Soaring Child: Thriving with ADHD

Many parents worry that talking about sex, boundaries, consent, or online exposure will open doors too early—but real-world clinical experience shows the opposite. In this episode, Logan McIlwain explains why ongoing, everyday conversations actually reduce risky behavior and help kids feel safer turning to their parents instead of the internet.
Dana Kay brings a deeply personal perspective as a mom of a teen and a tween, naming the fear so many parents quietly carry: "Am I too early… or already too late?" Logan gently dismantles the pressure to get it perfect and replaces it with a more sustainable truth—presence matters more than perfection.
You'll learn how to use everyday "micro-moments" to build trust, how to respond calmly to sensitive questions, and how to reset conversations even if you feel behind. This episode is especially meaningful for parents of neurodivergent kids, where impulsivity and online exposure can make these conversations feel even heavier.
LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW
Logan McIlwain: https://loganlcsw.com/
Parent Parkway Book - https://amzn.to/4b2R1cD
KEY TAKEAWAYS
[03:00] Why this episode isn't about biology—but real-world parenting
[05:46] How inherited discomfort shapes today's parenting fears
[07:16] Why parents don't need all the answers
[08:30] What happens when parents stay silent
[12:30] Why micro-conversations beat "the big talk"
[16:15] The myth that talking leads to risky behavior
[19:27] Handling unexpected, sensitive questions calmly
[28:50] Resetting conversations when you feel behind
[29:26] Logan's one actionable parenting tip
MEMORABLE MOMENTS
"If you don't talk about these things with your children, Instagram will."
"We don't have to be perfect."
"Kids feel like parents talk at them."
"Circle back. That matters."
"You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be present."
"Understanding comes before teaching."
Dana Kay Resources:
🔗WEBSITES:
▶ https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/
▶ https://dana-kay.com/
👋SOCIALS:
▶ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/
▶ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
▶ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute
▶ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/mycompany/
▶ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/
▶ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute
📕INTERNATIONAL  BEST SELLING BOOK:
▶ Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/
💻FREE MASTERCLASS
▶ Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass - https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl
⭐COURSES & PROGRAMS
▶ ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
▶ ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/

Many parents worry that talking about sex, boundaries, consent, or online exposure will open doors too early—but real-world clinical experience shows the opposite. In this episode, Logan McIlwain explains why ongoing, everyday conversations actually reduce risky behavior and help kids feel safer turning to their parents instead of the internet.
Dana Kay brings a deeply personal perspective as a mom of a teen and a tween, naming the fear so many parents quietly carry: "Am I too early… or already too late?" Logan gently dismantles the pressure to get it perfect and replaces it with a more sustainable truth—presence matters more than perfection.
You'll learn how to use everyday "micro-moments" to build trust, how to respond calmly to sensitive questions, and how to reset conversations even if you feel behind. This episode is especially meaningful for parents of neurodivergent kids, where impulsivity and online exposure can make these conversations feel even heavier.
LINKS MENTIONED IN THE SHOW
Logan McIlwain: https://loganlcsw.com/
Parent Parkway Book - https://amzn.to/4b2R1cD
KEY TAKEAWAYS
[03:00] Why this episode isn't about biology—but real-world parenting
[05:46] How inherited discomfort shapes today's parenting fears
[07:16] Why parents don't need all the answers
[08:30] What happens when parents stay silent
[12:30] Why micro-conversations beat "the big talk"
[16:15] The myth that talking leads to risky behavior
[19:27] Handling unexpected, sensitive questions calmly
[28:50] Resetting conversations when you feel behind
[29:26] Logan's one actionable parenting tip
MEMORABLE MOMENTS
"If you don't talk about these things with your children, Instagram will."
"We don't have to be perfect."
"Kids feel like parents talk at them."
"Circle back. That matters."
"You don't have to be perfect. You just have to be present."
"Understanding comes before teaching."
Dana Kay Resources:
🔗WEBSITES:
▶ https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/
▶ https://dana-kay.com/
👋SOCIALS:
▶ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/
▶ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
▶ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute
▶ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/mycompany/
▶ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/
▶ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute
📕INTERNATIONAL  BEST SELLING BOOK:
▶ Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/
💻FREE MASTERCLASS
▶ Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass - https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl
⭐COURSES & PROGRAMS
▶ ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
▶ ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/

A child can appear calm on a screen and unravel seconds after it turns off. That reaction isn't bad behavior or poor discipline — it's a nervous system crash driven by dopamine, overstimulation, and an abrupt loss of regulation.
In this episode of The Soaring Child Podcast, Dana Kay sits down with Sondra Bakinde and Mariana Gordon, co-founders of Mindful Mantis, to unpack what's really happening in a child's brain and body during screen time. They explain why screens activate the sympathetic nervous system, how dopamine crashes trigger fight-flight-freeze responses, and why kids with ADHD feel these shifts even more intensely.
You'll learn how to spot early signs of dysregulation before meltdowns erupt, why restriction alone often backfires, and how simple transitions can support a child's nervous system instead of overwhelming it. Sondra and Mariana share practical, realistic tools — including bridging the dopamine gap, predictable transitions, connection before direction, and their Pause & Play Method — all designed for real families, not perfect ones.
If screen time feels like a daily struggle in your home, this episode will help you reframe what's happening and respond with more calm, clarity, and confidence.
Links Mentioned in the Show
https://www.themindfulmantis.com
https://www.instagram.com/themindfulmantisinc 
Key Takeaways
[01:21] Why parents immediately blame themselves
[02:13] Why this isn't a discipline issue
[04:39] How screens pull energy out of the body
[06:04] The dopamine crash explained
[08:27] Fight, flight, or freeze in kids
[11:16] Why ADHD intensifies screen reactions
[14:42] Early warning signs parents often miss
[18:11] Recovery vs restriction after screens
[20:06] Bridging the dopamine gap
[29:56] The Pause & Play Method introduced
[36:53] One grounding step parents can try today
Memorable Moments
"I am literally dealing with a feral raccoon in a human body."
"Screens pull energy outward into the eyes, the mind, the nervous system."
"That sudden shift can feel very threatening."
 "The body whispers before it shouts."
 "We focus less on restriction and more on recovery."
"Urgency feels like danger. Slowness feels like safety."
"Never end stimulation without grounding."
Dana Kay Resources:
🔗WEBSITES:
▶ https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/
▶ https://dana-kay.com/
👋SOCIALS:
▶ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/
▶ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
▶ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute
▶ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/mycompany/
▶ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/
▶ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute
📕INTERNATIONAL  BEST SELLING BOOK:
▶ Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/
💻FREE MASTERCLASS
▶ Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass - https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl
⭐COURSES & PROGRAMS
▶ ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
▶ ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/

Imagine sitting on your front porch, enjoying a quiet moment after school drop-off, only to suddenly find yourself in the grip of a panic attack—not because something went wrong, but because nothing went wrong. For Lara, this was the reality of parental PTSD. After years of daily phone calls, school expulsions, and crisis management, her nervous system had forgotten how to feel safe in the calm.
In this emotional episode, Lara shares her family's incredible journey from "survival mode" to thriving. She opens up about her son Oliver, who was once on three different medications and struggling with severe meltdowns and aggression. Lara candidly discusses the turning point that occurred during a family vacation, the step-by-step nutritional changes that transformed their lives, and the joy of finally taking a family trip to a museum without fear of a public incident.
Listen in to learn how Lara weaned her son off medication with doctor support, how she and her husband navigated their own healing, and why the silence after the storm can sometimes be the hardest adjustment of all.
Key Takeaways
[04:45] Early Signs of Dysregulation - Lara describes the extreme rage cycles and daily meltdowns that began when Oliver was just two years old.
[06:12] School Struggles - The heartbreaking reality of being dismissed from multiple preschools and eventually a public school due to severe behavioral challenges.
[12:14] The Medication Load - Oliver was on three medications—Abilify, Celexa, and various stimulants—yet the family was still "drowning in emotional roller coasters."
[13:57] The Turning Point - How a YouTube video discovered during a desperate family vacation in Florida shifted everything for Lara and her husband.
[18:27] Tackling Overwhelm with Baby Steps - Why eliminating one food group at a time—and not striving for perfection—was the key to making dietary changes sustainable.
[28:57] Feeling Again - The powerful moment when Oliver verbally expressed anger for the first time after coming off numbing mood stabilizers.
[31:03] New Freedom as a Family - The family's ability to travel to Washington D.C. and visit museums without fear of elopement, aggression, or major dysregulation.
[33:33] Parental PTSD - Lara shares her "porch story," describing a panic attack triggered simply because the school didn't call with an emergency.
[39:01] A Mindset Shift That Helps - Lara reminds parents that children are born with all the emotions—but not yet the skills to manage them.
Memorable Moments
"We ran into several mothers along our path and that was the best support for me because I could talk to them about what was going on and they didn't look at me like, what are you doing wrong?"
"We tried everything else. This makes sense to me… This is our chance."
"I remember the first time he said, 'I feel so mad'… This poor kid was so numbed and dulled that he had all these things going on, but he wasn't able to say how he felt."
"I was just there and I felt a panic… I really thought I was gonna die… I experienced a panic attack, and I don't know why. There's nothing to worry about. My son is doing great."
"Lara, your nervous system is in fight or flight, and your brain still thinks you need to fight or flight."
Dana Kay Resources:
🔗WEBSITES:
▶ https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/
▶ https://dana-kay.com/
👋SOCIALS:
▶ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/
▶ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
▶ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute
▶ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/mycompany/
▶ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/
▶ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute
📕INTERNATIONAL  BEST SELLING BOOK:
▶ Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/
💻FREE MASTERCLASS
▶ Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass - https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl
⭐COURSES & PROGRAMS
▶ ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
▶ ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/

What if the biggest struggle your child faces isn't motivation at all, but a hidden set of brain-based skills that help them start tasks, stay organized, manage time, regulate emotions, and follow through? These are executive function skills  and for kids with ADHD, they can feel nearly impossible to access.
In this episode of The Soaring Child Podcast, Dana Kay welcomes executive function expert Hannah Bookbinder, a licensed social worker and educator with almost 30 years of experience helping ADHD kids build these skills in practical, meaningful ways. Hannah explains what executive function really is, how ADHD derails it, and why even the brightest, most capable kids often feel defeated by daily routines.
Together, Dana and Hannah break down simple, real-world strategies families can begin using right away,  from training time awareness, to using visual cues, to building routines that actually stick. Hannah also shares the story behind her new book and the MyToad App, a tool designed to teach time management, organization, accountability, and focus in one supportive space.
If your child struggles with getting started, staying organized, remembering steps, or managing overwhelm, this conversation will leave you feeling understood, encouraged, and equipped with practical tools to help your child thrive.
Links Mentioned in the Show
▶ MyToad App: https://mytoadapp.com
▶ ADHD Symptom Reduction Tool: https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/tool
Connect with Hannah
▶ Website: https://mytoadapp.com
▶ Facebook: @mytoadapp
▶ Instagram: @mytoad_llc
▶ Pinterest: @mytoadllc
Key Takeaways 
[00:45] Invisible executive skills can make or break daily routines.
[02:07] Hannah's 30-year journey supporting ADHD kids.
[02:57] What executive function is — and isn't.
[04:59] Understanding age appropriateness and expectations.
[07:37] Validating kids' emotional exhaustion and defeat.
[09:59] "Now vs. Not Now" — ADHD and urgency.
[11:15] Working memory breakdowns explained.
[12:23] Simple strategy: time-estimation training.
[13:27] Sticky notes and mirror cues for daily routines.
[18:08] Why MyToad App was created.
[20:38] How the app personalizes executive function support.
[23:18] Partnership and curiosity in parenting ADHD.
Memorable Moments
"Every morning... shoes were missing, homework was not done, panic attacks at the door."
"What exactly are executive function skills…? How they don't show up in kids with ADHD."
"Emotionally, they often walk in my door very defeated."
"It's either now or not now."
"Put your phone in airplane mode… no pings, no dings, no bloops."
"Make your own shower podcast…"
"This is a partnership — especially when your child has a special need."
Dana Kay Resources:
🔗WEBSITES:
▶ https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/
▶ https://dana-kay.com/
👋SOCIALS:
▶ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/
▶ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
▶ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute
▶ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/mycompany/
▶ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/
▶ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute
📕INTERNATIONAL  BEST SELLING BOOK:
▶ Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/
💻FREE MASTERCLASS
▶ Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass - https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl
⭐COURSES & PROGRAMS
▶ ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
▶ ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/