The Wise Effort Show

After a client checked in on her wellbeing following a newsletter that said she felt overwhelmed, Diana reflects on how modern life collapses the space we need to know what fuels us versus drains us. She shares creating space through an “energy audit,” moving commitments, stepping back from Instagram, and hiring help, alongside preparing for an emotionally significant talk at her son’s prestigious prep school where her eating disorder and perfectionism began. In her Sangha/Dharma talk, she reframes “space between stimulus and response” into space within, between, and around us, emphasizing psychological distancing—relating to thoughts and feelings rather than being inside them. Drawing from time in the ER with a close friend recovering from extensive cancer surgery, she explores interbehavioral fields, brain “syncing” research, and the idea that what holds everything is consciousness.
Listen and learn:
How space is not between stimulus and response but within, between, and around us.

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Connecting With Diana
Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
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Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Dr. Diana Hill shares how retreat helps clarify where your energy is aligned or depleted, drawing on her family’s annual week at Plum Village, a Buddhist Monastery founded by Thich Nhat Hahn. When you go on retreat, you come back to yourself and things become more clear for you about how you want to use your energy, about where you're off track, where you're out of alignment. Listen to this episode to hear five lessons she learned from Plum Village that you can apply to your daily life right now.
Listen and learn:
Lesson One Let Yourself Cry
Lesson Two Sometimes Happens
Lesson Three Missing Instrument
Lesson Four Disease Purifies
Lesson Five Movement Has Life

If this episode helps, share it with someone whose energy is misaligned and drained.
Related Resources
Get enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community member
Sign up for my newsletter
Order my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.

Diana's Events
See Diana at an upcoming event

Connecting With Diana
Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.
Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.

Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Mentioned in this episode:
Join the Wise Effort Community
Wise Effort Community

Do you get grippy, anxious, or self-critical when life doesn’t go the way you planned? In this Secret Sangha episode, I explore the paradox and dark side of control—sparked by what happened at a private dinner after my Tell the Truth Salon event with Dan Siegel. Drawing on Dan’s ABC motivational systems (agency, belonging, certainty), we unpack how control spirals show up as rumination, self-blame, people-pleasing, or criticism. I also share how one question at dinner revealed that many pivotal moments in our lives come when control is ripped away.
Listen and learn:
The ABC systems behind your control habits: agency, belonging, and certainty
Common “dark side” control strategies (inner focus, outer focus, and push-pull)
What’s not up to you (others’ actions, happiness, thoughts/feelings, outcomes) and what is (your actions and response)
The Wise Effort method: get curious, sort what you can/can’t control, and focus your energy

If this episode helps, share it with someone who’s stuck in a control loop.
Related Resources
Get enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community member
Sign up for my newsletter
Order my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.

Diana's Events
See Diana at an upcoming event

Connecting With Diana
Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.
Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.

Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Mentioned in this episode:
Join the Wise Effort Community
Wise Effort Community

On The Wise Effort show, Diana Hill talks with Dr. Joseph Ciarrochi, a researcher in process-based therapy and ACT, about self-righteous anger and how to stay honest and kind when others aren’t. They explore the psychology of getting “hijacked” in conflict, describing outrage and being right as an addiction (experiential attachment) distinct from experiential avoidance, with different intervention implications. Using examples like a conflict with neighbors, online outrage, and relationship fights, they discuss wise distance, not adding fuel to the fire, asserting boundaries when effective, and directing core human yearnings (competence, connection, purpose, meaning, orientation, and feeling) toward what truly satisfies rather than empty status pursuits.
Related Resources
Get enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community member
Sign up for my newsletter
Order my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.

Diana's Events
See Diana at an upcoming event

Connecting With Diana
Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.
Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.

Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Mentioned in this episode:
Tell the Truth Salon Series
 You are invited to join me live in person or streaming online here in Santa Barbara to Tell the Truth Salon Series. This is something that I have been dreaming up for a while now. I want us to gather in person, online, and have real conversations, unedited, unscripted, with people who are change-makers in our world, but also to uncover our own inner truths. https://drdianahill.com/salon
Tell the Truth Salon Series

Dr. Diana Hill interviews contemplative social scientist and emotion researcher Dr. Eve Ekman, senior fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center and co-creator (with her father Paul Ekman) of The Atlas of Emotions, a tool requested by the Dalai Lama to help people understand how emotions arise and are experienced. They discuss why “emotion regulation” can miss the larger richness of emotions, and how the Atlas emphasizes triggers, physiology, personal history, and—most importantly—our responses, which can be constructive or destructive. Ekman describes building awareness over time rather than relying on quick fixes, the costs of suppression, and the role of sangha and relationships in working with emotions. The conversation also explores grief, caregiving, Father’s Day, impermanence, and Ekman’s experience losing her 91-year-old father after dementia, including relief, tenderness, and the social nature of emotions.
Listen and Learn:
Emotions are more than something to regulate.
Emotional awareness is built through practice.
Making room for grief can deepen love and connection.

Related Resources
Get enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community member
Sign up for my newsletter
Order my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.

Diana's Events
See Diana at an upcoming event

Connecting With Diana
Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.
Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.

Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Mentioned in this episode:
Tell the Truth Salon Series
 You are invited to join me live in person or streaming online here in Santa Barbara to Tell the Truth Salon Series. This is something that I have been dreaming up for a while now. I want us to gather in person, online, and have real conversations, unedited, unscripted, with people who are change-makers in our world, but also to uncover our own inner truths. https://drdianahill.com/salon
Tell the Truth Salon Series