In this episode of Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into the real story behind how lasting change happens in marriage—and why you can’t force your husband to change. Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen share raw, vulnerable insights from the darkest seasons of their relationship, when betrayal, denial, and disconnection ruled their home. Caitlyn unpacks the painful truth that no ultimatum or strategy could transform Brandon—he had to choose healing for himself. Together, they explore how patterns of shame, hidden behaviors, and avoidance sabotage intimacy and what it really takes for a man to reclaim emotional presence, empathy, and integrity. You’ll learn why confronting uncomfortable realities, setting immovable standards, and choosing embodiment over numbness is key to rebuilding trust and true connection. This episode isn’t just about saving a marriage—it’s about becoming fully alive in it.Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th (Registration Closed)📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to apply for a spot inside the Grounded Men's Community AppWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples programFollow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyndoerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:28 – Intro and Season One Recap: Brandon introduces the end of season one, highlighting key themes and insights shared throughout.00:01:02 – Upcoming Couples Workshops: Information about their in-person workshops in Portland, San Diego, and an intensive retreat in Maui.00:02:09 – Who’s Responsible for Change in a Marriage?: Brandon and Caitlyn introduce the central question of the episode—who is responsible for change in a marriage, and what does it look like to go from feeling powerless to creating lasting transformation?00:06:41 – From Denial to Acceptance: Moving from denial to a victim mentality and finally taking responsibility for his role in the marriage breakdown.00:09:15 – Taking Responsibility for Pain and Change: How both partners must take responsibility for their actions, behaviors, and pain, even if the other partner has caused hurt.00:20:21 – Holding a Clear Vision for Your Marriage: The importance of maintaining a strong vision for the marriage and clearly inviting your spouse to rise into it.00:23:13 – Choosing Your Marriage from Power, Not Fear: The importance of staying together because of a shared vision rather than fear of being alone or financial dependence.00:25:21 – Avoiding the Toxic Middle Ground: How couples often settle for a disconnected marriage to avoid the stigma of divorce, highlighting the importance of true intimacy.00:29:07 – Now is the Best Time to Heal: There is no perfect time to start healing your marriage, and begin immediately by removing distractions and focusing inward.00:36:39 – Healing the Childhood Fear of Responsibility: How childhood punishments influence our adult fears around accepting responsibility, and how stepping into ownership fosters intimacy and connection in marriage.
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38:49
Why Your Relationship Feels Flat and Disconnected
In this episode of Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into why your relationship might feel emotionally dry, disconnected, or just… flat. Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen unpack the hidden layers behind emotional distance in marriage, including avoidance, passivity, self-protection, and performance. They get vulnerable about the moments their own relationship hit rock bottom—and what it took to rebuild true connection. From understanding the impact of unresolved stress to small, intentional steps like eye contact and getting out into nature, they offer practical shifts that can reignite emotional presence and intimacy. With powerful personal insights and grounded, relatable guidance, this episode helps couples stop drifting and start engaging again. Whether you're just starting your healing journey or feeling stuck in a cycle, this one is packed with real tools to help you reconnect with your partner and yourself. Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th (Registration Closed)📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to apply for a spot inside the Grounded Men's Community AppWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyndoerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:28 – Intro & Workshop Announcements: Brandon introduces the topic of emotional disconnection and shares updates about upcoming workshops in Portland, San Diego, and Maui.00:03:00 – Recognizing the signs of disconnection: The warning signs that show your relationship may be disconnected, based on their own experience at rock bottom.00:06:25 – How Screens Secretly Disconnect You: The unseen ways constant media exposure creates emotional distance.00:12:01 – Choosing Connection Over Convenience: The rewards of choosing real-life connection over digital distractions.00:18:02 – The Impact of Reducing Media Consumption: How eliminating media consumption from their lives created a more positive, present family environment and reduced unnecessary stress.00:25:40 – Daily habits to stay connected: Simple, achievable practices that maintain emotional intimacy daily.00:32:36 – The Power of Deep Conversations: How removing distractions allows for deeper conversations about childhood, belief systems, and personal secrets that can lead to a deeper connection.00:34:16 – Choosing Connection Over Entertainment: The importance of choosing genuine connection over entertainment, offering a challenge to couples to have real conversations beyond TV and movies.00:35:08 – The Impact of Light on Your Well-Being: How artificial blue light disrupts your circadian rhythm and how to regulate your environment with natural light to improve overall health and connection.00:42:30 – Why you don't need big gestures: How consistent small actions outweigh occasional grand gestures.
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47:06
The Shortcut to Healing Your Relationship
In this episode of The Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into the often-overlooked but truly transformative shortcut to healing your relationship: your emotions. Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen share how tapping into your emotional world—through bodily awareness, movement, and vulnerability—can radically accelerate trust, connection, and intimacy. They dismantle the idea that men are “wired” to be emotionally detached and instead show how emotional numbness is learned (and can be unlearned). With personal stories, practical guidance, and gentle truth-telling, they walk you through what it looks like to feel again, on purpose. If you're tired of repeating the same patterns and ready to finally move forward together, this one’s for you.Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th (Registration Closed)📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to apply for a spot inside the Grounded Men's Community AppWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyndoerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:27 – Intro: Brandon kicks off Episode 7, introducing the topic of emotional vulnerability as the shortcut to healing relationships.00:00:53 – Men, Emotions, and Misconceptions: Why many men were never taught how to navigate their emotions—and how that keeps relationships stuck.00:03:14 – Your body is telling the truth: How your nervous system and body sensations carry emotional signals we often ignore.00:10:01 – The Glass Cup That Didn't Break: Brandon and Caitlyn recall a symbolic moment during a breakdown—a glass that breaks the wall but not the cup, mirroring Brandon’s emotional shutdown and unbreakable numbness.00:14:10 – Fight/flight/freeze: What’s your pattern?: How the nervous system reacts in conflict and how to spot your default mode.00:20:11 – The Emotional Response Training Exercise: The hosts explain a practical tool: write about a present and past emotional experience, then mime out that emotion physically to reconnect with it. 00:23:24 – Why Most Men Are Emotionally Shut Down: How societal conditioning from childhood trains boys to disconnect from their emotions and why relearning that emotional grid is key.00:27:28 – “The Dailies” Exercise for Couples: A powerful tool for reconnecting emotionally as a couple, involving naming feelings and memories and affirming each other without judgment.00:33:00 – Embodiment: The Secret Weapon for Grounding: How breathwork, movement, and nervous system regulation practices like “heel pounding” and “shaking it out” help men stay grounded during intense emotional moments.00:39:05 – Taking responsibility and refusing to be a victim: Even amid betrayal, Caitlyn chose not to be a victim and actively took steps toward healing, nourishment, and accountability.00:43:23 – How to validate your partner using the connection flow: Brandon introduces the “connection flow,” a structured method for listening, reflecting, and validating your spouse's emotions without minimizing or fixing them.00:51:14 – Listen, reflect, ask: The final steps of the connection flow—how to validate your partner by listening, reflecting, and gently asking if there’s anything you missed.00:54:00 – Coming Fully Alive in Your Body: They encourage couples to stop being passive and invite one another into a living, breathing, emotionally vibrant relationship.
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57:43
Navigating Sexual Brokenness in Your Relationship (Part Two)
In this episode of the Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into part two of Navigating Sexual Brokenness in Your Relationship, where Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen explore how to move beyond surface-level struggles toward true healing and intimacy. From overcoming shame and addiction to rebuilding trust and emotional connection, this episode is packed with raw truths and hard-earned insights. The Doerksens challenge common narratives around sexuality, break down where addictive behaviors come from, and share how they rewired their relationship from the inside out. Whether you're in the thick of healing or ready to take your relationship to the next level, this one’s a must-listen.Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th (Registration Closed)📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to apply for a spot inside the Grounded Men's Community AppWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyndoerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:27 – Intro: Brandon and Caitlyn kick things off with a behind-the-scenes moment and introduce part two of the sexual brokenness conversation.00:03:34 – Your sexuality is meant to bring you closer: Brandon reframes sexuality as a powerful tool for connection, not destruction, and why most couples miss this. 00:04:59 – Escaping Pain Through Counterfeits: They explore how people turn to porn, fantasy, and objectification when they don’t feel safe enough to pursue real intimacy with their spouse.00:07:12 – Brandon's turning point: What changed when Brandon finally committed to healing in 2019-2020. 00:13:16 – Fantasy vs. Authentic Sexuality: Caitlyn explains the massive difference between indulging in fantasy and cultivating real, connected sexuality within marriage. 00:22:00 – Seeking Approval Through Sex: Brandon explains how many men chase approval through sexual attention, often choosing fantasy because it feels "safe" compared to facing possible rejection from their spouse. 00:32:54 – You Weren’t Born Wired This Way: How cultural, spiritual, and childhood narratives “wired” men to objectify, and how unplugging those wires leads to freedom. 00:39:10 – Intentional Media Detox: The couple breaks down how consciously removing visual media helped rewire Brandon’s thought patterns and eliminated curiosity-based temptation. 00:42:31 – The Power of Being Known: They discuss how emotional intimacy and feeling truly “known” by your partner brings healing to sexual brokenness. 00:48:01 – Facing the Pain Is the Only Way Through It: Avoiding the pain doesn’t work—freedom only comes when you face it head-on, together.00:50:46 – Join the 8-Week Experience: Brandon and Caitlyn share their upcoming 8-week course, which teaches the exact process they used to rewire their marriage and experience deep connection and sexual wholeness.
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52:32
Navigating Sexual Brokenness in Your Relationship (Part One)
In this episode of the Grounded Union Podcast, we dive deep into navigating sexual brokenness in your relationship. Hosts Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen openly discuss their personal journey from sexual brokenness and hidden struggles to complete freedom and intimacy. They challenge common narratives about sexuality—particularly the idea that attraction outside marriage is inevitable—and share how rewiring the brain through honest communication and intentional practices can lead to profound healing. Brandon reveals the surprising clarity he's found after overcoming his compulsions, while Caitlyn provides powerful encouragement and practical advice for navigating pain and finding deeper connection. Listen in for a candid conversation that encourages growth, trust, and understanding in your relationship! Our 2025 Grounded Union 2-Day Workshops:📍 Mesa, Arizona – April 12th & 13th (just a few days from now!)📍 Portland, Oregon – June 7th & 8th📍 San Diego, California – August 22nd & 23rd📍 Maui, Hawaii – October 10th-13th (3-Day Marriage Intensive—limited to 20 couples, lodging included!)Workshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsLooking for immediate support in your marriage?Community for Men: Tap here to apply for a spot inside the Grounded Men's Community AppWorkshops for Couples: Tap here to attend one of our 2025 in-person workshopsGrounded Intimacy Program: Tap here for more info on our online couples program Follow us on social at @brandontalksmarriage & @caitlyndoerksenCheck out our IG account to stay updated @groundedunionpodcastYouTube Show available hereTimestamps & Key Moments:00:00:27 – Welcome & Event Announcements – In-person workshops are happening this year!00:03:00 – Understanding sexual brokenness: Brandon and Caitlyn define what sexual brokenness means and why it’s crucial for couples.00:10:10 – Overcoming shame: The hosts discuss the barriers of shame in relationships and how to address them.00:18:45 – Communication tips: Actionable advice on how to communicate about intimacy with your spouse.00:22:15 – Going Deeper into Brokenness: Caitlyn highlights the need to explore hidden layers beyond obvious behaviors like pornography or affairs.00:33:40 – Brandon’s Breakthrough: Brandon details his struggle and revelation that freedom was possible after deeply exploring his sexual history.00:42:30 – Exploring emotional intimacy: Why emotional connection is just as important as physical connection in building sexual wholeness.00:44:15 – Practical Healing Steps: Brandon and Caitlyn share the four-step method (Recognize, Receive, Release, Replace) that led to Brandon's lasting freedom.00:55:00 – Actionable advice for couples: Practical steps to take toward sexual wholeness.00:57:19 – Final Thoughts & Takeaways – Caitlyn advises wives on how to support their husbands through painful revelations and emphasizes self-care during the process.
Welcome to the Grounded Union Podcast, hosted by Brandon and Caitlyn Doerksen.
In 2019, our marriage hit rock bottom—so close to divorce that we thought there was no way back. But through deep healing, transformation, and a relentless pursuit of something better, we didn’t just save our marriage—we created something more beautiful than we ever imagined.
On our journey, we realized that the conventional advice from counselors, pastors, and mentors wasn’t enough. So, we set out on an uncharted path, searching for real, lasting change. Now, standing on the other side, we’ve mapped out the exact process that restored our love, trust, and connection—a process we weren’t given but one we discovered through lived experience.
This podcast is our invitation to you: to walk this path with us, to challenge the norms, and to build a marriage that is passionate, open, honest, deeply connected, and full of life. No one told us it was possible—but we’re here to tell you: it absolutely is.
Join us on this journey. It’s not just about saving your marriage—it’s about creating one that’s stronger, richer, and more alive than ever.
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