This Naked Mind Podcast

⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains references to domestic violence and a mental health crisis.

Who am I without alcohol? Does that question sound eerily familiar? Steph and Nicole both find themselves grappling with that very idea and wondering what the answer will mean for them. Steph is 55, and alcohol has been by her side and has helped define her for most of her adult life. Nicole looks to alcohol for the answers and to smooth the rough edges, and isn’t sure if she’s capable of being herself with a glass in her hand. Coaches Cole and Hayley help provide guidance and hope in this week’s episode.

Steph discusses:

Why "loss of identity" became the real subject of her coaching call, not just the drinking

The belief that she'd failed herself and her friends, and how that belief kept her stuck

Why chasing a "finished" identity by a deadline backfires

The threshold metaphor, and why stepping into the unknown feels safer than staying somewhere familiar but unwanted

Her plan to resign from teaching by May 1st, and what she's choosing to let go of first

Nicole discusses:

How alcohol became tangled with her identity before she ever turned 21

The seven-year relationship and the night that ended with her in a hospital for three days

November 5, 2025: the day she sat in her car and decided something had to change

Why grace and curiosity did more for her than willpower ever did

What she calls her "2D glasses" moment, and what she sees now that alcohol's gone

And more…

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more.

Until next week, stay curious!

Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/

Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach with training from the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Hayley understands how tough change can be and provides a safe, compassionate, and judgment-free space where her clients can feel supported. Learn more about Coach Hayley: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/

Episode links:

More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/who-am-i-without-alcohol-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-929/Join The Path: nakedmindpath.com

Related episodes:

How To Uncouple Alcohol and Identity | Naked Life Story | EP 549 -https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-549-naked-life-story-andrew/Who Am I Without Wine?: Identity & Sophistication | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | E801 - https://thisnakedmind.com/creating-a-new-identity-after-quitting-drinking-alcohol-freedom-freedom-coaching-e801/Why Do I Feel Detached When I’m Not Drinking? | Reader’s Question | EP 122 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-122-reader-question-feel-detached-im-not-drinking/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

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What does building a life you don't want to escape from actually take? Donna joined The Path in March 2021 after a COVID grocery store moment she couldn't unsee and hasn't had a drink since. Now five years in, she's back with Coach Hayley to share what's genuinely changed, what she's still working through, and a question that keeps getting more interesting.

Donna and Coach Hayley discuss:


That COVID grocery store moment, four wine clubs in a week, and what she calls "the gift COVID gave her"


The beta reader who said her memoir should have said more about her drinking, and what she heard two weeks later


Why confidence was her number one benefit from stopping, and how alcohol was worsening her anxiety while she believed it was helping


The 90-second rule for processing difficult emotions without numbing, and the morning practice she's built over five years


Why building a life you don't want to escape from is still the deeper work at year five


And more on forgiveness, gratitude, and what five years of alcohol freedom actually sounds like...

Episode links: nakedmindpath.com

Related episodes:

Naked Life Story — Donna | NLS | EP 465 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-465-naked-life-story-donna

Why Does Drinking Alcohol Make Me Anxious? | Reader Question | EP 684 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-684-readers-question-why-does-drinking-alcohol-make-me-anxious/

The Cost of Fitting In | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 785 - https://thisnakedmind.com/the-cost-of-fitting-in-alcohol-freedom-coaching-e785/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains references to childhood abuse, parental alcoholism, and the death of a parent from alcohol-related illness.

Most of us were never taught how to give ourselves grace about drinking, only how to judge ourselves for it. Kelly and Amber are proof that the shame and guilt show up no matter how different the situation looks. For Kelly, it shows up after a weekend of drinking that went further than she planned. For Amber, it shows up the moment someone she's dating asks why she's not drinking, and a much older fear takes over.

Kelly discusses:

Why her biggest data point yet, a full night out at a friend's timeshare, left her more unsettled than any smaller one had

The real difference between "I've proven I can" drink moderately and "I've proven I can" have a great time without it

Why Coach Hayley adds the word "yet" every time Kelly says she can't figure out why she drinks

Admitting she's skipped a Path call because she didn't want to say out loud that she'd had a fun night of drinking

Using the ACT technique on the belief "it's part of my culture," and what that opens up

Amber discusses:

Why she can turn down a drink at work without blinking but freezes the second a date asks why she doesn't drink

The exact body sensation she calls "bracing for impact," and the part Coach Cole admits he carries too

Asking the part of her that calls itself broken what it's actually trying to protect her from

The Sharon Salzberg line about meditation that becomes her new mantra for catching herself mid-spiral

The exact phrase Amber swaps in for "I'm broken," and why it changes how she shows up on a date

And more…

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Coach Hayley Scherders is a certified TNM Coach trained through the Canadian Addiction and Mental Health Association. Learn more about Coach Hayley: thisnakedmind.com/coach/hayley-scherders/

Coach Cole Harvey is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach and habit change and mindset coach. Learn more about Coach Cole: thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/

Episode links:

More on this episode: https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/how-to-give-yourself-grace-about-drinking-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-927/

The Path: nakedmindpath.com

Related Episodes:

Alcohol Addiction and Shame - Hayley's Naked Life - EP 679 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-679-naked-life-story-hayley-s/

Healing Through Self-Love - Cole's Naked Life - EP 737 - https://thisnakedmind.com/healing-through-self-love-coles-naked-life-e737/

How Do I Get Over the Fear of Being Kind to Myself? - Reader Question - EP 552 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-552-reader-question-how-do-i-get-over-the-fear-of-being-kind-to-myself/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, Quince, Shopify, Zazzle, and OSEA.

BetterHelp: BetterHelp is offering our listeners 10% off at ⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind⁠

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/naked⁠

Shopify: Sign up for free trial at ⁠shopify.com/mind⁠

Zazzle: Save 25% on your first order at ⁠zazzle.com⁠

OSEA: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code NAKEDMIND at ⁠OSEAMalibu.com⁠

Trigger warning: This episode contains references to drunk driving, DWIs, and thoughts of not wanting to live.

Zita was in her kitchen in 2017, working up the nerve for a hard conversation with her boyfriend, when the thought arrived: "You know what would make this easier?" She took a shot to self-soothe before the conversation, and it worked so well that her brain filed alcohol away as the answer to hard moments from then on. She's a registered nurse in her mid-30s who felt nothing when she watched other people drink, all the way through nursing school, with no reason to think that thought would change anything. It did. Three years and several DWIs later, one blacked-out night finally made her stop and ask what she was doing. Now approaching five years alcohol-free, she shares her story.

Zita and Coach Cole discuss:

How one shot before a hard conversation taught her brain a lesson it never unlearned

Why year two brought DWIs and car accidents, then a family intervention she wasn't ready to hear

The hiding stage, and what it costs to act unaffected while drunk around people who love you

Waking up unable to remember the night she drove food to her sick brother

Why she never missed a nursing shift while everything else came apart

The promise to her mom she couldn't keep, and what that finally broke open

How one addiction specialist's number, 90 days, became the only thing she could hold onto

And more on faith, filling her own cup, and what it really means to find your own path to alcohol freedom…

Ready to take the next step? Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Episode links:

thisnakedmind.com/book

More on this episode:

https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/using-alcohol-to-self-soothe-zita-naked-life-ep-926/

Related episodes:

Naked Life Story | Simone | EP 207 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-207-naked-life-story-simone/

How Do You Deal With Stress Without Alcohol? | Reader Question | EP 158 - https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-158-how-do-you-deal-with-stress-without-alcohol/

When Alcohol Is The Only Coping Tool You Know | Alcohol Freedom Coaching | EP 917 - https://thisnakedmind.com/how-to-stop-using-alcohol-to-cope-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-917/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

⚠️ Trigger warning: This episode contains references to psychological and emotional abuse in a marriage. 

The answer to "why I use alcohol to cope" is rarely what you expect. For Will, it’s buried in a need for control he's carried since a chaotic childhood. For Kathleen, it comes from decades of being the one everyone else leans on. Coaches Cole and Zoe help Will and Kathleen take steps towards freeing themselves from that weight.

Will discusses:

Decades of using alcohol to quiet a busy brain, and what happens after the first beer

Why knowing the pattern isn’t enough

The childhood fear of instability that shows up as a desperate need for answers and control

Coach Cole’s reframe: curious versus combat, connect versus control

A body scan moment where he notices tension in real time and releases it

The video game map metaphor — taking the next step without needing to see the whole path

Kathleen discusses:

Being introduced to alcohol at 16 as a social crutch when she moved to a new town

What her mother modeled, and how she replicated it without realizing it for decades

The hero child dynamic — being her father’s favorite and her mother’s confidant, and what that cost her

A 28-year emotionally abusive marriage, and how alcohol became her numbing agent

Learning to ask for what she needs directly, rather than hoping her husband picks it up

The unexpected parallel: she’s now modeling her mother’s behavior by going alcohol-free

…and more

Ready to take the next step?

Visit https://learn.thisnakedmind.com/podcast-resources for free resources, programs, and more. Until next week, stay curious!

Cole Harvey is a certified Naked Mind Senior Coach. As a habit change and mindset coach, Cole helps men understand themselves, build better habits, and find meaning. Learn more about Coach Cole: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/cole-harvey/

Zoe Ewart is a Certified Naked Mind Senior Coach who brings her experience and understanding to help with the tricky parts of life's big changes. Her coaching gives you an enjoyable, light-hearted, and safe environment to effortlessly take back control of alcohol so you can feel better physically, mentally, and spiritually. Learn more about Coach Zoe: https://thisnakedmind.com/coach/zoe-ewart/

Episode links:

More on this episode - https://thisnakedmind.com/podcast/why-i-use-alcohol-to-cope-alcohol-freedom-coaching-ep-925

Start your alcohol freedom journey: https://nakedmindpath.com

Related episodes:

Healing Through Self-Love: Cole’s Naked Life — E737 — https://thisnakedmind.com/healing-through-self-love-coles-naked-life-e737/

Healing Emotional Pain Without Alcohol - Reader’s Question - EP 706 – https://thisnakedmind.com/ep-706-readers-question-healing-emotional-pain-without-alcohol/

Reclaiming Your True Self: Alcohol Freedom Coaching — E770 — https://thisnakedmind.com/reclaiming-your-true-self-alcohol-freedom-coaching-e770/

Follow on Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-naked-mind-podcast/id1287269357

Follow on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0UB06sNguPjVvgAYFBcR9I?si=b7568f24c21249ff

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp, Quince, Shopify, Zazzle, and OSEA.

BetterHelp: BetterHelp is offering our listeners 10% off at ⁠betterhelp.com/nakedmind⁠

Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at ⁠quince.com/naked⁠

Shopify: Sign up for free trial at ⁠shopify.com/mind⁠

Zazzle: Save 25% on your first order at ⁠zazzle.com⁠

OSEA: Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code NAKEDMIND at ⁠OSEAMalibu.com⁠