Healing Toxic Shame: The Real Reason You Feel Not Enough
No matter how much you achieve, there’s a quiet voice saying you’re not enough. In this episode, Lavinia and Andrew unpack the hidden roots of toxic shame, what it is, how it forms in childhood, and practical steps to begin healing today.You’ll learn how toxic shame forms in childhood through criticism, emotional neglect, or the belief that love must be earned, and how it turns into patterns of self-judgment, people-pleasing, or burnout. This episode gives you practical tools to start healing toxic shame, reconnecting with your inner child, and building genuine self-compassion so you can finally feel enough, as you are.00:00 – Intro: What Is Toxic Shame and Why It’s So Hard to Spot01:20 – How Shame Becomes Part of Your Identity02:45 – Childhood Roots: Where Shame Really Comes From10:45 – The Two Faces of Shame: Anger vs Self-Destruction13:40 – People Pleasing and Activism as Shame in Disguise16:40 – How to Heal: From Shame to Self-Compassion22:20 – How Subtle Shaming Shows Up in Parenting👉 For more support, connect with us on Instagram @becoming_untriggered_podcast– Resources: Lavinia’s Making Peace with Your Past signature holistic healing programme: https://www.laviniabrown.com/making-peace-with-your-pastAndrew’s 1-1 RESET Coaching Programme: https://www.andrewlynn.net/coachingBook a Deep Dive Relationship Recovery Session: https://calendly.com/d/ck3y-gzt-kbc/3hr-deep-dive-relationship-recovery-session– 📱 Connect with Lavinia: https://www.laviniabrown.com https://www.instagram.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.facebook.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.youtube.com/@the.innerchild.healing.expert📱 Connect with Andrew: https://www.andrewlynn.nethttps://www.tiktok.com/@modern_day_healer
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27:43
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27:43
Are You Dealing with a Narcissist? Spot the Signs & Protect Yourself
Are you dealing with a narcissist? In this episode, we break down the key traits of narcissism, explain the difference between selfishness and narcissism, and answer whether children can truly be labeled as narcissists.Discover how to recognize narcissistic behavior without second-guessing yourself, heal the wounds of having a narcissistic parent or partner, set strong boundaries and stop draining cycles, and build secure attachment and reclaim your self-love.01:00 – Narcissistic Traits05:25 – Manipulation, Illness & Gaslighting Explained15:30 – Can You Become a Narcissist?20:00 – Why You Attract Narcissists22:15 – Can Children Be Narcissists?25:30 – How to Deal with a Narcissist Parent or Partner30:00 – Protect Your Inner ChildWhether you’ve asked “Is my partner a narcissist?” or worried “Am I a narcissist myself?”, this episode gives clarity and tools to finally stop the cycle.👉 For more support, connect with us on Instagram @becoming_untriggered_podcast– Resources: Lavinia’s Making Peace with Your Past signature holistic healing programme: https://www.laviniabrown.com/making-peace-with-your-pastAndrew’s 1-1 RESET Coaching Programme: https://www.andrewlynn.net/coachingBook a Deep Dive Relationship Recovery Session: https://calendly.com/d/ck3y-gzt-kbc/3hr-deep-dive-relationship-recovery-session– 📱 Connect with Lavinia: https://www.laviniabrown.com https://www.instagram.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.facebook.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.youtube.com/@the.innerchild.healing.expert📱 Connect with Andrew: https://www.andrewlynn.nethttps://www.instagram.com/andrew.g.lynnhttps://www.tiktok.com/@modern_day_healer https://www.youtube.com/@traumainformed
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34:12
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34:12
How Repressed Emotions Cause Violence in Relationships (Generational Trauma)
What causes violence in relationships? In this episode, we explore the connection between repressed childhood emotions, generational trauma, and violence in relationships.We’ll unpack how repressed anger from childhood shows up as rage in adult relationships, the difference between your own stuck emotions vs. “carried emotions” from parents, why trauma bonds make it so hard to leave unhealthy dynamics, and how to help your children express anger safely without passing on your own trauma.00:00 – Violence and Anger in Relationships02:00 – Repressed Anger From Childhood04:00 – Repressed Emotion and Carried Emotion12:00 – Trauma Bonds in Relationships18:20 – Inner Child Work22:00 – Helping Kids Express Emotions SafelyWhether you’re struggling with your own anger, in a relationship with someone who is violent, or simply want to break free from generational patterns, we give you practical tools to heal.👉 For more support, connect with us on Instagram @becoming_untriggered_podcast– Resources: Lavinia’s Making Peace with Your Past signature holistic healing programme: https://www.laviniabrown.com/making-peace-with-your-pastAndrew’s 1-1 RESET Coaching Programme: https://www.andrewlynn.net/coachingBook a Deep Dive Relationship Recovery Session: https://calendly.com/d/ck3y-gzt-kbc/3hr-deep-dive-relationship-recovery-session– 📱 Connect with Lavinia: https://www.laviniabrown.com https://www.instagram.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.facebook.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.youtube.com/@the.innerchild.healing.expert📱 Connect with Andrew: https://www.andrewlynn.nethttps://www.instagram.com/andrew.g.lynnhttps://www.tiktok.com/@modern_day_healer https://www.youtube.com/@traumainformed
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25:57
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25:57
Coping with Sibling Estrangement | Healing, Boundaries & Growth
Have you and your siblings grown apart? Do you wonder how you can repair that relationship without losing yourself? This episode unpacks the emotional complexity of sibling estrangement, including how unresolved childhood dynamics, parental favoritism, and generational trauma can shape fractured family bonds.You'll learn practical strategies to help you process anger, grief, and confusion without needing your sibling to be “on the same page”. We talk about reconciliation, holding boundaries, and seeking emotional peace.01:30 - Why Siblings Grow Apart03:20 - Childhood Perception and Parental Favoritism05:10 - Why Siblings Have Different Childhoods07:00 - Generational Trauma & Family Roles11:00 - How Inner Work Triggers Family Conflict16:00 - Sibling Jealousy and Injustice21:00 - Why Estranged Siblings Often Misplace Anger26:00 - Boundaries as a Tool for Emotional SafetyThis episode is for anyone navigating the pain of sibling fallout, whether you’ve been cut off, ghosted, or just feel emotionally distant.👉 For more support, connect with us on Instagram @becoming_untriggered_podcast– Resources: Lavinia’s Making Peace with Your Past signature holistic healing programme: https://www.laviniabrown.com/making-peace-with-your-pastAndrew’s 1-1 RESET Coaching Programme: https://www.andrewlynn.net/coachingBook a Deep Dive Relationship Recovery Session: https://calendly.com/d/ck3y-gzt-kbc/3hr-deep-dive-relationship-recovery-session– 📱 Connect with Lavinia: https://www.laviniabrown.com https://www.instagram.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.facebook.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.youtube.com/@the.innerchild.healing.expert📱 Connect with Andrew: https://www.andrewlynn.nethttps://www.instagram.com/andrew.g.lynnhttps://www.tiktok.com/@modern_day_healer https://www.youtube.com/@traumainformed
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29:06
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29:06
Why is It So Hard to Meditate? How to Start When It Feels Impossible
You sit down to meditate, and instead of peace, you feel panic. Your mind races, your body buzzes, and every part of you wants to get up and do something else. If that’s you, you’re not failing at meditation—you’re likely trying to use it before your nervous system is ready. If you've ever thought “I can’t meditate,” this episode is exactly where you should start.In this episode, we talk about why meditation often feels impossible. We unpack the real reasons you can’t “just sit still”, from trauma response and nervous system dysregulation to inner child wounds and coping mechanisms that once kept you safe. You’ll learn how to start gently, how to use sensory tools to anchor when you’re overwhelmed, and how to stop comparing your practice to someone else’s highlight reel.Whether you’ve tried to meditate and given up, or you’re curious why it triggers you instead of calming you. You will learn how to build safety in your body first… so meditation can finally work for you, not against you.– Resources: Lavinia’s Making Peace with Your Past signature holistic healing programme: https://www.laviniabrown.com/making-peace-with-your-pastAndrew’s 1-1 RESET Coaching Programme: https://www.andrewlynn.net/coachingBook a Deep Dive Relationship Recovery Session: https://calendly.com/d/ck3y-gzt-kbc/3hr-deep-dive-relationship-recovery-session– 📱 Connect with Lavinia: https://www.laviniabrown.com https://www.instagram.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.facebook.com/the.innerchild.healing.expert https://www.youtube.com/@the.innerchild.healing.expert📱 Connect with Andrew: https://www.andrewlynn.nethttps://www.instagram.com/andrew.g.lynnhttps://www.tiktok.com/@modern_day_healer https://www.youtube.com/@traumainformed
Tired of reacting instead of responding with your partner or kids? Becoming Untriggered is the podcast for parents and partners ready to break generational trauma, heal their past, and build conscious relationships. Every month, we share practical tools, honest conversations, and strategies to help you become the calm, connected, and conscious version of yourself.
Hosted by trauma-informed coaches Andrew Lynn and Lavinia Brown, who bring over 17 years of lived experience and decades supporting both moms and dads, this show explores how childhood wounds show up in adult life.
USA