Latter Day Struggles

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In this episode I respond to your requests to explore President Dallin Oaks' desire that LDS girls get married younger.  As a bonus, I propose a counter-solution to. the current LDS mixed-faith marriage crisis that does not involve pressuring younger marriage (and its well-documented risk factors) on LDS young adults.  
Please share this episode if it resonates!  

Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction and Overview
00:18 Valerie's Analysis of Early Marriage
02:00 President Oaks' Comments and Valerie's Response
09:10 Exploring the Motivations Behind Encouraging Early Marriage
13:50 Risks and Drawbacks of Early Marriage
25:04 Correlation Between Temple Marriage and Divorce Rates
28:40 Concerns of Church Leadership
31:34 The Marriage Crisis in the Church
32:22 Challenges of Mixed Faith Marriages
33:30 Theological Strain and Parenting in Mixed Faith Marriages
34:44 Historical Context and Faith Crises
36:42 The Push for Early Marriage
39:24 Differentiation of Self and Its Importance
45:06 The Impact of Early Marriage on Development
57:43 Proposing a New Approach to Faith Journeys
01:01:15 Final Thoughts and Call to Action
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With well over a million downloads since its first drop in March of 2022, the Latter Day Struggles podcast has established itself the place to find peace, healing, community, and words to describe your Latter-day Saint faith and trust crisis.  
It is where thousands have come to realize that deep within themselves is a True Self capable of mapping out their own spiritual journey and integrating their Latter-day Saint background into this journey on their own terms.  
In this "Best of Latter Day Struggles" episode, Valerie establishes herself as a Latter-day Saint mental health professional with a unique capacity to love her LDS faith enough talk about the beliefs and practices that are causing harm to members of the church worldwide.    
The bottom line?   Healthy spiritual wellbeing is correlated with healthy mental health.  If my church beliefs and practices are making me sick in any way--these beliefs need to be courageously examined.    
To those of you who have been on this journey since Valerie started the podcast (the "OGs") and to those who just learned about it last week and do not know where to start--pleasea enjoy this classic episode that got Latter Day Struggles on the map and has led to the healing of thousands of people in LDS faith crisis in the past 3 years. 

Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction and Overview
02:06 – Four Stages of Faith Development
04:28 – Moving Beyond Stage 1
08:06 – Limitations of Stage 2
12:02 – Moving Toward Stage 4
14:43 – Contextualizing Faith Traditions
15:28 – Stages in World Religions
16:01 – Institutional Roles in Faith Development
16:32 – Supporting Complexity and Skepticism
18:00 – Therapist’s Perspective
19:02 – Healthy Family Systems and Faith Development
20:48 – The Role of Adolescence
22:01 – Ownership of Belief
24:43 – The Dangers of Over-Resistance
26:37 – Richard Rohr's Perspective on Faith Development
28:34 – Transitioning to Complexity
31:49 – Hope Beyond Skepticism
34:07 – Institutional Challenges
36:58 – Misconceptions About Atonement
38:44 – Institutional Self-Reflection
40:09 – Marginalization and Fear-Based Narratives
43:00 – Letters from Listeners: Shock and Isolation
46:59 – Ambivalence and Hope in Skepticism
50:03 – Understanding Faith Development Stages
53:45 – Creating True Community
56:00 – Transitioning Through Chaos
57:30 – The Emptiness Stage
59:00 – Achieving True Community
01:01:00 – Maintaining True Community
01:03:00 – Conclusion and Call to Action
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Series title: Mormon Faith Crisis—Progression, Not Pathology [Part III of III]

In this episode Valerie welcomes back friend and researcher Jeff Strong for the third installment of their series exploring Jeff's research learning about the actual experiences of thousands of Latter-day Saints.  The theme that came through?  Massive amounts of TENSION.  
Today they go deeper into six distinct kinds of Latter-day Saints and highlight that one type, "the protector" is disproportionately rewarded while other types are often silenced and squeezed to the margins and sometimes out of the church altogether.  
They unpack how an ignorance of the true diversity of 21st Century LDS membership is causing crippling harm to families and the church itself and emphasize the power that could come if we all understood and supported one another as a truly open and welcoming 'body of Christ'.  

Timestamps:
01:04 – Understanding Cultural Differences
01:57 – Stages of Faith and Identity Segments
03:38 – Framework for Understanding Differences
08:00 – Setting Up the Segment Discussion
09:36 – Overview of the Six Segments
14:30 – Personal Examples of Segment Fluidity
16:19 – Avoiders and Their Journey
18:30 – The Spectrum of Development
21:15 – Disaffiliation and Its Complexities
22:50 – The Public Narrative vs. Reality
24:43 – Conformity and Control in Religious Communities
26:33 – Fear vs. Love Orientation
28:13 – Focus on Protectors
33:40 – The Need for Balance and Integration
35:02 – Balancing Different Attributes in Church Culture
39:30 – The Dangers of Fear-Driven Leadership
41:40 – The Role of Fear and Love in Leadership
44:00 – The Impact of Historical Persecution
50:00 – Everyday Conflicts and Growth Opportunities
53:14 – Final Thoughts on Growth and Development
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As we begin 2026 and the fourth year of the Latter Day Struggles Podcast, we wanted to say THANK YOU to ALL supporters of the podcast and platform! 
So please enjoy this Office Hours recording and a podcast episode that is one that is a must-listen! 
In this timely conversation Valerie tackles Elder Anderson's recent general conference talk on abortion. In one hour she goes from the macro issue of abortion itself and offers some thought-provoking concepts about NOT focusing on abortion and instead focusing on how abortion is the prevailing solution to unwanted pregnancy only because we live in a patriarchal society. 
She also proposes that LDS women have valid reasons to feel unique and acute transgenerational pain connected to marriage, s*exual misconduct, power, and self sacrifice.
Timestamps:
00:00 – Listener Appreciation and Office Hours Format
02:17 – Elder Anderson’s Address on Abortion
05:01 – Developmental Stages and Vulnerability
07:00 – Weaponization of Authority and Internalized Harm
12:56 – Masculine vs. Feminine Worldviews on Abortion
15:00 – Societal Support and Resource Gaps
17:00 – Upstream vs. Downstream Solutions
21:00 – Deeply Embedded Patriarchal Assumptions
25:00 – Legal and Economic Disparities
29:54 – Critique of Elder Anderson’s Address
34:00 – Theological Shadows and Generational Trauma
36:00 – Recommendations for Healthy Spirituality
45:20 – Listener Reactions and Broader Church Issues
50:00 – The Importance of Individual Discernment
53:00 – Reflections on Church History and Patriarchy
56:00 – Calls for Healing and Inclusion
59:05 – Final Thoughts and Encouragement
59:54 – Closing Remarks and Call to Action
60:14 – Podcast Network Acknowledgment
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Friday Episodes Annual Access $89
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Series title: Mormon Faith Crisis—Progression, Not Pathology [Part II of III]

In today's episode Valerie and guest researcher Jeff Strong explore why people in the same LDS congregation can experience church so differently, depending on where they are in their faith journey. They introduce Jeff’s model of six faith mindsets—seekers, cultivators, protectors, avoiders, connectors, and explorers—each representing valid and meaningful ways of engaging faith. 
The problem? That many of these healthy and normal ways of engaging with one's faith journey are pathologized within the LDS culture at both local and general levels. Valerie and Jeff hope that research like Jeff's and platforms like Latter Day Struggles will place growth where it actually belongs--as normal, natural, and precisely what each of us are here on this earth to do. 

Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction and Welcome
00:22 – Series Overview and Jeff's Background
01:18 – Exploring Church Demographics and Tensions
02:45 – Review of Previous Episode
04:00 – Cultural Causes of Tension
05:30 – The Weight of Disaffiliation
07:00 – Research Methodology and Data Collection
07:58 – Strengths of LDS Culture
09:45 – Personal Reflections on Community
11:35 – Weaknesses of LDS Culture
13:20 – The Soil Metaphor for Culture
15:00 – The River Metaphor: Rigidity vs. Chaos
17:10 – The Impact of Cultural Rigidity
18:45 – The Struggle for Belonging
20:09 – Stages of Faith Development
22:00 – Simplicity and Complexity Explained
23:45 – Perplexity and Harmony Explained
25:30 – Faith Journeys and Community Reactions
27:00 – The Pain of Being Misunderstood
28:22 – Personal Faith Journeys
29:47 – The Garden of Eden Metaphor
30:47 – Pathologizing Growth in Faith
32:00 – The Need for Community Support
33:09 – Community and Belonging
33:52 – Brian McLaren's Model in Scriptures
35:30 – The Arc of Human Spiritual Growth
37:25 – Understanding Different Faith Mindsets
39:00 – Disparities in Perceptions of Christ-Centeredness
40:30 – The Loneliness of Nonconformity
42:04 – Introducing the Six Segments
44:00 – Descriptions of Each Segment
46:00 – The Dynamic Nature of Faith Mindsets
47:00 – Encouragement for Self-Reflection
48:24 – Conclusion and Next Steps
Support the show
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Friday Episodes Annual Access $89
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