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The Grumpy Strategists

Strategic Analysis Australia
The Grumpy Strategists
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79 episodes

  • The Grumpy Strategists

    Australia's Collins subs life extension scandal: 10 years of failure covered up until the Auditors came - & the UK's 1st Sea Lord takes truth serum

    05/26/2026 | 1h 9 mins.
    Marcus and Michael go through the scandalous revelations about 10 years of failed planning on extending the operational life of the only submarines Australia has - the 6 Collins class - while AUKUS subs slowly appear. Disturbingly, the most senior Defence leadership - including the Secretary and the Chief of Navy (just promoted to be the chief of the entire military) were advised numerous times of insurmountable technical and engineering issues with the planned life extension. The main motors and diesel generators took up more room and would require a major redesign of the entire submarine, and the result would be a sub that had to "snort" for longer and so be more vulnerable. The whole project collapsed under the weight of its flaws because an external Audit got the story out.
    But for years, the leadership failed to advise Government ministers. A report by a former US Defense official belled the cat in 2024 to ministers, but neither ministers nor the Defence senior leadership revealed the scandals to the public or the Parliament. Instead they kept spending $100s of millions on failure. The result is Australia's only submarines are now in aged care, limping along until the AUKUS cavalry turns up. Meanwhile, the leadership has had promotions all round.
    This is an insight into how AUKUS is being managed by our Defence leaders and ministers.
    The episode ends with a dose of truth from the UK's First Sea Lord that the Royal Navy's pursuit of ever bigger, ever more expensive platforms is a mistake - as the huge Dreadnought subs, the Type 26 and SSN-AUKUS projects sail on eating the UK military's future.
  • The Grumpy Strategists

    Oz Budgets: the Unhappy meet the Disappointed. Big Defence numbers get small. & the cage fight in Beijing

    05/18/2026 | 54 mins.
    Michael and Marcus argue furiously over the merits and messages in the Albanese Govt budget versus Opposition leader Angus Taylor's response. Only one of them is right....Then Marcus burrows deep into Parliament House to find a phone to talk numbers with the Defence Chief Finance Officer. Result: a $14 billion cash bump for Defence spending over the next 4 years turns into a $1.2 billion reduction, like magic. Michael recovers from the shock of being kicked off Air Force One on its way to Beijing to listen in as a returning Donald Trump finds two buses to throw Taiwan under in his quest for a growing market for American beans. The episode ends with a trot through global demographics and the disturbing raw numbers on naval shipbuilding out of China and America. One nation is building a big new blue water fleet. The other is holding its breath saying it wants to. Premium Economy back to the SAA bunker can't land fast enough in this unravelling world.
  • The Grumpy Strategists

    Zen and the Art of Defence investment: big numbers for everyone - Episode 70

    05/01/2026 | 57 mins.
    A Zen temple helps Marcus seek balance between the contradictions in Australia's defence Strategy, while Michael struggles with a noisy kettle in the bunker. Australia's new Defence Secretary takes over the much smaller empire left by her predecessor - and brings skills to help Minister Pat Conroy produce new numbers around new 'announceables' at will.
    Secretary Quinn has arrived in the nick of time, right as Mr Conroy's alchemy of announceables post-strategy launch seeks to sell US Defence Prime Northrop Grumman building rocket motors in Australia by 2033 as an example of the urgent creation of sovereign Aussie sovereign industry.
    It's beautiful to watch Marcus apply his new mindfulness tools in a doomed but noble attempt to set out the maths behind the big new spending claims of the Australian Government in recent weeks.
    The episode covers the growing distortion of Australia's military towards things on the water over things in the air and land - despite Australia being a country surrounded by both water and air....and it finishes up with US sub numbers and the breath of fresh air injected into Australia's defence debate by Senator Paterson, daring to notice things like delays in big programmes, and thinking beyond the usual beat ups.
  • The Grumpy Strategists

    The Grumpy Strategists cover Australia's new defence plan: a strategy of denial that the world has changed

    04/17/2026 | 1h
    The Grumpy Strategists respond to Australia's defence minister, Richard Marles, discussing and releasing the 'new' 2026 Defence Strategy and investment plan. Marcus sees the spirit of Hiroo Onoda, second last Japanese Imperial Army soldier to surrender after World War Two - 29 years after the war ended in March 1974 alive in Mr Marles today.
    Like Hiroo, Mr Marles carries the flame of a world that has ended. In Hiroo Onoda's case it was faith in the Emperor and Imperial Japan's impending victory. In Mr Marles' case, it's in an America that remains the beacon of freedom, democracy and liberal values, source of global stability and anchor of the rules based international system. Both Onoda and Marles are romantics with a streak of obsession in their nature. Hiroo didn't get to determine his nation's defence policy, though.
    Then it's into the hard numbers of the new plan, including the combination of forensic accounting and clairvoyance needed to understand where the massive new headline Defence budget could have emerged from. The episode ends with mines and the curious case of Pete Hegseth accidentally channeling the spirit of Quentin Tarantino and a 1970s Japanese martial arts movie instead of God.....We're in good hands.
  • The Grumpy Strategists

    America's wartime defense budget: $1.5 trillion to deliver a military able to fight everyone - except China.....

    04/09/2026 | 53 mins.
    Back in the SAA Bunker deep in the Brindabellas, Marcus & Michael declare energy independence (okay, thanks to government subsidies) and ponder the details of the Trump Administration's new Defense budget. $1.5 trillion dollars delivers an all you can eat buffet of spending for everyone involved in the Military Industrial Complex. The traditional big end of town - Lockheed, RTX Raytheon, Northrop and Boeing get cash, & so do tech bro outfits like Anduril & Palantir. Just the US Army's missile budget is now bigger than the total budget of the US State Department - take that you peacenik diplomats. America First is looking like not just having a Department of War, but an entire Government of War. There are some minor problems: 1. given the real world usage rates in Iran, this 43% increase in annual spending won't produce enough expensive missiles & interceptors to fight even a short war with an adversary like China - so, not the strongest deterrent message. And 2. it looks a courageous assumption to think that US defence industry can ramp up at the scale and speed this cash splash desires. The budget describes a bad plan, that fails to adjust to the practical realities revealed in the Iran war - unless the plan is to be able to fight anyone except China or Russia.....
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About The Grumpy Strategists
The Grumpy Strategists chat about defence and security issues, from an Australian perspective. We say simple things about complicated issues that help cut through the politics and careful bureaucratic talking points. Critical but constructive conversations about the big security and technology issues affecting our world. RSSVERIFY
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