploring sobriety. Two weeks later, he attended his first AA meeting in Tokyo. Despite his nervousness, he found a welcoming community where he could share the parts of his story he had hidden from others without being judged. Connecting with people who understood his experience helped him realize he didn't need alcohol to be himself or to feel that he belonged.
 
In his first year, Taku thought his drinking problem wasn't severe enough to require a sponsor or the 12 steps. Eventually, he recognized the value of facing his inner struggles and found a sponsor. Now, more than five years sober, he reflects on how accepting help and finding connection helped change his life.
 
Taku's parting piece of guidance for someone thinking about quitting drinking: "it gets easier, and it gets better."
 
Recovery Elevator
We took the elevator down.
We got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
 
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Today we have Lani. She is 38 years old, lives in Salt Lake City, UT and she took her last drink on June 9th, 2026.
 
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[03:05] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Earlier this year David from episode 142 sent Paul the song Find Your People by Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors. Paul's first reaction was "holy crap, this song was written for Recovery Elevator". He rebranded the Bozeman Retreat into Find Your People Retreat and with the musical accompaniment of Uprise, the group sang this song every day.
 
The message within the lyrics reminds us that the opposite of addiction is connection and when you ditch the drink and find your people, your brain will heal. Your liver will send you a thank you card, your dopamine system will rewire, and life will smooth out.
 
You've heard so many times on this podcast that sobriety is all about recovering your authentic self, than you need to find yourself, and you need others to do that. When you find your people, then you find yourself.
 
[07:27] Paul introduces Lani:
 
Lani is 38 years old and works in the juvenile justice system, providing trauma-informed care to youth. She has a dog named Chip, a partner named Audrey, and enjoys hiking, kayaking, yoga, gardening, and spending time outdoors.
Lani grew up in Utah in a home affected by chaos and her estranged father's alcoholism. Searching for belonging and structure, she became involved in the LDS church. She began drinking in high school despite promising herself she wouldn't follow in her father's footsteps. After leaving the church around 2010, alcohol gradually became a bigger part of her life, eventually progressing to daily drinking.
In 2018, after graduating from college and recognizing that her relationship was toxic and her drinking was out of control, Lani planned to become a flight attendant. After drinking heavily, the night before an important test, she failed and felt something needed to change. She moved to Dallas and attended an AA meeting, where she found a sense of belonging and met her first sponsor. She stayed sober for about six months, even living out of her car and tent for a period while working and attending meetings.
After moving back to Utah, Lani relapsed. Over the following years, she moved to Colorado and back to Utah, changed jobs, and experienced more difficult relationships. Despite periods of sobriety, including nearly seven months in 2024, she repeatedly returned to daily drinking.
In October 2025, Lani went to treatment after a frightening experience involving alcohol and travel. She continued drinking after treatment, eventually reaching another breaking point during a trip to Seattle. After returning home, she tapered off alcohol to manage withdrawal symptoms and returned to an AA meeting on June 10th, 2026.
Now 78 days sober at the time of recording, Lani is learning to let herself break, accept help, and stop pretending she is okay. She struggles with the concept of a higher power but is finding meaning in meditation, journaling, daily meetings, and connecting with nature. She is also learning to give herself permission to rest and allow recovery to unfold one day at a time.
Lani's parting piece of guidance: Be patient with yourself and just try. There's no right or wrong way to do it. Invite someone in. Don't do it by yourself. There are people that are willing to talk with you about it. And if that's where it starts, let it be that.
Recovery Elevator
We took the elevator down.
We got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
 
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Today we have John. He is 39 years old, lives in Vermont, and he took his last drink on July 15th, 2026.
 
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[02:43] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Paul says that when he first quit drinking and entered the rooms of recovery, he heard so many sayings or recovery slogans and most of them made him roll his eyes. But now when he hears them, he recognizes the wisdom baked into these lines.
 
Paul shares numerous phrases with us that many of us will recognize, but the one that got the biggest eyeroll out of him when he first got sober was "One Day at a Time". There is so much in this five-word phrase.
 
Shortened to three words, it is The Present Moment. Shortened even further to one word, NOW. Eckhart Tolle wrote a whole book about it.
 
If you find yourself thinking about how you're going to make it through the witching hour sober, you're not there yet. Or how you're going to be AF for the rest of your life? You're not there yet either. One day at a time means to be here in this moment.
 
You've heard it before on this podcast, but addiction is the greatest life curriculum that one can be blessed with. You're blessed with the opportunity to fully dissect the saying one day at a time because the other side of an addiction is trying to get you to live in the present moment.
 
[06:22] Paul introduces John:
 
John is 39, lives in Vermont, and works in quality control and production. For fun, he enjoys golf and basketball and has rediscovered his love of reading. He says his alcohol-free journey began with Annie Grace's This Naked Mind.
 
John first started drinking in his early teens. He and his friends drank and smoked pot on weekends throughout high school, except during sports seasons when he would tone it down. John began questioning when the last time was that he and his buddies had done anything sober. He says programming took over, and alcohol became woven into the fabric of everything.
When John bought his first home in his early 20s, he adopted the habit of having a beer or two after work. He knew drinking might be a problem but never considered quitting.
 
In his late 20s, John began dating a woman who didn't drink much. After she moved in, they began drinking together. Over time, John's drinking worsened, and hers ramped up too. His work schedule and drinking habits made it difficult to make plans, and their relationship began to suffer.
 
About four years ago, John started reading quit lit and listening to podcasts. He realized he didn't have control over his drinking and unsuccessfully tried moderation. His girlfriend confronted him, and although he promised to do better, he began hiding his drinking. He felt weak when he realized he couldn't control it.
 
While listening to the RE podcast, John heard stories that reminded him of himself. Hearing others' success motivated him because he realized that if they could do it, so could he. He planned to wean himself off alcohol over a few weeks, but on the fourth day, he woke up knowing he needed to stop.
 
John used journaling to stay motivated and made a list of all he had lost while drinking. He began reading more quit lit, he joined a gym, bought a basketball, and began exercising. He is now focused on building a routine and a support network.
 
In the past when John tried to quit, he was doing it to prove to someone else that he could do it. This time, he is in it for the long haul. He hasn't had cravings and is just looking forward to finding new things to do to occupy his time.
 
John's parting piece of guidance: "Today's the day. Every single day that I waited, I look back and wish I would have quit a day sooner."
 
 
Recovery Elevator
We took the elevator down.
We got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
 
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Today we have Alysse. She is 51 years old, lives in Seattle, WA and she took her last drink on April 30th, 2006.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
 
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[02:58] Thoughts from Paul:
 
The topic for today's podcast is Think Happy Thoughts. This links well with the most prolific teaching we covered last week, which is The Golden Rule.
 
The human brain is the most powerful manifestation machine on planet earth. What you put out there is what you get back. Removing alcohol from your life is a HUGE step forward, but then it all comes down to the mental state you choose.
 
Author Jay Shetty has a book called Think like a Monk. He has a line about your thoughts that he wants you to ask if the thought is a seed or a weed. If it's a weed, let it go. If it's a seed, keep building on it. Add water, healthy soil and all of that.
 
The MOST IMPORTANT part of thinking happy thoughts is AWARENESS. You have to first become aware of your thoughts.
 
Paul shares that he uses journaling often. He writes about things he is looking forward to and tries to be aware of his thoughts throughout the day. We often think the answer to our problems needs to be complicated and located outside of ourselves. It's within and it starts upstairs.
 
[08:01] Paul introduces Alysse:
 
Alysse just turned 51 and recently celebrated 20 years of sobriety. She lives in Seattle, WA, is single, and has one son. She is considering going into business for herself and enjoys content creation and arts and crafts.
 
Alysse grew up in a small town, attended a Christian school until her teens, and says she lived a sheltered life. She first drank during her sophomore year of high school and says she drank alcoholically from the beginning.
 
Alysse briefly attended college before dropping out and working for the airlines. At 20, she became pregnant and hoped motherhood would improve her life. She abstained from drinking for most of her pregnancy, but afterward returned to substance use, which quickly became heavier.
 
Alysse describes her 20s as a cycle of moving in and out of her parents' house, changing jobs and friend groups, and using alcohol and drugs.
 
At 30, Alysse moved to Seattle and began selling newspaper advertising, viewing the move as a fresh start. Instead, her substance use changed. Once more social, she now spent much of her time alone.
 
Around this time, Alysse began carpooling with a sober coworker who offered support. Though hesitant, she eventually attended her first AA meeting. She also began therapy but was never completely honest about her drinking. After an intake at a rehab facility, inpatient treatment was recommended, but she chose to return for outpatient care once her son could stay with her parents for the summer.
 
At that first AA meeting, Alysse heard stories she identified with and realized she was not alone. She began to accept that she might be an alcoholic. On the drive home, her "check engine" light came on, which she took as a sign that this was her last chance—her "burning bush" moment.
 
Alysse and her coworker began attending meetings during lunch, and she entered outpatient treatment. She did all the right things externally, but years later realized she needed deeper internal work. Depression had become consuming, and she had become a workaholic. She began addressing her depression, committed more deeply to the 12 Steps, and focused on being of service.
 
In 2020, Alysse launched The Sober Curator, creating a space to keep people in long-term sobriety entertained, inspired, and motivated to keep going. There is a newsletter that is emailed each week updating what they have recently shared on the site.
 
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down.
You've got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
 
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Today we have Karen. She is 50 years old, from Chicopee, MA and she took her last drink of alcohol on January 13th, 2024.
 
This episode is brought to you by:
                                        
Sign up and get 10% off: Better Help
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[03:20] Thoughts from Paul:
 
Paul loops back to episode 599 which was titled Romanticizing the Drink. He wants to bring that idea back into consciousness and gives us two things to remember the next time we get the idea that a drink would take the edge off or make life better. Number one, it is total bullshit. Number two, he wants us to start romanticizing the clear mornings. Romanticize less financial stress and a liver that is properly functioning.
 
Through the recovery process, Paul shares that he has learned about so many different healing modalities: meditation, breathwork, yoga, goat yoga and many more. But none are more important than The Golden Rule (aka, love they neighbor). Most people in the modern world reject this teaching due to its simplicity. Basically, it is the idea that what you put out there is what you get back.
 
[09:12] Paul introduces Karen:
 
Karen is 50 years old and lives in Chicopee, MA with her husband of 25 years, and their two sons. She has been a nurse for 27 years. For fun, she enjoys hanging out with her dog, loves fitness and practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.
 
Karen states that she was always a normal drinker until her mid-thirties when she fell into the "Mommy Wine Culture" trap. Her kids were older and she began drinking on the weekends at first, but it gradually crept into a daily habit.
 
As Karen got into her forties, she started to feel the effects of drinking every day. Her insomnia on the drinking nights and the aches, pains and low energy began to catch up to her. She never believed it was the alcohol and instead assumed it was symptoms of perimenopause.
 
Karen initially started trying to moderate the wine in an effort to save some calories and hopefully lose some weight. She says it didn't go well. On the days that Karen didn't drink she said it was boring and she was irritable.
 
Late December 2023, Karen started feeling sluggish and was sick and tired of being sick and tired. She began to see that she was drinking faster than others when they were out to dinner. She checked her budget for the year and was surprised how much was spent at the bottle shop on cases of wine each month.
 
The last straw for Karen was in January 2024 when she and a coworker decided to hold each other accountable and only drink on Fridays and Saturdays. The first weekend was ok but she felt she knuckled white through the first week. On the second Saturday, the dread she felt that she would not be able to drink for almost a whole week was overwhelming. This made her recognize that maybe this was more than just being a wine girl and that she was actually addicted.
 
Karen decided to take a break to show alcohol that she was in charge. Karen discovered some reels and TikToks of people talking about quitting drinking and the benefits of it. This sparked her interest and she was determined to see if she could gain any of those benefits for herself.
 
Almost immediately, Karen's sleep improved.  She shares that she did have some physical withdrawals and was dealing with anxiety, depression and anhedonia. It was around the 100 day mark that Karen realized that she had all the evidence she needed to stay quit. She was on the other side and began to see the beautiful side of sobriety. She had joined Café RE and was hooked on being able to have daily support, participate in the chats with others who understood where she was.
 
Karen's parting piece of guidance: you've got to do all the things. And if you do all the things and feed this beast enough time, you'll find success on the other side.
 
 
Recovery Elevator
We took the elevator down.
We got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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Sobriety Tracker iTunes 
RE YouTube