What If Nothing’s Wrong With You?

Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays discuss why “shoulds” make life miserable—especially amid renewed horror and validation that many systems are corrupt—and argue for resigning from them. Lisa shares a skiing misadventure with her son David that highlights ignoring intuition, safety concerns, and the parenting programming that says kids must finish what they start; they emphasize teaching children to trust their bodies and quit when needed. Paula explains, drawing on Byron Katie and Eckhart Tolle, that every “should” is a story arguing with reality and blocks joy, intuition, and love. Lisa critiques therapy “rules” that privilege endless processing, outsource agency, and fixate on “why,” and they connect shoulds to privilege, revolutionary refusal, and being stingy with apologies unless real harm occurred.
00:00 Welcome and Theme
00:23 Why We’re Done With Shoulds
01:32 Ski Trip Gone Wrong
03:54 Let Kids Quit and Trust Vibes
10:18 Movie Pick Women’s Rage
12:32 Resigning From Shoulds
13:40 Shoulds Argue Reality
19:39 Therapy Rules as Shoulds
24:42 Who Benefits From Shoulds
28:24 Choose to Walk Away
28:55 Soup Salad Detour
30:29 Privilege and Shoulds
33:51 Revolutionary No
36:58 Stop Apologizing
40:36 Turning 50 Permission
46:24 What Do You Want
48:19 Quotes on Shoulds
50:30 Nothing Wrong With You
52:43 Final Sign Off

Binary (Black-and-White) Thinking: Why We Do It, How It Controls Us, and How to Get Free
Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays, discuss binary (black-and-white) thinking and how it shows up in culture, education, media, and clients’ decision-making. Lisa shares reflections from Jane Goodall’s “famous last words” interview, emphasizing that there is no single “right” way to live and that the task is to be yourself. They define ambivalence (having mixed feelings) and cognitive dissonance (stress from holding conflicting beliefs or actions) and connect binary thinking to control, authoritarianism, and white supremacy culture’s “only one right way.” They explore how constant judging fuels anxiety, rumination, and defensiveness, why accepting being “the asshole sometimes” reduces manipulation, and how improv’s “yes, and” rewires rigid thinking toward nuance, paradox, and liberation.

What If Nothing's Wrong With You?
Mental Health In Chaos (Ep. 32)
(Episode recorded September 2025)
Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K. Kays discuss the core question “What if nothing is wrong with you?” in the context of todays societal chaos and fascism, especially in Washington, DC, where ICE activity and arrests are creating fear, restriction, and powerlessness. They note many clients “relapsing” into coping behaviors like food restriction, increased drinking, bingeing, and shopping, framing these as attempts to regain control or soothe, and warn that shame and self-ranking reinforce the very dynamics of white supremacy and fascism. They argue there are often no good options, encourage choosing with agency rather than conforming or rebelling, and emphasize “permission” over perfection, empathy without suffering Olympics, and supportive relationships.
00:00 Welcome and Big Question
00:58 Thunderbolts Movie Takeaways
04:34 Pop Culture and Fascism Jokes
05:26 Unicorn Girl Scam Podcast
10:28 Societal Chaos and Relapse
12:33 Life in DC Right Now
18:00 Control Soothing and Shame
21:11 Suffering Olympics and Empathy
22:39 Resisting In Groups
23:33 Empathy Without Centering
24:40 No Win Dilemma
27:09 Permission Over Perfection
28:50 Activism Without Burnout
30:03 Middle Path Agency
33:45 No Good Options
36:38 Drop The Virtue Tests
39:38 Shame Helps Fascists
41:24 Closing And Reviews

Exploring Relationship Dynamics and the Allure of Heated Rivalry | What If Nothing's Wrong With You Podcast In this episode of 'What If Nothing's Wrong With You?' hosts Paula D Atkinson and Lisa K Kays, along with their friend Nnaemeka, dive into the societal conditioning around romantic relationships, discussing the concept of relationship propaganda. They focus on the importance of positive role models such as the show 'Heated Rivalry' and its departure from traditional relationship dynamics dominated by power struggles. The hosts also touch on the universal appeal of male tenderness, the concept of 'corrective emotional experiences' through art, and their views on the fluidity of sexuality. Join them for an enlightening and humorous conversation that questions societal norms and offers new perspectives on human relationships.
00:00 Introduction and Greetings
00:35 Relationship Propaganda and Heated Rivalry
02:19 Chitchat and Quitting Things
06:02 The Power of Music and Art
07:12 Rosalia's Album and Movie Recommendations
12:12 Relationship Propaganda and Heated Rivalry Revisited
28:05 The X-Files and Patriarchal Comedy
28:42 Obsession and Starvation Analogy
30:04 Male Tenderness and Cultural Deprivation
32:25 Therapeutic Insights and Corrective Experiences
38:50 Challenging Straightness and Sexual Categories
42:04 Heated Rivalry and Cultural Impact
44:17 Final Thoughts and Recommendations

Exploring Loneliness: Understanding Its Roots and Finding Connection In this episode of 'What, if Nothing is Wrong with You,' hosts Paula D. Atkinson and Lisa K Kays, delve into the topic of loneliness. They address the male loneliness epidemic, discuss individual experiences with loneliness, and explore the societal and personal factors that contribute to this issue. The conversation touches on the importance of community, the pitfalls of modern parenting, and the impact of late-stage capitalism and white supremacy on social connection. They also recommend some books, share personal anecdotes, and offer insights into combating loneliness by building relationships with others and with oneself. 
00:00 Welcome and Introductions 
00:20 Discussing Loneliness 
01:01 Book Recommendations 
08:02 Therapy Horror Stories 
15:11 Loneliness Epidemic 
29:15 The Impact of Screens on Children's Social Lives 
29:55 Parental Fears and Overprotection 
31:55 The Loneliness Epidemic Among Adults 
32:22 The Pressure on Parents to Orchestrate Social Interactions 
36:42 The Myth of the Perfect Friend Group 
37:38 Contradictions in Social Expectations for Married Women 
41:53 The Importance of Building Social Skills in Children 
42:20 The Role of Community in Non-White Cultures 
51:10 The Need for Vulnerability in Friendships 
53:47 The Value of Imperfect Relationships 
57:47 Final Thoughts on Loneliness and Social Connections