#81: Attach Too Quickly? How to stop the Cycle of Disappointment
Wanting love and being ready for it aren’t the same thing. You might be on the apps, going on dates, even hiring a matchmaker—but if you keep finding yourself in the cycle of “hot and heavy” followed by fade and fizzle, the problem may be pacing.
In this episode, Hilary unpacks the anxious dating behaviors that push love away and she lays out five concrete ways to date with emotional security rather than a sense of urgency. From keeping your schedule intact, to knowing when to hold back on texting or intimacy, Hilary shows you how to stop spiraling into fantasy and start building real connection—without losing yourself in the process.
If you’ve ever skipped Pilates to wait for his call, or decided you were all-in by the third date, this conversation is your reset.
Episode Highlights:
Wanting love vs. actually being ready for it — why they’re not the same
The role of pacing and how falling too fast sabotages connection
Matching his effort, not his potential, to avoid heartbreak
Episode Breakdown:
00:00 Are You Really Ready for Love?
03:27 The Pitfalls of Falling Too Fast
04:52 Five Ways Women Date with Confidence
05:03 Tip 1: Stay Focused on Your Own Life
06:05 Tip 2: Keep Early Dates Short and Intentional
07:08 Tip 3: Match His Effort, Not His Potential
07:51 Tip 4: Delay Physical Intimacy
09:15 Tip 5: Don't Build a Bond Over Text
10:08 Attracting Emotionally Available Men
Healthy, emotionally available men are attracted to confidence, patience, and balance—not eagerness or desperation. Date from security, and you’ll naturally filter out the wrong men while attracting the ones who are truly ready.
✨ I’m Hilary Silver, LCSW, former psychotherapist turned master coach and founder of Ready for Love. I help high-achieving women show up in love as confidently as they do in their careers.
💡 Through this podcast, I share my WOMAN-centered, SELF-centered approach—time-tested methods that blend psychology, brain science, relationship skills, and no-BS dating advice.
🎙️ Since 2017, we’ve helped over 10,000 women with a 98% success rate, making Ready for Love the #1 program in the world for women who’ve tried everything else.
👉 Watch Hilary’s free masterclass: https://readyforloveinc.com/masterclass
Or apply for a free breakthrough call with her team at https://readyforloveinc.com/apply
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