Dear Dr. Tracy

With the release of their new joint memoir, I’m Going to Break Your Heart: A Rock N Roll Love Story, and their upcoming fall tour, this conversation with Raine Maida and Chantal Kreviazuk feels especially timely to revisit.In this intimate conversation, Dr. Tracy sits down with the Canadian musicians and longtime partners to talk about the real work of long-term love: marriage, family, therapy, creativity, conflict, repair, and the choice to keep turning toward each other through the messier seasons of life.Together, they explore the story behind their documentary I’m Going to Break Your Heart the “burnt chicken” moment that revealed deeper invisible labor dynamics, and how everyday micro-heartbreaks can quietly shape connection over time. They also talk about maximizer / minimizer patterns, men’s resistance to therapy, the power of reframing therapy as coaching, and why interdependence, not perfection, is the foundation of lasting partnership.You’ll hear how Raine and Chantal use tools like CPR (Catch, Pause, Repair), eye-gazing, and intentional autonomy to stay connected through parenting, touring, hormonal shifts, and the evolving seasons of a decades-long relationship.If you’ve ever felt alone in the messiness of marriage, this episode is a reminder that even the strongest relationships are built through rupture, repair, honesty, and the willingness to keep choosing each other.

New Book: I’m Going to Break Your Heart: A Rock N Roll Love Story.I’m Going to Break Your Heart / Break Your Heart TourI’m Going to Break Your Heart.Learn more about Raine Maida and his band Our Lady Peace
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Major life transitions can make even strong couples feel disconnected, reactive, and unlike themselves.In this episode, Dr. Tracy and Greg record from their new office after moving homes and reflect on what this season taught them about stress, partnership, and staying connected through change. From buying, selling, staging, packing, moving, and settling in, they talk about how stress can amplify old stories, trigger protective patterns, and make your partner look like the problem when really, the transition itself is putting pressure on both of you.Dr. Tracy and Greg explore why it helps to assume positive intent, ask “What’s best for us?” instead of “Who’s right?”, and remember that different does not always mean wrong. They also talk about the importance of emotional check-ins, small rituals, involving kids in transition, and planning for the aftermath, because the stress does not magically end on moving day.Whether you are moving, welcoming a baby, navigating a health change, starting something new, or coming out of a major life shift, this episode is a reminder not to define your relationship by who you both are on the hardest days.

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What do you do when your partner keeps bidding for connection at the worst possible times, or in ways that feel irritating, inconvenient, or hard to receive?In this episode, Dr. Tracy answers a listener question that starts with annoying bids for connection, but quickly reveals something deeper: emotional safety. Because sometimes the issue is not the bid itself. It is the history underneath it. Your partner may be reaching for closeness, but if your vulnerability has been dismissed, exposed, used against you, or left unprotected in family conflict, that bid can feel less like connection and more like a request to open up where it has not felt safe.Dr. Tracy explores the difference between connection and emotional safety, why avoidance is not neutral, and how passivity in conflict can leave one partner carrying the emotional weight alone. She also shares what repair can look like when trust has been damaged: naming the pattern, asking for consistent follow-through, and creating a structure for returning to hard conversations instead of making promises just to end discomfort.Because your partner’s bid may be an attempt to connect, and you are not required to offer vulnerability where vulnerability has repeatedly been mishandled.

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Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.

Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠

One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.

Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.

🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER?

Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you.

Grab my first book I Didn’t Sign Up for This

Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠

Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions

Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..

Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here.

Is your partner defensive? Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.

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One of the hardest parts of mother-in-law conflict is that the thing you want most, accountability, can become the very thing keeping you stuck.In this short episode, Dr. Tracy talks to the daughter-in-law who has tried to explain, repair, clarify, and get her mother-in-law to finally understand the hurt she caused. It makes sense to want accountability, ownership, and responsibility. But when someone repeatedly shows that they do not have the capacity or willingness to offer it, continuing to chase that acknowledgment can leave your peace in someone else’s hands.Dr. Tracy explores the shift from “How do I get her to understand me?” to “Knowing what I know now, how do I want to show up?” Because acceptance is not approval, and it is not pretending the hurt did not happen. It is seeing reality clearly enough to make grounded decisions about your boundaries, your access, your family gatherings, your partner’s support, and the relationship you want to have with yourself.

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Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠

🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER?

Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you.

One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.

Grab my first book I Didn’t Sign Up for This

Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.

Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.

Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠

Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions

Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..

Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here.

Is your partner defensive? Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.

Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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Why does someone who longs for closeness often come across as critical, demanding, or angry?In this episode, Dr. Tracy looks at the other side of the defensiveness cycle: the partner who brings things up, reaches for connection, pushes for repair, and then gets labelled as “too angry,” “too much,” “controlling,” or “a nag.” But underneath that criticism is often something much more tender: a protest against disconnection.Dr. Tracy explores why criticism can become a nervous system strategy, especially when someone has learned that if they do not push, nothing changes. She explains how the pursuit for connection can turn into over-explaining, piling on examples, sending more texts, or trying to force reassurance in the moment, and why that often pushes a withdrawing or defensive partner even further away.This conversation is not about blaming the partner who pursues. It is about understanding the cycle, naming the deeper longing underneath the anger, and learning to ask: "Can I stay connected to myself while I wait for my partner?"

📎 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

Be Connected — 24/7 relationship support, including Dr. Tracy AI trained on Tracy's clinical work. Get real answers in the moment, even when your partner won't do the work with you.

One spot left for a couples intensive with Dr. Tracy — a 2-day deep dive designed for couples who are stuck and not seeing results from weekly therapy. In-person or she travels to you.

Grab my first book I Didn’t Sign Up for This

Get your question answered here on the podcast. Submit them here.

🔗 WANT TO GO DEEPER?

Understand what you need to repair in your relationship. 2 minutes. Your partner will know exactly what to say.

Build better connection and feel close starting today. ⁠⁠Join the⁠ ⁠⁠30 Days to Us Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Read the book: ⁠⁠⁠You, Your Husband, and His Mother⁠⁠⁠

Free Resource: Challenge Your Assumptions and Perceptions

Get exclusive 1:1 support with Dr. Tracy. Find out more here..

Not sure where to start? Find your relationship's negative cycle — free quiz here.

Is your partner defensive? Download my FREE scripts to respond to a defensive partner.

Ready to deepen your connection?⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Download my 100 Questions⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

📲 FOLLOW DR. TRACY

Subscribe to You Tube

Follow on Instagram ⁠⁠⁠

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