142: Best of: Codependency Doesn’t Exist with Shahem McLaurin
Codependency is one of those buzzwords often used in therapy and mental health around relationships. Today’s guest has provoked a lot of feedback by challenging people’s views on this subject. Join us for this intriguing conversation.
I’m joined by one of my favorite people on TikTok, Shahem Mclaurin, a social worker in Brooklyn, NY, with over 500,000 followers on social media. Shahem is self-described as a person who is “queer as hell, Black as hell, and loud as hell.” They use their platform to address a wide range of social and mental health issues impacting people of color, patriarchy-impacted people, and members of the LGBTQ+ community.
Show Highlights:
● How Shahem’s view of codependency has challenged the worldview of many people
● Why Shahem got a lot of blowback from his thoughts on codependency when he began to challenge popular worldviews
● Why we need to differentiate between attention-seeking and connection-seeking behaviors
● Why people get defensive when their “codependency identification” is challenged
● How the term codependency originated as part of popular therapeutic language
● How our culture sees having empathy for someone and expecting accountability from them as opposites that can’t both be true at the same time
● Thoughts on codependency, outside validation, connectivity, and feeling emotionally safe
● How to take a look at your unique journey “in the pool”
Resources and Links:
Connect with Shahem: TikTok and Instagram
Connect with KC: TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes
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48:16
141: Best of: Boundary stories pt 1: The dad I didn't cut off
The thing about boundaries is that they are much more complex than most people assume. The world of boundary-setting is rarely colored with clearly defined black-and-white choices. Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend Bethany about her relationship with her father and how she handled boundaries in ways that felt authentic to her. We are discussing how boundaries come into play in the relationships we have and the decision-making process we use. Join us to learn more!
Show Highlights:
● A little background on Bethany’s dad, their relationship, and how she grew up not feeling wanted and approved by him
● How Bethany’s relationship with her dad got worse as she became an adult and encountered her personal addiction issues
● How Bethany learned hard lessons about communicating with her dad
● Why Bethany decided to maintain her relationship with her dad—even though he gave her every reason not to
● How Bethany set hard boundaries by not engaging with him when he was drinking and verbally abusive to her
● How extra complexities came into their relationship when his health declined and he needed her more and more
● Why Bethany’s decisions to engage and re-engage were never about believing he would change
● Why the boundary decisions we make are less about what is right or wrong and more about how we can remain an authentic, whole person
● How Bethany handled his terminal illness in ways that left her with no regrets
Resources and Links:
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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31:29
140: Camp For All: How Inclusive Camp Changes Lives
I’m honored to be joined by Pat Sorrells for this episode. Pat is the CEO and president of Camp For All, a camp for ALL abilities and disabilities that opened in 1998. Pat has invested her heart and life into this organization, serving in her current role since 2007. Camp For All has impacted tens of thousands of people in ways that other camps cannot do. Join us to learn more!
Show Highlights:
The beautiful mission of Camp For All
A truly “barrier-free” camp is much different from other camps.
The importance of a REAL camp experience–instead of short-changing kids with challenging needs
Camp For All structure for programs throughout the year
The unique model of Camp For All in partnering with organizations to provide camps catering to kids with specific needs
Highlights of Pat’s fondest memories of Camp For All’s scope of impact and accommodation
Fun camp activities at Camp For All
Specific accommodations at Camp For All
Want to access Camp For All or partner with Camp For All? Pat explains what to do by accessing their Website.
Resources and Links:
Connect with Camp For All: Website
Preorder my new book: Struggle Care Website, Amazon, and Bookshop
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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40:30
139: Pausing Your Career to Stay at Home (A Resource for Women Who Aren't Tradwives)
In this episode of Struggle Care, host KC Davis speaks with Neha Ruch, founder of Mother Untitled and author of The Power Pause. Together, they explore the reality of modern motherhood, particularly for women who decide—or feel compelled—to pause their careers to care for their children. This conversation addresses the outdated stereotypes of stay-at-home moms and offers empowering, practical insights for navigating this unique chapter with confidence and clarity.
Show Highlights:
Neha’s personal story behind writing The Power Pause
What the “tradwife” movement misses—and who this book is really for
Why "stay-at-home mom" is an outdated and limiting term
How women can redefine productivity, identity, and success during a career pause
The hidden costs of idealized motherhood in media and social platforms
A breakdown of the personal, professional, and family goals women can set while caregiving
Financial planning tips and why couples must prepare for the pause together
The role of privilege, budgeting, and honest conversations with your partner
How to reclaim agency and dignity during motherhood—without losing ambition
Why it’s time to rewrite the narrative of caregiving and career on your own terms
Resources and Links:
📘 The Power Pause by Neha Ruch – Available wherever you get your books
🌐 Mother Untitled Website – Free resources including financial prep, postnups, and return-to-work guidance
📱 Follow Neha on Instagram
Connect with KC Davis:
🌐 Website
📱 TikTok | Instagram | Facebook
📘 How to Keep House While Drowning
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48:41
138: BEST OF: A Hot Fat Guy Takes on Toxic Masculinity with Alex Frankel
Today’s topic is exciting: toxic masculinity, which might be better termed “functional masculinity.” I’m joined by Alex Frankel, who grew up in San Francisco clearly understanding that the definition of hotness was dictated by beautiful people in popular magazines. During his entire childhood, he felt trapped in his fat body and hated how he looked. He finally realized that being hot was more than perfect abs and bulging biceps but more of an attitude. Alex is now a successful plus-size model, and he’s a body-acceptance advocate and role model for fat guys all around the world. He created the Hot Fat Guy Club to dispel the myths around diet, culture, fatphobia, and other fat people stereotypes. His goal was to create a welcoming community where people are celebrated and not shamed for their body types. Why do I love this topic? It’s because men are not often talked about in the body positivity movement. Join us for a new perspective from a Hot Fat Guy!
Show Highlights:
● An overview of Dr. Ronald Levant’s Seven Tenets of Traditional Masculine Ideology
● Where the problem of masculinity originates because of deeply entrenched patriarchy, traditional masculine values, programming, and gender policing
● Fascinating trends in how young boys and girls segregate themselves until puberty hits
● Why Alex believes a lack of empathy and respect for other human beings are core issues with today’s masculinity
● How we are taught the power differential by society around relationships and rejection
● How programmed traditional masculinity can be dormant until it flares up later in life
● The link between church and religious propaganda and traditional masculinity
● Why men have been programmed by traditional masculinity around vulnerability and feeling shame in showing emotions
● Three things to note around weaponized vulnerability, emotional safety, and caring feelings
● An example about the inability to express or understand emotions
Resources and Links:
Connect with Alex Frankel and the Hot Fat Guy Club: TikTok and Instagram
Mentioned in this episode: Therapy Chat podcast and The Tough Standard: The Hard Truths About Masculinity and Violence by Ronald F. Levant and Shana Pryor
Connect with KC: Website, TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook
Get KC’s book, How to Keep House While Drowning
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: www.strugglecare.com/promo-codes.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
A podcast about self-care by a host that hates the term self-care. Therapist KC Davis, author of the book How to Keep House While Drowning talks about mental health, care tasks, and more.
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