Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

• 172. Learning to Trust Yourself Again After Trauma and Conditioning, For Teens & Parents, with Jake Wood

  What if the behaviors you see in your struggling teen aren’t just “problems,” but signs that the identity they were given no longer fits? What if their resistance, shut-down, or self-destructive choices are really the early stages of something Jake Wood knows all too well: the painful beginning of learning to trust yourself again after trauma, addiction, and conditioning?In today’s conversation, Jake returns to share the part of his story most parents never get to hear from their own child: what it feels like on the inside when the systems that shaped you ( family expectations, culture, religion, diagnostic labels, school, recovery programs) tell you who you’re supposed to be, while your true self is begging for air.Jake walks us through the years he spent trying to fit into a system that convinced him he was broken… until everything collapsed. Addiction, relapse, spiritual pressure, shame, and finally a life-threatening cancer diagnosis stripped him of every identity he’d ever carried. The belief system he built his whole life on fell apart and he had to rebuild from the inside out.For parents, this conversation is a window into what your child may be wrestling with beneath the behavior. The confusion. The shame. The feeling of being “the identified patient.” The pressure to be who the system says they should be. And the long, messy, necessary process of learning to trust themselves again after trauma and conditioning.Jake’s journey reminds us that breakdowns in our teens aren’t always signs of failure, but can also be signs of a self being born.If you’ve ever wondered why your child reacts the way they do, why consequences don’t “fix it,” or why their behavior seems to carry so much pain, this episode will help you see their struggle with new compassion… and perhaps see your own inner work more clearly, too.In this episode on learning to trust yourself again after trauma and conditioning, we discuss:How systems (family, school, religion, culture) shape identity, and shame;What it feels like to be the “identified patient” in a family;Why teens may crumble when they can’t meet expectations;How addiction, relapse, and shame cycles destroy self-trust;The symbolic collapse of identity through Jake’s cancer journey;Shadow work and parts work as tools for rebuilding inner authority;What unconditional love looks like when everything is falling apart;How breakdowns can become breakthroughs for both parent and child;And more!More about Jake WoodJake Wood is a certified Resilience and Transformation Coach who helps individuals navigate their Soul–System dynamics — the interplay between the stories they inherited and the soul’s original truth. His descent through addiction, depression, and cancer became the doorway through which his soul revealed what had been buried beneath the early system conditioning. Today, Jake walks alongside those who feel called to turn inward and discover what their own soul is revealing. He can be reached at [email protected].  Looking for support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected] can support the show by:

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• 171. Rethinking Labels, Teen Drug Addiction, Shame, and the Soul with Jake Wood

  Before your child has the chance to understand who they truly are, the world is already telling them what they are. Jake Wood knows this firsthand, and his story turns our whole conversation about teen drug addiction upside down.In one of the favorite interviews I’ve ever done, I sit down with transformation guide Jake Wood to explore a perspective on teen drug addiction that most parents never hear: one rooted not in pathology, shame, or “fixing,” but in soul, story, and deep humanity.“Shame has always been my monster” - Jake WoodJake shares his extraordinary journey from “System Jake,” shaped by rigid rules, labels, and misdiagnoses, to “Soul Jake,” the version of himself that emerged after surviving an aggressive cancer diagnosis, and a complete identity unraveling. His insight into labels like addict, bipolar, or behavioral problem will challenge the way you see your struggling teen, and maybe even yourself.You’ll hear how addiction often begins as a coping strategy, not a character flaw, why shame disconnects kids from their true selves, and how parents can shift from fear-based reactions to compassion, presence, and genuine connection.Have a listen to hear what Jake has to say about supporting your struggling teen or young adult without getting lost in labels!In this episode on teen drug addiction, we discuss:Why labels like “addict” can sometimes do more harm than good;How shame disconnects teens from themselves and others;Jake’s life-changing journey through addiction, recovery, and cancer;The difference between “System identity” and “Soul identity”;How Internal Family Systems (IFS) reframes addiction as a protective part;Why connection, not control, is the antidote to teen drug addiction;How parents can hold space for their teen’s pain without absorbing it;The generational patterns that shape kids long before behavior shows up;And much more.More About Jake WoodJake Wood is a certified Resilience and Transformation Coach who helps individuals navigate their Soul–System dynamics — the interplay between the stories they inherited and the soul’s original truth. His descent through addiction, depression, and cancer became the doorway through which his soul revealed what had been buried beneath the early system conditioning. Today, Jake walks alongside those who feel called to turn inward and discover what their own soul is revealing. He can be reached at [email protected].  Looking for support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected] can support the show by:Leaving a reviewSubscribing to the showAnd remember parents, the change begins with us.

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• 170. How to Stop Negotiating With Your Teen, Break the “Just This Once” Pattern & Hold Boundaries

  Does your teen always have one more promise, one more deal, or ‘just this once’ plea? You’re not imagining it. The moment you start negotiating with your teen, you’re pulled into a messy family dynamic that almost never works out the way you hope it will.In this episode, Seth and I talk about why these IOUs, bargains, and “I swear I’ll do it tomorrow” promises fall apart so quickly, and why they often leave you feeling resentful, confused, or taken advantage of. And more importantly, how can you stop negotiating with your teen and begin creating the kind of consistent boundaries that set them up for real responsibility, maturity, and independence?Together, we explore what’s actually happening in your teen’s brain when they make promises they likely won’t keep, why the “just this once” pattern spirals into entitlement and power struggles, and how you can step out of this cycle with your teen or young adult.In this episode on how to stop negotiating with your teen, we discuss:Why deals, IOUs, and promises rarely work, even when your teen means them;How “just this once” accidentally creates entitlement;The resentment parents often feel when negotiations fall apart;Why teens and young adults bargain for privileges and what’s happening developmentally;The difference between earning a privilege vs. negotiating for one;How to set clear expectations before a privilege is used;What to say when your teen forgets, avoids, or pushes back;Why things often get worse before they get better when you change the pattern;How consistent follow-through leads to accountability and maturity over time.Looking for support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected] can support the show by:Leaving a reviewSubscribing to the showAnd remember parents, the change begins with us.

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• 169. How to Express Emotions to Your Child in a Healthy Way with Therapist Dana VanRenterghem

  You want to be honest with your child… but when emotions run high, it can be hard to know where the line is between healthy emotional expression and unintentionally putting a burden on your young child, teen, or young-adult kid.If you’ve ever felt terrified, overwhelmed, or lost in the fear of “what if,” and weren’t sure whether to show your child how scared you really are…If you’ve ever wondered why expressing your emotions towards your child sometimes leads to more distance instead of more connection…Or if you’ve ever felt the urge to show your child just how upset, hurt, or worried you are, especially when their behavior frightens you, but aren’t sure whether that helps or harms…You are not alone, and this episode will bring clarity to something many parents quietly wrestle with.Today, I’m joined by therapist Dana VanRenterghem to talk honestly about how to express emotions to your child in a healthy, appropriate way. We explore why kids should never be responsible for managing a parent’s emotional world, how even well-intentioned honesty can become emotional dumping, and how easy it is to cross the line without realizing it.We get into the nuance: your emotions are real and valid… but they’re still your emotions. So how do you pause, regulate, and come back to your child from a grounded place instead of fear? We also talk about the caregiver–seeker roles in attachment, how role reversals happen, why they’re so confusing, and how to repair if you’ve shared too much in the past.In this episode on how to express emotions to your child, we discuss:Why sharing “big feelings” with your child can accidentally create shameThe difference between emotional honesty and emotional burdenWhat to say when you’re scared, angry, or overwhelmedHow to pause and regulate before returning to your childThe caregiver vs. seeker roles (and what happens when they get reversed)How to repair with your child when you’ve said too much or reacted too fastWhy your child is not responsible for your feelingsWhat emotional expression looks like in healthy parent–child communicationWhere parents should take their big feelings (hint: not to your child)Looking for support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected] can support the show by:Leaving a reviewSubscribing to the showAnd remember parents, the change begins with us.

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• 168. Your Teen Deserves a Fresh Start: How to Rebuild Trust After Treatment with Colin MacDonald

  So much work happens during treatment, but the real test begins when your child comes home. The patterns that once kept your family stuck can easily reappear unless you intentionally create space for something new. This week, we talk about how to allow a fresh start after treatment and rebuild trust in a way that supports lasting independence and connection.I’m joined again by Colin MacDonald, co-founder of Not Therapy Coaching and a former struggling teen himself. Colin now mentors young people in the transition from treatment back to real life, helping them find structure, accountability, and confidence. Together, we explore why fear-based parenting, like constantly checking your teen’s location or replaying old narratives, can unintentionally keep everyone trapped in the past, and how to shift toward calm, evidence-based trust instead.Colin shares what he’s learned from supporting more than 70 families through this critical transition, including why home contracts rarely last more than a week, how autonomy helps prevent deception, and the power of pairing increasing freedom with increasing responsibility. We also talk about why post-treatment anxiety often peaks for both teens and parents, and how setting short-term goals and realistic expectations can help your family stay grounded.You may still see your kid as the troubled teen they were before, but there’s no doubt that treatment has changed them. They deserve a fresh start, and so do you.In this episode on allowing a fresh start after treatment, we discuss:Why rebuilding trust means focusing on progress, not perfection;How to trade surveillance for structure and clear communication;The difference between enabling and empowering independence;What to do when your teen slips up or tests boundaries;How mentors and coaches can help your family rebuild trust and balance;And more!More about Colin MacDonaldColin is a "former troubled teen" who spent his last two years of high school in wilderness and therapeutic boarding school. Based on his experience, he co-founded Not Therapy to provide peer-to-peer coaching for teens and young adults who feel like therapy hasn’t been the right fit or who are transitioning out of therapeutic programs back into the real world. As a young person who has been in his clients’ shoes, Colin’s approach is rooted in personal expertise.Learn more about Not Therapy on their website or blog, or connect with them on LinkedIn.Looking for support?🗺️Need help setting healthy boundaries with your teen AND following through? My free guide will help you do so by creating your own Parent Home Plan!🤍Influence lasting change in yourself and your struggling teen with my private coaching or parent group program specifically created for parents of struggling teens.Have a question or need support? You can email me at [email protected] can support the show by:Leaving a review

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