Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca explore how white womanhood functions as a powerful cultural and political identity within American systems of power. The conversation examines how whiteness, gender, and class intersect to produce both vulnerability and authority, and how white women are often positioned as both victims and enforcers within oppressive structures. Together, they unpack how safety narratives, respectability politics, and emotional performances have historically been weaponized to uphold racial hierarchies while obscuring class struggle. The episode ultimately reframes white womanhood not as an individual moral failure, but as a socially engineered role that can be consciously unlearned through accountability, solidarity, and a deeper understanding of structural power.
Connect with Rebecca: 
https://www.whitewomanwhisperer.com
https://www.patreon.com/whitewomanwhisperer
https://www.tiktok.com/@whitewomanwhisperer
Connect with Daniella at:
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Website
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Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young
From Bookshop.org

Autographed 

UnAMERICAN Videobook

Key Takeaways
White womanhood is not just an identity but a socially constructed role tied to power, safety, and moral authority.
White women are often positioned simultaneously as vulnerable victims and as agents of racial control.
Narratives of "safety" and "protection" have historically justified violence and exclusion.
Respectability politics and emotional performance can function as tools of social control.
Class struggle is frequently obscured by racialized gender narratives that divide potential solidarity.
Whiteness often operates invisibly, making it harder to interrogate than overt forms of oppression.
Individual "good intentions" are insufficient without structural awareness and accountability.
Deconstructing white womanhood requires examining both personal identity and systemic incentives.
Solidarity across race and class requires confronting uncomfortable truths about complicity.
Liberation is framed not as guilt or shame, but as a conscious rejection of inherited roles.
Chapters
00:00 The Intersection of Professionalism and Racism
02:47 Cultural Dynamics and Social Scripts
05:46 Deconstructing White Womanhood
08:42 The Role of White Women in Social Justice
11:35 Understanding Safety and Proximity to Whiteness
14:08 Healing Social Infections
16:48 Revolution and the Language of War
19:59 The Impact of Rhetoric on Violence
23:02 Understanding Community and Individual Responsibility
25:45 The Complexity of Activism and Involvement
28:39 Healing and Reckoning in Social Justice
33:04 The Process of Deconstruction and Forgiveness
36:31 The Role of White Women in Social Change
43:23 Dancing in War Zones: A Coping Mechanism
45:07 The Impact of Military Culture on Personal Expression
47:02 Understanding Violence: Emotional vs. Physical
48:09 The Role of Whiteness in Social Justice
49:24 Navigating Privilege and Responsibility
51:53 Creativity in Activism: Breaking the Mold
53:15 Learning from History: The Importance of Reflection
55:15 Confronting the American Dream: A Call to Action
56:31 The Burden of Awareness: What Comes Next?
58:57 The Dangers of Escapism in Activism
01:00:18 The Importance of Staying and Fighting
01:01:56 The Cost of Ignorance: A Call for Civic Engagement
01:03:59 Embracing Complexity in Social Change
Produced by Haley Phillips

In this episode, Daniella is joined by White Woman Whisperer for a wide-ranging, unflinching conversation about whiteness, community, deconstruction, and political responsibility. Using current events, historical context, and personal experience, they explore why white Americans, especially white women, struggle to form collective resistance, how cult dynamics show up in liberalism and patriotism, and why deconstruction often feels like loss before it becomes liberation. The conversation challenges performative allyship, critiques victimhood narratives, and emphasizes that real change requires sustained discomfort, relational courage, and a willingness to lose certainty, status, and sometimes relationships.
Event Links: 
https://www.mobilize.us/indivisibleturningthetables/event/884215/ 
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/culting-of-america-book-launch-party-in-college-park-md-january-20th-tickets-1410603155009 
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/nyc-event-for-the-culting-of-america-tickets-1979332610119?aff=ebdsoporgprofile
Rebecca's Links: 
https://www.whitewomanwhisperer.com 
https://www.patreon.com/whitewomanwhisperer
https://www.tiktok.com/@whitewomanwhisperer
 
Connect with Daniella at:
Daniella's Patreon
TikTok
Instagram 
Website
Youtube
KnittingCultLady Store
 
Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young
From Bookshop.org

Autographed 

UnAMERICAN Videobook

 
Key Takeaways
White America lacks a cohesive community identity, which makes collective resistance and accountability difficult.



White women are often socialized into victimhood narratives that discourage agency and action.



Deconstruction is not just intellectual; it involves grief, loss of pride, and loss of certainty.



Cult dynamics show up in nationalism, liberal purity politics, and demands for perfection.



Performative action provides emotional relief but avoids real responsibility.



Resistance requires grounding, relationship-building, and long-term commitment, not savior figures.



Fear-driven reactions prevent strategic thinking and meaningful organizing.



Deconstructing harmful systems often costs social approval, but the cost of silence is higher.



Being willing to be wrong, imperfect, and disliked is essential for growth and change.



Real solidarity is relational, not conceptual, and requires sustained bravery.

 
Chapters
00:00 Navigating Activism and Community Dynamics
08:24 The Role of White Women in Social Movements
11:14 Historical Context of Resistance and Protest
13:46 Deconstructing Identity and National Pride
16:49 The Challenges of Personal Relationships in Activism
19:38 The Complexity of Deconstruction and Self-Expression
22:31 Facing Criticism and Embracing Change
30:56 Navigating Conversations on Race and Understanding
34:19 The Role of White Women in Social Change
37:59 The Complexity of Martial Law and Resistance
42:42 Conversations Around Revolution and Action
46:36 The Impact of Whiteness on Society
48:45 Rethinking Leadership and Power Dynamics
54:10 The Game of Life and Social Expectations
56:13 Challenging Societal Norms and Personal Journeys
58:33 The Impact of Historical Trauma on White Women
01:02:23 Deconstructing White Supremacy and Its Effects
01:04:42 The Importance of Grassroots Education and Action
01:11:59 Taking Action Against Fascism and Community Engagement
Produced by Haley Phillips

In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca explore how whiteness, cult conditioning, and authoritarian systems shape fear, behavior, and identity, using car trauma, policing, and "common sense" social scripts as entry points. Daniella connects her evangelical cult upbringing to intense driving anxiety rooted in ritualized fear of death, while Rebecca situates car anxiety within racialized policing and survival awareness. From there, the conversation expands into white privilege as the absence of danger, the dehumanization embedded in rhetorical questions, and how "anti-identity" often becomes the first stage of deconstruction. They unpack how whiteness trains people to perform goodness, demand conditional care, and replace joy with moral misery, while cults function as an exaggerated but clarifying version of these same systems. The episode ultimately argues that joy, embodiment, and play are not frivolous, but actively suppressed, and that reclaiming them is essential to healing after cults, white supremacy, and authoritarian control.
 
Connect with Rebecca at:
Website
Patreon
TikTok 
 
Connect with Daniella at:
Daniella's Patreon
TikTok
Instagram 
Website
Youtube
KnittingCultLady Store
 
Preorder for Culting of America: The Culting of America PRE-SALE (SHIPS BY JANUARY 20, 2026) – Knitting Cult Lady
Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young
From Bookshop.org

Autographed 

UnAMERICAN Videobook

Key Takeaways
Car anxiety can be a trauma response rooted in ritualized fear, not logic or skill.

Whiteness often functions as the absence of certain dangers, not the presence of virtue.

Policing anxiety is racialized; "safety" is experienced very differently depending on identity.

Rhetorical questions are often tools of hierarchy, not curiosity or care.

Early deconstruction frequently relies on anti-identity ("I will never be like them") before new models exist.

Cult thinking and white supremacy share core features: conditional care, moral purity, and performance.

"Good girl" privilege is a specific, gendered subset of white privilege.

Moral misery spreads by recruiting others into hopelessness rather than action.

Joy and spontaneity are systematically suppressed in white American culture.

Performance is often the only sanctioned outlet for embodiment in authoritarian systems.

Healing requires more than knowledge—it requires building new relational and emotional models.

Rage and anger can be useful; misery is immobilizing.

Reclaiming joy, play, and embodiment is an act of resistance.

Chapters
00:00 Exploring Car Trauma and Anxiety
02:53 Cultural Perspectives on Police and Driving
05:49 Navigating Whiteness and Privilege
08:22 Deconstructing Identity and Cult Influence
11:08 The Process of Deconstruction
13:50 Parenting and Positive Reinforcement
16:33 Rhetorical Questions and Hierarchies
19:27 Moral Misery and Community Dynamics
27:17 The Nature of Girlhood: Performance vs. Experience
28:58 Joy and Healing Through Performance
31:30 Cultural Expectations and Spontaneity
34:13 The Role of Play in Different Cultures
36:44 Self-Perception and Code-Switching
39:25 The Impact of Lying in Society
42:17 Discrediting Voices: The Politics of Accountability
45:01 The Intersection of Identity and Experience
47:56 Flipping the Narrative: Gendered Perspectives
53:21 The Myth of Meritocracy and Hard Work
54:10 The Cult of Productivity and Childhood Prodigies
56:23 Healing Through Art and Self-Acceptance
58:38 The Myth of Being Fixed: Embracing Imperfection
01:01:50 The Fear of Public Speaking and the Need for Community
01:04:01 Cultural Differences in Public Expression
01:06:12 The Pressure of Perfection and the Value of Enjoyment
01:09:09 Redefining Work and Enjoyment in Life
01:11:37 The Challenge of Authenticity in a Performative World
Produced by Haley Phillips

In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack the backlash following Jasmine Crockett's announcement that she's running for Senate, focusing on how quickly public support—especially from white women—turned into purity testing. They examine why Black women in power are routinely held to impossible moral standards, particularly around U.S. support for Israel, while white politicians are rarely scrutinized the same way. The conversation expands into how whiteness flattens complexity into good/bad binaries, how "moral superiority" becomes a performance, and how this dynamic ultimately protects harmful systems rather than challenging them. Drawing parallels to cult logic, respectability politics, DEI myths, and American exceptionalism, the episode argues that real change requires interrogating who we criticize, why, and when—instead of using critique as a way to feel righteous while doing nothing.
Connect with Rebecca at: 
Website
Patreon
TikTok 
 
Connect with Daniella at:
Daniella's Patreon
TikTok
Instagram 
Website
Youtube
KnittingCultLady Store
 
Preorder for Culting of America: The Culting of America PRE-SALE (SHIPS BY JANUARY 20, 2026) – Knitting Cult Lady
Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young
From Bookshop.org

Autographed 

UnAMERICAN Videobook

Key Takeaways
Jasmine Crockett's Senate run triggered rapid purity testing that exposed racialized double standards in political critique.

Black women in power are expected to embody moral perfection in ways white politicians are not.

Voting within a broken system is not the same as personally endorsing every outcome of that system.

Whiteness often collapses nuance into binary thinking: good vs. bad, pure vs. corrupt.

Moral outrage can function as a performance that replaces meaningful action.

Critiquing individuals instead of systems often reinforces the very power structures being opposed.

"Purity politics" mirrors cult logic by demanding ideological perfection and punishing deviation.

DEI backlash obscures the reality that white people—especially white men—have long been its primary beneficiaries.

American exceptionalism discourages people from imagining political collapse, change, or accountability.

Progress depends on asking better questions: who is being critiqued, for what purpose, and to what end?

Chapters
00:00 The Political Landscape and Representation
02:31 Critiquing Political Figures and Systems
05:06 The Role of Race in Political Discourse
07:53 Purity Politics and Accountability
10:46 Understanding Zionism and Its Implications
13:28 The Complexity of Military and Political Critique
15:57 Navigating Identity and Political Engagement
18:43 The Impact of DEI on Political Dynamics
25:01 Policing Perceptions and Motherhood
28:06 Political Strategies and Accountability
30:25 Imagining America: Leadership and Change
34:52 Gift Giving Culture and Expectations
47:06 Conversations on Change and Accountability
55:36 Unpacking Ideologies and Personal Beliefs
59:28 The Waiting Room: Transitioning from Cults to Community
01:02:19 Addressing MAGA and Accountability
01:04:51 Understanding Individual Experiences and Trauma
01:10:33 Navigating Conversations Around Race and Feminism
01:16:53 The Importance of Specificity in Discussions
Produced by Haley Phillips

In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella dive into how cult dynamics show up way beyond just "cults." Daniella shares pieces of her childhood in the Children of God and how those patterns of coercion, shame, and identity erasure followed her into adulthood—including her time in the military. They compare notes on how institutions, extremist movements, and even online communities use the same tactics to control people, and why so many folks get pulled into these systems in the first place. The conversation stays honest, nuanced, and very human as they talk about deradicalization, belonging, patriarchy, and the long, messy process of rebuilding your sense of self after leaving high-control environments.
Connect with Rebecca at: 
Website
Patreon
TikTok 
 
Connect with Daniella at:
Daniella's Patreon
TikTok
Instagram 
Website
Youtube
KnittingCultLady Store
 
Preorder for Culting of America: The Culting of America PRE-SALE (SHIPS BY JANUARY 20, 2026) – Knitting Cult Lady
Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young
From Bookshop.org

Autographed 

UnAMERICAN Videobook

Key Takeaways
Cults, extremist groups, and rigid institutions all rely on the same tools: shame, control, isolation, and obedience.

People don't join these groups because they're weak—they're looking for community, safety, identity, or purpose.

Perfectionism and purity culture keep people trapped by making them feel like they're never "good enough."

Leaving a high-control group doesn't erase the internalized rules; those scripts take time to unlearn.

Extremists almost never see themselves as extremists—they think they're doing the right or noble thing.

Institutions like the military can reinforce the same patterns of self-erasure and unquestioning loyalty.

Healing requires nuance; black-and-white thinking is part of what got people stuck in the first place.

Online spaces make radicalization easier by offering instant community and grievance-based belonging.

Patriarchy shapes how these systems recruit, punish, and reward people.

Rebuilding a sense of self is a long process that often starts with reconnecting to your body, not just your beliefs.

Chapters
00:00 The Struggles of Content Creation and Listening
02:46 Engagement and Miscommunication in Online Spaces
05:41 Community Care and Collective Responsibility
08:38 The Value of Dignity in Work and Service
11:25 The Complexity of Professional Identity
14:16 Tradition, Culture, and the Constitution
17:08 Navigating Social Dynamics at Thanksgiving
19:59 The Importance of Curiosity in Understanding Cults
24:54 The Complexity of Sharing Personal Stories
27:46 Community and the Importance of Trust
29:26 Navigating Urgency and Awareness in Conversations
32:53 Military Choices and Racial Perspectives
36:08 Brainwashing and Military Culture
40:10 The Perception of Time and Future
43:22 Understanding Whiteness and Its Implications
47:07 The Incentive Behind Accusations
51:20 Bridging the Gap in Conversations
52:59 Understanding White Privilege
56:42 The Impact of Innocence and Purity
01:00:34 Navigating Conversations on Race
01:04:18 Deconstructing Whiteness and Corporate Culture
01:07:57 The Importance of Storytelling in Learning
01:13:42 Embracing the Learning Journey
Produced by Haley Phillips