Latter Day Struggles

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Lately there has been a lot of talk about the LDS disaffiliation crisis in the 21st century. Here at Latter Day Struggles we support open dialogue about what happening in our LDS homes and congregations.  
Please enjoy this special "audiobook" addition of a Latter Day Struggles series unpacking some groundbreaking research done by therapist Liz Macdonald exploring common LDS family dynamics shared by young adults whose disaffiliation experiences were the most challenging.  
We care about people all across the spectrum of faith in and around the LDS church.  Taking research like this seriously could profoundly reshape our community in healthy ways. 
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome
03:54 Meet Liz and The Study
11:48 Method and Study Limits
22:03 Four Key Findings Overview
28:00 Disconnected From Self
52:20 Fear-Based Theology and Parenting
01:02:38 Conditional Love and Worthiness
01:12:42 False Self and Hidden Struggles
01:22:32 One-Way Communication and Fear
01:31:17 Blaming Outside Influences
01:40:20 New Episode Research Overview
01:57:49 Purity Culture and Shame
02:08:05 Adult Development and Compassion
02:20:19 Fear of Selfhood
02:30:25 High Demand Religion
02:44:22 Research Recap
02:52:12 Eight Stages Walkthrough
03:04:59 Parents Threatened by Growth
03:19:13 Fundamentalism and Safety
03:27:20 From Identity to Intimacy
03:34:37 Recommendations and Repair
03:41:27 Closing and Resources
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In this episode Val digs into the concept of prophet worship [or any time humans hand over their discerning power to a formal authority figure] from the context of psychology and the “shadow”. 
While we tend to talk about our “shadows” from the context of that which we are ashamed of, sometimes we actually disown our greatest divine attributes. 
Tune in to this episode to learn why this happens and how to reintegrate our “golden shadows” back into our core identities.  This conversation is an extension of Episode 447, so go back and listen if this intrigues you!
Does the idea of awakening your core identity or "True Self" resonate with you ? If so, jump onto a waitlist to join Valerie’s next healing group that focuses on the awakening of one’s True Self core identity. 
This group is titled “Fundamentals of LDS Faith Crisis Healing” and the next group of this type begins spring of 2027!
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Setup 
03:09 Traditional Shadow Basics 
07:58 Golden Shadow Defined 
09:27 Projection and Triggers 
12:36 Golden Shadow Projection Example
17:07 How Outsourcing Happens
20:08 Official Carrier and the Cost of Imperfection 
25:37 When Following the Prophet Doesn't Work 
29:36 Reclaiming Discernment 
32:22 Practicing and Giving Yourself Grace 
35:52 Integration Not Overcorrecting 
39:15 Closing Thoughts
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In this episode Valerie tackles a seemingly contradictory pair of claims: 
The LDS church is experiencing record-breaking growth! 
The LDS church is experiencing record-breaking defection! 
Is one narrative simply not true? 
Interestingly, the answer is no, both narratives are true. Join Val as she unpacks these seemingly contradictory claims & breaks down how these claims reflect specific kinds of data collection.  She also explores how these narratives are tracking two different demographics of people in different stages of faith and consciousness development.
Valerie’s hope in episodes like this is to shine a light on normative human growth & development in the context of faith and to illustrate how the churches that do not understand or believe in stages of faith development only serve populations in [important but] earlier stages of growth & pathologize those in later stages, causing ever increasing levels of family fractures and institutional defection. 
PS: to read more & see the data, pick up a copy of download the book Torn: Why People We Love are Leaving the Church and What We Can Learn from Them by Jeff Strong, linked HERE.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Series Setup
02:45 Two Conflicting Narratives
04:16 Record Baptisms Data
06:17 Disaffiliation Statistics
12:01 Both And Explanation
14:03 Three LDS Demographics
14:21 Active Core Strengths
17:58 Disaffiliated Core Growth
22:30 Never Fully Affiliated
26:11 Stages of Faith Framework
29:26 Attachment Stage Church Fit
31:02 Differentiation and Homelessness
41:44 Integration and Compassion
44:20 Closing Reflections
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Series Title: Torn: Why People We Love are Leaving the Church & What We Can Learn from Them [Part III of III]
In this final episode of this beautiful series featuring guest author Jeff Strong & his bestselling book Torn: Why People We Love are Leaving the Church & What We Can Learn from Them, Val & Jeff cover four "culture imbalances" that thousands of disaffiliated LDS offered as reasons they could not grow in the context of the LDS church. Listen in to hear some sobering & important data that offers a more accurate narrative surrounding the current LDS dissafiliation crisis.
As painful a this information might be for devout LDS loved ones, this information is vitally important. Can those who loved the church and want what is best for their faith- expanding families listen to their feedback and create safe harbor for those on unexpected faith journeys? 
The only way our LDS homes and wards can become this kind of community is to listen, learn, and trust the words and experiences of those who often only leave because they feel that thriving spiritually is not possible if they stay.
Jeff's book Torn linked HERE
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
02:45 Why These Talks Matter
05:00 Unexpected Family Reversals
13:14 Why Culture Is Key
20:25 Imbalance One Who Belongs
28:53 Balancing Standards With Love
35:13 Transactional Faith Pitfalls
44:54 Map Not The Sea
50:57 Agency Versus Compliance
54:28 Trusting Individual Conscience
01:00:23 Pressure To Conform
01:03:15 Ubuntu And Closing Takeaways
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Series Title: Torn: Why People We Love are Leaving the Church & What We Can Learn from Them [Part II of III]
In this fascinating episode, guest author Jeff Strong & Valerie tackle several key points that Jeff courageously and gently addresses in his bestselling book Torn: Why People We Love are Leaving the Church & What We can Learn from Them.
Today, Jeff & Val lay out several culture issues that are pressuring the need for churches to adapt-not because people are becoming less and less "spiritual"...but because evolution is an upward spiral and human beings entering new stages of faith development have different needs. If these needs are not acknowledged; or if they are vilified, shamed, or pathologized- they will go away. We are seeing this at record rates in the LDS church. 
Listen in as Jeff and Valerie clarify not only why so many lifelong multi-generational Latter Day Saints are leaving--but also share how spiritual growth/ differientiation & community belonging need not be mutually exclusive.
Jeff's book Torn linked HERE
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Book Setup
01:38 Recap and Survey Numbers
03:13 Seeing and Humility
10:12 Culture as Soil Metaphor
15:44 Acceptance and Faith Stages
25:19 Fear to Hope and Growth
29:18 Four Storms Shaping Belief
37:19 Culture Change and Margins
45:44 Diversity and Balanced Energy
51:05 Next Episode Preview and Closing
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Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES
Friday Episodes Annual Access $89
Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10
Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups
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Download Free Resources
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