Boundary or Threat? How to Set Limits Without Creating More Conflict—Especially With In-Laws
In this special episode of Dear Dr. Tracy, clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish sits down with her husband, Greg, to answer real, anonymous listener questions about mothers-in-law (MILs), in-law dynamics, holiday boundaries, and getting on the same page as a couple.
Drawing from her upcoming book, You, Your Husband, and His Mother (launching November 4), Dr. Tracy breaks down how to ask a partner to “take your side” (validation vs. action), set clear boundaries without disrespect, manage holiday expectations, and respond to subtle digs or manipulative comments—all while protecting the couple bond.
Listeners learn practical scripts and the VAULT Method (Values, Aspirations + nervous system awareness, Understanding, Longings, Taking Action) to move out of autopilot and into teamwork. Dr. Tracy and Greg cover fairness myths between families, FaceTime and visit expectations, nervous-system tools for dread and anxiety, how to avoid triangulation during sibling or extended-family conflict, and how to protect parenting choices (consent, food rules, body talk) with warmth and clarity. Whether someone is navigating mild tension or long-standing patterns, this episode offers research-informed, compassionate strategies to keep connection, repair, and co-created family traditions at the center—especially during the holidays.
Preorder my new book You, Your Husband, and His Mother and save your seat at my exclusive live coaching event!!
RESOURCES:
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
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How to Stop Being Defensive in Your Relationship: Couples Therapist Strategies for Better Communication
Defensiveness is one of the most common reasons couples get stuck in repetitive fights — but few people understand what’s actually driving it. In this episode, Clinical Psychologist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish explains the psychology of defensiveness, how shame and fear of rejection play a role, and the proven tools that help couples communicate without walls going up. Learn how to respond without reacting, build emotional safety, and start creating the kind of connection you really want.
Keywords: how to stop being defensive, couples communication skills, marriage advice podcast, defensiveness and shame, Gottman four horsemen, relationship repair, therapist tips for couples.
Preorder my new book and snag your seat to my EXCLUSIVE LIVE COACHING event! You, Your Husband, and His Mother
RESOURCES:
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
Calm: Save 40% off at calm.com/Tracy
KiwiCo: Save 50% off with code TRACY KiwiCo.Com
Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY
K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY
Quince Bedding: Free Shipping at quince.com/TRACY
Branch Basics: Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
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The VIRAL Sherlocked Thread: From Victim to Main Character Energy And All About Boundaries
From The Couch - Short hits, hot topics.
The I_am_sherlocked phenomenon has taken over Threads — but what’s really drawing us in isn’t just her posts, it’s what they represent.
From The Couch, I explore why we’re so captivated by someone unapologetically setting boundaries and saying no without guilt. We’ll unpack what this viral moment reveals about women’s exhaustion, people-pleasing, and the deep longing to take up space—especially in family dynamics with in-laws.
RESOURCES:
Preorder my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
Kiwico: Save 50% at kiwico.com and explore connection with your kids. Use code TRACY
Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY
K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY
Branch Basics: Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com
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Navigating Mother-in-Law Tension: Passive Aggression, Boundaries, Power Dynamics, and Repair
In Part 2 of my MIL book-launch series, I sit down with creator Janelle (@heyjanellemarie) to unpack “Daughter-in-Law Math,” the thousand paper-cut moments that erode trust, and the real power dynamics between mothers-in-law, sons, and couples.
We explore passive aggression, exclusion, gossip, and double standards—plus practical tools for the holiday season: code words, aligned exits, and repair that actually rebuilds safety.
If you’re navigating mother-in-law tension, boundaries, or feeling invisible in your own marriage, this episode gives you scripts, strategy, and hope.
✨ PREORDER EXCLUSIVE!! ✨Preorder You, Your Husband, and His Mother today and receive:A live coaching session with Dr. Tracy where you can ask your questions directly plus a bonus question guide with powerful prompts to help you start making changes right away.
Your relationship with your in-laws doesn’t have to divide your marriage.
Learn how to set boundaries, break old patterns, and build a stronger bond with your partner while creating the relationships you want with extended family members.
RESOURCES:
Preorder my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
KiwiCo: Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com code TRACY
Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY
K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY
Quince Bedding: Free Shipping at quince.com/TRACY
Branch Basics: Use code TRACY15 to save 15% off your Premium Starter Kit
Vionic Shoes: Use code TRACY for 15% off at https://www.vionicshoes.com
Mint Mobile: Just $15 a month with mintmobile.com/TRACY
AirDoctorPro: Save $300 with code TRACY at https://airdoctorpro.com
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‘I Just Want My Mom and My Wife to Be Happy’: The Real Conflict Beneath That Wish
In this From the Couch mini-session, Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert Dr. Tracy explores one of the most common conflicts couples face: when a husband says, “I just want my mom and my wife to get along.”
Dr. Tracy unpacks why this well-intentioned desire often backfires, leading to tension, invalidation, and emotional disconnection in the marriage. Drawing from her nearly 20 years of experience and the insights from her upcoming book, You, Your Husband, and His Mother, she explains how couples can hold two truths at once—valuing family while honoring healthy boundaries.
If you’ve ever felt caught between wanting family harmony and protecting your marriage, this short episode offers the clarity and compassion you need to find balance.
📘 Pre-order Dr. Tracy’s upcoming book, You, Your Husband, and His Mother, for a step-by-step guide to navigating in-law relationships using her 5-step VAULT Method.
RESOURCES:
Preorder my new book! You, Your Husband, and His Mother
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Discover your relationship negative cycle with my free quiz: Take it here
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions
Build better connection and feel close starting today. Join the 30 Days to Us Challenge
LINKS:
Better Help: Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/TRACY
K12 Powered Schools: Learn more at k12.com/TRACY
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, this podcast is your place for honest, no-nonsense guidance on love, intimacy, boundaries, and communication. With over 18 years of experience, Dr. Tracy brings a mix of clinical expertise, evidence-based research, and personal insights as a wife and mother to help you break unhealthy patterns and build stronger connections. Each week, Dr. Tracy answers the questions so many of us have but don’t always know how to ask—about resentment, desire, mental load, and how to truly feel like a team with your partner. She’s joined by fellow experts, real couples, and her husband Greg, who offers a down-to-earth perspective on the struggles so many relationships face. If you’re ready for actionable tools and heartfelt conversations that will help you create a relationship that feels fulfilling, this podcast is for you.
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