"Maternal gatekeeping" usually shows up in pop culture as an overbearing, overprotective mother preventing everyone else from even touching the baby. But maternal gatekeeping is a multidimensional phenomenon that isn't as simple as anxious mothers needing complete control over their newborn's schedule. Here is what the studies on maternal gatekeeping say and how it can manifest in two-parent households.
Amy and Margaret discuss:
The three dimensions of the term "maternal gatekeeping" and what the original definition gets wrong
The best predictors of maternal gatekeeping in a couple's dynamic
The societal pressures that reinforce maternal gatekeeping
Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Miss Perceived podcast with Leah Ruppanner: Are Dads Being Shut Out of Childcare? Breaking Down the "Maternal Gate"
Sarah J. Schoppe-Sullivan, et. al for Parenting Science and Practice Journal: Who are the Gatekeepers? Predictors of Maternal Gatekeeping
Sarah M. Allen and Alan J. Hawkins for the Journal of Marriage and Family: Maternal Gatekeeping: Mothers' Beliefs and Behaviors That Inhibit Greater Father Involvement in Family Work
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, cognitive labor, maternal gatekeeping
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47:00
DEEP DIVE: Mom Rage
This Deep Dive series is all about why motherhood is so gosh darn hard. Turns out there are sociopolitical forces at play that make motherhood way harder than it needs to be. Listen to the full playlist on Spotify.
"Mom rage" is a thing, and it feels shameful because it feels so far from where we are supposed to be as mothers and as women. Writer Anne Lamott called it "a closely guarded secret, as if the myth of maternal bliss is so sacrosanct that we can't even admit these feelings to ourselves."
But it's more universal than we admit, and its triggers more predictable. There are also practical ways we can all recognize it sooner when it might be building within ourselves.
In this episode, we discuss:
How a "sequence of provocations" can dramatically increase anger
Why lack of sleep is a major cause of mom rage
Things that work to lengthen our fuses
If you found this episode useful, here are some other episodes of ours you might listen to next:
Fresh Take: Carla Naumburg Tells Us How To Stop Losing It With Our Kids (May 2021)
Sometimes We Lose It (Dec 2018)
How to Yell Less (Dec 2024)
Here are links to some of the resources we mentioned in the episode:
@momuninterrupted on Instagram: "Nighttime Parenting"
Anne Lamott for Salon: "Mother Rage: Theory and Practice"
Pallavi Pundir for Vice: ‘It’s Like I Was Possessed’: Women Reveal the Deepest, Darkest Moments of Their ‘Mom Rage’
Minna Dubin for The New York Times: "The Rage Mothers Don’t Talk About"
Minna Dubin for The New York Times: ‘I Am Going to Physically Explode’: Mom Rage in a Pandemic
NBC Boston: What Is Mom Rage? Why Are So Many Women Feeling It?
Mairead Heffron for Image: The secret rage of motherhood: ‘I never imagined that my child could be both the trigger and target of my anger’
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, mom blame, mom rage
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48:42
Fresh Take: Tamron Hall
How can we show kids that their neighborhoods are wonderful places to explore, learn, and grow? Tamron Hall, author of the NYT-bestselling book HARLEM HONEY, discusses why fostering hometown curiosity in kids is so important.
Tamron Hall is a two-time Emmy Award-winning television host and executive producer of syndicated talk show Tamron Hall.
Tamron and Margaret discuss:
Becoming a mom later in life
Navigating anxiety in our kids
Why Mom going off to work at the beginning of HARLEM HONEY is so important
Here's where you can find Tamron:
https://tamronhallshow.com/
Buy HARLEM HONEY: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780063244849
@tamronhall on IG, FB, Threads, TikTok, and X
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, parental stress, emotions, kids emotions, parent emotions, uncertainty,
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43:37
I Wish I'd Done This Sooner
What's something in your life that's made such a difference you wish you'd done it earlier? That's what we asked our listeners, and they came up with a range of excellent ideas, from big changes to tiny tweaks.
Amy and Margaret discuss:
Ideal coffee/tea temperatures
Meal planning strategies that actually work
Margaret's two recurring dreams and what they mean
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, cognitive labor, meal planning, grocery delivery, scheduling, family planner, family schedule
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44:21
DEEP DIVE: Why Do Moms Get All The Blame?
This Deep Dive series is all about why motherhood is so gosh darn hard. Turns out there are sociopolitical forces at play that make motherhood way harder than it needs to be. Listen to the full playlist on Spotify.
Mothers have long been held at fault for anything that might occur in their children's lives, from autism ("refrigerator mothers") to colic, and everything in between. Why is there such a long history of blaming everything on Mom?
In this episode, we discuss how mom blame has manifested in both psychology and parenting advice over the years, and how we can start to push back on it in our own lives.
Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Joseph E. Davis, PhD for Psychology Today: "For a Moratorium on Parent Blaming"
Mitzi M. Waltz, PhD for the AMA Journal of Ethics: "Mothers and Autism: The Evolution of a Discourse of Blame"
Rosjke Hasseldine for Medium: "How Mother Blaming Harms the Mother-Daughter Bond"
Bonnie Zucker for Scary Mommy: "From a Psychologist: No, It's Not All Mom's Fault"
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:
https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.
mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
About What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms
When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard.
We're Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like.
In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.
If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way.
We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.
We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.
If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!
whatfreshhellpodcast.com
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