During their flight back to Orange County after an amazing Valentine’s Day get-away weekend in Cabo San Lucas, the Whites suddenly find themselves headed back to Cabo for an emergency landing. While other passengers are scrambling, angry, and upset, Garrett and Danielle get to work creating new possibilities in the midst of the chaos of their current situation. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Arguing With Reality Garrett and Danielle watched as men and women became panicked and angry about the flight. Armed with their demands and frustrations, fellow passengers stormed up the escalator to the Alaskan check-in desk scrambling to be the first in line to yell at the girl behind the counter. Garrett: I spent most of my entire life freaking out about shit that I couldn’t control, trying to force things to be different than they actually were. Although I still do this, it’s significantly less than I’ve ever done it before. QUESTION How do you handle the unexpected? Point #2: The Ocean Always Wins As you look at reality, it is what it is. During Garrett’s first week of surfing as he was trying to fight the waves, his coach turned to him and said, “The ocean always wins.” “You cannot control the ocean, you cannot control the water, and you can’t out hustle the waves. The only thing you can do is deal with whatever the ocean is giving you”. QUESTION How can you relate this to situations in your life? Point #3: Change Your State It’s Danielle’s belief that women tend to cause a lot of unneeded stress in their lives, which not only affects them but ends up spilling over into the lives of their spouse and children. Danielle: The more you learn how to change your state, the faster you can do it. Ask yourself: What is the lesson? What is the direction I am supposed to be going? When you look at things with that perspective, so many things start to open up for you. QUESTION What can you begin doing to change your state of being before things get out of hand? Point #4: The Crazy Game of Marriage Garrett: Marriage is crazy. You have two individuals who are evolving human beings; two people who are challenging the way they think, challenging the way they believe, challenging the way they conceive marriage. All of these are constantly moving. We want things to constantly evolve and change because we demand variety in our lives yet on the flip side, we get completely pissed off about the fact that things are constantly evolving and changing. QUESTION What is your experience with this as a couple? Point #5: Let Go & Be Open Garrett: I operated most of my life trying to force things. This situation at the Cabo airport would have been something a number of years ago I would have lost my mind over. Now, it’s almost as if the Universe has orchestrated this just for me. Danielle: Whether it happens on purpose or not, you can’t fight what is so you might as well enjoy where you’re at and see what opens up while being in that space. QUESTION Where in your world have you seen a shift as you have begun letting go? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about the things that drive you crazy about each other yet have turned out to be the other’s greatest strengths and assets. Date Night Topic: On your Date Night this week, talk about the Crossroads and Turning Points in your relationship. Quote of the Week: “What I’ve come to realize is, everything I’ve wanted Danielle to change has become her greatest asset. Her greatest strengths have become the things that drive me fucking nuts.” — Garrett J White “There’s a lot of power in letting go. As you let go, it allows you to live life to the fullest. There’s a difference between disconnecting and letting go. In letting go, you’re still there but you’re letting go of the forcing of whatever you’re trying to do.” — Danielle K White
Parenting Decisions & Communication | Date Your Wife | EP 058
Welcome to this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast where married business owners, Garrett and Danielle White, have an entertaining and revealing conversation about the “how to’s” of navigating the ever-changing waters of parenthood. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Parenting Point #1: The Trifecta of Insanity Garrett: You can’t be a married businessman with children if you don’t have children. Dogs, guinea pigs, and fish don’t count. We live in a place where people push their dogs around in fucking strollers. To be a married businessman with children means that you have a partner that you are committed to AND you have children. This trifecta of insanity is literally a suicide mission with only two possible outcomes: 1- you win and 2- you lose. QUESTION How are you and your spouse handling the Trifecta of Insanity? Point #2: Once a Mom, Always a Mom Danielle: I don’t think you really have perspective until you actually start having kids. Before having kids, we both worked hard during the week and were pretty much homebodies on the weekends. Looking back, I’m thinking we should have done more. Danielle’s mother told her that even with all of her children grown, she still worries about them making good decisions. Once you’re a mom, you’re always a mom. “Oh shit! But then, you never want anything different once you are a mom, and you can’t imagine your life without your children.” QUESTION How has having children changed your perspective about life? Point #3: The Love of Learning Although a college graduate, Garrett’s passion for learning wasn’t ignited until he read “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” in 2001 as a PE teacher, opening up an entirely different world to him. “I’m addicted to and obsessed with learning and cannot consume enough!” It wasn’t until later in life that Danielle would learn the importance of learning. “You have to have a love for learning, and you have to LEARN to learn. Seeing the person I have become through learning, I wish I would have understood that concept when I was younger.” QUESTION When were you bit by the learning bug? What was the turning point for you? Point #4: Consequences & Boundaries In parenting, where do you draw the line? When do you let your children come to their own conclusions in life after suffering the consequences of their own choices, and when do you hold them accountable to certain standards of behavior? As Garrett and Danielle met with their daughter, teachers, and principal, it was clear that implementing a system of accountability going forward would greatly assist their daughter in achieving her musical aspirations. QUESTION Where in your world do you know it’s time to set up a system of accountability? Point #5: Just the Facts, Please Garrett: Your kids are not always right. Most of the time as a parent when you try to defend your kids from the consequences of life, what you’re doing is defending your own ego and your own self-doubt as a parent. What are the facts? Possibly the greatest gift that you could give your children is to get clear about the facts in front of the other people that matter and involve them in the process of accountability. QUESTION Where in your world is it time to separate the facts from your feelings in order to progress and move forward? Communication Challenge: What is your take on boundaries, consequences, and accountability when it comes to your children? How does it align with your spouse’s take? How does it differ? Date Night Topic: While you’re out on your date this week, have a conversation about how as parents you can instill the love of learning into your children. Quote of the Week: “It’s one thing to build a business and have nothing else to worry about except building that business. It’s another thing to build a business and then get married. And then, it’s a whole other conundrum to build a business, get married, have multiple babies, raise those babies, and inside of that, make a decision to have another baby.” — Garrett J White “Teach your children the importance of learning. If as an adult you want to get ahead in the game or become an overall better human being, life is about learning. If you can teach your children to love to learn, they’ll have more success in their life.” — Danielle K White
Haters |Date Your Wife | EP 057
Welcome to the Date Your Wife podcast, aka the White’s weekly therapy session, coming to you for the first time from their new home studio. In this week’s personal and up close conversation from inside their bedroom, the highlights of this episode include details about Closet Sex, Garrett’s tendency to go to the extreme, the purpose behind this podcast, and business strategies when it comes to dealing with the haters.
Dream Big |Date Your Wife | EP 056
This week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast comes to you from beautiful Palm Beach, Florida, where the White’s are attending Tony Robbin’s Business Mastery Event. As they huddle in their bed trying to warm up from the ice-box temperatures they’ve been experiencing all day, they share stories about how Tony’s events have impacted and shifted their personal and business lives in major ways. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…MONEY Point #1: Hippies & Weird Shit Personal development hasn’t always been at the top of Danielle’s list of priorities. Up until a few short years ago, she equated it to a bunch of hippies sitting around hugging trees. “Garrett was actually into some weird shit at different times during our marriage. The few personal development events I DID attend with him left me feeling totally creeped out.” QUESTION What experiences have you had with personal development events? Point #2: Date With Destiny After viewing Tony Robbin’s “I Am Not Your Guru” on Netflix in December of 2016, Danielle began having a change of heart towards self-development. Tony’s approach actually made sense to her. “It seemed to be a more logical approach and less weird shit.” As fate would have it, Tony’s son was attending Warrior Week at about the same time. As if right on cue, the Universe delivered up two tickets to Tony’s next event, Date With Destiny, a mere three weeks away. QUESTION Have you or your spouse ever attended Date With Destiny? Point #3: How Big Can You Dream? Danielle’s experience at Date With Destiny changed her thinking in a lot of ways. One of the biggest impacts for her was the exercise where they were told to dream big and write down EVERYTHING they wanted. From this one exercise, Garrett and Danielle ended up making some major decisions in their marriage and businesses which resulted in some huge shifts for them that year. QUESTION Where in your world have you experienced a huge shift after hearing or experiencing something? Point #4: Give Yourself Permission Garrett and Danielle had to leave their environment over and over again to get to a place where they could ultimately choose a life that was theirs as a couple and as a family. Garrett: Buying this house, investing in our family, and moving into this home literally shattered an entire box or frame of ideology that surrounded my brain. QUESTION Where in your world do you need to give yourself permission do to something that you know would yield big results or big shifts? Point #5: It’s in the Numbers The biggest thing that Danielle is getting out of Business Mastery is confirming what she already suspected: she’s got to know her numbers better than she does. Event speaker Keith Cunningham taught, ”As a business owner, there is no value in a number; the value is knowing what to do a bout the numbers that you see.” QUESTION What does it mean to you to not only know your numbers but to also know what to do about them? Communication Challenge: Grab your journals and carve out some time to Dream Big. Talk about and write down EVERYTHING you’d like to do within certain time frames, think way outside the box, and hold nothing back. Date Night Topic: Search out events you can attend this year TOGETHER for your individual growth AND for your growth as a couple. Choose one event and put it on your calendar. Make the leap. Your future is worth the investment. Quote of the Week: “The trifecta of insanity: choose to be married, choose to have kids, choose to have a business. You do those three things, and you’re either a glutton for punishment, a psychopath, or you want to have the fast train to big fucking results based on the power and the pressure of having to rise.” — Garrett J White “ It was an “against all odds” situation because of the story we had been telling ourselves. But when we actually put our foot forward and started entertaining the idea, EVERYTHING started to fall into place for us.” — Danielle K White
Date Night |Date Your Wife | EP 055
Garrett and Danielle are proponents of dating your spouse at least once a week. They understand that adding young children to the mix can sometimes present a challenge but know that your relationship MUST come first if you want it to last. In this week’s episode, the White’s share tips for what has worked for them (as well as what hasn’t worked for them) in their quest to find babysitters and nannies. Where they ultimately hit the jackpot might actually surprise you. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Routines & Consistency Both Garrett and Danielle feel like this podcast has been so good for their marriage. It’s as if the listening audience has become their sounding board and allows them to be better communicators with each other without completely flipping their lids and going off on each other. Danielle: In life, once you get out of your routine it’s so easy to lose your momentum. It’s in doing the small things consistently that keep us on track to build the large things; it’s the small and consistent things in marriage that keep a relationship stable and progressing. QUESTION What are you doing consistently inside of your relationship that is noticeably making a difference in the way you feel about and communciate with each other? Point #2: Baby Talk In the land of pregnancy and babies, when a woman is overdue it is a common understanding that having sex helps induce labor. Danielle’s experience with their two previous babies was that within an hour of having sex, the contractions began. Garrett attributes it to his “very aggressive sperm.” Danielle’s well thought out plans for the gender reveal went sideways as the waves washed out the pink and blue smoke bombs she had carefully buried in the sand. Garrett accidentally reveals the gender of the baby during the podcast. QUESTION Did your gender reveal turn out as planned? Point #3: Family Affair? A lot of times, people think they can only trust their family to watch their kids. Danielle has discovered that having someone other than family might actually be better for you and your kids. From her personal experience, she would rather hire someone to follow her structure and routine instead of having free help from family who want to do their own thing. QUESTION What has been your experience with family watching your children? Point #4: On-Demand Babysitter Gone Awry Garrett wanted to have an on-demand babysitter who was always available. He paid her a salary and got her an apartment close by their home so they would have someone ready to care for the kids whenever he and Danielle wanted to go out. It evolved into a sense of entitlement and a situation where Danielle was having to dance around the babysitter’s schedule. Danielle: Finding a babysitter is like building a business. You assume that people you hire will know what to do, but you should neve r assume. Find someone that you like and then be clear about the outcome you expect while they’re there. Always keep them in check. People want to know how to win whether it’s a nanny or an employee and will start to retreat when they don’t know how to please you. QUESTION Have you set clear outcomes and expectations for your babysitters? Point #5: Care.com: Your Shit is Legit By far the best decision Garrett & Danielle have made when it comes to finding a babysitter or nanny for their children is going through care.com. Garrett advises, “Request your babysitters driven by a dollar value, and when they turn in their application, make sure they send you a video.” “You’re investing in the guardianship of your children. If you’re paying a lot of money, set clear outcomes and expectations. If you look at the overall investment on a monthly basis, you’re investing in your marriage. 1-What’s your marriage worth? 2-How much are your children worth?” QUESTION Are you being a cheap bastard when it comes to hiring someone to watch your children? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation about Date Night, and the challenges you are currently facing that are stopping you from going out consistently with your spouse. Get clear about what you want from your marriage, and what you can do to begin making Date Night a top priority in your marriage. Date Night Topic: Have a brainstorming session about the things you and your spouse want to do on your Date Nights for the next couple of months. Quote of the Week: “If you care about your marriage and want things to work out, you go on Date Nights. If you care about your communication and sex life, go on Date Nights. To pull that off, you’re going to have to go through some trial and error before you find what works for you.” — Garrett J White “ Whether it’s family or someone you pay, there are really no excuses when it comes to creating Date Night and space for yourselves as a couple. It becomes a matter of making it a priority.” — Danielle White
Co-hosts Garrett J White and Danielle K White share in this weekly podcast as a powerhouse husband and wife duo why date nights have become non-negotiable in their life. Garrett is the founder of Wake Up Warrior, a program for married businessmen to live the Warrior’s Way towards having a life of having it all, and Danielle is the founder of NBR hair extension techniques through DKW Styling Salon. They will share how they have created success in every aspect of their lives after being willing to rebuild and heal from disconnection, and it all starts with weekly date nights.
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