Unbelief

In this Drinks and Deconstruction episode, I’m joined by River Polsgrove, a fiction writer and human trafficking survivor, for a conversation that somehow includes Catholic chanting, the “drink the blood” confusion of childhood, and why church people love turning shame into a personality. We talk dissociative amnesia, purity culture’s greatest hits (yes, the donut object lesson makes an appearance), and what it looks like to rebuild a spiritual life when the church was part of the harm. AND how River uses their fiction for the kind of healing and revenge therapy can’t always provide. Content warning up front for trafficking.

River's Books: https://amzn.to/4tTGQy7

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If prayer has ever felt like a spiritual performance review, this episode is for you. Jeremy talks with Wes Ellis, author of Abide in Amen, about why prayer gets weaponized into guilt, why “spiritual discipline” often turns into self-blame, and how the church trained a lot of us to treat God like a cosmic vending machine. Wes offers a different frame: prayer as God moving toward you, not you climbing toward God. Less control, less shame, more resonance.
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Chris Young grew up Roman Catholic, got rushed through the sacraments because doctors didn’t think he’d live long, and still managed to be a skeptic by age six. This episode is a funny, tender, unexpectedly deep conversation about disability, Catholic guilt, “real presence” logic puzzles, and the moment he realized he couldn’t say the creed honestly anymore. Then something surprising happened. A community made room for his doubts, told him to focus on what he could believe, and that cracked open a way back without pretending.
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