Hey White Women

• Episode 40 | Is Whinnie the Pooh A WS Cult?

  In this candid and wide-ranging conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young unpacks how cult dynamics shape everyday life—from the military to motherhood, from corporate jargon to childhood punishments over “scowling at the Word of God.” She and Rebecca dig into the subtle and overt ways white supremacy trains white women into compliance and calls it safety. Daniella also breaks down the coded messages in American media—including her darkly hilarious theory that Winnie the Pooh is a cult. Through stories of her upbringing, military career, and anti-racism work, Daniella helps listeners understand how deeply entrenched programming operates—and how to begin deconstructing it. The episode invites white women to stop waiting for a dramatic “battle vs. brunch” moment and instead get honest about the slow erosion of freedom already underway. Haley, the show’s producer, also jumps in to share a disturbing moment that made them stop letting their son watch Winnie the Pooh, connecting racism in children’s media to the broader themes of the episode. Connect with Rebecca at: The White Woman Whisperer Website   The White Woman Whisperer Patreon   The White Woman Whisperer TikTok   Connect with Daniella at: You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured For more info on me: Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8 Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0  Instagram:  https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_  Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8 Fundraiser for Culting of America book publishing https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJ 🔑 Key Takeaways Privilege is most clearly understood when it’s about something like eyesight—something not politicized but deeply unequal in terms of access. “Winnie the Pooh is a cult”: Each character in the Hundred Acre Wood mirrors a role in coercive systems—Tigger as cult leader, Rabbit as enabler, Eeyore as the depressed second-gen scapegoat. White women are often trained to wait for either 'brunch' or 'battle'—but this binary thinking ignores how authoritarianism creeps in quietly. “Cotton-picking” language still shows up in kids’ media—revealing how embedded racist ideologies are in even the most innocent-seeming content. Resting bitch face, attitude policing, and productivity metrics are all part of controlling systems—whether in cults, corporations, or culture. The military is not a monolith: Daniella challenges assumptions about who serves, who gets platformed, and who gets believed. Accountability means being wrong out loud—and using your own moments of unlearning as tools for others. The goal isn’t just to de-center men or whiteness—it’s to center something better.   Chapters 0:00 The Privilege of Vision 07:10 Cultural Reflections on Perception and Behavior 10:08 Media, Representation, and Racial Dynamics 12:44 The Impact of Language and Cultural Narratives 15:46 The Role of Authority and Leadership in Communities 18:50 Brunch Culture and Social Activism 21:22 Navigating White Privilege and Social Responsibility 24:21 The Dynamics of Protest and Representation 27:12 Emergent Strategies in Social Movements 33:35 Awakening to Systemic Issues 34:59 Preparing for Difficult Conversations 37:18 The Military and Representation 39:54 Understanding Power Dynamics 41:46 The Role of Women in Patriarchy 44:57 The Impact of Leadership on Perception 46:39 Recognizing Patterns of Abuse 49:14 The Importance of Acknowledging Mistakes 52:25 Navigating Conversations on Identity 55:19 Empathy and Understanding in Activism 01:02:18 Understanding Neurodivergence and Personal Growth 01:04:48 The Dynamics of Tough Love and Communication 01:08:41 Attention as Currency in Social Dynamics 01:11:44 Building Unique Markets and Personal Branding 01:16:18 Navigating Identity and Societal Expectations 01:19:31 Skills Acquired from Cult Experiences 01:23:37 Resistance and Survival Skills in Adversity 01:30:14 The Legacy of Cults and Historical Figures 01:32:54 Patriarchy and Hierarchical Structures 01:35:17 Surviving Trauma and the Importance of Community 01:38:06 Understanding Human Experiences Across Cultures 01:40:43 Navigating Power Dynamics in Conversations 01:43:41 The Role of Privilege and Proof of Purpose Produced by Haley Phillips

  --------  

  1:54:13

  --------

  1:54:13
• Episode 39 | Living Rooms are for LIVING

  In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack what happens when white belief in institutional fairness collides with the lived reality of systemic injustice. Daniella reflects on a moment of betrayal in traffic court and how it cracked open her assumptions about justice, privilege, and whiteness. The conversation weaves through topics like the myth of rule-following as protection, the military's blending of cultural vernaculars, and the unique disorientation white women face when systems stop working for them. They also explore how white women’s fear of “doing it wrong”—especially around cultural appropriation—can become a form of self-centered paralysis that stalls genuine connection and accountability. From craft-covered couches to the politics of "fancy" china, the episode moves fluidly between the personal and political, ultimately calling for white women to stop asking for permission and start listening, intervening, and acting with intention. Connect with Rebecca at: The White Woman Whisperer Website   The White Woman Whisperer Patreon   The White Woman Whisperer TikTok   Connect with Daniella at: You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured For more info on me: Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8 Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0  Instagram:  https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_  Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8 Fundraiser for Culting of America book publishing https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJ Takeaways Daniella reflects on her upbringing in Mexico and the differing perceptions of law enforcement compared to the U.S. The conversation highlights the systemic issues faced by Black individuals in America, drawing parallels to Daniella's experiences. Daniella shares a personal story about a court case that illustrates biases in the legal system. The discussion touches on the concept of privilege and how it affects perceptions of justice. Daniella expresses frustration over the entitlement some feel in the justice system based on their background. The conversation explores the complexities of cultural appropriation versus appreciation. Daniella emphasizes the importance of understanding cultural influences in a respectful manner. The role of white women in discussions about race and privilege is examined, highlighting the need for allyship. The impact of social media on amplifying diverse voices and narratives is acknowledged. The conversation concludes with a call for more authentic storytelling that includes diverse perspectives. Listening to Black women is crucial for understanding cultural narratives. The concept of the 'every woman' can broaden perspectives on literature and experiences. Mentorship plays a significant role in personal growth and understanding. Cultural dynamics shape individual identities and experiences. Peeling back layers of identity can reveal authentic selves. Narcissism is a necessary part of self-discovery and expression. Performance can be a powerful tool for identity exploration. Community engagement fosters connection and understanding. Navigating cultural sensitivities requires awareness and humility. The burden of perfectionism can hinder personal growth and authenticity. Chapters 00:00 Cultural Perspectives on Law Enforcement and Trust 02:50 Privilege, Justice, and Systemic Inequities 05:47 The Complexity of Cultural Appropriation 08:45 Navigating Identity and Language in Diverse Cultures 11:37 The Impact of Conditional Love on Relationships 14:31 Redefining Home and Community Spaces 17:34 Fairy Tales and Societal Expectations 24:17 The Charm of Storytelling 25:07 Reimagining Classic Tales 26:29 The Quest for Authentic Representation 28:06 Cultural Appropriation vs. Appreciation 30:06 Navigating Whiteness and Black Voices 31:56 The Role of White Women in Amplifying Black Voices 34:08 The Importance of Listening to Black Women 35:56 Breaking Down Barriers in Storytelling 37:58 The Journey of Self-Discovery 40:41 Embracing Authenticity and Vulnerability 44:53 The Power of Community and Connection 51:13 Navigating Cultural Sensitivity 53:46 Understanding Community Dynamics 58:04 The Complexity of White Womanhood 01:01:24 The Burden of Perfectionism 01:08:03 The Power of Community and Spirituality Produced by Haley Phillips   

  --------  

  1:14:42

  --------

  1:14:42
• Episode 38 | Growth Is Uncomfortable

  In this powerful conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca unpack how systems—from the military to corporate culture to parenting ideologies—often rely on cult-like tactics to demand obedience, erase individuality, and sell comfort as a virtue. Together, they examine the roles of love bombing, future faking, and authoritarian control in everyday life, and ask what it means to reclaim personal autonomy after indoctrination. We talk about what happens when you stop waiting for permission, why “just doing what you're told” is a dangerous lesson to teach children, and how spontaneous joy can be its own form of resistance. Whether you’re unpacking your own experience in high-control spaces or just trying to navigate late-stage capitalism without losing yourself, this episode is a resonant, no-holds-barred deep dive into the systems that shape us—and how to start unlearning them. Connect with Rebecca at: The White Woman Whisperer Website   The White Woman Whisperer Patreon   The White Woman Whisperer TikTok   Connect with Daniella at: You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured For more info on me: Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8 Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/3V6GK6k / KnittingCultLady Instagram:  https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_  Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8 Takeaways Discomfort is not a crisis—growth often requires sitting with uncertainty instead of seeking immediate solutions. Future faking and love bombing are common tactics in cults, corporations, and toxic relationships—and recognizing them can help reclaim autonomy. Obedience-based parenting trains children to perform compliance rather than develop critical thinking and emotional safety. Systems of control thrive in chaos—cult-like groups gain power when people are vulnerable, overwhelmed, or craving certainty. Spontaneous joy and bodily autonomy are radical acts, especially for those recovering from high-control environments. Not all mentorship is healthy—if you’re seeking someone to tell you what to do with your life, you might be looking for a cult leader, not a guide. Legitimacy doesn't equal goodness—the fact that an institution or belief is normalized doesn’t mean it’s healthy or ethical. Children and survivors are often the first to sense danger—trusting their perceptions can be a powerful tool for breaking cycles of harm. Everyone has an agenda—even self-help creators. Ask: What are they getting out of sharing this with me? Chapters 00:00 Navigating Change and Comfort Zones 06:57 The Role of Authority and Decision-Making 12:55 Exploring Minority Cults and Their Impact 18:35 Parenting Styles and Cult Influence 21:47 The Language of Cults and Control 24:54 Self-Help and Personal Empowerment 27:45 Finding Your Path and Making Choices 31:03 The Necessity of Mental Toughness 32:12 The Military's Role in Trauma 33:38 Recruitment and Deception in the Military 35:16 The Dangers of Transparency and Information Scarcity 36:51 The Hindsight Bias in Cult Awareness 38:27 Signs of Childhood Trauma 39:45 The Impact of Parental Awareness 42:02 The Absence of Joy in Cult Upbringing 43:41 Cultural Differences in Expressing Joy 45:45 The Control of Spontaneity 47:40 Fear and Control in Parenting 49:24 The Flaws in Parenting Philosophy 51:23 Misinterpretation of Child Behavior 53:42 The Challenge of Non-Obedience in Parenting 56:11 The Dangers of Unquestioning Obedience 58:16 The Importance of Being Present 59:40 The Agenda Behind Self-Help Narratives 01:02:30 Understanding Incentives in Self-Help and Coaching 01:05:29 The Role of Content Creators and Their Motivations 01:08:18 Exploring Cult-like Structures in Parenting and Religion 01:11:17 The Impact of Militarization on Identity and Culture 01:13:54 Deconstructing Whiteness and Finding Individual Identity Produced by Haley Phillips

  --------  

  1:22:46

  --------

  1:22:46
• Episode 37 | Are Red-Heads Black?

  In this episode of Hey White Women, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca dive into the layered and surprising discourse around a viral TikTok trend that claimed “all redheads are Black.” What starts as a joke becomes a powerful lens for unpacking themes of othering, cultural belonging, and the danger of conformity in white-dominant spaces. The hosts explore how redheaded individuals are often dehumanized through humor, hypersexualization, and alienation—even as whiteness shields them from systemic racism. This conversation becomes a springboard into deeper critiques of whiteness, rule-making, and the cult-like control of conformity—from school dress codes to toxic masculinity to AI panic. Drawing on personal stories, historical context, and biting humor, Rebecca and Daniella unpack the invisible hierarchies that shape white culture and challenge listeners to rethink privilege, identity, and agency. Plus, a shout-out to red velvet cupcakes and a few choice words for "busy business boys." Connect with Rebecca at: The White Woman Whisperer Website   The White Woman Whisperer Patreon   The White Woman Whisperer TikTok   Connect with Daniella at: You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured For more info on me: Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8 Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/3V6GK6k / KnittingCultLady Instagram:  https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_  Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8 Takeaways A TikTok trend sparked discussions about the identity of redheads and their experiences. Redheads often feel isolated and misunderstood, similar to experiences in the Black community. Community acceptance is crucial for marginalized groups, including redheads. Conversations about racism require understanding and listening to those affected. White women have a unique role in addressing racism and supporting marginalized voices. Rules and standards in society can create unnecessary barriers and oppression. Diversity in appearance should be embraced and celebrated. Volunteering requirements can disproportionately affect marginalized groups. The future of work is changing, and traditional standards may not apply anymore. Don't argue with conservative men; they have their agenda. Earning respect is about consistent quality, not credentials. Competency checking often comes from men; women are less likely to question without context. Engaging with narcissism offers no benefit; they seek control. Reframing questions can shift the conversation dynamics. Community and connection are vital for healing and support. Creators don't owe anyone content; entitlement is misplaced. Mistakes can drive engagement and virality in content. Unique perspectives are valuable; competition is a myth in creativity. Charity doesn't replace systemic change; we need to address root causes. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Its Purpose 07:16 The Intersection of Race and Hair Color 10:31 Understanding the Role of Community and Belonging 14:32 The Impact of Cultural Differences on Identity 18:35 The Role of Rules and Norms in Society 23:51 Conservatism and Resistance to Change 27:50 Challenging Traditional Professionalism 28:59 Breaking the Mold: Success in Non-Traditional Topics 30:19 The Importance of Self-Belief 31:51 Navigating Expectations and Opportunities 34:18 The Myth of Meritocracy 36:25 The Illusion of Choice and Agency 37:48 The Cost of Conformity 39:26 The Fear of Losing Privilege 40:25 The Pressure of Proving Oneself 42:23 The Evolution of Skills in a Changing World 44:47 The Relevance of Traditional Skills 47:23 Cultivating Independence After Leaving a Cult 49:24 The Paradox of Equality in Standards 51:58 Earning Respect vs. Proving Worth 55:49 Gender Dynamics in Competency Checking 57:58 Engaging with Trolls and Narcissism 01:00:49 Reframing Conversations and Accountability 01:04:47 The Entitlement of Online Audiences 01:08:37 The Pressure of Perfection in Content Creation 01:12:15 Building Community Over Competition 01:16:09 Embracing Unique Value in Creative Work 01:21:17 Embracing Unique Value 01:25:41 Challenging Ownership and Distribution 01:29:41 Radical Self-Acceptance and Identity 01:33:14 Healing Before Helping 01:37:32 The Power of Shared Experiences Produced by Haley Phillips  

  --------  

  1:40:16

  --------

  1:40:16
• Episode 36 | Growth Before Activism

  In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca engage in a deep conversation about the complexities of white supremacy, the importance of listening to Black voices, and the need for white women to confront their own roles in social justice movements. They explore hypothetical scenarios regarding protests, the significance of community, and the dangers of ignoring the perspectives of marginalized groups. The discussion emphasizes the necessity of personal growth and genuine engagement in anti-racism work, while also addressing the cyclical nature of blame and the illusion of safety in activism.   Connect with Rebecca at: The White Woman Whisperer Website   The White Woman Whisperer Patreon   The White Woman Whisperer TikTok   Connect with Daniella at: You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured For more info on me: Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8 Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/3V6GK6k / KnittingCultLady Instagram:  https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_  Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8   Takeaways Deconstructing white supremacy is essential for social justice. White women must confront their roles in activism. Listening to Black voices is crucial in conversations about race. Community and connection are vital for sustainable movements. The absence of Black women in spaces indicates danger. Protests should not be performative but rooted in genuine change. The tipping point for white America is yet to be reached. Excusing harmful behavior perpetuates systemic issues. Personal growth is integral to anti-racism work. Building relationships is key to understanding and change.   Chapters 00:00 Introduction to the Conversation on White Supremacy 02:03 Hypothetical Protests and White Women's Reactions 07:43 Listening to Black Voices in Conversations 11:36 The Dangers of Rhetorical Questions 15:42 The Canary in the Coal Mine Analogy 18:41 Historical Context and Urgency in Activism 21:19 Deconstructing Whiteness and Community 28:41 The Illusion of Stability in Society 29:27 The Complexity of Protests and Responses 32:10 The Tipping Point of Social Movements 34:57 Understanding Agency and Responsibility 37:57 Historical Context of Power Dynamics 40:43 The Role of Community and Relationships 43:42 Reimagining Systems of Support 46:22 The Importance of Personal Accountability 49:19 Building Safe Spaces for Dialogue   Produced by Haley Phillips  

  --------  

  54:04

  --------

  54:04

More Society & Culture podcasts

Trending Society & Culture podcasts

About Hey White Women