Two Librans

• 15. Bonkers in Phoenix

  Just in time for spooky szn, one of the more disturbing Fall songs from an album with a kind of holiday skull. More importantly, we finally fulfill the astrological premise of our podcast, and talk for an unreasonable amount of time about a certain Bushwick bar, centered around the stars and their signs. We go in deep, reading google reviews and missions statements, and, as usual, end up in the doghouse, discussing whether it’s cool or not to ruin your ex-wife’s songs. We also talk about “straight bars” where we feel safe, Roman’s amorous escapades, rejection vouchers, and many other things. Listen till the end for a bonus interview with the man Mark E.Smith and the woman Brix Smith themselves.ALSO DISCUSSEDThis fucking styleGet Your Birthday Song from Hermeto PascoalThe Less “Doctored” Earlier VersionWhat do you think, listener, is it better? We think it is, and Mark was a bit of a knob to dismantle this song further for no good reason.Normal Men Weigh In on Brix’s Contributions Aaaawesome Book for Real Dudes of the ManosphereThe ClassicalThe Other Great Kr*utr*ck Album ArtPS.Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman is halfway through his long depressing book, and in the next chapter the umbrella story from this episode might reappear in a slightly altered form.Roman’s 15 minutes on Substack from back when Ghibli AI was relevant. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

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• 14. Lie Dream of a Casino Soul

  Are you feeling parched? Well, it’s time for another Two Librans episode, so open your cake holes and we’ll douse you from our content firehose! Before we start to discuss The Fall, which is ostensibly the subject of this podcast, we start the episode with a new, short-lived and deeply problematic segment dubbed “The Dog House” (a.k.a. “the Meat is Back”) in which we wanted to go over the latest breakups in comics scene, for all the single minglers out there. We cut almost all of it, out of respect for our colleagues.MEIN DYKHOFFOnce we get that out of our systems, we get to the real subject of today’s episode, a discussion of the classic track Lie Dream of a Casino Soul.Adorned with classic Savage Pencil art, this non-album single slaps in every possible way, from the pling-plong keyboards to the lyrics, which are discussed to no end and no point on The Annotated Fall.There’s a lot of bickering in the comments there until, on the seventy-ninth comment, someone posts the lyrics, written by Marc E. Smith himself, scanned for a Omega Auction of his estate:So there you have it, he doesn’t say “So I think I’ll cut my dick off”, he says “I think I’ll cut my Dykhoff”, which makes zero sense.NEW FACTS EMERGEOh, but does he? When putting together these notes months after the recordings, we came across another Omega auction with the lyrics to the song, with hand-written additions by Marc. So this will remain a mystery until we use AI to resurrect Marc so we can ask him ourselves. Get on it, Zuckenberg!ALSO DISCUSSEDThe great Savage Pencil (who is still alive)SavX’s badass artwork for Big Black’s (middling) Headache EP… which replaced the original, truly reprehensible packaging conceived by the original edgelord, Steve Albini (do not look this up).They’re just pumpkins.It’s just a cheeseburger (squint).Okay, Gooner.How do you celebrate 3/11?Chechnya in Cars 2Marc Bell invented The Minions, period.Jeffrey Lewis’s terrific Legend of the FallPS.Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman has become public domain, apparently.Also, his new book is up for preorder! Don’t miss his sombre side with this one.And whoa! Tom finished his portfolio, fucking finally! Mostly professional animation work but also has some of his drawings and prints. And he’s working on a new comic, he swears!http://tvd.designHe’s also going to start his blog again, he swears!https://substack.com/@tomvandeusen This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

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• 13. Zoot Suit Riot

  Hey everyone! The Two Libs are back with an important new episode. We’re doing the difficult but necessary work to cool the hateful political rhetoric poisoning our country right now, so we can all see each other’s inherent human good and right to free discussion.Specifically, we’re talking about the legacy of the Cherry Poppin’ Daddies! You know, that swing revival band with a name that straddles between stupid and abhorrent? Roman indulges Tom in a full 30 minutes of “Daddycast”, and lo and behold, they’re both more problematic than you remember and impossibly worse now. So strap in for that! What was our podcast about again?SOCCER SCORESThat’s right! It’s about soccer (football, for the limeys) and the week’s scores! Specifically from 20 years ago, and specifically read by the lead singer of The Fall, one Mark E. Smith. He performs a very straight-faced reading of a bunch of football results with scores like “Nil-Nil”. When he’s finished he insults the host’s looks. Not to be missed, especially if you believe the comments, since this video has everyone in hysterics for some reason.Also, Roman tells a long, confusing sex “joke” which he later says is “more of a story”. He eventually drew it into a four panel comic which you can read right here.ALSO DISCUSSEDTom Morello wankery (per usual) The Actual Zoot Suit RiotsThe worst anything, everThe biggest dichotomy between an album’s music and its coverToilet paper loreAlso features Roman’s manly new song “Once I was Just a Young Man, Now I’m a Slightly Older Man.” PS.Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman has been making relatable comics for your co-workers.And here’s Tom’s Substack he’s sorely neglected because he’s been working on career stuff. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

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• 12. Theme From Sparta F.C.

  Hello and welcome back to Two Librans, a podcast hosted by the “least empathetic cartoonists of the last 20 years”. Today marks our 12th episode, and to celebrate wee-’re introducing an exciting new segment which you won’t want to piss miss! So grab a big beverage, hold it down with your #1 favorite podcast!A GUITAR LINE WITH A “GREEK MOTIF”Roman’s pick this week is Theme From Sparta F.C., a banger track from “The Real New Fall L.P. Formerly ‘Country on the Click’”, which is a surprisingly good album despite the horrendous title. Roman, the commensurate jock of the show, insisted we not only cover a song related to his favorite sport of “footie”. Get your fuckin’ bitch-ass ready for a testosterone-fueled bro down! WOOF WOOF!!ALSO DISCUSSEDMark E. Smith reads the weeks’ football results and it’s HILARIOUS!!!Fred Durst Breaks Stuff for 9/11Our favorite Nelly tracksBono doesn’t just suck at musicThis band had this name in 1998 and that was considered okay. Oh wait, they’re still a band and haven’t changed their names.Prince Vincent GalloThe back cover of Roman’s next bookNow on YouTube too!Attn: Gen Z! It’s time to revisit the classic eps with YouTube video content. You won’t see us, but you can probably have a great time vegging out to the trippy video loops.PS.Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Roman has put out two new Terrible Father adventures, on sleep and smell.Tom’s busy working on a comic and redoing his website, but you can catch up on his Substack, which will eventually cover his agony getting back into comics This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

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• 11. Service

  Patti Smith's N-word pass, Kramer apology remix, poly book club, oh and a song by the Fall.Hello and welcome back to our eleventh episode of the Two Librans. You’re in for a special treat, because this is our first in-person episode.Recorded at Lincoln Center or some other place in New York, so please forgive the occasional cheers from our adoring fans, as well as Roman mumbling, and Tom talking much louder with his large American mouth.This time we’re talking about Service, a melancholy number from the Infotainment Scan, which is one of Roman’s favorites, and one so impactful to Tom that he can’t remember if he’s heard or not. Roman recommends the Peel session version, which you’ll hear excerpted in the episode.ALSO DISCUSSEDPatti Smith says a choice word on record, repeatedlyThis takes up probably half of the episode, and good god, it goes places.Poly book club updateYes, big news for the locals—Roman finally enacted some real societal change in a city he no longer inhabits. We also discuss the literary value of the Ethical Slut.Jerry Seinfeld on what’s “NOT FUNNY.”AlsoTom questions Roman’s self-described victimhood, and a more successful cartoonist than us says (privately) that Roman draws like a woman (we should reiterate at this point that this is absolutely fine, and we have nothing but respect and admiration for that cartoonist, and Roman does draw like a woman).Lastly, we finally connect Pizza Gate and Pizza Island. They could’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those pesky meddling .PS.Don’t forget to follow our personal stacks. Tom hasn’t updated his in a while so who gives a shit. Roman has rebooted fan-favorite Terrible Father……and made some Resident Evil 4 fan-art. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit twolibrans.substack.com

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