Every week married couple Danielle K and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…Communication Point #1: Divine Divorce Leads to Divine Destiny There are times when couples are in the midst of great chaos and find themselves knocking on the door of divorce. Because of this, most couples concur that there comes a point in their relationship where they must choose all in…again. Garrett: Although we didn’t get a divorce, there was an emotional separation that took place. We were functionally disconnected, meaning, we were very good at being disconnected. There came a time when the inevitable moment of decision presented itself where we had to make a choice. QUESTION What has been your experience with knocking on the door of divorce? Point #2: Am I With the Wrong Person? The IDEA of a relationship that is in continual bliss and always on fire is evident in the highlight reels that are plastered all over social media, giving others the impression of a fairytale happily-ever-after marriage. This is total bullshit. Garrett: There’s a moment of the Divine Divorce where you as a couple begin to drift but it’s actually setting up the next chapter of your relationship. Danielle: We kept looping back to the same arguments that never got solved, which had me wondering, “Am I with the wrong person?” QUESTION Is what you’re posting on social media a true reflection of the state of your marriage, or is it drenched in hopeful bliss and fantasy? Point #3: It’s Just How It Is Garrett: The vast majority of couples that I meet and connect with inside Wake Up Warrior and BMS are operating in very minimal sexual connection, very minimal emotional and spiritual connection, and are surviving. But the challenge is, they don’t even know they’re surviving. The belief is, “This is just how it is.” If you surround yourself with people who have this belief, it’s not until something traumatic happens where it begins to expose how shitty things really are. In our marriage when the money disappeared, that is when the chaos of our marriage was exposed. QUESTION Where in your world do you have the belief of “it’s just how it is?” Point #4: From Divorce to Divine Divorcement The reality of how people show up in marriage is quite alarming to Garrett. Inside of many relationships he is connected with, he has witnessed many couples where both people are out of shape, they don’t go out on dates, there is no seduction or flirting, and they are in the managing and survival mode. Then they get a divorce. “What blows my mind is the transformation that begins taking place AFTER the divorce, where they blossom into this entirely new person. Instead of having to get divorced, what if you could literally go through a Divine Divorcement?” QUESTION If on the verge of divorce, what would be possible inside your marriage if you considered the possibility of creating new patterns while remainging married? Point #5: It’s a Choice Garrett: No matter how powerfully connected you feel to who you are and what you have, the next version of your relationship as a couple is impossibly held hostage by the current constraints of what you believe is possible today. No matter what state your marriage is in today, there’s another level calling you. And in order to get to that next level, there’s a Divine Divorcement upon you. Divine in the sense that God, through the gift of agency, is giving you an opportunity to choose. QUESTION What are some of the limiting beliefs that are holding your marraige hostage? Communication Challenge: How are you choosing to show up in your marriage? What are you choosing to divorce? Without the divorcement and without the decision to do it, nothing is going to change inside of your relationship. Date Night Topic: Have a conversation about the things that attracted you to each other in the beginning of your relationship. How those have evolved and changed over time? What are some things you can do now to create new chemistry and excitement inside your relationship? Quote of the Week: “There’s a new destiny on the other side of divorce. Divorce is simply choosing to do something different; it’s the laying down and putting aside of that which is old and not working, for something that is new and can work.” — Garrett J White “People underestimate the small consistencies daily that create a big win in life. Stay committed, be patient, and kick your husband in the ass every now and again if he needs it.” — Danielle K White
Toleration & Standards | Date Your Wife | EP 106
Previously Aired on April 30, 2019. In this week’s episode of the Date Your Wife podcast, co-hosts Garrett J and Danielle K White are coming to you from the 38th-floor inside a corner suite of the Four Seasons in Las Vegas where they are celebrating Danielle’s 36th birthday. This week’s conversation is about how the unification of your standards with your spouse builds the ultimate standard, and how you can’t pull that off unless you have actually connected with your own standard. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast…COMMUNICATION Point #1: Standards One of the gifts of being married is that we each come into it with radically different standards for life. We have standards about sexuality, parenting, making money, how we spend our time, etc., based upon our past, how we were raised, and our mindsets. Danielle: I do have a high standard based upon how I was raised, but what I also notice is that I’m an extremely experience-based, detailed person who makes me hold things to a different level or standard than most people. QUESTION What are some standards you hold yourself to? Point #2: Tolerance We tolerate what our standards are. Where this ends up in collision is inside of marriage due to the different standards of each spouse. Garrett has a standard of emotional connection, which is leaving people better than when you first meet them, something that comes very naturally for him. Danielle, on the other hand, will tolerate almost no communication with other people. QUESTION What are some of the differing standards inside your marriage which have been a source for collision? Point #3: It Takes Two to Tango Garrett: Without my standards for communication, Danielle would have limited her communication. She would never have launched a podcast in the hair industry, nor would she have launched her own salon or training company. Danielle: I hold the standard of where we live and what we wear. When I push to get nicer things in life, we push more in business. And when we push more in business, it not only affects our family, but it also creates multiple job opportunities for multiple families. QUESTION What have your differing standards created inside of your world? Point #4: Own Your Standards Garrett: We take a stand for each individual to own their identity, where neither one is a doormat or a steamroller, but where we both come to terms with who we are. My standards say we do one thing, and Danielle’s standards say we do another. As you come to own your standards, it allows you actually to embrace the standards of other people. Together, you create this ultimate standard as a couple. You begin to be more committed to each other, and out of that is birthed something deeper than love, which is respect. QUESTION How has owning your individual standards created the ultimate standard inside your marriage? Point #5: Co-creation Garrett: The standards across both sides of co-creation have allowed for Danielle and I to build our brands, our businesses, and our family. The unique side about all of this is there are very few powerful couples taking a stand for marriage that works, which requires you to be clear in your standards. Danielle: I realize that in managing our own empires and managing a marriage – and managing it well – it’s kind of unheard of. We each have huge visions for our brands, and we’re proving that it can be done; that we can have those individual standards but also come together to create more as a couple. QUESTION What have you been able to co-create as a couple that you most likely never would have on your own? Communication Challenge: Where can you push in your relationship to become more together, to grow together, and unite as a couple? Date Night Topic: What can you create as a couple by uniting your individual standards? Quote of the Week: “The mix of standards between a married couple blend together to create the ultimate cocktail of creation.” — Garrett J White “I think we push each other in all the right ways. I think that’s what a relationship is supposed to be: pushing one another to a healthy place .” — Danielle K White
Karmic Loop | Date Your Wife | EP 105
*Episode Replay from September of 2019.* The White’s are back and on fire in this new episode of the Date Your Wife podcast. Inarguably one of their spicier therapy sessions yet, in addition to today’s theme of the Karmic Loop, Garrett & Danielle delve into the topics of parenting, fitness, dating, the art of seduction, sex, and have a candid conversation about the loop Garrett has been stuck in for the past two weeks.
Money Matters | Date Your Wife | EP 105
*This is a previously aired episode from April 2018. Today’s conversation with Garrett and Danielle is about the topic of Money and the important role it plays in your relationship. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….MONEY Point #1: Men Must Produce When you make enough money to put your family into abundance, there’s a shift in the way that you see yourself as a man and a shift in the way you see your relationship. It also affects the way your wife sees you. Danielle: Generally, women want men to take care of them. Even if we can produce, we still want our man to ‘be the man’ and take care of us. A man is sexier to a woman when he’s the one producing. QUESTION How does this ring true for you as a couple? Point #2: Money is a Tool Garrett: Inside of our relationships, money sits at the core. We have friends who celebrate their success and use money as a tool to inspire other people to create more, and then we have other friends who simply hide it all and pretend like they’re broke. Danielle: There was a five year period where we were experiencing rapid growth, and we disconnected ourselves from people. I had surface relationships and felt like I was kind of guarding myself. What I’ve come to realize now is that I can have relationships with everyone – it’s just a matter of me being comfortable with me. QUESTION Are you living in a scarcity or abundant mindset while being surrounded by your wealth? Point #3: You Must Leap Garrett: In 2009, after I had lost everything, I was offered a job from a friend at a very crucial time for me when I didn’t have a lot of belief in myself. I was terrified as a husband and as a producer and had lost all confidence in myself. There came a pivotal moment when I realized my life was in the balance, and something in my soul said, “You must fucking leap!” Danielle: When we were dating, I saw Garrett for who he was and who he could become. I knew there were great things in store for him. So when I saw him selling out, I was so upset because I knew that he was capable of doing and becoming so much more. QUESTION Where in your life have you settled? Point #4: Don’t Settle Garrett: One of the greatest gifts my wife has given to me about money is that she rode my ass about it. As you get better and better at making money as a man inside of marriage, it forces you to become a new man. Danielle: I think that people play it safe in life in fear of failure. If I leap and I fall on my face, then there are consequences; but if I stay in the safe zone, then I can ride this out forever. If you’re listening to this and you’re feeling a stab in the heart to take action in your life, do it. QUESTION Where in your life are you feeling the call to take a leap of faith? Point #5: Team Work Garrett: There are a lot of you here who need to rise. Danielle and I work as a team to push each other. There are times she wants to settle into her little comfortable cocoon, and then I kick her straight out of the cocoon, I rip it open and throw her off the cliff. And she does the same for me. Danielle: You can produce way more as a couple if you can get on the same page of experiencing more growth together. If you can take those experiences of who you are as a couple and make them work, two is better than one, at least in my experience for us. We push each other in that way. QUESTION What is your dance as a couple in the way you support each other’s growth? Communication Challenge: Have a conversation as a couple, and allow yourself to collide and dream. Sit down and set a target of a game that you could create together. Who can you become as a couple economically? Who can you become as a producer individually or collectively? What would it require for you to become to pull that off? Date Night Topic: Give yourself some credit for where you are. Challenge yourself on your Date-Night to have a conversation about possibility or collision. Either one of these paths will lead you to a new position and possibility inside of your life. Quote of the Week: “My money is a reflection of my ability to produce and create value in the marketplace. So I produce, and I create more not for the target of having money, but rather we are in this place of a desire to become more, and inside of that, we use money production as a way to accelerate that.” — Garrett J White “Be you at every level.” — Danielle K White
Parenting Challenges & Victories | Date Your Wife | Ep 104
Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….PARENTING Point #1: Cell Phone Game Changer Cell phones have changed the game for kids, forcing kids today to grow up much faster, and at the same time, they’re NOT growing up. They’ve gotten really good at being able to communicate via text, but they haven’t learned how to commutate face-to-face. Danielle recalls waiting for boys to call her when she was in Junior High. She was nervous and sweating, hoping she wouldn’t sound like a dork or stutter. Today, it’s a matter of text, erase, edit, and send. QUESTION How has communication changed since you were a teen? Point #2: Bed Time Shenanigans The bed-time routine at the White household can sometimes look more like a shit show, with their seventh-grader going into psycho mode while Garrett takes away her cell phone. Unbeknownst to Garrett, who is in the middle of a yelling match in one room, Danielle is in another room consoling their seven-year-old who has a pillow over her ears saying, “I hate this part!” QUESTION What does your bedtime routine look like? Point #3: Old School Discipline When their oldest daughter back-talks Danielle, Garrett wonders if her mother would have tolerated that behavior. As a seventh-grader, Danielle remembers being backhanded by her mother while they were driving. As an eighth-grader, Garrett found himself wandering the streets of their new city for four hours after his mom kicked him out of the van for fighting with his siblings. That was before cell phones. QUESTION How do your disciplining methods differ from those of your parents? Point #4: Jump Through the Windows Danielle: When kids are little, they operate on your agenda; when they turn into teenagers, you operate on their agenda – that’s your window “in.” In order to gain that connection, I’m constantly looking for my windows. Garrett: We have some traction in her world. The key is being present with what her issues are and what’s going on in her world. Perhaps we actually do know what we’re doing. QUESTION What can you do to be more aware of those little windows of opportunity to connect with your children? Point #5: Navigating the Parental Waters of Divorce It was only a couple years ago that Garrett’s nineteen-year-old son wouldn’t talk to him. Today, he is an integral part of the Warrior landscape as he and Garrett forge a new relationship that has recently included bringing Garrett’s ex-wife and her family into the picture. A family intervention during the Warrior Woman event in the summer of 2018 proved not only healing but life-transforming. Garrett and his ex-wife were able to take radical responsibility, let go of stories, and come to a peaceful place, demonstrating that anything is possible. QUESTION How are you navigating the waters of parental divorce? Communication Challenge: Discuss the challenges cell phones have brought into your family. Date Night Topic: How can you better support each other in how you parent? Brainstorm different ideas and strategies and choose one or two to begin implementing. Quote of the Week: “The emotional fortitude of children isn’t what it used to be. Kids today are growing up intellectually very quickly, with great articulation and communication, but emotionally they’re going backward.” — Garrett J White “Because you are so mad and so bitter, and are not dealing with your own shit and your own stories, it is ultimately holding you back.” — Danielle K White
Co-hosts Garrett J White and Danielle K White share in this weekly podcast as a powerhouse husband and wife duo why date nights have become non-negotiable in their life. Garrett is the founder of Wake Up Warrior, a program for married businessmen to live the Warrior’s Way towards having a life of having it all, and Danielle is the founder of NBR hair extension techniques through DKW Styling Salon. They will share how they have created success in every aspect of their lives after being willing to rebuild and heal from disconnection, and it all starts with weekly date nights.
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