Allyship in Action

Scott Curran is a social impact lawyer, advisor, and educator who spent ten years in the All-Star game of global philanthropy at the Clinton Foundation .
When I sit back and look at the wacky headlines and persistent headwinds in our world right now, it can be really easy to throw up our hands .
But Scott brings us right back to the science: human beings are naturally wired for good, and our brain chemistry practically throws a party of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins whenever we do something kind or even just watch someone else do it !
Scott candidly shares how a middle-of-the-night couch conversation with his wife turned into a mission to give away a decade's worth of hard-earned tools to help leaders scale their impact . Purpose isn't just a fluffy concept. Purpose drives profits, sparks employee joy, and connects us to our shared humanity .
Key Themes & Highlights
Humans Are Science-Backed and Wired for Good. Human beings are fundamentally built for reciprocity and community care . Despite negative news cycles, basic brain chemistry releases feel-good neurochemicals whenever we give, receive, or observe acts of kindness .

"No headline, no headwind, no culture warrior accusation can change the human reality that we are wired for good, and that it feels good when we do it, and even when we just see it." 
Starting a Purposeful Entity Requires Borrowing Success. Launching a nonprofit doesn't require reinventing the wheel because all organizations follow a predetermined regulatory lifecycle . Before starting a new entity, change-makers should first consider plugging their energy into an existing organization .

"There's approximately just under 2 million nonprofits in the United States running the gamut of all non-profit work. And the great news is they're all special, but not that unique."
The BOPP Framework Drives Organizational Success. Sustainable, purposeful organizations rely on a balance of four core elements: a diverse, independent Board; lean Operations; clear Programs; and impactful Partnerships .

"If you want the quick approach to a great organization, I'm gonna give you four things to focus on. It's BOPP."
Everyday Corporate Good Builds Community Connection. Organizations don't need to overcomplicate social impact; simple initiatives like corporate service days or employee donation match programs create immense shared value .

"Start where you are, focus on the causes that hit most close to home... Being aware and being intentional are the only two things I hope people take away." 
Actionable Takeaway
Ask your employer if they offer an employee donation matching program to double your impact for free—and if they don't have one yet, invite your leadership team to start one !
Follow Scott at https://www.scottmcurran.com/

Positive psychology researcher and author Michelle Gielan joins us to dive into two qualities I think about a lot: optimism and resilience.
Early in my career, I used to think being optimistic meant slapping a smile on my face, grabbing a venti iced coffee, and pretending everything was fine, even when a project was burning down around me. (Spoiler alert: it doesn't work!)
Real optimism isn't about ignoring the mess. As Michelle reminded me, it's about taking a realistic assessment of the present while holding onto the belief that our actions matter. We laughed about closet optimists, shared a few messy real-world stories, and unpacked how these mindsets work hand-in-hand to transform our workplaces.
Here are the key themes from our conversation:
Optimism vs. Resilience: Traditional optimism is the general expectation of good outcomes, whereas resilient optimism is grounded in deliberate behaviors that keep us hopeful when our plans face real-world testing.
"Optimism is basically an expectation of good things to happen and resilient optimism is optimism that stays strong when it's tested."

Why Optimism and Resilience Matter at Work: Cultivating a resilient, optimistic mindset directly boosts performance, keeps teams engaged, and significantly lowers the risk of burnout across organizations.
"People who are in that top quartile are three times more likely to be highly engaged at their jobs and five times less likely to burn out."

How to Instill Optimism at Work: Rather than fighting ingrained pessimism head-on, leaders can shift workplace culture by encouraging closet optimists to speak up and framing challenges around actionable solutions.
"If we can even get them to speak up ever so slightly, now we're shifting the culture. We want to talk about the challenges we've been able to overcome and why that has worked."

Actionable Takeaway
Start your next meeting with a quick possibility prompt rather than a list of problems. Ask your team to share one thing that went well this week or one solution-oriented step they can take on a current challenge to help prime their brains for constructive action.
Follow Michelle at https://michellegielan.com/resilient-optimism/

Finding balance in leadership and in life often feels like trying to do a high-wire act while juggling toddlers and a full-time career.
That is why I was thrilled to catch up with Jess Ekstrom, founder of Mic Drop Workshop and author of Making It Without Losing It.
Jess is a powerful storyteller who has built two million dollar businesses. She brings this incredible blend of real-world hustle and laugh-out-loud relatable humor.
We got into what happens when we stop chasing everyone else's definition of success and start listening to what actually fuels us.
Between tales of toddlers running yoga classes with a three-year-old and life on the road in an RV, Jess dropped some serious wisdom on how we can show up as better leaders, speakers, and advocates without burning ourselves out.
Key Themes
Lighthouse vs. Spotlight Speaking. True impact happens when you shift your focus away from self-perception and toward serving the audience.
"Spotlight speakers go up on stage and they're concerned with perception, but a lighthouse speaker shifts the light from themselves to their audience or their listener. They're not concerned with perception, they're concerned with guidance."

Driven by Intrinsic Motivation. Relying on external validation creates a fragile foundation for success, whereas focusing on internal purpose breeds resilience.
"If we're always looking for external validation. We can't control that, versus intrinsically, we can only control what's happening inside of us and what motivates us."

Managing Life's Four Cups. Time and energy are finite, so managing priorities requires recognizing that not every area of life can be completely full at once.
"You have four cups: it's your relationships, your work, your health, your creativity. And then you have one jug of water every day. Every cup is not going to be at its brim. Some are going to have to suffer. And it's also temporary, and it's seasonal and shifts throughout life."

Testing New Life Iterations. Growth doesn't require dismantling your entire life all at once. Growth can start with giving yourself permission to try new things in small doses.
"Try something on. If there is a way that you can try on a new life, a new hobby, a new idea without blowing up your life in flames that can be very doable."

Actionable Takeaway
Test an ambition for 10 minutes a day. Instead of feeling pressured to make a dramatic, high-risk leap, give yourself a two-week trial period where you dedicate just 10 minutes daily to exploring that new goal or identity without any permanent commitments.
Follow Jess at https://jessekstrom.com/

Have you ever tried dangling a carrot to get a desired behavior out of someone—whether it's offering points to your kids for clearing the dishwasher or dangling a bonus in front of your sales team—only to feel like you've created a transactional nightmare?
You're definitely not alone! In this episode of Allyship in Action, I sat down with education scientist and author Dr. Özgür Bolat to unpack why our obsession with extrinsic rewards so often backfires.
Drawing from his insightful book, The Reward Trap, Özgür helps us realize that while carrots might get temporary compliance, they secretly erode intrinsic motivation, trust, and genuine ownership.
We had a candid, funny, and deeply relatable conversation about breaking free from the points system mindset at home and work, shifting our focus from control to true connection.
Key Themes & Highlights
Compliance vs. True Ownership: Extrinsic motivators like bonuses or points might get a task done, but they fail to foster genuine engagement or long-term commitment.
"Rewards work if you want compliance. But if you want real ownership, real intrinsic motivation, real engagement and commitment, it may not work."

The Hidden Costs on Trust and Fairness: Over-relying on rewards often triggers feelings of unfairness among peers and erodes trust between managers and employees or parents and children.
"When there's a competition, when there's a winner, always there are some people who complain. As your manager, I start to think: Julie had the capacity... but she only did the bare minimum. Why? Then I will lose trust in you."

How Rewards Narrow Creativity and Learning: Extrinsic incentives focus attention strictly on the immediate payout, leading people to take the easiest path rather than exploring creative solutions or deep learning.
"When you offer a reward, you narrow that focus. If you offer a reward for creative work, you know what will happen? You will treat it as a mechanical work. Rewards can increase quantity, but not the quality."

Shift from Control to Connection: True motivation comes from understanding underlying barriers, fostering agency, and creating shared values rather than imposing transactional rules.
"In punishment and rewarding, you only care about one thing: outcome and consequences. You care about controlling. Beyond rewards, we move from control to connection."

Actionable Takeaway. Instead of reaching for a reward or a penalty the next time someone struggles with engagement, pause and move from control to connection: ask open-ended questions to uncover the root cause of the hesitation, validate their experience, and collaboratively design a solution that builds internal ownership.
Follow Ozgur at https://www.ozgurbolat.com.tr/

This week, I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with the incredible Alex Partridge—founder of UNILAD and Lad Bible, host of the ADHD Chatter podcast, and author of Why Does Everybody Hate Me?.
We dove deep into a topic that so many managers want to get right, but often feel totally lost navigating: supporting neurodiversity in the workplace, specifically when it comes to ADHD.
The first time I managed someone with ADHD, I felt lost. I wanted to be an ally and build an inclusive space, but I didn't know what real, everyday support looked like.
As Alex and I chatted, it hit me again how much untapped creativity, innovation, and resilience lies within our neurodivergent team members—if we actually build environments where they can thrive. When we take a step back, set aside our assumptions, and approach people with genuine curiosity, we don't just become better leaders, we create workplaces where everyone feels safe enough to drop the mask and bring their whole self to work.
Key Takeaways & Themes
Understanding Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). "Children with ADHD are exposed to 20,000 extra micro-rejections in their formative years. Over a child's life, they add up, they compound, and they create an adult who suffers from extreme emotional pain when someone criticizes you or rejects you as an adult."

Recognizing the Worksite Manifestations of RSD. "If you are living your life constantly expecting criticism or rejection around every single corner, you put up a guard to protect yourself. It means you can't do anything unless it's perfect. You'll stay in the office four hours later than everyone else, or you'll stay up all night simply to complete that work to such a high standard because the thought of your boss even making a tiny correction to it is so painful."

Building Psychological Safety from the Top Down."When people in the office observe vulnerability coming from the top, that trickles down to them, and it creates the impression that if they ask for help. It sends the message that they can make that ask without fear of it being met with any kind of eye roll."

The High Cost of Failing to Accommodate Neurodiversity."80% of neurodivergent employees actually leave a company within three months post-the hiring stage because they are too anxious in that environment to do the job that they're able to do."

Fostering Allyship Through Curiosity Rather Than Judgment. "Approach the whole conversation with curiosity rather than judgment. Always have an open mind and have that curiosity to ask yourself, 'Maybe that is the better way to do it?' When that mindset shifts, then suddenly there's a whole door of possibilities that open up to you."

Concluding Actionable Takeaway
Leading with Open-Ended Support: Instead of singling employees out by pointing to specific neurodivergent traits or diagnosing behaviors, leaders should proactively offer broad, company-wide avenues for help—and regularly ask a simple, open-ended question like, "Is there anything I can help you with?" or "Do you want five minutes to think about that assignment before taking it on?"
Follow Alex at https://www.alex-partridge.com/