Latter Day Struggles

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In this episode Valerie welcomes Dr. Brad Reedy, colleague, author, and fellow psychotherapist working primarily with an LDS audience in Salt Lake City, Utah.  Brad has spent decades helping LDS families find peace and connection when life gets complicated and the LDS belief system and practices no longer can hold a family together and sometimes threaten to tear them apart. 
Val and Brad focus on the family composed of a queer child (including an adult child) and devout parents.  How does a family handle this situation in a way that restores self love to a wounded child while honoring the fears and loyalties of the parents?  Learn more about this and so much more in this beautiful bridge-building episode.  
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro
05:34 Therapy vs Religious Certainty
08:28 Three Parent Populations
11:29 Staying in the Room
17:03 Trojan Horse and Patience
20:47 No Agenda in Therapy
26:33 Healing Before Complexity
30:44 Safety and Longing
34:12 Shame and the False Self
37:45 Queer Youth Survival
44:04 Whole Not Good
50:26 Turning Wholeness Into Shoulds
51:09 Closing Thanks and Resources

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In this not-to-be-missed episode, Val interviews Michael McLean (of The Forgotten Carols and Mr. Kruger's Christmas) and his delightful son Jeff about a book they just co-wrote recounting their journey to unconditional love for self and one another in a religious tradition that still struggles to embrace the reality that the worth of EVERY soul (not just the married heterosexual soul!) is infinitely good, lovable, & 'enough'.  
This conversation is candid, raw, and maybe as 'real' as anything that you've heard on Latter Day Struggles and it is the essence of why we do what we do here.  We share conversations like Jeff's and Michael's to remind us that miracles of healing are possible as humans awaken to the real message of Jesus Christ:  That love knows no limits.  
In the next episode Val interviews therapist and colleague Brad Reedy, who contributes to Jeff and Michael's book.  Don't miss these profound and touching episodes!  
DON'T HIT STOP after the interview this week y'all! Please enjoy a beautiful original song written by Jeff McLean for his therapists and helpers along the way during his journey that led to the writing of Stay in the Room.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Guests
05:00 Jeff on Identity and Culture
10:18 Michael on Painful Truths
16:21 Jeff on Shame and Hiding
20:16 Host Therapy Framework
27:28 Michael Valley of Shadow
32:18 Temple Recommend Turning Point
40:33 Host Reframes the Journey
45:39 A Living Room Breakthrough
49:41 Houston Hotel Confrontation
55:12 Love Loud Safe Harbors
59:08 Writing The Book As Recovery
01:10:54 Die Before You Die
01:21:05 Hope For Unapologized Hurt
01:27:41 McClain Foundation Plans
01:29:15 Closing Gratitude + Original Song

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In this episode, Val is joined by Greg Prince, and their focus begins with Hugh B Brown’s legacy of gutsy leadership & expands to an exploration of the broader implications of the LDS Church's aging leaders (due to their succession-by-seniority-policy multiplied by advancements in medicine in the past several decades). 
Does modern science about increasing life expectancy & therefore increased dementia risk in elderly leaders call for a conversation about how LDS leadership is chosen? Listen in to hear what Greg & Valerie have to say about this. 

Want to listen to this whole series? Jump back to episode 185.
Timestamps:
00:00 Episode Setup
00:48 Welcome Greg Prince
00:59 McKay Era Recap
03:26 Meet Hugh B Brown
07:03 Brown Versus Benson
10:26 Uchtdorf Comparison
12:17 McKay First Presidency Picks
16:58 Succession And Dementia Data
25:07 Fixing Succession Rules
29:58 Power Shift To Twelve
33:34 Youth Exodus And Relevance
36:35 New Contract For Members
40:39 Closing And Resources
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The news is getting out.  Patriarchy harms everyone in its clutches. The women and children of course. But men too. Actually, it hurts them a lot. The more we have words for how this hurts us, the more we can advocate for change but also embody change in how we see ourselves, treat one another and live our lives.  
If you are just realizing that much of your faith crisis is connected to the massive impact that patriarchy has had on you and you're ready to confront this and heal from the impacts of patriarchal programming, you're invited to join Valerie's upcoming Healing from Patriarchy support and processing group that begins in October 2026.  This is where women find their voices and men find their vulnerability. Seating is limited. Please join us for a life changing experience and a wonderful community of friends on the same journey.
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Redrop Preview
09:08 Series Part Six Setup
16:48 True Self False Self Framework
21:07 How LDS Homes Teach Roles
28:58 Creativity and Becoming Self
37:03 Healing Men Through Love
42:40 Invite to Mixed Gender Group
49:28 What Is Spiritual Agency
56:03 Virtue Script Pressure
01:04:12 Reclaiming Identity
01:10:32 Becoming A Reformer
01:16:46 Choosing Amid Expectations
01:25:00 Raising Agentic Kids
01:30:50 Where To Find Valerie
01:31:47 Favorites And Farewell
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In this special Office Hours recording, a couple dozen people joined Valerie to talk about the emotional experience that only the former devout Mormon will understand.  Why does this weekend bring up so much?  
Listen to Val & four of the guests that attended this Office Hours recording as they talk about grief, loneliness, fear, and confusion.  They hit topics that likely hit home with you too:  about parenting and mixed faith marriage emotions...loss of simplicity, feeling left out of the celebratory mood, and other emotions typical of this weekend that many of us used to find connecting and meaningful in times gone by.
Timestamps:
00:00 Tribute Episode Re Drop
01:45 Queerphobia Paradigms Preview
03:30 Why Share This Now
05:38 Office Hours Pop Up Intro
07:15 Conference Weekend Complexity
09:28 Loneliness In Faith Shift
13:37 Compassion And New Community
18:43 Grief Over Conference Changes
26:05 Existential Grief And Integration
31:57 Fear And Emotional Overload
35:18 Fear Of Disconnection
37:01 Differentiation In Mormon Families
37:55 Bookshelf Metaphor
39:07 Practice Compassionate Curiosity
41:49 Parenting In Mixed Faith
44:55 Collaborate With Your Partner
52:09 Create Conference Safe Space
54:09 Discernment Over Zeal
58:47 Closing Reflections
59:49 New Healing Group Format
01:01:46 Final Thanks And Goodbye
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Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES
Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10
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