Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, re...
In this episode, Dr. Tracy and her husband, Greg, tackle a communication struggle that so many couples face—understanding why saying "I'm afraid to tell you because of your reaction" backfires. It’s a fine line, and crossing it can quickly turn a conversation into an argument.
Dr. Tracy shares a personal experience that sparked this discussion, including a thought-provoking comment from one of her social media posts that made her pause and reflect: Was she explaining her perspective, or was she being defensive? From there, she and Greg break down how context, emotional intelligence, and tone shape our responses—and why so many of us misinterpret each other in the heat of the moment.
They also explore:
- The subtle (but crucial) difference between sharing vs. putting up a defensive wall. (e.g., when you say "I'm afraid to tell you because of your reaction")
- How social media has blurred the lines of healthy communication by over-labeling behaviors.
- Practical strategies to recognize and shift defensiveness in real-time.
- The power of slowing down, validating emotions, and staying connected even in difficult conversations.
This episode will leave you rethinking the way you respond to your partner—and help you approach communication with more clarity and intention. If you've ever struggled with feeling unheard, misunderstood, or frustrated in your relationship, this conversation is a must-listen.
Hit play now and share this with someone who needs to hear it.
LINKS:
Join the popular More Than Roommates challenge and feel more connected in ten days
Download my free Defensive Script Guide
Join Acorns and start saving for your kids: https://acornsearly.com/tracy
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39:18
Why Asking for Romance Feels So Hard (And How to Fix It)
Have you ever felt lonely in your own relationship... longing for romance but afraid to ask for it?
You’re not alone.
So many of us crave connection, but the fear of rejection, disappointment, or even feeling like a burden keeps us silent.
In this episode, Dr. Tracy and her husband Greg dive deep into the emotional weight of longing for more while holding back our true desires. They unpack why asking for romance can feel so vulnerable, how past experiences shape our fears, and the subtle ways resentment builds when needs go unmet.
Dr. Tracy and Greg discuss the steps you can take to break free from this cycle.
This episode offers simple, actionable shifts to express your needs without guilt or fear.
Because you deserve love, effort, and connection in your relationship.
Ready to create more romance in your relationship? Join my popular 10-Day More Than Roommates challenge! Created for the busiest couple, each day you'll receive three exercises to help you feel close and more connected. I won't tell you to kiss your partner, but by the end of the challenge, you'll want to kiss your partner.
LINKS:
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
Heal old wounds and build healthy interdependence with my book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” - order here!
Learn more about ACORNS: acornsearly.com/tracy
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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1:09:23
Are You Really ‘Unhealed’… or Is It Just Your Nervous System? A Polyvagal Perspective on Triggers
Have you ever been told that if something still triggers you, it means you haven’t healed? This idea oversimplifies trauma, healing, and how the nervous system actually works.
In this episode, Dr. Tracy is breaking down why triggers aren’t just signs of unresolved wounds but natural responses from your nervous system—and why healing isn’t about never being triggered, but about recovering faster.
We’ll explore:
What Polyvagal Theory teaches us about triggers and emotional reactions
How your vagal brake helps regulate stress—and what happens when it’s weak
Why some triggers come from systemic or relational harm, not just personal trauma
What resilience really means for the nervous system
Through real client stories and my own experiences, you’ll learn how to stop blaming yourself for your reactions and start working with your nervous system, not against it.
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by triggers or questioned whether you’re “healed enough,” this episode will give you the insight and tools to navigate emotional responses with more self-awareness, compassion, and resilience.
Press play to learn how to reframe your triggers, regulate your nervous system, and move through life with greater ease.
Links:
To grab the books and resources I mention in today's episode:
Books mentioned in this episode
For Therapists and Coaches
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!
Challenge the stories you tell yourself: Download my free guide!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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45:06
Why You Don't Want to Win Your Next Conversation - with Jefferson Fisher
Most people approach arguments with one goal in mind: winning. But what if winning an argument actually means losing something far more important—connection?
In this episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with Jefferson Fisher, a trial lawyer and viral communication expert, to explore why people approach conflict the wrong way. Jefferson shares practical strategies that will help you stay in control, reduce defensiveness, and shift from a "you vs. me" mindset to an "us vs. the problem" approach.
In this episode, they discuss:
Why winning an argument often damages the relationship
A simple phrase that instantly de-escalates conflict
How to say difficult things without fear or avoidance
A key mindset shift that transforms the way couples communicate
For anyone who has felt frustrated by recurring fights or struggles to be heard in their relationship, this episode offers game-changing insights. Communication doesn’t have to feel like a battle—learn how to argue better, not harder.
Grab Jefferson Fisher's New Book "The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk more"
Follow Jefferson Fisher on Instagram
Links:
Ready to deepen your connection? Download my 100 Questions!
Want your questions answered on the show? Submit them here!
You can now order my new book “I Didn’t Sign Up for This” here!
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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47:10
After The Honeymoon Stage: What Your Relationship Needs Now
The butterflies have faded, the sparks feel dim, and now… it’s like you’re just coexisting. You love each other, but your relationship feels more like roommates than romantic partners. Sound familiar?
In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg dive into what really happens after the honeymoon stage—why passion shifts, why connection starts to feel harder, and why so many couples struggle with feeling distant as life gets busier.
If you’ve ever thought:
Why doesn’t it feel the same anymore?
Are we falling out of love, or is this normal?
How do we get back what we had?
This episode is for you. You’ll learn:
✔️ The biggest misconceptions about love after the honeymoon stage.
✔️ Why feeling like “roommates” doesn’t mean you’re broken—it means you’re human.
✔️ Practical ways to bring back connection, even when life feels overwhelming.
If you’ve been craving more intimacy, laughter, and closeness in your relationship, hit play now.
Podcast Episodes Mentioned:
From Escalation to Calm
Stop Sidestepping Conflict
Links:
Free Guide: Change Your Stories, Change Your Relationship
100 Questions to Deepen Your Connection
30 Days to Us - All New Connection Challenge
More Than Roommates Challenge
Relationship Repair Program
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Welcome to Dear Dr. Tracy, the podcast that helps you navigate the everyday challenges of relationships, marriage, and parenting with expert advice and real, relatable conversations. Hosted by clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, this podcast is your place for honest, no-nonsense guidance on love, intimacy, boundaries, and communication. With over 18 years of experience, Dr. Tracy brings a mix of clinical expertise, evidence-based research, and personal insights as a wife and mother to help you break unhealthy patterns and build stronger connections. Each week, Dr. Tracy answers the questions so many of us have but don’t always know how to ask—about resentment, desire, mental load, and how to truly feel like a team with your partner. She’s joined by fellow experts, real couples, and her husband Greg, who offers a down-to-earth perspective on the struggles so many relationships face. If you’re ready for actionable tools and heartfelt conversations that will help you create a relationship that feels fulfilling, this podcast is for you.
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