• Introduction of Love Thy Neighbor as a relationship-focused show with hosts Colette Fehr, Daniel Dennis, Tom Vann • Early success: ranked #141 worldwide in relationship podcasts, airing on Real Radio 104.1 with affiliate expansion plans • Key truth: no perfect relationships; flaws, wounds, unrealistic ideals exist • Every relationship can improve, though not all marriages; toxic or abusive ones should end • Examples of divorced couples maintaining healthy or even friendly ties, often for children’s sake • Self-reflection and personal responsibility as crucial for improvement • Awkwardness of exes with new partners, but maturity can turn it positive • Emotional extremes in love and hate, managing reactions with tools like the 90-second rule • Celebrity focus: Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban divorce after 19 years • Backlash unfairly blaming Nicole’s career; double standards in divorce narratives • Challenges of Hollywood marriages: distance, infidelity risk, media pressure • Justin and Hailey Bieber facing false divorce rumors shows impact of speculation • Concept of "divorce contagion" where breakups unsettle others’ relationships • Public scrutiny of celebrity infidelity vs ordinary people’s limited chances • Infidelity trends shifting, more women involved; workplace common site for affairs • Listener voicemail: wife worries about retiring early, depending on husband’s income • Concerns about medical costs, loss of independence, fear of resentment • Hosts stress clarifying husband’s real feelings, suggest passion projects or part-time work • Therapy may help adjust mindset; alimony offers safety if divorce occurs • Discussion of mental load in relationships beyond chores • Homework: six-second kiss felt awkward but builds intimacy and bonding • Therapy insights: most problems unsolvable, focus on how couples handle them • Self-work over blaming partner; shaming is counterproductive • Promotion of Colette’s book The Cost of Quiet, releasing on her 52nd birthday, pre-order online • Colette’s podcast Insights from the Couch covers midlife issues with guests like Dr. Nadine Macaluso • Encouragement for listeners to leave reviews and ratings • Invitation for audience questions via email or T&D app voicemail • Reminder: more content available on A Mediocre Time with Tom and Dan ### **Social Media:** [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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LTN 1 - Why Couples Stop Talking!
• Launch of “Love Thy Neighbor” with therapist Colette Fehr • Colette’s TEDx talk on relationships (April 3) and 13 years of experience • Her first marriage as “surface perfection” (family, labs, SUVs, picket fence) but emotionally empty • Husband’s disengagement, loneliness, and realization of controllable vs. uncontrollable factors • Conflict avoidance as central issue; fear of arguments; lack of modeled healthy resolution at home • Growing up in “suffer in silence” or emotionally closed households • Comfort discussing with colleagues vs. difficulty with spouses due to higher stakes • Acting despite fear as her first principle; few families openly model conflict • Breaking intergenerational anger patterns and temper issues • Avoidance behaviors and male fear of losing intimacy after anger • Band-Aid analogy: ignoring wounds vs. addressing issues • Male tendency to equate sex with connection; women needing connection before sex • Misinterpretations fueling breakdowns; frustration over vague requests • Desire for clear, task-oriented path to intimacy; comparison to instructional videos • Wizard of Oz ruby slippers metaphor: solutions are within • Conflict as surprising but powerful way to connect • Sharing fears builds closeness; vulnerability as risky but vital • Reframing conflict talk as “magic trick” for connection • Emotions as signals: sadness = loss, anger = need for change • Facing conflict repeatedly reduces fear; positive reinforcement when met with care • Disconnection signs: neglecting kisses goodnight, passing interactions, deprioritizing spouse • Long-married regret at silence; lighthouse metaphor for ignored warnings • Connection misunderstood until laughter or joy appears, but disconnection returns easily • Emotional vs. logical partner dynamics; “double Tom” (logic) vs. “double Dan” (emotion) struggles • Pursuer–withdrawer pattern: one chases, one retreats; substances as withdrawal metaphor • Therapy works within temperament, not personality change • Joking, dismissing, or passive-aggression block openness • Three key skills: act despite fear, be vulnerable, be assertive • Assertiveness ≠ aggression; contrast with passive and passive-aggressive styles • Humor as defense derailing intimacy; discomfort as barrier to openness • Feeling “seen and heard” as core unit of connection • Vulnerable moments often cut short when intensity feels overwhelming • Date nights valuable only if genuine, not superficial • Show up like first date: engaged, curious, listening, no phones • Curiosity fades over time; partners must ask deeper, specific, open-ended questions • Parenting tips (like “new dad” texts) adapted for spouse conversations • Starter prompts when partner seems uninteresting (“what’s on your mind?”) • Pretend partner is fascinating to rekindle interest • Overcoming sense new habits are fake; effort itself is authenticity • “I love you but not in love” cliché explained by loss of limerence vs. deeper fear • Limerence as neurochemical high (6–36 months); sustaining love requires practice • Social media myths fuel distorted comparisons • Homework: two 6-second kisses and one 20-second hug daily to boost bonding chemistry • Add 10–20 minutes of cuddling; touch prevents “roommate mode” • Non-sexual affection as glue; even robotic rituals build bonding chemistry • Skin-to-skin like newborn bonding; daily 20 minutes of touch and conversation • Sit together without phones; acknowledge awkwardness; talk authentically • Reminder: people often ask strangers more questions than spouses • Phones as top relationship killer • Promotion of Colette Fehr’s upcoming book The Cost of Quiet (Feb 3 release) expanding on TEDx talk Secrets of a Couple’s Therapist • Plan to revisit homework and connection progress in next episode • Wrap-up of first “Love Thy Neighbor” and preview of future topics ### **Social Media:** [Website](https://tomanddan.com/) | [Twitter](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) | [Facebook](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) | [Instagram](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive) **Where to Find the Show:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/) **The Tom & Dan Radio Show on Real Radio 104.1:** [Apple Podcasts](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) | [Google Podcasts](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) | [TuneIn](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/) **Exclusive Content:** [Join BDM](https://tomanddan.com/registration) **Merch:** [Shop Tom & Dan](https://tomanddan.myshopify.com/)
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LTN Show - Intro
Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom’s 20-year marriage, Dan’s 15-year marriage, and Colette’s second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.
Love Thy Neighbor is a straight-talk relationship show from Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and licensed therapist Colette J. Fehr - born the day Colette knocked on their door and they realized they were literal next-door neighbors. Together, they bring 50 years of broadcasting (Dan 30, Tom 20) and 15 years of clinical counseling (Colette), plus real-life reps: Tom’s 20-year marriage, Dan’s 15-year marriage, and Colette’s second, thriving chapter. Expect humor, empathy, and practical advice from both sides of the wall. New episodes every Thursday, wherever you get your podcasts.
USA