The Black Mother Wound Podcast

• Ep 064: You're Not a Burden

  Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.***************************************How we can stay connected and work together!1. Grab my free mini-course2.  Work with me one-on-one***************************************Many of us grew up feeling unwanted, like our very being was too much, like our presence took up space that no one wanted to give. Sometimes, it began at home. Sometimes, it was the way our mother looked at us, spoke to us, or ignored us. And slowly, that feeling settled in. A quiet, heavy shame that followed us everywhere.But a feeling is not a fact.Carrying the belief that you're a burden makes life heavier. It pushes you away from connection, even when your heart aches for it. That’s why healing begins with truth. You were never too much. You were never the problem. You were a child in need of care, safety, and love. And that love begins with you.You are not a burden. You are worthy of love, of rest, of joy, and of being known and welcomed. It is never too late to believe that.In this episode, we talk about feeling like a burden and how it hurts our self-worth. Healing starts when we comfort the little child inside us who felt alone and unwanted. You’ll learn how to love yourself more and find places where you truly belong. Tune in to discover simple steps to feel safe, grow, and shine as your true self."Feeling like a burden is a burden. It is a weight that you carry and it makes it impossible for you to show up as your true self."– Jennifer ArniseTopics Covered:(00:00:00) Episode Snippet(00:00:11) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast(00:03:06) Acknowledge your lived experience(00:06:09) The shame of being a burden runs deep(00:08:00) To my little inner girl: You matter(00:10:05) Hyper-independence is rooted in fear of not belonging(00:12:05) How to reset your mindset(00:14:10) Let yourself be seen, even in small ways(00:16:23) Nobody can abandon me (00:18:03) Stop over-performing to earn love(00:20:33) Your only job is to take care of yourself(00:22:04) Reparent your inner child(00:25:17) Not an entitlement, but a healthy self-esteem(00:26:40) Show up for your inner child consistently(00:27:07) You deserve all good thingsKey Takeaways:  "Your only job is to take care of yourself. It is to go in and lick your wounds and soothe yourself and find the comfort that you deserve."DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.Support the showFollow me on IG @blackmotherwound

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• Ep 063: Give Yourself Permission to Do the New Thing

  Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.💬 Episode SummaryHey sis. This week’s episode is a heart-to-heart. I’m showing up a little late (your girl’s flying solo on production), and I’m letting you know we’re taking a June break from full episodes.But this episode is the one if you’ve ever felt like you needed permission to enjoy your life. I talk about healing through joy, how play is part of reparenting, and how that self-doubt you feel isn’t truth—it’s programming.If you've been stuck in “who am I to…?” energy, this one’s your reminder that you don’t need permission. Just go.⏱️ Time-Stamped Chapters[01:55] Late But Here Why this episode dropped late and how juggling travel, RESOLVE, and podcasting is a lot—but I’m still showing up.[02:21] June Break Ahead Announcing the June hiatus and encouraging you to catch up on past episodes during this time.[02:50] Go Back and Listen Again The wisdom hits different the second time—revisit older episodes and notice what new truths show up.[03:19] Mulch & Memorial Day A quick life update: mulch delivery, gardening joy, and stepping into something new just for me.[04:09] This Week’s Topic: Permission This episode centers around giving yourself permission to do something new—something joyful and healing.[06:36] Recognizing Internalized Voices I name the internal voice of doubt and realize—it’s my mother’s. That programming still lingers, even during joy.[08:21] Joy Is Part of Healing Expression and play are not extra—they're medicine. Depression lifts when we start to express and explore joy.[10:49] Creating New Data Healing means gathering evidence through experience—doing things that build trust in yourself, even when it’s scary.[12:46] Redefining Without Permission When no one gave you the authority to be you, you’ve got to crown yourself. That’s where the grief and power collide.[14:13] From Doubt to Knowing The inner “I don’t know anything” voice is a lie. And we prove it wrong by doing the damn thing—again and again.[15:36] The Grief of Becoming Becoming yourself brings grief too—letting go of old identities that were never really yours to begin with.[16:55] What You Never Got Doing joyful things can feel humiliating when you’ve never had someone affirm your desires. That’s real—and it hurts.[17:53] Feel It to Heal It All those feelings you avoid? They surface through new experiences. That’s how healing works. It’s not optional.[18:41] You’re Not Out of Place Imposter syndrome isn’t about the room—it’s about old wounds. You’re not out of place. You’re just stretching.[20:02] Community Normalizes Your Joy Find your people. Whether it's gardening or anything else, being around folks who reflect your joy back to you matters.[21:29] Collect Evidence That You’re Enough Every new, joyful thing you try is proof that you’re not who they said you were. That’s how we break the cycle.[21:59] You’re Not Alone This healing journey can feel lonely. But I promise—you are not alone. This podcast is proof.[22:58] Do It Just for You Try something that feels good for you—even if it’s “frivolous.” Capitalism liClick here to learn more about my private coaching program.Support the showFollow me on IG @blackmotherwound

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• Ep 062: How to Keep Your Heart Open When You’ve Been Hurt So Much

  Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.***************************************How we can stay connected and work together!1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist2. Grab my free mini-course3. Work with me one-on-one***************************************Healing from deep wounds is never easy, especially when those wounds come from our closest relationships, like the one with our mother. It’s tempting to avoid the pain or push it aside, but real healing starts when we take a brave step to look deeper at our struggles.When we allow ourselves to feel sad, angry, or confused, we begin to understand what we need. This is when healing really starts. It is okay to feel pain and not pretend everything is fine. Taking care of the hurt child inside us is very important. This little part of us was hurt and needs love. When we give ourselves that love, we can begin to feel better.Everyone’s healing is different, but it always begins when we stop hiding our pain and start loving ourselves. That is when we can find real peace.In this episode, I talk about why healing can’t happen if we ignore our emotions. Many of us try to fix the outside without looking at what’s really going on inside. I share why it’s so important to express your feelings through words, art, movement, or whatever works for you. If you’ve ever felt unseen, like you’ve been carrying sadness without knowing why, this episode is for you. Let’s talk about the power of expression, creativity, and facing those big emotions head-on."You can only start to understand where you are and what needs to be healed in you when you decide to express in whatever way that is for you."– Jennifer ArniseTopics Covered:(00:00:00) Episode Snippet(00:00:20) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast(00:00:42) Last chance to join the “Resolve” healing class(00:01:44) My June summer break(00:04:05) Express yourself creatively(00:07:12) Face your big feelings(00:08:03) You cannot know enough(00:11:17) Your inner child needs love, not lessons(00:16:22) Focus on the root(00:20:00) Denying your inner child is a form of shaming her(00:22:36) Come back for her (00:24:10) Tell me podcast ideas(00:28:27) Be good to yourselfKey Takeaways: "The opposite of depression is not happiness, it's expression.""Doing your inner child reparenting work is directly aligned with tapping into those emotions.""If you're not dealing with your inner little girl's emotions, then you're not re-parenting and you're not healing."DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.Support the showFollow me on IG @blackmotherwound

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• Ep 061: The Trap of the Parentified Daughter

  Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.***************************************How we can stay connected and work together!1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist2. Grab my free mini-course3. Work with me one-on-one***************************************In every woman's life, there comes a point when she must confront the gap between who she had to be as a child and who she’s trying to become as an adult. Somewhere between these two selves lives a quiet tension of a little girl who carried too much and a grown woman who questions if she’s enough.We learn how to smile through pain, overachieve through exhaustion, and show up for others while secretly wondering who will show up for us. The world praises our strength but never asks about the weight. And now, in adulthood, that strength feels like both a badge of honor and a chain because while it helped us survive, it also taught us to silence our needs, minimize our dreams, and question our worth.The truth is, the nurturing and emotional validation that is often lacking in childhood shapes how we feel about ourselves as adults. It's that simple validation, like being told, "You're doing great," that builds confidence and self-trust. Without it, we’re left questioning ourselves even though we know how to manage a million things at once.In this episode, we talk about the difference between showing up as a grown woman and reacting from the little girl who never felt safe. I share how the Black mother wound can confuse your sense of self, especially if you were the first-born daughter who had to grow up too fast. This is an honest conversation about identity, responsibility, and how old survival patterns can still show up in adult life."The older we get, the more responsibility we get but we don't get more freedoms because we're still not trustworthy." – Jennifer ArniseTopics Covered:(00:00:00) Episode Snippet(00:00:13) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast(00:03:17) Facebook Marketplace(00:06:28) Why get a garden?(00:07:34) Are you a child or an adult?(00:09:11) What is a parentified child?(00:13:20) Made responsible but still not trustworthy(00:16:32) The power of just one positive statement(00:24:06) Book Recommendation: Overcoming Underearning (00:25:22) Elevate the little girl inside of you (00:26:55) Resolve the inner conflicts(00:28:27) Be good to yourselfKey Takeaways:“Write a note to that little girl… tell her how proud you are of her.”DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.Support the showFollow me on IG @blackmotherwound

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• Ep 060: Dealing with Mother’s Day When You Have a Mother Wound

  Hey! Click here to send me a message to tell me how much you love the podcast or suggest an episode topic.Ask me anything about healing your mother wound and I’ll answer it on the podcast. Click here to ask.***************************************How we can stay connected and work together!1. Join the RESOLVE course waitlist2. Grab my free mini-course3. Work with me one-on-one***************************************Mother's Day can feel like a minefield when your relationship with your mother has been painful or distant. Society tells us to celebrate with flowers and praise, but what if that’s not your truth? You don’t have to pretend. You don’t have to perform. You are allowed to be honest about how you feel.Instead of being swept up in the pressure and performance, start focusing on what’s real for you. This week, pay attention to what lifts you. Celebrate the people and the progress that remind you you’re loved, seen, and growing. Let your joy come from within, not from forced expectations.And if sadness shows up—let it. Feel it. Care for yourself with compassion, not shame. Healing doesn’t mean you never hurt. It means you know how to care for yourself when you do.This Mother’s Day, center yourself. You get to define what this day means to you now. And that, in itself, is powerful.In this episode, we talk about how to care for yourself before and during Mother’s Day, especially if your relationship with your mom is painful or complicated. I share why it’s important to be honest about how I really feel, stop telling fake stories, and stay grounded in my truth. Instead of forcing happiness or pretending everything’s okay, I offer real ways to comfort yourself, feel your feelings, and find joy in your own life. This is a gentle, honest conversation to help you stay grounded during a tough time.Topics Covered:(00:00:00) Episode Snippet(00:00:12) Welcome to The Black Mother Wound Podcast(00:04:24) Be honest about how you feel(00:05:59) Society can confuse your real feelings(00:07:35) Mine for good feelings(00:09:28) You create your feelings(00:20:31) The fantasy is your underdeveloped ego(00:22:54) Your responsibility is to you(00:23:42) Resolve doors are open(00:24:50) Fireside Chat QuestionKey Takeaways: “Healing really is about taking back control of your own mind.”DISCLAIMER: I am not a licensed psychologist, medical doctor, or health care professional and my services do not replace the care of psychologists, doctors or other healthcare professionals. All opinions expressed here are my own. If you feel you are in any danger of harming yourself please call 911. I am not providing health care, medical or nutritional therapy services, or attempting to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any physical, mental or emotional issue, disease or condition. All opinions are my own and based on my personal lived experience.Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blackmotherwound Click here to learn more about my private coaching program.Support the showFollow me on IG @blackmotherwound

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