The Speakeasy

• Anxiety Doesn't Take the Holiday's Off: Setting the Tone for the Month | Ruth Chou Simmons | Ep. 388

  December is here, Advent is upon us, and while the world is speeding up, this conversation is an invitation to slow down, breathe deep, and remember that anxiety does not magically clock out for the holidays. In this episode, we talk with Ruth about what it looks like to set the tone for the month of Advent with intention, slowness, and a heart that is more focused on Jesus than on performance, expectations, or a perfectly curated Christmas. Episode Overview So often, December becomes a pressure cooker: Packed calendars Parties and performances Family expectations Untended relationships Mom guilt and spiritual guilt If we are honest, it is easy to end the month exhausted, anxious, and wondering if we missed what Advent was really about. This episode is a gentle reset. Together we talk about: Why your anxiety around the holidays is understandable How to set expectations and boundaries without guilt How to stop treating December like a spiritual performance review How to carry Advent rhythms into January, February, and beyond Practically preparing Him room in your actual life, not just your ideal one And underneath all of it: the reminder that God really does see you, loves you, and is not grading your Christmas performance. Key Themes From the Conversation Advent as a beginning, not a box Instead of cramming all spiritual depth into four weeks, we talk about Advent as the starting line for rhythms that can continue all year. The goal is not a perfect December, but a reoriented heart that remembers Emmanuel, God with us, in every season. Letting go of holiday perfectionism Naming how much of our striving is actually about approval, worth, and wanting to be seen as a good mom, good host, or good Christian. Asking honest questions: What do I think I will gain from doing all of this? Is this truly about honoring Jesus or about proving something? Heart clutter and preparing Him room Ruth shares how her work on Advent came out of her own struggle to feel like everything had to happen in December. The phrase "prepare Him room" assumes there is clutter in our hearts that needs to be cleared, not just in our schedules. Permission to say no You do not have to say yes to every party, event, or opportunity, even if they are all good things. Sometimes the holiest thing you can do is guard a blank square on the calendar as "occupied by rest, family, and presence." Repairing relationships without putting all the pressure on one month We often try to fix a year's worth of tension or distance in a single holiday season. Advent is a beautiful time to begin the work of reconciliation, but not a demand to tie everything up with a bow by December 25. Parenting, anxiety, and what our kids actually see Our kids are learning what Christmas is by watching us. When they see us frantic, angry, and stressed, they learn that "this is what Christmas feels like." When they see us repent, reset, and re-center on Jesus, they witness the Gospel in real time. Scripture Threads in This Episode 3 John 1:2 Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. Luke 12:27 Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. We talk about how Jesus pointed anxious hearts to birds and flowers as living reminders that the Father is not forgetful, and that our worth is not held together by our hustle. Practical Ways To Set the Tone for This Month Here are some simple, realistic practices that came up in the conversation: Decide your non negotiables A daily or weekly family moment to pray, read a verse, or use an Advent resource. A small rhythm that fits your actual life: after dinner, Saturday mornings, or before bed. Mark the "nothing" days on your calendar Literally block off blank days as taken. Protect margin so there is room for real conversations, unhurried play, and quiet with God. Saturate your environment with reminders of Jesus Scripture on the walls, art that points your eyes up, worship and Advent music playing in the background, an open Bible on the table. Let what you see, hear, and read pull your attention back to Him throughout the day. Practice quick repentance, not long self condemnation When you catch yourself spiraling, snapping, or worshiping your to do list, pause. Talk with Jesus first: Lord, I put this party, this list, or this image of myself on the throne. I am sorry. Please reorder my heart. Then talk with your people: Hey, I am sorry for how I just acted. That is not what I want this season to feel like for us. Can we reset and try again? Pay attention to embodied people, not just online life Online community is a gift, but the people under your roof and the ones who know your everyday life matter first. Ask God to help you see them, listen to them, and be fully present with them. Reflective Questions For You You might want to jot these down in a journal or talk them through with a friend or spouse: What is my real emotional temperature going into this month: anxious, hopeful, numb, overwhelmed? Where am I secretly hoping that a "perfect" Christmas will heal or fix something that actually needs long term tending with God? What are three things I can say no to this month so I can say a deeper yes to Jesus, my family, and rest? How can I build in daily "touch points" with God's Word that fit my real life, not my ideal life? Where do I need to humble myself, apologize, or reset the tone in my home? Sponsor: CrowdHealth It is open enrollment season, which is exactly when traditional health insurance hopes you will just click "renew" on high premiums and confusing fine print. CrowdHealth is a refreshingly different alternative. With your monthly membership you get: A team that helps negotiate medical bills Lower lab tests and many prescriptions Access to a network of vetted doctors And when something major happens, you pay the first 500 dollars and then the rest of the community steps in to help This is not insurance, but it is a way to opt out of a broken system and take some power back over your health care. To get started: Visit joincrowdhealth.com Use the code speak easy Pay just 99 dollars for your first three months Again: joincrowdhealth.com, code speak easy. Sponsor: PreBorn PreBorn is doing incredible, life saving work by providing free ultrasounds to women considering abortion. Women are about twice as likely to choose life after seeing an ultrasound or hearing a heartbeat. This year alone, PreBorn has helped rescue tens of thousands of babies. Their care does not stop at birth: they offer counseling, classes, and even practical help up to two years after the baby is born. You can literally be part of saving a baby's life today: 28 dollars funds one free ultrasound Go to preborn.com slash speak easy That is preborn.com slash speak easy Thank you for standing in the gap for moms and babies.

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• Ending Well: Getting My Glow Back | Episode 387

  Week four of the Ending Well series lands right at the halfway mark. This episode is a look back over a three-year road (starting in 2022) of how God helped me fight inflammation, feel like myself again, and regain my "glow." This is not a weight-loss talk, not a quick-fix list, and not medical advice. It's a redemption story about healing from the inside out — spiritually, emotionally, and physically. "Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers." — 3 John 1:2 Key Themes Redemption doesn't just cover salvation; it keeps working through sanctification and healing. Inflammation wasn't just a food problem — it was also a soul and nervous system problem. Real health change is slow, layered, and personal. Your timeline will not look like mine. The glow came as a byproduct of feeling better and living freer, not chasing beauty. Important Disclaimers This episode is descriptive, not prescriptive. Not medical advice. Always talk with a qualified professional for your situation. Do not try to do everything at once. This was a year of foundations plus a total three-year process. One percent better beats perfect overnight. The Story: How the Dominoes Fell 1. August 2022: Stepping Back From Fear-Driven "Crunchy" Culture I was drowning in rules, guilt, and constant fear of what might be harming me. The anxiety and striving became more toxic than the ingredients I was avoiding. First domino: I quit trying to do it all perfectly and started living with grace, budget reality, and peace. Lowering my standards for myself lowered my inflammation. "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." — Matthew 11:28 2. October 2022: A Major Boundary With a Toxic Relationship I set a serious boundary with someone whose presence fueled self-hatred. Went no contact for about six months. The inner tape of shame and criticism began to quiet. I learned that giving up self-hatred is profoundly anti-inflammatory. Recommended resource mentioned: When to Walk Away by Gary Thomas (plus podcast interview) "Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life." — Proverbs 4:23 3. Early 2023: Changing How I Worked Out I stopped high-intensity workouts that were spiking cortisol daily. Switched to lifting heavy and slow, more functional strength training. Worked out less, recovered more. Energy improved, inflammation eased, confidence rose. Current favorite: Nourish Move Love workouts on YouTube. Big takeaway: exercise is a gift, not punishment. 4. February to May 2023: Going Gluten-Free and Cutting Back on Alcohol Grain Brain by Dr. David Perlmutter was a turning point. I tried going gluten-free (cold turkey, not ideal but it worked). Brain fog cleared, bloat dropped, inflammation noticeably reduced. Cutting alcohol alongside gluten made a huge difference. I don't need to understand every mechanism to honor what clearly helps my body. Reminder: everyone has a "thing" — gluten, dairy, sugar, alcohol, stress. Find yours with grace. 5. August 2023: Getting Off SSRIs After 15 Years A massive milestone with a full story in episode 267. For me, SSRIs were not helping inflammation or overall vitality anymore. The drop in facial inflammation from August to December was dramatic. I'm not shaming anyone on SSRIs — I was on them a long time. This was my path. "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." — Galatians 5:1 What Actually Healed Me This part matters: the glow wasn't mainly from products. Lowering impossible expectations Creating boundaries Learning to like myself Getting out of fight-or-flight Moving my body in a gentler way Removing gluten and minimizing alcohol Walking in obedience even when it felt backwards Healing was spiritual and emotional first, physical second. "Be transformed by the renewing of your mind." — Romans 12:2 Simple "Glow Back" Skin Habits These are the practical, easy wins that helped the outside catch up to the inside. Dermaplaning at home Removes dead skin and peach fuzz. Skin care and makeup apply better. Big difference in glow and smoothness. Learn carefully through YouTube tutorials and use a quality razor. Stopping skin picking Picking was aggravating redness and irritation. I prayed about it and replaced the habit. New habit: brush my hair when the urge hits. Asking God for help in small things counts. Sponsor Spotlight: PreBorn A free ultrasound can double a mother's chance of choosing life. PreBorn offers ultrasounds plus ongoing support for mothers for up to two years. It costs 28 dollars to sponsor one ultrasound. Donate at preborn.com/speakeasy. Takeaways to Sit With If you're overwhelmed, start with one domino. God often heals from the root, not just the symptom. Your body listens to your beliefs. Peace, obedience, and self-kindness are deeply practical health tools. The goal isn't prettier; it's freer, healthier, and more whole. Reflective Questions What is one area where fear or perfectionism is inflaming your life? Who or what might need a boundary so you can heal? What small change feels like the next right step, not the whole staircase? How would your health shift if you treated yourself like someone God deeply loves? Closing Encouragement This glow-back story is really a "come back to life" story. It wasn't a sprint; it was obedience in baby steps. If you're in the thick of it today, don't despise the slow fade. God redeems years, bodies, minds, and hearts — and He's patient in the process. "He restores my soul." — Psalm 23:3

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• A Thanksgiving Anchor Episode | Blake | Episode 386

  The day before Thanksgiving, we hit pause together for a short "FaceTime-style" heart-to-heart. Whether you're bracing for tricky family dynamics or you're the holiday superfan, this mini-episode gives you a simple, grace-filled plan to enter the day grounded, intentional, and at peace—without pretending or performing. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." — Proverbs 3:5–6 What We Talk About Two honest camps we tend to fall into for Thanksgiving (dreaded & pressured vs. excited & overamped) — and how intention bridges both. The 2023 burnout story that led to boundaries, fewer yeses, and clearer expectations. A 5–10 minute grounding ritual you can do today (journal-optional) to shape tomorrow. Why your presence > performance — and how to carry peace into complicated rooms. Gratitude as an anchor, not a performance — practical ways to spot "small gifts." Navigating family roles, old wounds, and people-pleasing without losing your growth. "Touch grass" breaks and mini-Sabbaths that reset your nervous system mid-chaos. Scripture Anchors Proverbs 3:5–6 — Trust > understanding; acknowledge > control. 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 — "Rejoice… pray… give thanks… for this is God's will." Philippians 4:6–7 — Prayer + thanksgiving → peace that guards your heart. Colossians 3:15 — "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts… and be thankful." The 5–10 Minute "Pre-Game" (Do this today) Name it honestly. Write how you actually feel about tomorrow (the good, the hard, the mixed). No bypassing. Three clarifying questions: What do I want to carry into tomorrow? What do I need to leave behind? What kind of presence do I want to bring? (peace, presence, wholeness, gentleness, curiosity, simplicity) Gratitude that isn't performative. List 3–5 specifics: Where has God sustained me lately? What tiny gift have I been overlooking? Where can I choose wonder over worry today? Pray it in. "Jesus, I acknowledge You here. Set my pace. Guard my tone. Keep me rooted." "Be still, and know that I am God." — Psalm 46:10 Day-Of Rhythm (Quick Guide) Before you step in: step outside, touch grass, breathe, pray a verse (Prov. 3:5–6). Alarms as mini-Sabbaths: try 11:45 / 2:30 / 6:00 — step out, breathe, reset. Protect your growth: You can show up as who you are now, not who you used to be or who they expect. Boundaries are love: You're not responsible for others' perceptions; you are responsible for your presence. Gentle Prompts for the Table (or your journal) Where did I see a small mercy today? What pressure can I lower by 20% without harming the moment? If peace walked into this room, what would it sound like from me? Sponsor Messages PreBorn An ultrasound can double the chance a mom chooses life. This year alone, more than 38,000 babies were rescued through PreBorn's work, with moms supported through counseling and tangible help for up to two years after birth. $28 sponsors one ultrasound. Be the first voice of hope: PreBorn.com/Speakeasy CrowdHealth Open enrollment got you stressed? CrowdHealth is an alternative: pay a monthly advocacy fee for bill negotiation, affordable labs/prescriptions, and a trusted network of low-cost, high-quality doctors. If something big happens, you pay the first $500; the crowd helps with the rest. Start for $99 for your first 3 months with code speakeasy at joincrowdhealth.com. Disclaimer: CrowdHealth is not insurance.

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• Ending Well: The Addiction to Productivity | Episode 385

  Welcome back to week three of our Ending Well series — a journey to close out 2025 by reclaiming what's been hard, remembering what God has done, and letting Him renew our perspective before the year ends. In this episode, we're talking about something that hits close to home for so many of us — the addiction to productivity. This one is for the hustlers, the people-pleasers, and the high achievers who have built their worth around being useful, helpful, or constantly "doing." You're in good company, friend. Blake shares honestly about how God revealed her own dependence on productivity — how the need to "produce" had quietly become an idol — and how He's been peeling back layers of identity, performance, and striving to reveal something better: rest, surrender, and abiding. This conversation is a gentle but powerful reminder that: Rest isn't laziness — it's obedience. You are loved apart from what you produce. Productivity can serve you, but it was never meant to define you. God doesn't need your performance — He wants your presence. Through scripture, reflection, and a few hard-won lessons from this past year, Blake unpacks what it means to live from overflow rather than output. From redefining success in motherhood and work to learning that obedience sometimes looks like slowing down, this episode will meet you right in the tension between doing and being. "We were never meant to live as output machines. We were created to work from rest, not for it." If you've been running on empty, struggling to stop striving, or wondering why slowing down feels unsafe, this episode will help you rediscover the peace that comes when you let God set the pace. This episode is brought to you by: PreBorn — Every $28 you give sponsors an ultrasound for a woman considering abortion. When she hears her baby's heartbeat, everything changes. This year alone, over 38,000 babies have been rescued through PreBorn's work, and mothers receive the support they need through counseling, financial aid, and care for up to two years after birth. Be the first voice of hope. Sponsor an ultrasound today at PreBorn.com/Speakeasy Subscribe to The Speakeasy YouTube Channel for more faith-filled conversations that inspire reflection, rest, and renewal:  https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtqJ8I4hmCH-w3Cw4XzFZoQ

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• The Holy Work of Getting Healthy | Amy Bernhard | Episode 384

  Welcome back to The Speakeasy Podcast! In this episode, I'm joined by one of my closest friends—and one of my favorite people to learn from—Amy Bernhardt. I call her my "continuing education friend" because she's always learning, growing, and sharing wisdom that hits deep. Amy recently shared something online that stopped me in my tracks: "What if your weight loss journey isn't about losing weight at all, but about God teaching you about yourself and preparing you for what's next?" That idea launched one of the most honest and powerful conversations we've had—about what happens when we stop chasing perfection and start letting God use our health journey to heal our hearts, renew our minds, and strengthen our spirits. Amy shares her story of going from extreme fitness culture and burnout to walking in balance, fasting, and freedom. She opens up about breaking cycles of self-sabotage, learning discipline through small daily choices, and discovering that getting healthy can be one of the holiest things you ever do. We also talk about: The false identities that keep us stuck in shame and failure How fasting revealed spiritual strongholds, not just physical habits The connection between physical healing, emotional renewal, and obedience What it means to start before you "feel ready" and trust God with the process This conversation is both real and redemptive, reminding us that God cares about every part of us—body, mind, and spirit—and He's in the details of your healing journey. This episode is brought to you by: PreBorn — Every $28 you give sponsors an ultrasound for a woman considering abortion. When she hears her baby's heartbeat, everything changes. You can be the voice of hope that helps save a life and support a mother in need. 💛 Give today at PreBorn.com/Speakeasy CrowdHealth — It's open enrollment season, and if health insurance makes you want to scream into a pillow, you're not alone. CrowdHealth is the better way—no insurance, no hidden fees, just a community that helps cover medical costs together. Pay a low monthly fee, get transparent pricing, and take your power back. Get started for just $99 for your first three months with code SPEAKEASY at joincrowdhealth.com Subscribe to The Speakeasy YouTube Channel for more faith-filled conversations that blend real life, healing, and hope: 👉 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtqJ8I4hmCH-w3Cw4XzFZoQ

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