E294: Why Stress and Emotions Feel Intolerable Without Alcohol
Emotional reactivity is one of the biggest roadblocks to staying sober. For many of us, our brain’s alarm system has been rewired by years of drinking to overreact to even the smallest stressors, making ordinary problems feel like catastrophes. In this episode, we’ll break down the science of why that happens, from amygdala hyperactivity to weakened prefrontal regulation, and how alcohol conditions the brain to link stress directly to craving. We’ll also look at why low stress tolerance and poor coping skills create a perfect storm that keeps us stuck in the cycle of relapse, and explore 5 thinking patterns that make stress feel worse than it really is. By the end, you’ll understand why life can feel so overwhelming without alcohol, and what it really takes to rewire your brain so sobriety becomes sustainable.
What to listen to next:
E249: stress
E251: intense emotions
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free
Courses:
The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course
Don’t try harder, try different https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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20:06
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20:06
Why Shame Blocks Change
Guilt says “I did something wrong.” Shame says “I am wrong.” It feels like proof that you’re a weak-willed loser with no self-control when you keep drinking even though you said you wouldn’t or you drink more than you intended. That’s shame talking. The real truth is it’s proof that you need a different approach and that you’re lacking coping skills and the ability to be flexible in your thinking. In this episode, we’ll explore how that difference shapes recovery, the neuroscience of shame, and how moving from shame to guilt can rebuild self-worth and hope.
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free
Courses:
The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course
Don’t try harder, try different https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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13:37
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13:37
E293: Tolerance and the Disappearing Buzz
Have you ever thought back to the early days of your drinking and remembered how just one or two drinks gave you exactly what you wanted? That light, carefree buzz—the feeling that you were relaxed, loosened up, and maybe even a little funnier. Fast forward a few years, and suddenly those same two drinks barely register. You start chasing it—three, four, maybe more—and before you know it, the sweet spot is gone. Instead of a gentle buzz, you either feel nothing… or you’re over the line into drunk.
That disappearing buzz is tolerance. And tolerance is the brain’s way of adapting to repeated exposure to alcohol. In this episode, I want to unpack exactly why the same amount of alcohol feels weaker over time, how tolerance develops in your brain, why it fuels heavier drinking, and why that easy, carefree buzz eventually disappears altogether.
What to listen to next:
E279: The Pendulum Effect of Healing
E234: The Scary Side of How Alcohol Affects the Body
E220: The Hippocampus and Alcohol: Blackouts, Memory Deficits, and Learned Associations
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free
Courses:
The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course
Don’t try harder, try different https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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17:34
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17:34
E292: Why One Drink is Never Enough
Have you ever promised yourself you’d only have one drink? Maybe it was at dinner, or after work—you told yourself, “Just one, that’s it.” But once that drink was gone, something shifted. Instead of feeling satisfied, you found yourself wanting another. And another. It can feel frustrating, even confusing. What’s wrong with me? Why can other people leave some alcohol behind in their glass and I can’t fathom it?
This is one of the most common struggles people face when trying to moderate. And it’s not about willpower, discipline, or wanting it badly enough. It’s about how alcohol interacts with the brain. For some people, that first drink doesn’t close the craving loop—it opens it. In this episode, we’re going to talk about why that happens: how alcohol changes the brain’s reward system, why some people are more vulnerable than others, and why “just one” isn’t harmless if your brain is wired a certain way. By the end, you’ll understand why satisfaction never comes from moderation—and why that’s not your fault.
What to listen to next:
E265: rewiring the reward system
E204: why not everyone develops a problem
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free
Courses:
The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course
Don’t try harder, try different https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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19:00
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19:00
E291: Why You May Still Crave Alcohol Long Term, and Why No Cravings Doesn’t Mean You’re “Cured”
We tend to think of cravings as the enemy in sobriety. If you still want to drink, it must mean you’re doing something wrong. And on the other side, if the cravings go away, it’s tempting to think you’re finally “cured.” Cravings are not a sign of weakness, and the absence of cravings doesn’t mean you’re going to be a special occasion drinker. They’re both just snapshots of what’s happening in your brain at a particular moment in time, not the whole story.
In today’s episode, we’re going to look at why alcohol cravings can stick around for months or even years after you quit, what’s actually happening in your brain when you don’t feel a craving, and why both states carry their own risks. We’ll dig into long-term vulnerability, even when you feel “over it,” and how you can use that knowledge to stay steady in your recovery.
What to listen to next:
E241: 6 Theories of Alcohol Cravings
E283: Alcohol Shortens Your Perception of Time (Instant Gratification)
E284: Reward Substitution: Healthy vs. Harmful Replacements for Alcohol
E278: Intrusive Thoughts About Drinking When You’re Already Sober & 3 Ways to Deal
E270: Cravings Increase After Quitting Drinking and Peak Around 60 Days Sober and 6 Months Sober
E266: Can You Drink Again After a Break?
Work with me:
Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership
Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching
Weekly email:
You’ll hear from me on Fridays https://www.soberpowered.com/email
Free resources https://www.soberpowered.com/free
Courses:
The non-negotiable mindset https://www.soberpowered.com/mindset-course
Don’t try harder, try different https://www.soberpowered.com/willpower
Support the show:
If you enjoyed this episode please consider buying me a coffee to support all the research and effort that goes into this podcast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/soberpowered
Thank you for supporting this show by supporting my sponsors https://www.soberpowered.com/sponsors
Sources are posted on my website
Disclaimer: all of the information described in this podcast is my interpretation of the research combined with my opinion. This is not medical advice.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
About Sober Powered: The Neuroscience of Being Sober
Being sober isn't a punishment. Sober life is not a last resort for weak-willed losers who aren't strong enough to figure it out. You can be sober without feeling deprived or left out.
Millions of people wake up with another hangover and Google, "how do I know if I'm an alcoholic?". We get stuck on the label and the stigma, when instead we should be asking ourselves, "is alcohol making me miserable?" and "would I be happier if I quit drinking?" In the Sober Powered Podcast, Gill, a former biochemist turned sober coach, walks you through the latest research on alcohol use disorder using her own sober story as a case study along the way. The science of how alcohol affects the brain can help you depersonalize your drinking experience so you can finally say goodbye to your hopes and dreams of moderating someday (because you clearly can't moderate!). Getting sober doesn't mean you are a weak-willed loser with no self-control, it simply means you are a person who can't drink. Your brain loves it too much and you are too hardcore.
Each episode features in depth explanations of what is going on in the brain along with the tools and mindset shifts that Gill works on with her clients to help them accept being sober, let go of shame, and learn the coping skills required to manage stress and emotions sober -in the hopes of helping you do the same.
Website: www.soberpowered.com
USA