Help Me Be Me

• Ep 254: Being Seated in Self: Setting Boundaries Confidently

  If you’re struggling with trying to keep a handle on your own beliefs in the face of a person with a strong ego, as in a romantic relationship or parental relationship where they talk you out of your feelings or tell you that you’re wrong, this is for you! A lot of people struggle to self-validate. You might defer to another person’s opinion or have a person in your life who talks you out of your beliefs, even if you feel strongly about them the moment you have them. When we are feeling insecure and second guessing ourselves, we are looking for grounding. In the spin – as I call it. We cannot discern the truth – it is illusive to us. We keep thinking “I feel this way! Am I wrong?” What we need to recognize in that moment of that feeling is that we need to back up from the issue and get a wider perspective. The issue is co-created by us and another person and the solution is a longer but accessible one.  This episode is about creating a dose of perspective with context and tools. Often what this comes down to is we are struggling to believe our feelings and trust ourselves and often the other person is controlling us. That might be sinister or it might be totally innocent and invisible to that person. For example, it could be a person who doesn’t want you to leave them. Or it could be a parent who can’t see you any other way than a child. The reason this becomes toxic and unhealthy is when it prevents you from growth. If you have a light inside you that wants to grow, to stand on your own two feet and be the boss of yourself – then this is for you. Sponsors: Chewy: chewy.com/podhelpmebeme to save $20 on your first order with free shipping  BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month of therapy  Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Wayfair: Wayfair.com    BOOK recos for this episode: Intimate Partners https://amzn.to/4kCyBQU Dance of Anger https://amzn.to/3Iqob9T Courage to Change https://amzn.to/44La6en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Ep 253: Happiness Growth: Stopping the Loop of Dissatisfaction

  This is about expanding your consciousness using moments of emptiness and dissatisfaction as a starting point. I will invite you to widen your capacity and open your energy to a higher level by “using the material” that is the dissatisfaction.  Lots of tools in this one. If you feel like you’ve been living loops of stagnation and have been unable to see what is blocking your happiness – like “I am doing all the right things, why do I feel empty?” Feeling that something is missing, that we need something to fix us or fill the void…Or being spiritually starved by your environment…Or the intimate relationships never pan out or become what we had hoped. A lot of this comes into play when we are following a bunk map – we set a goal that is a 2D snapshot and think “I just need this and then I am done!” But happiness is about growing in three dimensions, inwardly. So where to go from here?  Lean into your humanity and set the goal to go deeper. We need our humanity and connection to others on an authentic level. We need to utilize our truth and creativity and feel a worthiness in our experiences. It comes from our sense of spirituality: a sense of trust and faith in the universe. We need our own version of “God” whatever that might be, and if you don’t have that, you can grow it by taking small steps. The books I mentioned (True and False Magic) https://amzn.to/4luF8Ot And Notes to George: https://amzn.to/4kgc3Fo Support this week’s sponsors: BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month Headspace: Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days. Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Wayfair: Wayfair.com  Mint Mobile: mintmobile.com/helpmebeme - get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Ep 252: Breakup Loss: The Mirror of Completeness

  If you’ve been unable to let go of a relationship or a part of you feels tethered to it, it could be in part the longing for the feeling of completeness. Breakups are also losses of routine and a feeling that we are not alone in the world. A lot of the loss is that concept of our life, not the person we are partnered with and who they are in reality. One thing we can move through as we process a breakup is the loss of that ideal: what we wanted the relationship to be, wished it would become, visualized it would be in the future. Separate from that we can respect the real reasons the relationship ended: who the other person was and why it was not sustainable. That’s what this episode is about: negotiating the two sides to a loss of a partner: the loss of the idea – the mirror we saw of ourselves. And then the loss of the other person. I think in the mourning/healing process we get confused about which feelings are coming from where, which can make closure difficult. You might have had a really bad relationship but some part of you felt reliant on it – this can be confusing in the wake of moving on. Regardless if you’re suffering I recommend therapy for this stage of healing. Sending love!! Here is the book I mentioned that I am reading: https://amzn.to/4kNQj4P Support this week’s sponsors:   BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month Headspace: Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days. Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Wayfair: Wayfair.com  Mint Mobile: mintmobile.com/helpmebeme - get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Ep 251: A Midlife Reckoning - Reassessing Happiness

  There comes a time when we take stock of our lives and ask whether or not it’s still working for us. That might be our self-definition, our career, our relationship, or all of the above. You might arrive at this by accident, as in a health issue that forces the wake up, or you might simply recognize the feeling and ask, “Why am I so numb and unfulfilled?” This is an episode to help you look at whatever value system you have gotten lost within so you can set better boundaries around it. Often times we get seduced by external definitions of a path and we pour ourselves into it, never stopping to question whether or not it’s really rewarding for us. Other times we just grow out of it and we need to stop and reassess if a change is needed. Sending love!   Sponsors: Chewy: chewy.com/podhelpmebeme to save $20 on your first order and get free shipping.  Mint Mobile: mintmobile.com/helpmebeme - get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit Wayfair: Wayfair.com  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Ep 250: Boundarying Conflicting Relationships

  This is for complicated relationships with complicated boundaries, for example when you are stuck in a relationship you dislike, or you are dating but have gone through a life shift, so you fear choosing the wrong person. The reason I chose this topic is often when we are not fully activating our boundaries around the concepts of what we want and what rewards us, we allow a situation or another person to decide our future, for us. So something external will push us into a long-term situation that we never actively wanted or designed. When we are not fully solved as individuals, we may not know why we are not happy, what is not sitting right, and whether or not that’s “valid” for us to feel what we feel. In other words – there is a vagueness to our own feelings and we question ourselves, which keeps us more stuck in a situation. We may be emotionally ambivalent or have opposite feelings in a relationship, like dating when you are a single parent: any new relationship might bring up opposing priorities that need to be defined for a first time.  Although the situations I discuss are very different, walking into them with awareness of how you feel and simply giving yourself an opportunity to process feelings can be incredibly helpful and enlightening. Heads up there are TONS of journaling prompts in this one! Support our sponsors: Gabb: gabb.com/helpmebme - for the best deals sign up today, no contract required.  BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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