I Wish You Could Hear This

SUMMARY:
In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with licensed professional counselor and bestselling author Debra Fileta for an honest and insightful conversation about the relationship blind spots many of us don’t realize we have. Together, they explore how emotional patterns, past wounds, and unrecognized habits can quietly shape the way we connect with others.
Debra shares practical wisdom on how to grow in self-awareness, strengthen communication, and take ownership of the ways we impact the people we love. Whether you’re dating, married, leading others, or simply wanting healthier relationships, this episode offers hope-filled tools to help you break unhealthy cycles and build deeper connection.
If you’ve ever wondered why relationships can feel harder than they should—or how to become a healthier version of yourself—this conversation is for you.
LINKS AND RESOURCES:
Book: People Skills: Your Relationships Are Only as Strong as Your Skills
Website: Debra Fileta | Best Selling Author, Speaker, Psychotherapist, and Podcaster!
The Kindness Challenge
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Summary:
In Part 2 of this important conversation on the modern dating recession, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn continue unpacking new research from the Institute for Family Studies on why so many marriage-minded singles are struggling to date—and what can actually help. With 70% of surveyed singles saying they want meaningful relationships but aren’t dating, the challenge is real—but not hopeless.
Shaunti and Jeff revisit the key barriers discussed in Part 1 and dive into additional reasons dating feels harder today, from fear and discouragement to unclear expectations and social disconnection. Most importantly, they offer practical, research-based encouragement for singles who desire marriage, as well as parents and loved ones who want to support them.
If you or someone you care about feels stuck in today’s dating landscape, this episode offers fresh insight, empathy, and a hopeful path forward toward genuine connection.
Resources:
Report on “The Dating Recession”. https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/state-of-our-unions-2026-the-dating-recession
IFS article about young men. See point 2 for “Most unmarried young men want to marry”
https://ifstudies.org/blog/young-men-are-not-checked-out-their-hopes-are-being-frustrated
For Women Only link.
For Men Only link

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Summary: In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn unpack the growing “dating recession” impacting today’s young adults. Why are so many singles ages 22 to 35 dating less or not at all? They explore the emotional, social, and cultural factors behind the trend, from fear and discouragement to a lack of confidence and connection. With practical insights and real hope, Shaunti and Jeff discuss the relationship skills that matter most, why community support is essential, and how singles can navigate today’s dating landscape with greater clarity and confidence.
Resources:
Report on “The Dating Recession”. https://ifstudies.org/report-brief/state-of-our-unions-2026-the-dating-recession
IFS article about young men. See point 2 for “Most unmarried young men want to marry”
https://ifstudies.org/blog/young-men-are-not-checked-out-their-hopes-are-being-frustrated
For Women Only
For Men Only link
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Summary: In this episode, Shaunti Feldhahn sits down with author Laurie Davies to unpack the powerful concept behind the book Emotional Hoarding: Letting Go of the Stuff That Keeps You Stuck. Together, they explore how holding onto hard emotions costs us. Emotional 'hoarding’ limits how we love, it keeps us stuck in regret, grudges, and shame—and, most importantly, it creates a disconnect between us and the freedom God wants us to walk in.
Together, Shaunti and Laurie distinguish between emotional “baggage” and the deeper patterns of emotional hoarding, highlighting signs that you might be hoarding hard emotions, and why honest self-examination is essential to breaking free.
The conversation dives into emotions such as worry, worthlessness, regret, anger, and bitterness—focusing on how scripture offers a clear path to freedom. With worry, for example, Shaunti and Laurie discuss how renewing our thinking, grounded in principles from Philippians 4:8, can close the worry loop and restore peace.
As Shaunti observed in her foreword to the book: “You will never think about your inner emotional life the same way again.”
Tune in to this episode for a hope-filled path for stepping into greater emotional and relational freedom.
Links: lauriedavies.com Emotional Hoarding on Amazon

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Summary:
Parents naturally want to protect their kids from disappointment and failure—but sometimes our help can actually get in the way of their growth. In this episode, Shaunti and Jeff talk about the growing trend of “snowplow parenting,” where parents try to clear every obstacle out of their child’s path. Through stories, research insights, and practical wisdom, they explore how well-meaning parents can unintentionally prevent their kids from learning resilience and responsibility. You’ll hear why allowing natural consequences can actually be a gift—and how to support your kids without removing every challenge in front of them.
For Parents Only
https://shaunti.com/2024/05/how-to-stop-being-a-snowplow-parent-part-1/
https://shaunti.com/2024/05/how-to-stop-being-a-snowplow-parent-part-2/
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/03/16/style/snowplow-parenting-scandal.html
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