I Hate Bill Maher

Man oh man, this guy freakin' sucks at his job!!! Writer/Podcaster/Organizer Jacob Dallas joins me this week to talk about Real Time season 24, episode 22. A limp but tighter than usual monologue is followed by a fake blue collar guy, a disgusting libertarian, and a journalist who Jacob is familiar enough with that he ends up being disappointed with her performance on here. Why's everybody always handling this freakish old pervert with kid gloves? It makes me nuts! Also, there's a classic New Rule bomb so bad he gets pissed at the audience.

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Hey, I really appreciate all the support on Patreon, HOWEVER if you want to support me (or really anybody) on there, don't use the God damned Apple app. I think they're bringing their weird massive fees back in because a court is letting? I don't know, just subscribe through a web browser. That's your best option anyway, because if you join through the app it doesn't automatically add you to the Discord. IT'S FUCKING INFURIATING.

Very early guest Emma Arnold OF THE HAWAII TRIP returns two years later to talk about modern day Maher. She had to spend time with him in 2017, she watched an episode of his show from 2003, and now she's watching another episode of his show from this very day. She also brings some helpful perspective as the mother of three large adult sons because one of the topics on the panel is men... why can't we as a culture help those poor guys out? Like, the loneliness epidemic: is it just for boys? Also, jokes that are technically better than usual but delivered with absolutely no confidence.

Please be aware that there's some echo on Emma's audio track because I'm a stupid piece of shit and literally went "I'm sure it's fine" and now it's making me nuts the entire edit. So, uh, I don't know... deal with it????? Also there's less editing on this episode than usual because I am absurdly behind on almost everything to do with the show.

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It's so crazy to put an exclamation mark at the end of "Bill Maher Talks to Kids" if that exclamation mark is not also followed by a question mark, another exclamation mark, and then a series of skull emojis.

Now, you may be looking at the title and thinking "Wait, didn't Will already talk about 'Talks too Kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!' back when it first came out? And you're correct, I did. But it was early in the podcast, I hadn't keyed in to just how much of this thing was weird and/or reprehensible, and I also was like "A guest. A guest should also experience this. So I had Boonta Vista co-host Lucy Valentine join me to talk about this, essentially her first encounter with Bill Maher ever, and I gotta say... I think she really enjoyed. OR PERHAPS THAT'S A LIE! Who's to say? Her, I guess. I'll be honest; my heart really isn't in writing this episode description at... 11:33pm. HOWEVER that makes it thematically appropriate because Bill Maher put in zero effort here, and ends up generating no conversation of substance over three different pairs of kids. I guess during the second one he briefly turns into Lou Dobbs, but other than that it's all "How old are you?" "What grade are you in?" "What do you want to be when you grow up?" and perhaps also... "For Hamas"!!!!!!!! This episode is genuinely almost entirely making fun of an old guy who thinks he's being really funny. If you've ever found yourself thinking "I like that podcast but I get upset hearing so much vile shit come out of that man's mouth" and you can stomach two incidents of transphobia, this is the one for you, baby.

I also think I mention Australia too much for the first half of the episode. I don't know why I did that, I think I was kind of nervous to record with someone I didn't know while I'm so physically exhausted (babies HATE to teethe). I probably didn't need to include this in the episode description. Also I was practically eating my mic so the sound is kind of distorted for my liking. I don't know, man, I'm really just ready to go to bed.

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00:00 - Intro/News/Survey
10:11 - 8 YO/16 YO - All bits
31:38 - 10 YO/10 YO - Let's get deep
50:36 - 13 YO/16 YO - Happy Medium(?)
1:03:37 - Exit
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Listen, right off the top, I gotta say that the audio edit is not up to snuff, in my opinion. I just didn't have tim1! There's so much going on! I had to leave in the kinds of um and uhs and interruptions and sputterings (all mine) that normally I would take out. But listen, thankfully I have a real pro at the "I Hate This One Specific Guy" podcast game: podcaster Dan Friesen. Now, when we were picking an episode to do, Dan was really excited to see Bill Maher get fucking wasted, but do you know what? He doesn't. He doesn't even really get high. AND I was looking forward to Patrick Bet-David being an absolute maniac, and we didn't really get any of that, either. In fact, I would say this episode of Club Random was a F-U-C-K-I-N-G D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R. ROCK BOTTOM chemistry, and yet I think Dan and I had quite a lot of fun with it, so FUCK YOU Bill Maher and Club Random; try to fuck up my podcast with your unbelievably bad Club Random episode. Eat shit. We made it work.

Also, we talk a lot about how insane PBD is, and sort of mention some of his more detestable beliefs, but straight up he's a really bad guy. I want to make sure that's on the record here.

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Call the show and leave a voicemail: (323) 545-6727‬ Include your pronouns or I'll just have to guess at that shit.
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Hey, sorry the episode is so late, the dang baby is doing sleep regression ah ha ha

Oh, you thought regular Real Time was so bad that there's no way there could be more? Well FUCK. YOU. Welcome to Overtime, perhaps television's most inessential extra TV show (the most essential? Extra.) That's right, during Real Time's hiatus I am pulling the Overtime coverage off of the Patreon and into the main feed, and joining me here is genuine expert on Real Time Overtime, Eoin Higgins. He knows stuff about it that I did not! That's... I mean, it's fucked. It's really insane to think that there are people who are like "Did you know this about Bill Maher?" and I of all people respond with "...no?" The specific episodes we watched were episodes 15, 16, 17, 18, and 20 from season 24. None of them were longer than thirteen minutes, and yet they all find at least one way to be deeply irritating.

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