The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

I'm welcoming back one of your favorite guests and one of mine, divorce mortgage specialist Tami Wollensak, because we need to talk about the house. Specifically… what actually happens to it in divorce and what your real options are. Mortgage rules have shifted, interest rates have changed, and the questions I hear from clients all the time still come back to the same thing: 

Can I keep the house? 

Should I keep the house? 

Is it even possible?

Tami and I walk through the realities behind keeping the marital home, including what people misunderstand about ownership, how mortgage assumption actually works, and why the emotional pull to keep it has to be balanced with long-term financial stability. We also talk about what happens when plans fall through, how to build backup strategies into your agreements, and why sometimes the smartest move is stepping back instead of fighting to stay.

This conversation walks through the real financial and legal realities of what happens to the house in divorce. Because wanting the house and being able to keep the house are not always the same thing.

What you'll hear about in this episode:

The biggest misconception about "wanting to keep the house" (2:18)
What mortgage assumption means and why you must ask the right questions (8:32)
Why home ownership isn't always the healthiest financial decision after divorce (23:14)
What happens when a mortgage assumption falls through and how to recover (41:32)


Resources & Links:

Assessing Change Worksheet
Get Your Curated Podcast Playlist
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce 

Tami's Website
Episode 204: Take or Leave the House? With Tami Wollensak

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DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-357-the-truth-about-mortgage-assumptions-with-tami-wollensak/

When you tell your partner you want a divorce and suddenly they promise everything, how do you know if it's real desire to change or just panic talking? You may be hearing apologies that sound deeper than anything you've heard before, promises of therapy, and urgent requests for time, all while you're stuck questioning yourself. Is this real? Is it different this time? Or is this fear talking? That confusion, the second-guessing, and the pull to pause your own healing just to see what happens are incredibly common.

In this solo episode, I walk you through how to assess change clearly and safely. You'll learn what real change actually looks like beyond words and emotional displays, why pressure and urgency are red flags, and why your safety and autonomy never become negotiable just because someone promises to change. Remember, you can keep moving forward with your own healing and planning without putting your life on hold while a partner claims they are working on themselves.

✨This episode includes a free downloadable worksheet to help you assess whether real change is actually happening. Grab it at kateanthony.com/assessingchange.

What you'll hear about in this episode:

How to tell the difference between genuine commitment and a crisis reaction
What real change actually looks like in behavior, accountability, and time
Why your nervous system is data and how to use it to assess safety
How to observe patterns without gaslighting yourself or putting your life on hold
Why your safety and autonomy never become negotiable

✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.


Resources & Links:

Assessing Change Worksheet
Get Your Curated Podcast Playlist
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce 

===================

DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-356-how-to-assess-real-change-when-a-partner-promises-everything/

Divorce can become significantly more complicated when culture, immigration status, or international law are part of the equation. I'm joined by family law attorney Diana Romanov for a conversation about what happens when divorce crosses cultural and international lines. 
Diana brings a rare perspective to this work, shaped by her own immigration journey, her legal training, and practice across multiple countries. Together, we unpack how jurisdiction is determined when spouses live in different countries, how cultural norms shape power and decision-making in divorce, and why custody battles often look very different when one parent has been the primary caregiver for most of the marriage. We also dig into the realities of international relocation with children and how courts decide who can move, who can't, and why.
At its core, this is about understanding how power, protection, and parenting are negotiated when the rules are shaped by more than one system.
What you'll hear about in this episode:
How Diana's international background and lived experience as an immigrant informs the way she practices family law and advocates for clients across cultural lines (2:06)

What "jurisdiction" really means in international and cross-border divorce (5:00)

How cultural norms around gender roles, finances, and marriage can deeply impact the divorce process (11:05)

Strategic realities behind custody negotiations, including when equal timeshare is about optics or money rather than actual parenting (13:08)

How international and long-distance custody and relocation cases are evaluated, including the factors courts use to decide whether a parent can move with children (24:46)

What parents need to understand about documentation, communication, and evidence in high-conflict and cross-border cases (34:40)

✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.
Learn more about Diana Romanov: Diana Romanov is a San Francisco family law attorney, licensed in California and Germany, and a certified Family Law Specialist. Fluent in English, Russian, and German, she provides counsel, representation, and mediation services across cultural lines.
Previously a prosecutor at the Regional Superior Court of Berlin, Diana practiced with Beiten Burghard & Wegner and Linklaters Oppenhoff & Raedler. She earned the Justice and Diversity Center's Outstanding Pro Bono Award (2012–13) and was named a Super Lawyers Rising Star for her client care and legal expertise. Diana holds a J.D. in family law from Freie University School of Law (Berlin) and an LL.M. in US Legal Studies from Golden Gate University.
Born in Kiev and raised in Germany, Diana's multicultural background enriches her empathetic approach. Drawing on her own divorce experience, she founded a boutique firm to deliver personalized, efficient solutions in custody, support, mediation, alimony, and asset division.
Resources & Links:
Get Your Curated Podcast Playlist
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce

Diana's website
Diana on LinkedIn
Diana on Facebook
Diana on YouTube
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DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-355-divorce-across-borders-with-diana-romanov/

Many women are grieving two things at once right now, a relationship that didn't protect them and a country that won't either. 

There is a lot happening in the world right now, and none of it is abstract. Not for women. Not for our marriages, our divorces, our bodies, our safety, or our credibility. What we are witnessing is the lived, relational impact of rising authoritarianism.

In this solo episode, I wanted to take a moment to slow this conversation down and connect the dots between what women experience privately and what is unfolding publicly. 

This is not about ideology or opinion.
It is about power. It is about who is believed, who is doubted, and who is controlled.
And it is about why so many women are feeling alarmed, not because they are confused, but because they recognize the familiar dynamics of control. They recognize the patterns.

For a long time, we were taught that politics lived "out there" in elections, legislation, and institutions we were never meant to shape, while relationships were framed as personal, private choices. That separation was not accidental. It was strategic. 

Authoritarian systems depend on that divide, because when women's lives are framed as personal, our suffering can be dismissed as individual failure and our silence mistaken for consent.

This episode is a call to stay awake without collapsing, to stay aligned with what you already know, and to remember that awareness does not require constant activation. We do this together. We tap out and tap in for one another. The personal has always been the political. 

What you'll hear about in this episode:

Why separating "the personal" from "the political" was an intentional strategy designed to keep women's suffering isolated and depoliticized
How women's exhaustion, self doubt, and depletion inside marriage are not personal failures, but political conditions
Why you cannot meditate, communicate, or self optimize your way out of systems built on unequal power
How naming harm becomes threatening to systems that rely on fragmentation and silence
How authoritarianism mirrors abusive relationship dynamics through control, denial, punishment, and gaslighting
Why women, especially Black women, recognize creeping control early and sound alarms before institutions do
Why backlash against women's clarity is evidence of lost control, not women being wrong
Why rest, regulation, and nervous system care are essential parts of resistance, not distractions from it

✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

Resources & Links:

Get Your Curated Podcast Playlist
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce 

Episode 95: Toxic Abuser-in-Chief: What Politics Has to Do With Your Marriage

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DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Episode link:  https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-354-the-personal-has-always-been-political/

When you're living inside an abusive relationship, one of the hardest things to do is see the pattern clearly while you're still in it. Everything feels confusing and destabilizing, especially when blame shifting, gaslighting, and constantly moving goalposts are part of the dynamic.

That's why I'm so grateful to welcome back Anne Wintemute, CEO and Co-Founder of Aimee Says, an AI-powered support and documentation platform that helps women understand what's happening in abusive dynamics. Anne and I talk about how women are using Aimee Says in real life to bring clarity to chaos, especially during post separation, custody battles, and ongoing co-parenting conflict.

We explore how identifying patterns as they are happening can be revolutionary, and how Aimee Says reflects women's lived experiences back to them in a way that validates reality. We also talk about how having all of your information in one place helps women create clear plans of action when preparing for mediation, working with attorneys, or deciding next steps.

Moreover, we talk about the changes and updates to the platform, some of which are a total game-changer for victims and survivors.

This episode is about seeing what's really happening, trusting yourself again, and having tools that help you stay grounded in truth.

What you'll hear about in this episode:

How Aimee Says helps clarify patterns in abusive relationships (5:26)
How women are using Aimee Says in real life to document abuse (10:56)
Why blame shifting is the most common tactic women experience and how it keeps people stuck (12:04)
The connection between authoritarian leadership, power and control, and abusive dynamics (31:18)

✨ If you'd like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

Learn more about Anne Wintemute: Anne Wintemute is the Co-Founder and CEO of Aimee Says, an AI companion for victims and survivors of controlling partners. When she's not working to hold perpetrators accountable, Anne can be found tending her urban farm or playing with her kids in Denver Colorado. 

Resources & Links:


Get Your Curated Podcast Playlist
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate's Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Seven Step Mindset Reset for Divorce 

Aimee Says - DSG Listeners, Use Code: SurvivalGuide at Checkout to Get 2 Free Months

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DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-353-aimee-says-updates-how-women-are-documenting-abuse-in-real-time-with-anne-wintemute/