Fragmented to Whole: Life Lessons from 12 Step Recovery

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In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking about why so many couples get stuck having the same arguments over and over, and how real listening isn’t about communication techniques, but about the assumptions we bring into the conversation before we ever open our mouths.
This episode explores how internal safety, meaning-making, and unmanaged expectations quietly fuel chronic conflict loops in long-term relationships.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
Why chronic conflict is usually about exhaustion and meaning, not poor communication skills
How collapsing disagreement into disrespect escalates fights and shuts down listening
The danger of assigning meaning to behavior before actually communicating
Why difference is not a boundary violation and does not need to be “fixed”
How internal safety allows you to tolerate difference without panic or control
If you find yourself stuck in chronic conflict loops, I want you to gently ask yourself a few questions.
Where am I assuming disrespect instead of difference?
What meaning am I assigning before I’ve actually communicated?
Am I trying to be understood, or am I trying to change who my partner is?
Listening doesn’t mean agreement. It doesn’t mean sameness. It means making room for difference without turning it into a problem that needs to be solved. When we stop trying to win and start trying to understand, connection becomes possible again.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes for practical tools, recovery insights, and real-life examples of what it means to live a more whole life.
Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and share your key takeaways.
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at
https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to see where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it:
https://higherpowercc.com/drain/

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In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m sharing a powerful realization from my own recovery journey: the pattern of emotionally unavailable partners wasn’t just about who I was choosing, it was about my own emotional availability.
For years, I believed I was unlucky in love. Through ACA recovery and a deep relationship inventory, I discovered how my nervous system, conditioning, and avoidance of emotions were shaping my relationships far more than I realized.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
Why attracting emotionally unavailable partners is often a sign of emotional unavailability within yourself.
How ACA Step Four and the concept of causes and conditions revealed my relationship patterns.
The role of emotional avoidance, numbing, and codependence in romantic dynamics.
How emotions like resentment are signals, not verdicts, and what they’re really telling you.
Why boundaries are about clarity and self-responsibility, not control.
If you want healthier, more secure relationships, the work doesn’t start with finding better partners. It starts with becoming emotionally available to yourself. Learning to feel, listen, speak honestly, and set boundaries is where real change happens.
Relationship inventory categories:
Person
What I expected
What I got
My dependent behavior
How relationship ended

Additional categories I tracked:
Who was I in love with?
Who was I in relationship wth where we both knew “we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?”
Which relationships included massive substance use?
Which relationships included infidelity with either of us?
Which ones were friends with benefits?
Who did I break up with and who broke up with me?
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes for practical tools, recovery insights, and real-life examples of what it means to live a more whole life.
Thank you for listening! If this episode resonated, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and share your biggest takeaway.
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at
https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to see where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it:
https://higherpowercc.com/drain/

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
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Work with Barb! 
Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

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In this week’s episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m exploring attachment from a different angle and sharing how boundaries and recovery can actually create secure attachment, even if you didn’t grow up with it.
Instead of focusing on attachment labels, we look at how internal safety, self-trust, and boundaries change the way we show up in romantic relationships.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
The difference between anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure attachment and how they often show up in adult relationships
How self-abandonment fuels insecure attachment patterns like chasing, distancing, and resentment
Why boundaries aren’t about pushing people away, but about staying connected to yourself
How boundary work creates internal safety and builds self-trust over time
Why secure attachment can be developed in adulthood through recovery and consistent boundary practice
Secure attachment isn’t something you either got in childhood or missed forever. When you stop abandoning yourself, you stop building abandonment into your relationships. Boundaries help you stay present, grounded, and connected to who you are, so relationships stop feeling like life or death and start feeling safe.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive practical tools for building emotional safety, healthier relationships, and a more whole life.
Thank you for listening. If this episode resonated, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me. And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and share your key takeaways.
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at
https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Feeling drained in your relationships? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to see where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it.
Start here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
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Work with Barb! 
Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

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In this week’s episode 332 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m discussing something I often observe, especially during family gatherings: knowing your boundaries, understanding your patterns, and gaining valuable insight, yet still getting triggered. In this episode, I explain why that happens, why it’s not a failure, and what actually helps when your body reacts faster than your thinking brain.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
Why your nervous system responds before your intellect, and why “knowing better” isn’t enough in the moment
The difference between insight and regulation, and why affirmations and reasoning often fail when you’re activated
Why you don’t train your nervous system during an emergency — you train for emergencies
The four common nervous system states (freeze, rage, fawn, and flight) and what actually helps each one
Simple, body-based practices that build internal safety and shorten recovery time when old patterns get activated
You’re not weak. You’re not broken. You’re human.
This work isn’t about never getting triggered — it’s about helping your body learn that now is different from then. When you train your nervous system ahead of time, you create more choice, more capacity, and a faster return to yourself when things get hard.
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it. Start your quiz here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:
Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
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Work with Barb! 
Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session

Send us a text
In this week's episode 331 of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I’m talking about the invisible, unspoken rules you absorbed growing up — the ones you never agreed to, yet have been shaping your entire emotional life. I break down how these hidden rules get installed in childhood, how they operate in adulthood, and how recovery gives you the clarity and safety to finally rewrite them.
Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:
The unspoken “family rules” you learned through tone, punishment, silence, chaos, and inconsistency
How perfectionism, control, all-or-nothing thinking, and the inner critic develop in dysfunctional homes
The ways these old rules still dictate your choices, boundaries, and emotional reactions
What happens when you finally recognize that these rules were never yours to begin with
How recovery helps you create new internal rules rooted in truth, safety, and self-compassion

You don’t have to keep living by rules that were created in a dysfunctional system.
 You get to unlearn perfectionism, control, fear, and judgment.
And you get to replace them with patterns that support freedom, safety, and emotional wholeness.
You don’t have to stay stuck in the old survival strategies. The moment you start seeing the rules clearly, you can choose new ones — rooted in truth, boundaries, and compassion for yourself. Are you ready to rewrite the rules you grew up with?
Be sure to tune in to all the episodes to receive tons of practical tips on living a more whole life and to hear even more about the points outlined above.
Thank you for listening! If you enjoyed this episode, take a screenshot of the episode to post in your stories and tag me! And don’t forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and tell me your key takeaways!
Learn more about Fragmented to Whole at https://higherpowercc.com/podcast/
Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to find out where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it. Start your quiz here: https://higherpowercc.com/drain/

CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:

Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletter
Linkedin
Work with Barb! 
Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session