Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

• How to Change Your Personality with Olga Khazan

  Can we really change our personalities? In this episode, Forrest is joined by someone who’s actually tried most of the things we talk about on the podcast: journalist and author Olga Khazan. Olga shares the personal experiments that led to her becoming more extroverted and agreeable, and less neurotic. They discuss the Big Five personality traits, how behavior shapes identity, the role of self-concept, authenticity, and some of the common challenges people face when trying to change a core aspect of who they are. About Our Guest: Olga Khazan is a writer at The Atlantic, where she covers health, culture, and the complexities of human behavior. She's the author of Weird: The Power of Being an Outsider in an Insider World and her new book Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: Olga’s personal background with personality change 5:20: Age, extroversion, self-concept, and Olga’s improv classes 10:10: Unconditional positive regard, meditation, and mindfulness 20:55: Trying on different traits, and acceptance vs. change 24:25: Conscientiousness, openness, agreeableness, and individualism 36:20: Changing at the ‘trait level’, and the changes Olga has embraced most 43:50: Psychedelics, non-self, and identifying what’s really true 53:50: Nature vs. nurture and the aspects we can’t change 56:30: Parenting and personality change 1:02:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee! Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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• Your Parents Are Emotionally Immature. Now What? w/ Dr. Lindsay Gibson

  Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins Forrest to explore emotional immaturity, the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature caregivers, and what we can do to change those patterns in adulthood. They discuss the key signs of emotional immaturity, including egocentrism, low empathy, and affective realism. Dr. Gibson then shares how having an emotionally immature parent affects children, often by leading to emotional disconnection and people-pleasing, and the consequences of these patterns in adult life. Topics include the problems with “just be more compassionate,” estrangement, balancing competing desires, and how to heal in adulthood by reconnecting with your feelings, letting go of old fantasies, and setting healthy boundaries. About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of the Emotional Immaturity series of books, including her bestseller Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: How Dr. Gibson defines emotional immaturity 6:45: Markers of emotional immaturity in parents 11:05: Emotional intelligence in children, loneliness, and regulating parents 19:05: The arc of recovery, responding to feelings with thoughts, and healthy guidance 31:00: Repeating patterns in relationships 36:15: Letting go of the healing fantasy, and when to take space 42:45: Estrangement, compassion, boundary setting, and becoming more authentic 58:45: When healthy change creates social pressure 1:01:55: Common misconceptions about emotional immaturity 1:06:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee! Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  1:22:11
• Self-Concept: The Secret to Changing WHO You Are

  Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how self-concept, the invisible architecture of who we are, shapes our lives. They discuss how identity can become a cage, the unconscious beliefs we have about who we are, and how loosening those beliefs might be the key to lasting change. Forrest and Rick talk about the science of psychological flexibility, how to challenge limiting self-beliefs, and why a little more “don’t-know mind” can go a long way. They share insights from Carl Rogers, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Buddhist philosophy, and focus on practical ways to update your self-concept without losing who you are. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: What is self-concept? 8:25: Stories, frameworks, and expectations 13:30: ‘I’ vs. ‘me’, and feeling misunderstood 16:55: Carl Rogers’ framework of self-concept and congruence 24:20: Common tropes for defending identity 30:45: Applying principles of biological evolution to your sense of self 34:50: Resistance to change, and misguided beliefs 40:35: Don’t-know mind, affirmation, and taking in the good 47:30: The Buddhist conception of the self 53:40: Living in direct experience, and basic trust 56:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days. Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee! Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  1:09:24
• Linking: The Secret to Rewiring Painful Memories

  Forrest and Dr. Rick explore one of his most powerful psychological tools: linking. Over time, linking can help us rewire the brain, softening the impact of painful memories. They discuss the neuroscience behind this process, the role of memory reconsolidation, and the importance of matching positive experiences to our original pains. Rick shares personal examples, practical tips, and a few important cautions so you can apply this technique safely. This is a grounded, hands-on episode focused on one of his most high-impact ideas. Warning: There is a brief mention of SA toward the end of the episode.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:45: What is linking? 5:30: The relationship between linking and memory, and coherence therapy 12:20: The challenges with linking, and making the positive stronger than the negative 20:40: How to practice linking 31:00: How to disentangle our adult selves from our ‘parts’ 39:30: The “erasure protocol” 53:15: How long it takes for linking to help, and key questions to ask yourself 1:02:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days. Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee! Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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  1:12:35
• How to Get On the Same Team: Relationship Mailbag

  Dr. Rick and Forrest answer questions focused on navigating common relationship conflicts, focusing on situations where people need to find a middle path between different needs. The discussion covers balancing sensitivity with directness, bridging differences in emotional processing speeds, setting healthy boundaries without anger, and understanding how childhood patterns influence adult relationships. Throughout, they explore how couples can move from seeing issues as "me problems" to "we problems," emphasizing the importance of being on the same team and strengthening connection. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: How do I know if I’m being too sensitive or my partner’s being too harsh? 13:30: I need space to process; my partner wants to resolve things immediately. How do we bridge the gap? 20:55: How do I determine whether or not a relationship problem is a dealbreaker? 33:00: How can I discern between rumination and useful anxiety? 41:40: How can I honor my need for self-protection while maintaining my naturally open heart? 49:15: If parents have certain problematic traits, are their children more likely to develop those traits as well? 56:00: Recap Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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